FFFC

MrsGoodkat · May 2013

CTGirl30:
DD started PTing at daycare and she is slowly making progress with actually going on the potty (instead of crying and refusing). Yesterday she had her best day yet - all pees in the potty all day long and NO accidents! Of course, when we got home, she peed her pants and has been generally stubborn about sitting on the potty at home.
I am terrified that this will turn into the same scenario as naps - awesome at daycare but can be a struggle here at home. I feel like we can't do anything as well as daycare can when it comes to the Big Stuff - naps and now potty training.
I am also 3-4 weeks from delivering my 2nd baby and just worn the f'uck out so the thought of tackling this new challenge at home is daunting to me. I need to woman up and really be as dedicated as daycare has been with it, though. This is important.

The idea of PTing while having a newborn sounds like a personal hell to me. I don't blame you for feeling the pressure to get it done now. Would you have started it now with her if not for daycare working on it?

missyishere · May 2013

acaudill75:
missyishere:
acaudill75:
krptcmschfmkr128:

Bahaha it was obviously a "nice" cab. They called it a cab, but it was probably more like a driving service.  She sucks at masturbation, though.

Is it even possible to be bad at masturbation? I'm really good at it, and I was self taught.

What's the variable between good and bad masturbation? I guess I don't watch a lot of porn, and I don't really grade myself.

I was being tongue in cheek, but I get the job done. That's good in my book.

Lol, right?! I meant to just quote krpt128, but yes, the end result is always a win in my book.

KJmashup · May 2013

emkatrine:
KJmashup:
"Sammich" also raises my blood pressure.
I'm sorry.

You better be.

jorkz821 · May 2013

HilarityEnsued:
jorkz821:
Whenever people talk about Jorts on here, I do a double take, thinking they're talking about me. Reading fail.
Whenever I read your name I immediately read "jorts" and then have to re-read.

maybe I should change my SN again. Keep up with the times and all. Jorts821?

Helenahhandbasket · May 2013

I hate seeing ladies put on a full face of makeup in public. There are several women on my train that do this every morning, and it just seems wrong.

Now, I am not talking about touching up lipstick or maybe quickly dusting your face with powder-- I mean the full thing.

This morning I sat across from a woman-- she was probably my age-- early 30s-- and she literally performed her entire grooming routine on the train.

She lotion-ed up her face, tweeze'd a few stray eyebrows, curled her eyelashes and then did a 20 minute makeup application, including a 5 minute session where she drew on, removed and then re- drew on her eyebrows.

I don't know, maybe I am a prude, but that just seems private to me? Like, can you leave a tiny bit of mystery about yourself?

I will say I was impressed by her applications skills on a rocking train car and she did look great after, but I was still sort of appalled.

gnomemom · May 2013

missyishere:
acaudill75:
krptcmschfmkr128:
HilarityEnsued:

krptcmschfmkr128:
Cab ride w/ masturbation.

This made me throw up in my mouth a little.  Mixing masturbation and the super sexy environment of a cab is just... no bueno.

Bahaha it was obviously a "nice" cab. They called it a cab, but it was probably more like a driving service.  She sucks at masturbation, though.

Is it even possible to be bad at masturbation? I'm really good at it, and I was self taught.

What's the variable between good and bad masturbation? I guess I don't watch a lot of porn, and I don't really grade myself.

It's pretty much graded on a Pass or Fail basis.

Helenahhandbasket · May 2013

pghmortdoll:
I guess this is my fffc My supervisor and fellow funeral director resigned with basically no notice Monday. That leaves 3 directors and we have handled arrangements for over 35 deceased already in May. I went on an interview Wednesday after finding out about a job opportunity and I got it. I am resigning today. That leaves two funeral directors. The job needs me to start asap and I can only give two weeks notice. I would have liked to give more. I feel terrible leaving when we are already in such bad shape. But the new job is the best of the best health and dental insurance and almost double what I make now. I couldn't say no. I am terrified of walking into work this morning.

Wow-- you are a funeral director? I am fascinated!

But-- I get it and congrats on the new job!

MrsGoodkat · May 2013

AF is wreaking havoc on me this week. I have to poop majorly but can't. Every now and then I pass some foul gas which gives me relief for about 5 minutes but geesh, it's brutal.

Also, I looked such a hot mess when I went grocery shopping yesterday between being sick and bloated/crampy that the SAHMS and probably half of these board would have definitely judged me. I judged myself.

missyishere · May 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:

Haha I responded quoting Acaudill originally, but she kept stopping and getting all embarrassed. Chick just took a diick up the butt, and she's embarrassed over masturbation?

