I just wouldn't stand by and fake smile while my sister most likely, makes the biggest mistake of her life.
.
...or the best decision. The point is, you don't know. And neither does the OP, or her sister. But she is an adult. She gets to make that choice and accept the consequences. I'm sure not every choice you've ever made was the best one.
I can't believe there are so many people here who would behave like children having temper tantrums over this. And think that somehow that is acceptable behavior.
I don't know why you think it's so much better to just lie and pretend that it's totally normal to marry someone after knowing them for a month.
You must have missed the part where I said she should express her concerns in a loving way.
I also must have missed the part where she threw a tantrum.
I was talking about you, dear. You implied that you would behave like a child if this was your sister. Because, you know, you wouldn't stand by and fake smile. You would throw a fit because she wasn't doing what you thought was best.
I don't know why you think it's so much better to just lie and pretend that it's totally normal to marry someone after knowing them for a month.
You must have missed the part where I said she should express her concerns in a loving way.
I also must have missed the part where she threw a tantrum.
I was talking about you, dear. You implied that you would behave like a child if this was your sister. Because, you know, you wouldn't stand by and fake smile. You would throw a fit because she wasn't doing what you thought was best.
How did you get me throwing a tantrum from me not fake smiling? I don't know how you come up with these things. I think you should just realize that you were wrong for making the OP feel unreasonable and move on. I'm pretty sure anyone with a close family would react the way she did.
I just wouldn't stand by and fake smile while my sister most likely, makes the biggest mistake of her life.
Except no one told her to do that, so stop making shiit up. If he's making comments on FB, then she has clearly expressed her concern. That needed to be said once with reassurance that while you disagree with her choice, you will be there for her no matter how this works out.
I do not get that vibe at all. I get the imprression that she is telling her sister that this is a terrible idea every chance she gets.
Obviously no one literally told her to throw on a fake smile, what I meant was, by pretending that your okay with her decision, that's essentially what you would be doing. (Which is what PP suggested she do, if you need me to copy and paste it I will)
You obviously have a very different experience than I do when it comes to family. I just don't think the OP was being unreasonable for reacting the way she did, and you called her a *** for it.
I just can't imagine my sister telling me she's getting married to a man that no one in our family has ever met, after being with him for a month. Of course the appropriate response is to politely tell her once that you disagree with her choice and leave it at that, but in the real world, that's not how most people would react or deal with the situation and I don't think that is unreasonable.
It's quite clear that you do not have a close sister so stop talking out of your asss as if you know how the OP feels.
Just wanted to say again thank you to everyone for sharing your experiences and opinions. We are working through it together and I know we will be fine. Do I agree with her decision.. no. Do I trust this guy? Definitely not. We have a long way to go before I'm there, but that's how I am, it takes me awhile to trust ANYONE'S intentions. Will I be nice and polite to this guy? Absolutely. I'm not a rude or mean person. I will obviously have to get to know him to ever trust him, so I am definitely going to make the effort, despite his lame facebook posts.
She wants acceptance, and I can give her acceptance, even if I don't agree. If it doesn't work out for her, I would never say "I told you so." Our relationship isn't like that.
Thank you all again.
At some point are you going to realize that you really are making this all about you and your issues?
I keep trying to be done with this and you keep coming back for more, to take more little jabs at me. I really don't see how me or ANYONE who cares about a close family member not immediately trusting a guy she just started seeing is an issue. I'm not going to keep arguing with you about it. You stated your opinion and I accepted it, like I just said above I was accepting her decision. Just because I'm not going to trust the guy right out of the gate, especially since he decided to talk sh!t about me on facebook, doesn't mean I have issues. I think that's pretty damn normal, actually.
Just wanted to say again thank you to everyone for sharing your experiences and opinions. We are working through it together and I know we will be fine. Do I agree with her decision.. no. Do I trust this guy? Definitely not. We have a long way to go before I'm there, but that's how I am, it takes me awhile to trust ANYONE'S intentions. Will I be nice and polite to this guy? Absolutely. I'm not a rude or mean person. I will obviously have to get to know him to ever trust him, so I am definitely going to make the effort, despite his lame facebook posts.
She wants acceptance, and I can give her acceptance, even if I don't agree. If it doesn't work out for her, I would never say "I told you so." Our relationship isn't like that.
Thank you all again.
At some point are you going to realize that you really are making this all about you and your issues?
