FFFC

littlestjerry · May 2013

Onederful Mother:
RondackHiker:
Little Jerry:

RondackHiker:

Another confession: I'm scared of the TTGP board. I've heard people say the ladies there are nice, but I've also seen massive flamings for announcing a BFP too soon or something like that. It scares me and I don't want to upset anyone so I stay here.

That board needs to be the subject of an anthropological study. There's so many "rules," and the crucifixion that occurs when someone doesn't follow one of them is cringeworthy.

The whole drive-by thing is insane. Just...don't read it or respond...

The rules are what scare me. I think one is to hang around and post for a few months before you announce a BFP. We've been trying six months now, so if I start posting and get a BFP in a week, do I get flamed? Or no? I know you're not supposed to complain about not being pregnant unless you've been trying years, right? I think that's how it is. The rules scare me.

TTGP needs to get over it. Seriously, I can understand those rules for TTTC, but not for TTGP. It doesn't matter how many cycles you TTC, if you are actively trying to get pregnant, you should be able to freely post on that board without being scolded. The ones who are too sensitive to handle a "drive-by" or BFP on the first cycle need to pack their bags and head over to TTTC where they are free to complain in peace and I would support them doing so.
I say you go over there and post and learn from the ones who are there to actually share advice and ignore the ones who are lurking in the shadows to pounce.

I can see how it might sting, but just don't open the post. I feel bad for the well-meaning idiots who are just excited to be pregnant and then end up decapitated on the side of the board.

The problem I have with it is that I don't think it's really rooted in hurt feelings over the BFP, but in feeling like part of the in-crowd. That's how all the "rules" feel. It's like Mean Girls.

RondackHiker · May 2013

ReeseFox:
RondackHiker:
ReeseFox:
RondackHiker:
Everyone needs to break out new confessions. Shake this up.
I once slept with a married man for money. 

Way to step it up.

When was this? How old we're you? How much? What was involved? Is he still married? How'd you meet him?
I've been debating pulling that one out for awhile.
This was about 9 or 10 years ago, so I was about 22. I met him slugging (ridesharing) home from work. I don't remember how it even came up, but he propositioned me and I told him I would think about it. I was young with a baby to support, and $500 was more than I made in a week, so I called him the next day to set it up. I haven't seen him since but I still feel guilty about it everyday.

I'm sorry you feel guilty. I can see why you'd do it though. Five hundred buys a lot of diapers.

I don't judge you! I judge him more. I bet he asked similar of women he could tell we're struggling and likely to agree.

stoneycakes · May 2013

Scout2005:
stoneycakes:
Scout2005:
Mine are all lame, and in the "I ate unhealthy food, ZOMG, and let DD watch THREE ELMO EPISODES IN A ROW, shock."
I lead a very boring life.
eta: I totally verbally eviscerated some jerkhole at Target who called my TWO YEAR old a brat because she was melting down in line at checkout. Normally I just ignore, but I'd had it.
Does cursing at a stranger in line at Target for being mean to my kid count as a FFFC?
Something along the lines of "oh blow it out your_ass, I think you'll survive a minute or two of a toddler crying. You can go eff yourself sidewise, and if you ever so much as look at my kid again, I will be your worst nightmare."
The cashier was totally Team Me and gave DD extra stickers, lol.
Wow! I would probably do the same thing. What did you say to him?

LOL! I bet that person will never make a remark like that again!

Kitiara5512 · May 2013

Little Jerry:
Rachel Ray says so much annoying shiit. She calls her husband "my sweetie." Ugh and stoup ("thicker than a soup, but not as thick as a stew!"). She seems nice enough, but living with her would put me in the nuthouse, I think.

Stoup is fuckings awesome.

suv75 · May 2013

I think all the concerns with following the rules and worrying about being sensitive for siggies, posting a BFP, etc. is taken way too seriously. Look, I understand what some of these women are going through, but you can't control things like seeing pregnant women and babies in real life. I don't agree with the deliberate rubbing your news in others' faces, but these boards take the damn rules way too seriously and then act like aholes to lots of women who don't deserve it.