Did you see her on the original 16 and Pregnant? She was all worried and apologetic the hospital staff had to look at her vagina, now she's taking it up the what what for a Mill.

LollyLawlz · May 2013

acaudill75:

My cat likes to eat way too fast and then throw it all up. Last night, he decided to purge himself of entire can of Fancy Feast under the table while DDs were getting dinner. I let DH's dog eat it because he got there first and I didn't feel like cleaning it all up.

I did, however, clean the area after he was done.

Edited so as to not offend anyone (unless you are offended by puke).

My cat does the exact same thing. I'm 100% sure he isn't bulimic though.

littlestjerry · May 2013

CTGirl30:
KJmashup:
robinsokj:
HilarityEnsued:
EllaHella:

It was all I could do to not be a bish at Starbucks today. I was hangry and they were really really dumb.

I gave up and went next door to Subway. Why haven't I been skipping shittzy coffee and nasty breakfast pastries and done this before?

That isn't really a confession..

Did you have one of those subway breakfast sammies? They aren't awful. My only gripe was that I smelled like Subway for the remainder of the day.

I personally am a sucker for Dunkin Donuts breakfast sammies. Especially now that the egg they use is a real egg and not egg beaters. Takes me back to high school.

The word sammie is making me twitchy

"Sammich" also raises my blood pressure.

Same. It reminds me of Rachel Ray - doesn't she call them "sammies"?

I hate cutesified terms for regular words. This includes referring to disposable diapers as "sposies". ::shudder::

Rachel Ray says so much annoying shiit. She calls her husband "my sweetie." Ugh and stoup ("thicker than a soup, but not as thick as a stew!"). She seems nice enough, but living with her would put me in the nuthouse, I think.

acaudill75 · May 2013

CTGirl30:

DD started PTing at daycare and she is slowly making progress with actually going on the potty (instead of crying and refusing). Yesterday she had her best day yet - all pees in the potty all day long and NO accidents! Of course, when we got home, she peed her pants and has been generally stubborn about sitting on the potty at home.

I am terrified that this will turn into the same scenario as naps - awesome at daycare but can be a struggle here at home. I feel like we can't do anything as well as daycare can when it comes to the Big Stuff - naps and now potty training.

I am also 3-4 weeks from delivering my 2nd baby and just worn the f'uck out so the thought of tackling this new challenge at home is daunting to me. I need to woman up and really be as dedicated as daycare has been with it, though. This is important.

Don't kill yourself. A lot of times LOs who are PTing when a new baby is born regress. It happened with DD1. We weren't hardcoring pushing PT, but she was doing it on her own. Once DD2 was born, she refused for about 8 months more to PT. I would have loved 8 months worth of diaper money still in my pocket. She was the same age as your LO when DD2 was born

Libby1978 · May 2013

Onederful Mother:
For those of you who didn't already know, I'm twatley. I'm going to post here under this name. Earlier this week I signed in under twatley so I could shout profanity at the SAHMs without risking this name being banned. (I actually didn't shout profanity at them)
Anywho. I like this name better because it doesn't sound so cunty. So yeah. Hi.

I'm just glad you are posting here again.

Libby1978 · May 2013

News Flash: Teenage boys are a'ssholes too. Just in a different way.

You're Welcome!

littlestjerry · May 2013

emkatrine:
Little Jerry:

Rachel Ray says so much annoying shiit. She calls her husband "my sweetie." Ugh and stoup ("thicker than a soup, but not as thick as a stew!"). She seems nice enough, but living with her would put me in the nuthouse, I think.

I don't know if they use those words so we remember them and talk about them or what. Giada is another one. No one says mozzarella like that. NO ONE!!!

OMG, I know. It's like perfectly American sounding English for the whole show and then "mozzarella" like the Italian-est Italian that ever lived!

acaudill75 · May 2013

MrsGoodkat:

AF is wreaking havoc on me this week. I have to poop majorly but can't. Every now and then I pass some foul gas which gives me relief for about 5 minutes but geesh, it's brutal.

Also, I looked such a hot mess when I went grocery shopping yesterday between being sick and bloated/crampy that the SAHMS and probably half of these board would have definitely judged me. I judged myself.

