Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: FFFC
I can see how it might sting, but just don't open the post. I feel bad for the well-meaning idiots who are just excited to be pregnant and then end up decapitated on the side of the board.
The problem I have with it is that I don't think it's really rooted in hurt feelings over the BFP, but in feeling like part of the in-crowd. That's how all the "rules" feel. It's like Mean Girls.
I'm sorry you feel guilty. I can see why you'd do it though. Five hundred buys a lot of diapers.
I don't judge you! I judge him more. I bet he asked similar of women he could tell we're struggling and likely to agree.
LOL! I bet that person will never make a remark like that again!
Stoup is fuckings awesome.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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I never thought about that, but you're probably right. Thanks for the perspective.
"Man, be creative. Like the stuff you do. Do nice things. Love respectfully. Laugh a fucking lot. Curse when you feel like it. Life is cool." - Jean Grae
I know of men who do this to young women who need financial help. They prey upon them. Its like the financial desperation turns them on or something. I'm sorry you had to do that. No judging. I'd do whatever I had to in order to support DDs.
I'm sure he did. Ride sharing is more common in lower income brackets. Were you bumming a ride from him? If you mentioned your child or your job, he could easily guess you didn't have much.
I judge him a douche and you young and desperate.
Its kinda like using the R-word when dicking around. You get it, I get it, but someone is living through the real deal and its not a joke to them, KWIM? People do not take EDs very seriously IRL, at least not the people I know, and when we continue to use those terms lightly, it makes it more of a joke to them, and makes it harder from someone who has that issue to come forward or open up about it.
I learned about that back in an old fffc when I bitched about some actress needing to eat a burger or something cause seeing her vertebrae on the big screen was gross.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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I see and agree with both points.
Maybe I'll just suck it up and go ask my questions then.
Please provide details. Because I am that bored.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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Well slugging is not really so much a low income thing. In Northern VA it's actually a really popular way to commute. People pick up riders so they can get on the HOV and circumvent much of the traffic on 95.
"Man, be creative. Like the stuff you do. Do nice things. Love respectfully. Laugh a fucking lot. Curse when you feel like it. Life is cool." - Jean Grae
Ah, makes sense. It was more for people who couldn't afford cars where I grew up.
I still judge him a douche.
I agree he's a douche, but I was a grown woman. I knew what I was doing.
"Man, be creative. Like the stuff you do. Do nice things. Love respectfully. Laugh a fucking lot. Curse when you feel like it. Life is cool." - Jean Grae
No flames on this, especially after reading your situation. I can see why you feel guilty but the shame is on him for cheating (if he was cheating and his wife didnt know but if she did know then meh) and for soliciting.
Hope he was at least good in the sack.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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+1 Good for you for saying something in the moment. I only ever think of the right response after the moment has passed.
Yeah, but I don't think you should feel that guilty. He was a jerk. You made a mistake. You're not responsible for his decision to cheat. As long as you're not repeating mistakes now, stop beating yourself up.
He was not. It was the (ahem) quickest $500 I've every made.
"Man, be creative. Like the stuff you do. Do nice things. Love respectfully. Laugh a fucking lot. Curse when you feel like it. Life is cool." - Jean Grae
My confession: today is my husband and my five year anniversary. I have a card and nothing else. I know he has a present for me and set up a babysitter so we can go out tonight. I couldn't think of anything to get him and was just going to get some lingerie, but I'm hosting a baby shower today at work and so I never got around to shopping. I suck.
You have got to know what the bump's suggestion will be.
When did he last have a BJ? Do you have any time to shop for lingerie today?
Blow job or buttsex. Tried and true alternative to a gift.
Love your response to annoying Target shopper. Were you ragey or calm?
This is kind of my thought. Our son was born last year in early Feb and I made sure to go find a Valentines card before DS was born. DH did nothing for Valentines, Mother's Day (you're not my mom), and our anniversary last year so we had a "come to jesus" talk that he should at least get me a card.