I keep trying to be done with this and you keep coming back for more, to take more little jabs at me. I really don't see how me or ANYONE who cares about a close family member not immediately trusting a guy she just started seeing is an issue. I'm not going to keep arguing with you about it. You stated your opinion and I accepted it, like I just said above I was accepting her decision. Just because I'm not going to trust the guy right out of the gate, especially since he decided to talk sh!t about me on facebook, doesn't mean I have issues. I think that's pretty damn normal, actually.
So coming into this a little bit later but? I was active duty AF when I met and married my husband, also AD AF. We were married within 5 months of meeting. We hadn't met each other's families. I can only guess that some members of our family had reservations. But you know what? They kept it quiet because we were both consenting adults. So my advice is suck it up.
Oh and also if the relationship or marriage does fall through, don't be a smug "I told you so" kind of chick.
How did you get me throwing a tantrum from me not fake smiling? I don't know how you come up with these things. I think you should just realize that you were wrong for making the OP feel unreasonable and move on. I'm pretty sure anyone with a close family would react the way she did.
You're a piece of work, sweetheart. I think you need to go back and read what I actually wrote. Because you're pulling sh*t out of your a$$ now to try to defend your opinion. You are 100% absolutely, totally incorrect about what I said in this thread. I think you need to step away before you continue to show how inept you are at reading.
So coming into this a little bit later but? I was active duty AF when I met and married my husband, also AD AF. We were married within 5 months of meeting. We hadn't met each other's families. I can only guess that some members of our family had reservations. But you know what? They kept it quiet because we were both consenting adults. So my advice is suck it up.
Oh and also if the relationship or marriage does fall through, don't be a smug "I told you so" kind of chick.
No no no. They biitched at you constantly because that's what happens in the real world and you totes changed your minds.
Ugh! I better go tell my husband that I'm unhappy and that we jumped into this too quickly because some internet stranger says so. Oh and I guess we should stop trying for another kid too huh?
I just wouldn't stand by and fake smile while my sister most likely, makes the biggest mistake of her life.
Except no one told her to do that, so stop making shiit up. If he's making comments on FB, then she has clearly expressed her concern. That needed to be said once with reassurance that while you disagree with her choice, you will be there for her no matter how this works out.
I do not get that vibe at all. I get the imprression that she is telling her sister that this is a terrible idea every chance she gets.
Obviously no one literally told her to throw on a fake smile, what I meant was, by pretending that your okay with her decision, that's essentially what you would be doing. (Which is what PP suggested she do, if you need me to copy and paste it I will)
You obviously have a very different experience than I do when it comes to family. I just don't think the OP was being unreasonable for reacting the way she did, and you called her a *** for it.
I just can't imagine my sister telling me she's getting married to a man that no one in our family has ever met, after being with him for a month. Of course the appropriate response is to politely tell her once that you disagree with her choice and leave it at that, but in the real world, that's not how most people would react or deal with the situation and I don't think that is unreasonable.
It's quite clear that you do not have a close sister so stop talking out of your asss as if you know how the OP feels.
Go eat shiit you worthless biitch.
Umm wow what RocknRoll? My family is STUPID tight and didn't act the way OP is. I'm very close with my younger brother (a Marine) and didn't bat an eye when he got married, after 3 months at 20 years old. Did I agree? No. Did I care? Bet your a** I did. GTFOY before you start making judgements on other people's family dynamics.
Of course the appropriate response is to politely tell her once that you disagree with her choice and leave it at that, but in the real world, that's not how most people would react or deal with the situation and I don't think that is unreasonable.
Actually, that does make it unreasonable. And childish. Like having a temper tantrum. I rest my case.
Can someone fill me in on when peanut+muse went full-on ragemonster? I seriously had no idea this happened
It happens every once in a while. I'm sure others will agree with that. Just not every single post. You've probably just missed the posts when it happens.
And the answer to your question is probably post-miscarriage. I became a little bit angrier then.
So coming into this a little bit later but? I was active duty AF when I met and married my husband, also AD AF. We were married within 5 months of meeting. We hadn't met each other's families. I can only guess that some members of our family had reservations. But you know what? They kept it quiet because we were both consenting adults. So my advice is suck it up.
Oh and also if the relationship or marriage does fall through, don't be a smug "I told you so" kind of chick.
No no no. They biitched at you constantly because that's what happens in the real world and you totes changed your minds.
Ugh! I better go tell my husband that I'm unhappy and that we jumped into this too quickly because some internet stranger says so. Oh and I guess we should stop trying for another kid too huh?