Fleet Enema, if you have 30 minutes to yourself.

acaudill75 · May 2013

missyishere:
krptcmschfmkr128:
Haha I responded quoting Acaudill originally, but she kept stopping and getting all embarrassed. Chick just took a diick up the butt, and she's embarrassed over masturbation?
Did you see her on the original 16 and Pregnant? She was all worried and apologetic the hospital staff had to look at her vagina, now she's taking it up the what what for a Mill.

If DH offered me a mill, I would take it there. I might even do it for 30 minutes more sleep. It wouldn't be televised.

acaudill75 · May 2013

LollyLawlz:
acaudill75:

My cat likes to eat way too fast and then throw it all up. Last night, he decided to purge himself of entire can of Fancy Feast under the table while DDs were getting dinner. I let DH's dog eat it because he got there first and I didn't feel like cleaning it all up.

I did, however, clean the area after he was done.

Edited so as to not offend anyone (unless you are offended by puke).

My cat does the exact same thing. I'm 100% sure he isn't bulimic though.

LAWDAMERCY!! Personal question: Do you shave your kitty? He looks shaved.

RondackHiker · May 2013

acaudill75:
LollyLawlz:
acaudill75:

My cat likes to eat way too fast and then throw it all up. Last night, he decided to purge himself of entire can of Fancy Feast under the table while DDs were getting dinner. I let DH's dog eat it because he got there first and I didn't feel like cleaning it all up.

I did, however, clean the area after he was done.

Edited so as to not offend anyone (unless you are offended by puke).

My cat does the exact same thing.  I'm 100% sure he isn't bulimic though.

 

LAWDAMERCY!! Personal question: Do you shave your kitty? He looks shaved.

Yes, lolly. Do you shave your p.ussy?

NotSharknado · May 2013

HilarityEnsued:
EllaHella:
HilarityEnsued:
emkatrine:
I don't know if they use those words so we remember them and talk about them or what. Giada is another one. No one says mozzarella like that.  NO ONE!!!
Ohh... you mean moot-sa-rell?  I could rant about Giada for an hour.
Oh yea.  It's very AWish.  Look at me, I can totes speak Italian.
STFU and make me a sammie with mootsarella.
And a little side of mary-nar sauce for dipping.

And a pizza pie. I said that in an Italian accent.

bearfootz · May 2013

MrsGoodkat:

AF is wreaking havoc on me this week. I have to poop majorly but can't. Every now and then I pass some foul gas which gives me relief for about 5 minutes but geesh, it's brutal.

Also, I looked such a hot mess when I went grocery shopping yesterday between being sick and bloated/crampy that the SAHMS and probably half of these board would have definitely judged me. I judged myself.

You are not alone in this struggle. I went from earlier this week when I couldn't stop going to AF arriving yesterday and my insides inflating like a balloon that I just won't pop - or that lets air escape at very inappropriate moments.

I actually had to leave my girls night early last night because between my stupid shoulder and my gas bubbles I was ball of pain.

Libby1978 · May 2013

My confession: I've been waking Oliver up at midnight to pee for the last 3 nights to avoid the bedwetting. It takes like 2 minutes, which is way less time than it was taking to change sheets & clothes, and he pretty much stays halfway asleep through it.

Libby1978 · May 2013

HilarityEnsued:
Libby1978:
My confession: I've been waking Oliver up at midnight to pee for the last 3 nights to avoid the bedwetting. It takes like 2 minutes, which is way less time than it was taking to change sheets & clothes, and he pretty much stays halfway asleep through it.
Is this flameful? I haven't even thought about the whole Potty Training Beast situation... but I would assume nighttime is much harder than daytime.
As it stands, DS' diaper is like 6 pounds heavy in the morning. I have no idea how you get them to not pee overnight.

Well, Oliver was not peeing at night for over 6 months and suddenly for the last 2 weeks he has been. So, I don't feel like I can go back to pull-ups at this point. I'm thinking he might be going through a growth spurt or something and sleeping more soundly. Anyway, I didn't think it was flameful, but when I posted earlier this week about it someone commented whether the pedi had approved my plan and said I shouldn't disrupt his sleep to avoid laundry.

colliebabe · May 2013

missyishere:
Speaking of our girls... After watching SD in her dance recital last weekend, I've decided I kind of hope DD has little interest in dance. Maybe tumbling, but the other stuff I could do without. Between the very questionable costumes, the horrible and fairly inappropriate song choices, and the bitchy director, I am crossing fingers it's not her thing.