You were a child. 22 isnt that grown up. I mean, really, have you seen the movies about the college parties? Do you really think people who actually have the maturity of a grown adult would do stuff like that? And thats not saying that people that young are idiots, its just that even though legally its adult, mentally and emotionally we are still developing at that age, and impulse control is still an issue for many many people. And you had a kid to think of. Hell, last year when we were freaked the fluck out about money because our income for a bit was about 1000 less than we needed to make bills, and we ran through all of our savings and 401k staying current, I would have been hard pressed to say no in the same situation. But with my current skills and being a calculated manipulative ***, I would have asked for twice that, and no buttsecks.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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Ok, yeah, I am on team your lucky you got a card now that you said that. No BJ or buttsex.
"Man, be creative. Like the stuff you do. Do nice things. Love respectfully. Laugh a fucking lot. Curse when you feel like it. Life is cool." - Jean Grae
FFFC: I waited tables at a strip club for less than a week when I was 22, but they kept pressuring me to strip so I called in with a twisted ankle and never went back. The place sucked too, I love going to strip clubs with H but we would never patronize that place.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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If DDs hadn't left my chesticles looking like pancakes, I would totally strip. I love my body. I didn't always. I don't think I would go to nude beaches. Laying around naked in public isn't appealing, but dancing all sexy-like? I'd do it. Especially if I got paid well to do so.
But it would have to be a klassy joint.
I have a kind of funny one. I have two small tattoos. When I went to get my first one, I was flipping through the books and came accross a section with different Arabic lettering with the translations written above in English. I finally picked out the word "Power" and told the tattoo artist what I'd picked. So he goes off to make the transfer while I got settled in the room. For some reason I decided to take my glasses off. The guy comes back, places the transfer then shows me in the mirror and I ok it. So like 10 minutes later he was done (it's tiny) and I put my glasses back on to look at it. Well, to my horror, I have not only the Arabic but the English translation above it the exact way it appears in the book. I didn't catch it before he started because I'm blind as a bat without my glasses. So my first tattoo was botched, though y'all are the first people I've ever admitted that too.
ETA: I guess that's actually two confessions in one. I have a tattoo in a language I do not speak or read. I do know it's correct, though because the guy I was dating at the time was Egyptian and was there when I picked it out.
Oh and confession #3: said tattoo was acquired in a nail shop. I also had my nose pierced there. I still go there for pedicures.
"Man, be creative. Like the stuff you do. Do nice things. Love respectfully. Laugh a fucking lot. Curse when you feel like it. Life is cool." - Jean Grae
Thanks. I have some mom friends who don't let their kids watch more than a half hour or an hour of TV a day and it's probably on for my kid for about 3 hours a day. I know that some people would give me the side eye for that but he doesn't seem to be negatively affected so whatever.
We can start our own club together. International House of Pancake Tits.
I don't doubt you, I just haven't lurked there in like a year.
I was a whole 175 lbs at the time. Aint nobody wanna see that.
The strippers would be doing coke and smoking joints out in the parking lot too, and several would be drunk by the end of the night.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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Maybe we can use our tip money to get new ones???
Sure. My eyes will be all bruised up from getting smacked in the face by my boobies. Helps to mitigate white blindnesses.
We potty trainedDs when Dd was 10w old. We tried right after she was born while Dh was on paternity leave. It didn't go well. We waited a month or two and then it was a piece of cake!
Ididn't try to Pt before Dd was born Bc I've had a few friends warn about regression. I didn't want to have to Pt twice
GL!
I had the chance, but didn't take it. I regret it occasionally.
I agree. My family is lucky they get one meal out of me. Some nights I say eff it and just feed the baby and make everyone else fend for themselves.
"Man, be creative. Like the stuff you do. Do nice things. Love respectfully. Laugh a fucking lot. Curse when you feel like it. Life is cool." - Jean Grae