What the hell are you talking about? Are you for real?
I just wouldn't stand by and fake smile while my sister most likely, makes the biggest mistake of her life.
Except no one told her to do that, so stop making shiit up. If he's making comments on FB, then she has clearly expressed her concern. That needed to be said once with reassurance that while you disagree with her choice, you will be there for her no matter how this works out.
I do not get that vibe at all. I get the imprression that she is telling her sister that this is a terrible idea every chance she gets.
Obviously no one literally told her to throw on a fake smile, what I meant was, by pretending that your okay with her decision, that's essentially what you would be doing. (Which is what PP suggested she do, if you need me to copy and paste it I will)
You obviously have a very different experience than I do when it comes to family. I just don't think the OP was being unreasonable for reacting the way she did, and you called her a *** for it.
I just can't imagine my sister telling me she's getting married to a man that no one in our family has ever met, after being with him for a month. Of course the appropriate response is to politely tell her once that you disagree with her choice and leave it at that, but in the real world, that's not how most people would react or deal with the situation and I don't think that is unreasonable.
It's quite clear that you do not have a close sister so stop talking out of your asss as if you know how the OP feels.
Go eat shiit you worthless biitch.
You need to chill the eff out. Speaking of tantrums........
That's what I'm saying. I wasn't trying to start sh!t. Just wondering if my being concerned for my sister given her recent history of this type of thing was really that unreasonable. The general consensus is that it's not, though some think it is, which is fine.
I never told anyone that their marriage won't work out because they didn't know each other long or meet each other's families. I know a few people my parents' age who got married very quickly and they are very happy. My reasons for being concerned are unique to my family and my sister's situation. I'm not trying to generalize people who get married quickly or say that they made a mistake in their own timing. Obviously I would not know that and I hope that every marriage lasts.. divorce sucks, both my parents have been divorced twice.
GhostMonkey, I don't have a problem with your opinion of thinking I'm a brat. I put myself out there for this type of criticism by even posting this thread. But I do think your "Eat sh!t you worthless b!tch" comment was really out of line and it wasn't even directed at me. And I'm sure you don't care that I think that.. but dang. It seemed to escalate quickly. I don't want to scare any noobs into thinking we all talk like that all the time.
But I do think your "Eat sh!t you worthless b!tch" comment was really out of line and it wasn't even directed at me.
Hold on there, rocknroll's comment the precipitated the eat sh*t comment was the one that was out of line.
I don't think her assuming that you don't have a close sister was right or nice, but I don't think it warranted what GM said. But again, just my opinion. If I were an outsider (I still kind of am) and I looked at those two comments, to me GM's comment is much more severe.
But I do think your "Eat sh!t you worthless b!tch" comment was really out of line and it wasn't even directed at me.
Hold on there, rocknroll's comment the precipitated the eat sh*t comment was the one that was out of line.
Can you seriously learn how to write properly?
A typo. The comment that precipitated.... Does that make it better for you? Or do I need to explain further?
ETA: And you still haven't addressed your gross misunderstanding (and misrepresentation) of what I wrote in this thread. Pointing out a typo is not addressing your lack of understanding, FTR.
But I do think your "Eat sh!t you worthless b!tch" comment was really out of line and it wasn't even directed at me.
Hold on there, rocknroll's comment the precipitated the eat sh*t comment was the one that was out of line.
Can you seriously learn how to write properly? I can't believe you are getting mad at me for not understanding your posts.
Also are you saying that me assuming she doesn't have a close sister is worse than her telling me to eat *** and calling me a worthless ***?
ummmm what?
Ok. You are delusional. That explains a lot.
how is not having a close sister even offensive? okay fine GM I'm sorry for making assumptions about the relationship with your sister. jeebus you're sensitive.
But I do think your "Eat sh!t you worthless b!tch" comment was really out of line and it wasn't even directed at me.
Hold on there, rocknroll's comment the precipitated the eat sh*t comment was the one that was out of line.
Can you seriously learn how to write properly?
A typo. The comment that precipitated.... Does that make it better for you? Or do I need to explain further?
ETA: And you still haven't addressed your gross misunderstanding (and misrepresentation) of what I wrote in this thread. Pointing out a typo is not addressing your lack of understanding, FTR.
If you think that is the only thing wrong with your sentence than I can't help you.