ReeseFox · May 2013

RondackHiker:
I'm sorry you feel guilty. I can see why you'd do it though. Five hundred buys a lot of diapers. I don't judge you! I judge him more. I bet he asked similar of women he could tell we're struggling and likely to agree.

I never thought about that, but you're probably right. Thanks for the perspective.

acaudill75 · May 2013

RondackHiker:
ReeseFox:
RondackHiker:
ReeseFox:

RondackHiker:
Everyone needs to break out new confessions. Shake this up.

I once slept with a married man for money.

Way to step it up. When was this? How old we're you? How much? What was involved? Is he still married? How'd you meet him?

I've been debating pulling that one out for awhile.

This was about 9 or 10 years ago, so I was about 22. I met him slugging (ridesharing) home from work. I don't remember how it even came up, but he propositioned me and I told him I would think about it. I was young with a baby to support, and $500 was more than I made in a week, so I called him the next day to set it up. I haven't seen him since but I still feel guilty about it everyday.

I'm sorry you feel guilty. I can see why you'd do it though. Five hundred buys a lot of diapers. I don't judge you! I judge him more. I bet he asked similar of women he could tell we're struggling and likely to agree.

I know of men who do this to young women who need financial help. They prey upon them. Its like the financial desperation turns them on or something. I'm sorry you had to do that. No judging. I'd do whatever I had to in order to support DDs.

RondackHiker · May 2013

ReeseFox:
RondackHiker:
I'm sorry you feel guilty. I can see why you'd do it though. Five hundred buys a lot of diapers.

I don't judge you! I judge him more. I bet he asked similar of women he could tell we're struggling and likely to agree.
I never thought about that, but you're probably right. Thanks for the perspective. 

I'm sure he did. Ride sharing is more common in lower income brackets. Were you bumming a ride from him? If you mentioned your child or your job, he could easily guess you didn't have much.

I judge him a douche and you young and desperate.

Kitiara5512 · May 2013

mbenit4:
robinsokj:
I guess my confession is that I call my cat bulimic all the time. If my animals are acting nuts I call them schitzo. I will continue to do so

This.

I really sat here and thought about this and I just don't get it. If I say my cat is acting schizophrenic, I just don't see how that is making fun of schizophrenics or making light of the illness? I work with mental people all day so I might tell my coworker this because she knows what I mean.

I don't know.

Its kinda like using the R-word when dicking around. You get it, I get it, but someone is living through the real deal and its not a joke to them, KWIM? People do not take EDs very seriously IRL, at least not the people I know, and when we continue to use those terms lightly, it makes it more of a joke to them, and makes it harder from someone who has that issue to come forward or open up about it.

I learned about that back in an old fffc when I bitched about some actress needing to eat a burger or something cause seeing her vertebrae on the big screen was gross.

RondackHiker · May 2013

Scout2005:
suv75:
I think all the concerns with following the rules and worrying about being sensitive for siggies, posting a BFP, etc. is taken way too seriously. Look, I understand what some of these women are going through, but you can't control things like seeing pregnant women and babies in real life. I don't agree with the deliberate rubbing your news in others' faces, but these boards take the damn rules way too seriously and then act like aholes to lots of women who don't deserve it.
Depends on the board.
I think it's completely okay to ask for and expect siggy warnings on loss boards. 
No, you can't avoid pregnant women in real life. That's part of the pain and heartbreak. So the AL boards become a place of refuge and safety, and I can't tell you how much a person needs that sometimes. 

I see and agree with both points.

Maybe I'll just suck it up and go ask my questions then.