Did you have to stand in line at 5 am to get tickets to the recital? A friend of mine who has a 5 year old was just telling me that she couldn't come to our group fitness class on Sunday because she had to go stand in line for tickets for the recital. So that, plus the stuff you mentioned, makes me hope she doesn't want to do dance either.

I could get behind cheering or gymnastics though.

acaudill75 · May 2013

Libby1978:
HilarityEnsued:

Libby1978:
My confession: I've been waking Oliver up at midnight to pee for the last 3 nights to avoid the bedwetting. It takes like 2 minutes, which is way less time than it was taking to change sheets & clothes, and he pretty much stays halfway asleep through it.

Is this flameful? I haven't even thought about the whole Potty Training Beast situation... but I would assume nighttime is much harder than daytime.

As it stands, DS' diaper is like 6 pounds heavy in the morning. I have no idea how you get them to not pee overnight.

Well, Oliver was not peeing at night for over 6 months and suddenly for the last 2 weeks he has been. So, I don't feel like I can go back to pull-ups at this point. I'm thinking he might be going through a growth spurt or something and sleeping more soundly. Anyway, I didn't think it was flameful, but when I posted earlier this week about it someone commented whether the pedi had approved my plan and said I shouldn't disrupt his sleep to avoid laundry.

Why am I not surprised someone said this? Sleeping w/out a diaper is overrated. DD1 wakes up TWO HOURS EARLIER now screaming she has to go pee pee, when before she would just pee in her pull up and we all slept better.

aforst · May 2013

mbenit4:
robinsokj:
I guess my confession is that I call my cat bulimic all the time. If my animals are acting nuts I call them schitzo. I will continue to do so

This.

I really sat here and thought about this and I just don't get it. If I say my cat is acting schizophrenic, I just don't see how that is making fun of schizophrenics or making light of the illness? I work with mental people all day so I might tell my coworker this because she knows what I mean.

I don't know.

I know all the things being said are true. I know I'll love her the instant I see her just like I did my boys. It's just so hard to get my brain around b/c all I know is boys.

LollyLawlz · May 2013

RondackHiker:
acaudill75:
LollyLawlz:
acaudill75:

My cat likes to eat way too fast and then throw it all up. Last night, he decided to purge himself of entire can of Fancy Feast under the table while DDs were getting dinner. I let DH's dog eat it because he got there first and I didn't feel like cleaning it all up.

I did, however, clean the area after he was done.

Edited so as to not offend anyone (unless you are offended by puke).

My cat does the exact same thing. I'm 100% sure he isn't bulimic though.

LAWDAMERCY!! Personal question: Do you shave your kitty? He looks shaved.
Yes, lolly. Do you shave your p.ussy?

HAHA nope! Maybe his fur just rubbed off his belly because it drags on the floor so much?

RondackHiker · May 2013

mbenit4:
I guess that is my cue to leave.

What? I am confused.

RondackHiker · May 2013

Everyone needs to break out new confessions. Shake this up.

Anyone Netflix cheating?

Anyone fail to return shopping carts lately?

RondackHiker · May 2013

I'll confess I got a little butt hurt about the frog killing jokes on SAHM. I realize that's ridiculous. But I really do care about frogs and felt awkward it was a joke for everyone else. It's okay. My big girl panties are on now.

Another confession: I'm scared of the TTGP board. I've heard people say the ladies there are nice, but I've also seen massive flamings for announcing a BFP too soon or something like that. It scares me and I don't want to upset anyone so I stay here.

A third confession: a friend's husband gives me the creeps. I mean, he's a nice guy and I care about him, but I feel uncomfortable and tense around him at the same time. I feel bad bc I am sure he'd be hurt that I don't trust him, but something about him makes me jumpy.

RondackHiker · May 2013

Scout2005:
Mine are all lame, and in the "I ate unhealthy food, ZOMG, and let DD watch THREE ELMO EPISODES IN A ROW, shock."I lead a very boring life.nbsp; eta: I totally verbally eviscerated some jerkhole at Target who called my TWO YEAR old a brat because she was melting down in line at checkout. Normally I just ignore, but I'd had it. nbsp; Does cursing at a stranger in line at Target for being mean to my kid count as a FFFC?

If it does, I need to confess I want to give you a high five.

Libby1978 · May 2013

Scout2005:
Mine are all lame, and in the "I ate unhealthy food, ZOMG, and let DD watch THREE ELMO EPISODES IN A ROW, shock."
I lead a very boring life.
eta: I totally verbally eviscerated some jerkhole at Target who called my TWO YEAR old a brat because she was melting down in line at checkout. Normally I just ignore, but I'd had it.
Does cursing at a stranger in line at Target for being mean to my kid count as a FFFC?