That's what I'm saying. I wasn't trying to start sh!t. Just wondering if my being concerned for my sister given her recent history of this type of thing was really that unreasonable. The general consensus is that it's not, though some think it is, which is fine.
I never told anyone that their marriage won't work out because they didn't know each other long or meet each other's families. I know a few people my parents' age who got married very quickly and they are very happy. My reasons for being concerned are unique to my family and my sister's situation. I'm not trying to generalize people who get married quickly or say that they made a mistake in their own timing. Obviously I would not know that and I hope that every marriage lasts.. divorce sucks, both my parents have been divorced twice.
GhostMonkey, I don't have a problem with your opinion of thinking I'm a brat. I put myself out there for this type of criticism by even posting this thread. But I do think your "Eat sh!t you worthless b!tch" comment was really out of line and it wasn't even directed at me. And I'm sure you don't care that I think that.. but dang. It seemed to escalate quickly. I don't want to scare any noobs into thinking we all talk like that all the time.
Yes, because you are the only person in the world with divorced parents. No one else could possibly understand that. Nope. And since I was the younger sister in a situation like this once, maybe- maybe- you should heed a bit of what I am telling you. If it is to the point where comments are being made on his end, this clearly wasn't a one time "I'm going to say my piece and I will hold my peace after that". I disagree with her choice, but guess what- she is an adult and it's her choice to make. You are only going to damage your relationship with her more by continually harassing her into making the decision you want her to make when she has made it evident that is not the choice she wants to make. How often to you guilt trip her about not moving back?
My response was no more out of line than her comment to me. Telling someone they clearly have horrible relationships with their siblings because they wouldn't biitch at them for making decisions about their own lives isn't remotely out of line? Really? She should have just stuck to the cliche of "I feel sorry for your husband".
What does the bolded even mean or have to do with anything? I never said no one else knows what it's like to have divorced parents. I said divorce sucks therefore I do not wish it on anyone, whether they got married quickly or without meeting each other's families or not.
Did you not see the part where I said we were working it out, and I have accepted her decision? Where I said I WAS heeding what you and everyone else had to say?? I am not harassing her, because like you and everyone else said, it would damage our relationship and I don't want that. I don't even know where you got the idea that I'm badgering her... I told her how I felt last week, and then I expressed more concerns with her yesterday. So... twice. His posting anything on facebook indicates nothing about how many times I said anything.. might indicate more about his personality than anything. You're beating a dead horse with me. She and I are on our way to resolving my feelings about it and helping her plan what she wants to do. Because I do want to help her with whatever she decides on, and she does want/need the help. That's just how she is. She asks me to do her taxes for her every year, lol.
When did I ever say I guilt tripped her about not moving back?? Again, you're just taking little jabs at me that are unnecessary. She can live wherever the hell she wants. Like I said, I will just visit her as I have in the past. If anything, I'm happy for her to live somewhere far away because she joined the military to see the world, and only ended up going to Rapid City, SD, and Albuquerque, NM, which I think makes her sad sometimes.
I took rocknroll's comment to mean that you didn't have any sisters, but in rereading it I can see how you took it also. And that interpretation is rude, yes, but I still think your reply was incredibly severe.
So coming into this a little bit later but? I was active duty AF when I met and married my husband, also AD AF. We were married within 5 months of meeting. We hadn't met each other's families. I can only guess that some members of our family had reservations. But you know what? They kept it quiet because we were both consenting adults. So my advice is suck it up.
Oh and also if the relationship or marriage does fall through, don't be a smug "I told you so" kind of chick.
No no no. They biitched at you constantly because that's what happens in the real world and you totes changed your minds.
Ugh! I better go tell my husband that I'm unhappy and that we jumped into this too quickly because some internet stranger says so. Oh and I guess we should stop trying for another kid too huh?
What the hell are you talking about? Are you for real?
Sarcasm.
Repeat after me, SAR CASM.
I know it was sarcasm. It was still completely out to lunch.
When did I ever say I guilt tripped her about not moving back?? Again, you're just taking little jabs at me that are unnecessary. She can live wherever the hell she wants. Like I said, I will just visit her as I have in the past. If anything, I'm happy for her to live somewhere far away because she joined the military to see the world, and only ended up going to Rapid City, SD, and Albuquerque, NM, which I think makes her sad sometimes.
LMAO. You don't join the military to see the world. Everyone knows that.
Well, maybe that's how they roped her into it then, lol, because she wanted to travel. She also ended up in a career field that wasn't really conducive to overseas travel. She tried several times to get stationed anywhere overseas and it never worked out for her. I'm sure she doesn't regret joining though, as she now has a fiance that she loves.