Kitiara5512 · May 2013

Scout2005:
Mine are all lame, and in the "I ate unhealthy food, ZOMG, and let DD watch THREE ELMO EPISODES IN A ROW, shock."
I lead a very boring life.
eta: I totally verbally eviscerated some jerkhole at Target who called my TWO YEAR old a brat because she was melting down in line at checkout. Normally I just ignore, but I'd had it.
Does cursing at a stranger in line at Target for being mean to my kid count as a FFFC?

Please provide details. Because I am that bored.

ReeseFox · May 2013

RondackHiker:
ReeseFox:
RondackHiker:
I'm sorry you feel guilty. I can see why you'd do it though. Five hundred buys a lot of diapers. I don't judge you! I judge him more. I bet he asked similar of women he could tell we're struggling and likely to agree.
I never thought about that, but you're probably right. Thanks for the perspective.
I'm sure he did. Ride sharing is more common in lower income brackets. Were you bumming a ride from him? If you mentioned your child or your job, he could easily guess you didn't have much. I judge him a douche and you young and desperate.

Well slugging is not really so much a low income thing. In Northern VA it's actually a really popular way to commute. People pick up riders so they can get on the HOV and circumvent much of the traffic on 95.

RondackHiker · May 2013

ReeseFox:
RondackHiker:
ReeseFox:
RondackHiker:
I'm sorry you feel guilty. I can see why you'd do it though. Five hundred buys a lot of diapers.

I don't judge you! I judge him more. I bet he asked similar of women he could tell we're struggling and likely to agree.
I never thought about that, but you're probably right. Thanks for the perspective. 

I'm sure he did. Ride sharing is more common in lower income brackets. Were you bumming a ride from him? If you mentioned your child or your job, he could easily guess you didn't have much.

I judge him a douche and you young and desperate.
Well slugging is not really so much a low income thing. In Northern VA it's actually a really popular way to commute. People pick up riders so they can get on the HOV and circumvent much of the traffic on 95.

Ah, makes sense. It was more for people who couldn't afford cars where I grew up.

I still judge him a douche.

ReeseFox · May 2013

RondackHiker:
I still judge him a douche.

I agree he's a douche, but I was a grown woman. I knew what I was doing.

acaudill75 · May 2013

Onederful Mother:
I just confessed this in another thread, but I cook three separate meals each night. One for me, one for my picky husband and one for my picky toddler.

Oh and my toddler has a tv in his room and falls asleep to it every single night. He finally started sleeping through the night (most nights) when we put a tv in his room.
Surely I have another confession so I can make this a trifecta of shitty parenting...
Hmmmm....
Damn, I can't think of anything else at the moment.

DD1, who just turned three, weighst 39 lbs and refuses to eat vegetables or really anything that might be remotely good for her. The best I can do for her is a slice of whole wheat bread with peanut butter on it. So that is what she eats for dinner 4-5 nights a week, with some sort of fruit thrown in. Otherwise, she would want pizza, french fries, cookies, etc. DD2 eats a meat, vegetables and fruit everynight without complaint. I eat whatever is left over. DH works 5 nights, but on the weekends, he's responsible for himself. Three different meals. No flaming from me.

Kitiara5512 · May 2013

ReeseFox:

I once slept with a married man for money.

No flames on this, especially after reading your situation. I can see why you feel guilty but the shame is on him for cheating (if he was cheating and his wife didnt know but if she did know then meh) and for soliciting.

Hope he was at least good in the sack.

NatnDyl · May 2013

HilarityEnsued:
Scout2005:
Something along the lines of "oh blow it out your_ass, I think you'll survive a minute or two of a toddler crying. You can go eff yourself sidewise, and if you ever so much as look at my kid again, I will be your worst nightmare."The cashier was totally Team Me and gave DD extra stickers, lol.

This is 100% awesome.

+1 Good for you for saying something in the moment. I only ever think of the right response after the moment has passed.

RondackHiker · May 2013

ReeseFox:
RondackHiker:
I still judge him a douche.
I agree he's a douche, but I was a grown woman. I knew what I was doing. 