No, it counts as pure awesomeness

littlestjerry · May 2013

RondackHiker:

Another confession: I'm scared of the TTGP board. I've heard people say the ladies there are nice, but I've also seen massive flamings for announcing a BFP too soon or something like that. It scares me and I don't want to upset anyone so I stay here.

That board needs to be the subject of an anthropological study. There's so many "rules," and the crucifixion that occurs when someone doesn't follow one of them is cringeworthy.

The whole drive-by thing is insane. Just...don't read it or respond...

ReeseFox · May 2013

RondackHiker:
Everyone needs to break out new confessions. Shake this up.

I once slept with a married man for money.

RondackHiker · May 2013

Little Jerry:
RondackHiker:

Another confession: I'm scared of the TTGP board. I've heard people say the ladies there are nice, but I've also seen massive flamings for announcing a BFP too soon or something like that. It scares me and I don't want to upset anyone so I stay here.

That board needs to be the subject of an anthropological study. There's so many "rules," and the crucifixion that occurs when someone doesn't follow one of them is cringeworthy.

The whole drive-by thing is insane. Just...don't read it or respond...

The rules are what scare me. I think one is to hang around and post for a few months before you announce a BFP. We've been trying six months now, so if I start posting and get a BFP in a week, do I get flamed? Or no?

I know you're not supposed to complain about not being pregnant unless you've been trying years, right? I think that's how it is.

The rules scare me.

stoneycakes · May 2013

Scout2005:
Mine are all lame, and in the "I ate unhealthy food, ZOMG, and let DD watch THREE ELMO EPISODES IN A ROW, shock."
I lead a very boring life.
eta: I totally verbally eviscerated some jerkhole at Target who called my TWO YEAR old a brat because she was melting down in line at checkout. Normally I just ignore, but I'd had it.
Does cursing at a stranger in line at Target for being mean to my kid count as a FFFC?

Wow! I would probably do the same thing. What did you say to him?

RondackHiker · May 2013

ReeseFox:
RondackHiker:
Everyone needs to break out new confessions. Shake this up.
I once slept with a married man for money. 

Way to step it up.

When was this? How old we're you? How much? What was involved? Is he still married? How'd you meet him?

acaudill75 · May 2013

Scout2005:

Mine are all lame, and in the "I ate unhealthy food, ZOMG, and let DD watch THREE ELMO EPISODES IN A ROW, shock."

I lead a very boring life.

eta: I totally verbally eviscerated some jerkhole at Target who called my TWO YEAR old a brat because she was melting down in line at checkout. Normally I just ignore, but I'd had it.

Does cursing at a stranger in line at Target for being mean to my kid count as a FFFC?

DD1 had a fever of 103 Monday. I made an appt for 4:15 at the docs got there at 4:05. At 4:45 asked if it was going to be much longer. I had a 14 month old wanting dinner and a 3 yr old laying in my lap crying, after me working all day. The snot behind the desk told me I was next. Ten patients later at 5:15 I asked how much longer, and she said one more new patient before me. I lost it. I told her I was an old patient and how about treating us like a valued patient, and not telling me I am next and then taking 10 (!) more people before me. I also mentioned that DD was burning up in my lap, and she said "Ma'am, all the kids are sick today!" My response, "But not all the receptionist are going to be swallowing their teeth." Well that didn't go over well. We finally left the docs at 6:05.

FFFC: I'm a when my kid isn't feeling well.

ReeseFox · May 2013

RondackHiker:
ReeseFox:
RondackHiker:
Everyone needs to break out new confessions. Shake this up.
I once slept with a married man for money.
Way to step it up. When was this? How old we're you? How much? What was involved? Is he still married? How'd you meet him?

I've been debating pulling that one out for awhile.

This was about 9 or 10 years ago, so I was about 22. I met him slugging (ridesharing) home from work. I don't remember how it even came up, but he propositioned me and I told him I would think about it. I was young with a baby to support, and $500 was more than I made in a week, so I called him the next day to set it up. I haven't seen him since but I still feel guilty about it everyday.

SoDoMojo · May 2013

I haven't gotten past the OP... my boy cat does the binge and purge bit on my carpet all the time. I totally let the other cat eat it if she finds it first. Cats are gross.

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