But I do think your "Eat sh!t you worthless b!tch" comment was really out of line and it wasn't even directed at me.
Hold on there, rocknroll's comment the precipitated the eat sh*t comment was the one that was out of line.
Can you seriously learn how to write properly? I can't believe you are getting mad at me for not understanding your posts.
Also are you saying that me assuming she doesn't have a close sister is worse than her telling me to eat *** and calling me a worthless ***?
ummmm what?
*de-lurking*
Good lord, you are out of control. Maybe you made an assumption and there's more than GM is comfortable discussing and you seriously struck a nerve. This thread has spiraled out of control into one great pissing contest and it's sad. Granted you're not the only one guilty of spiraling it out of control but JFC.
Okay, back to my cave of lurking.
Fair enough. I just read this whole thread again and I probably should have toned it down. It wasn't a good comment, not sure how I got so wound up.
I just wouldn't stand by and fake smile while my sister most likely, makes the biggest mistake of her life.
Except no one told her to do that, so stop making shiit up. If he's making comments on FB, then she has clearly expressed her concern. That needed to be said once with reassurance that while you disagree with her choice, you will be there for her no matter how this works out.
I do not get that vibe at all. I get the imprression that she is telling her sister that this is a terrible idea every chance she gets.
Obviously no one literally told her to throw on a fake smile, what I meant was, by pretending that your okay with her decision, that's essentially what you would be doing. (Which is what PP suggested she do, if you need me to copy and paste it I will)
You obviously have a very different experience than I do when it comes to family. I just don't think the OP was being unreasonable for reacting the way she did, and you called her a *** for it.
I just can't imagine my sister telling me she's getting married to a man that no one in our family has ever met, after being with him for a month. Of course the appropriate response is to politely tell her once that you disagree with her choice and leave it at that, but in the real world, that's not how most people would react or deal with the situation and I don't think that is unreasonable.
It's quite clear that you do not have a close sister so stop talking out of your asss as if you know how the OP feels.
Go eat shiit you worthless biitch.
Wow. Telling someone to eat shiit and calling them a worthless biitch is pretty over the top just because you disagree with how she would handle the situation. What part of her response makes you feel the need to insult her like that?
I just wouldn't stand by and fake smile while my sister most likely, makes the biggest mistake of her life.
Except no one told her to do that, so stop making shiit up. If he's making comments on FB, then she has clearly expressed her concern. That needed to be said once with reassurance that while you disagree with her choice, you will be there for her no matter how this works out.
I do not get that vibe at all. I get the imprression that she is telling her sister that this is a terrible idea every chance she gets.
Obviously no one literally told her to throw on a fake smile, what I meant was, by pretending that your okay with her decision, that's essentially what you would be doing. (Which is what PP suggested she do, if you need me to copy and paste it I will)
You obviously have a very different experience than I do when it comes to family. I just don't think the OP was being unreasonable for reacting the way she did, and you called her a *** for it.
I just can't imagine my sister telling me she's getting married to a man that no one in our family has ever met, after being with him for a month. Of course the appropriate response is to politely tell her once that you disagree with her choice and leave it at that, but in the real world, that's not how most people would react or deal with the situation and I don't think that is unreasonable.
It's quite clear that you do not have a close sister so stop talking out of your asss as if you know how the OP feels.
Go eat shiit you worthless biitch.
Wow. Telling someone to eat shiit and calling them a worthless biitch is pretty over the top just because you disagree with how she would handle the situation. What part of her response makes you feel the need to insult her like that?
I just wouldn't stand by and fake smile while my sister most likely, makes the biggest mistake of her life.
Except no one told her to do that, so stop making shiit up. If he's making comments on FB, then she has clearly expressed her concern. That needed to be said once with reassurance that while you disagree with her choice, you will be there for her no matter how this works out.
I do not get that vibe at all. I get the imprression that she is telling her sister that this is a terrible idea every chance she gets.
Obviously no one literally told her to throw on a fake smile, what I meant was, by pretending that your okay with her decision, that's essentially what you would be doing. (Which is what PP suggested she do, if you need me to copy and paste it I will)
You obviously have a very different experience than I do when it comes to family. I just don't think the OP was being unreasonable for reacting the way she did, and you called her a *** for it.