Yeah, but I don't think you should feel that guilty. He was a jerk. You made a mistake. You're not responsible for his decision to cheat. As long as you're not repeating mistakes now, stop beating yourself up.

ReeseFox · May 2013

Kitiara5512:
ReeseFox:

I once slept with a married man for money.
No flames on this, especially after reading your situation. I can see why you feel guilty but the shame is on him for cheating (if he was cheating and his wife didnt know but if she did know then meh) and for soliciting.
Hope he was at least good in the sack.

He was not. It was the (ahem) quickest $500 I've every made.

NatnDyl · May 2013

My confession: today is my husband and my five year anniversary. I have a card and nothing else. I know he has a present for me and set up a babysitter so we can go out tonight. I couldn't think of anything to get him and was just going to get some lingerie, but I'm hosting a baby shower today at work and so I never got around to shopping. I suck.

RondackHiker · May 2013

NatnDyl:
My confession: today is my husband and my five year anniversary. I have a card and nothing else.nbsp;I know he has a present for me and set up a babysitter so we can go out tonight. I couldn't think of anything to get him and was just going to get some lingerie, but I'm hosting a baby shower today at work and so I never got around to shopping. I suck.

You have got to know what the bump's suggestion will be.

When did he last have a BJ? Do you have any time to shop for lingerie today?

acaudill75 · May 2013

NatnDyl:

My confession: today is my husband and my five year anniversary. I have a card and nothing else. I know he has a present for me and set up a babysitter so we can go out tonight. I couldn't think of anything to get him and was just going to get some lingerie, but I'm hosting a baby shower today at work and so I never got around to shopping. I suck.

Blow job or buttsex. Tried and true alternative to a gift.

suv75 · May 2013

I think a card is fine. Let him spoil you

suv75 · May 2013

Scout,

Love your response to annoying Target shopper. Were you ragey or calm?

NatnDyl · May 2013

suv75:
I think a card is fine. Let him spoil you

This is kind of my thought. Our son was born last year in early Feb and I made sure to go find a Valentines card before DS was born. DH did nothing for Valentines, Mother's Day (you're not my mom), and our anniversary last year so we had a "come to jesus" talk that he should at least get me a card.

Kitiara5512 · May 2013

ReeseFox:
RondackHiker:
I still judge him a douche.
I agree he's a douche, but I was a grown woman. I knew what I was doing.

You were a child. 22 isnt that grown up. I mean, really, have you seen the movies about the college parties? Do you really think people who actually have the maturity of a grown adult would do stuff like that? And thats not saying that people that young are idiots, its just that even though legally its adult, mentally and emotionally we are still developing at that age, and impulse control is still an issue for many many people. And you had a kid to think of. Hell, last year when we were freaked the fluck out about money because our income for a bit was about 1000 less than we needed to make bills, and we ran through all of our savings and 401k staying current, I would have been hard pressed to say no in the same situation. But with my current skills and being a calculated manipulative ***, I would have asked for twice that, and no buttsecks.

acaudill75 · May 2013

NatnDyl:

suv75:
I think a card is fine. Let him spoil you

This is kind of my thought. Our son was born last year in early Feb and I made sure to go find a Valentines card before DS was born. DH did nothing for Valentines, Mother's Day (you're not my mom), and our anniversary last year so we had a "come to jesus" talk that he should at least get me a card.

Ok, yeah, I am on team your lucky you got a card now that you said that. No BJ or buttsex.

ReeseFox · May 2013

Spooko:
Also, in response to PP about the sex for money, I'd totally strip or be a highend escort in another life and another body. I think it'd be kind of fun, actually. By the appalled look on my sister's face when I mentioned this, I'm guessing it's also a FFFC.

I think I have mentioned this here before, but I stripped for several months when I was 18.I actually really loved it. FTR there were no "extras" involved.

Kitiara5512 · May 2013

FFFC: I waited tables at a strip club for less than a week when I was 22, but they kept pressuring me to strip so I called in with a twisted ankle and never went back. The place sucked too, I love going to strip clubs with H but we would never patronize that place.

acaudill75 · May 2013

Kitiara5512:

FFFC: I waited tables at a strip club for less than a week when I was 22, but they kept pressuring me to strip so I called in with a twisted ankle and never went back. The place sucked too, I love going to strip clubs with H but we would never patronize that place.

If DDs hadn't left my chesticles looking like pancakes, I would totally strip. I love my body. I didn't always. I don't think I would go to nude beaches. Laying around naked in public isn't appealing, but dancing all sexy-like? I'd do it. Especially if I got paid well to do so.

But it would have to be a klassy joint.

ReeseFox · May 2013

I have a kind of funny one. I have two small tattoos. When I went to get my first one, I was flipping through the books and came accross a section with different Arabic lettering with the translations written above in English. I finally picked out the word "Power" and told the tattoo artist what I'd picked. So he goes off to make the transfer while I got settled in the room. For some reason I decided to take my glasses off. The guy comes back, places the transfer then shows me in the mirror and I ok it. So like 10 minutes later he was done (it's tiny) and I put my glasses back on to look at it. Well, to my horror, I have not only the Arabic but the English translation above it the exact way it appears in the book. I didn't catch it before he started because I'm blind as a bat without my glasses. So my first tattoo was botched, though y'all are the first people I've ever admitted that too.

ETA: I guess that's actually two confessions in one. I have a tattoo in a language I do not speak or read. I do know it's correct, though because the guy I was dating at the time was Egyptian and was there when I picked it out.

Oh and confession #3: said tattoo was acquired in a nail shop. I also had my nose pierced there. I still go there for pedicures.

amykins1283 · May 2013

mbenit4:
amykins1283:
My kid watches more TV and movies than he should and I don't feel bad about it. We go out and do tons of stuff like the park, indoor play gyms, visiting the zoo, museums, classes, etc. and make use of the backyard every day but when we are indoors he likes to watch something while he plays. I figure as long as he isn't totally sedentary while watching and we do other stuff together it isn't a horrible thing. He's learned a lot from watching Super Why and Leapfrog videos, too, so there's that.

I don't see anything wrong with this.

Thanks. I have some mom friends who don't let their kids watch more than a half hour or an hour of TV a day and it's probably on for my kid for about 3 hours a day. I know that some people would give me the side eye for that but he doesn't seem to be negatively affected so whatever.

missyishere · May 2013

acaudill75:
Kitiara5512:

FFFC: I waited tables at a strip club for less than a week when I was 22, but they kept pressuring me to strip so I called in with a twisted ankle and never went back. The place sucked too, I love going to strip clubs with H but we would never patronize that place.

If DDs hadn't left my chesticles looking like pancakes, I would totally strip. I love my body. I didn't always. I don't think I would go to nude beaches. Laying around naked in public isn't appealing, but dancing all sexy-like? I'd do it. Especially if I got paid well to do so.

But it would have to be a klassy joint.

We can start our own club together. International House of Pancake Tits.

littlestjerry · May 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
AuburnGirlSC:
Little Jerry:
I can see how it might sting, but just don't open the post. I feel bad for the well-meaning idiots who are just excited to be pregnant and then end up decapitated on the side of the board.

The problem I have with it is that I don't think it's really rooted in hurt feelings over the BFP, but in feeling like part of the in-crowd. That's how all the "rules" feel. It's like Mean Girls.

This is a great description of what happens. I feel sorry for them.
*enjoys being lumped in with everyone else*
FTR: While there can be some pretty nasty pile-ons, the tone of the board has changed over the past few months. There is still snark, but it's become a lot calmer over there.

I don't doubt you, I just haven't lurked there in like a year.

Kitiara5512 · May 2013

acaudill75:
Kitiara5512:

FFFC: I waited tables at a strip club for less than a week when I was 22, but they kept pressuring me to strip so I called in with a twisted ankle and never went back. The place sucked too, I love going to strip clubs with H but we would never patronize that place.

If DDs hadn't left my chesticles looking like pancakes, I would totally strip. I love my body. I didn't always. I don't think I would go to nude beaches. Laying around naked in public isn't appealing, but dancing all sexy-like? I'd do it. Especially if I got paid well to do so.

But it would have to be a klassy joint.

I was a whole 175 lbs at the time. Aint nobody wanna see that.

The strippers would be doing coke and smoking joints out in the parking lot too, and several would be drunk by the end of the night.

acaudill75 · May 2013

missyishere:
acaudill75:
Kitiara5512:

FFFC: I waited tables at a strip club for less than a week when I was 22, but they kept pressuring me to strip so I called in with a twisted ankle and never went back. The place sucked too, I love going to strip clubs with H but we would never patronize that place.

If DDs hadn't left my chesticles looking like pancakes, I would totally strip. I love my body. I didn't always. I don't think I would go to nude beaches. Laying around naked in public isn't appealing, but dancing all sexy-like? I'd do it. Especially if I got paid well to do so.

But it would have to be a klassy joint.

We can start our own club together. International House of Pancake Tits.

Maybe we can use our tip money to get new ones???

acaudill75 · May 2013

andrea99:
missyishere:
acaudill75:
Kitiara5512:

FFFC: I waited tables at a strip club for less than a week when I was 22, but they kept pressuring me to strip so I called in with a twisted ankle and never went back. The place sucked too, I love going to strip clubs with H but we would never patronize that place.

If DDs hadn't left my chesticles looking like pancakes, I would totally strip. I love my body. I didn't always. I don't think I would go to nude beaches. Laying around naked in public isn't appealing, but dancing all sexy-like? I'd do it. Especially if I got paid well to do so.

But it would have to be a klassy joint.

We can start our own club together. International House of Pancake Tits.
Can I be your token redhead? I think stripping would be fun. But I dance like a blind white girl. Who will blind you with her whiteness.

Sure. My eyes will be all bruised up from getting smacked in the face by my boobies. Helps to mitigate white blindnesses.

LaurelBee · May 2013

MrsGoodkat:
CTGirl30:
DD started PTing at daycare and she is slowly making progress with actually going on the potty (instead of crying and refusing). Yesterday she had her best day yet - all pees in the potty all day long and NO accidents! Of course, when we got home, she peed her pants and has been generally stubborn about sitting on the potty at home.
I am terrified that this will turn into the same scenario as naps - awesome at daycare but can be a struggle here at home. I feel like we can't do anything as well as daycare can when it comes to the Big Stuff - naps and now potty training.
I am also 3-4 weeks from delivering my 2nd baby and just worn the f'uck out so the thought of tackling this new challenge at home is daunting to me. I need to woman up and really be as dedicated as daycare has been with it, though. This is important.
The idea of PTing while having a newborn sounds like a personal hell to me. I don't blame you for feeling the pressure to get it done now. Would you have started it now with her if not for daycare working on it?

We potty trainedDs when Dd was 10w old. We tried right after she was born while Dh was on paternity leave. It didn't go well. We waited a month or two and then it was a piece of cake!

Ididn't try to Pt before Dd was born Bc I've had a few friends warn about regression. I didn't want to have to Pt twice GL!

RondackHiker · May 2013

Holls2011:
I think if I had the chance to have a sugar daddy in my life when I was younger and single, I would do it.nbsp;

I had the chance, but didn't take it. I regret it occasionally.

ReeseFox · May 2013

mbenit4:
Onederful Mother:

I just confessed this in another thread, but I cook three separate meals each night. One for me, one for my picky husband and one for my picky toddler. 

You are a saint.

I agree. My family is lucky they get one meal out of me. Some nights I say eff it and just feed the baby and make everyone else fend for themselves.

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