I just can't imagine my sister telling me she's getting married to a man that no one in our family has ever met, after being with him for a month. Of course the appropriate response is to politely tell her once that you disagree with her choice and leave it at that, but in the real world, that's not how most people would react or deal with the situation and I don't think that is unreasonable.
It's quite clear that you do not have a close sister so stop talking out of your asss as if you know how the OP feels.
Go eat shiit you worthless biitch.
Wow. Telling someone to eat shiit and calling them a worthless biitch is pretty over the top just because you disagree with how she would handle the situation. What part of her response makes you feel the need to insult her like that?
Because she's GhostMonkey and thinks she's god. She pulls things out of thin air to rip on people about. She's a biitch to everyone on the board for no reason.
Ghostmonkey could punch a baby and nobody would care.
The weirdest part is that people actually think that the "close sister" comment was worse than the "worthless biitch" comment. WTF?
GM could kill a puppy and no one here would say sh!t to her. She does whatever she wants and acts like an ahole and gets away with it. Everyone says it is her "thing" but being a complete b!tch to people shouldn't be a "thing" people are okay with.
OP, I'm sorry this thread got so derailed. I feel like I have been in both of these positions from your situation here so I thought I would give you perspective.
Sometimes people just know. I started dating my husband in high school and just KNEW we were going to get married one day. Luckily he turned out to be a great guy and we both grew in the same directions. My parents and the rest of my family freaked when we got engaged at 18. I understand you think it's young and fast, but they're adults and they have to make their own mistakes. DH and I have been together for over 11 years now and I can honestly say dating/marrying him was the best decision I ever made.
On the other hand, I have a sister whom I am very close with and who lives with me. She makes a lot of decisions I don't agree with and think might be detrimental to her future. I sometimes will sit down with her and have a heart to heart, but to be honest, she is 19. And she doesn't think of the world the same way I thought of the world at her age. I have come to terms that we are different people and as close as we are, that will never mean she has to change to fit the mold of what I think she could be.
Finally, other than my siblings and my maternal grandparents, the rest of my family is BSC. I don't talk to anyone on my dad's side and haven't since I was 12. My husband literally knows nothing about that side of my family. That didn't make ME a bad person. You never know what is going on with your sister's fiance's family. It could betheir relationship is strained or nonexistent. That shouldn't change the love your sister has for her future husband and you shouldn't judge based on it either.
I just wouldn't stand by and fake smile while my sister most likely, makes the biggest mistake of her life.
Except no one told her to do that, so stop making shiit up. If he's making comments on FB, then she has clearly expressed her concern. That needed to be said once with reassurance that while you disagree with her choice, you will be there for her no matter how this works out.
I do not get that vibe at all. I get the imprression that she is telling her sister that this is a terrible idea every chance she gets.
Obviously no one literally told her to throw on a fake smile, what I meant was, by pretending that your okay with her decision, that's essentially what you would be doing. (Which is what PP suggested she do, if you need me to copy and paste it I will)
You obviously have a very different experience than I do when it comes to family. I just don't think the OP was being unreasonable for reacting the way she did, and you called her a *** for it.
I just can't imagine my sister telling me she's getting married to a man that no one in our family has ever met, after being with him for a month. Of course the appropriate response is to politely tell her once that you disagree with her choice and leave it at that, but in the real world, that's not how most people would react or deal with the situation and I don't think that is unreasonable.
It's quite clear that you do not have a close sister so stop talking out of your asss as if you know how the OP feels.
Go eat shiit you worthless biitch.
Wow. Telling someone to eat shiit and calling them a worthless biitch is pretty over the top just because you disagree with how she would handle the situation. What part of her response makes you feel the need to insult her like that?
Because she's GhostMonkey and thinks she's god. She pulls things out of thin air to rip on people about. She's a biitch to everyone on the board for no reason.
Ghostmonkey could punch a baby and nobody would care.
The weirdest part is that people actually think that the "close sister" comment was worse than the "worthless biitch" comment. WTF?
Seriously! The next time I am really mad at someone I am going to say well you don't have a close sister, that will really piss them off. Everyone knows that insult is way worse than eat shiit you worthless biitch. Amazing that anyone would defend that comment, to the kissers that did, you are wasting your time. You are still just one disagreement away from being called a worthless biitch yourselves. GM does not play favorites!
I just wouldn't stand by and fake smile while my sister most likely, makes the biggest mistake of her life.
Except no one told her to do that, so stop making shiit up. If he's making comments on FB, then she has clearly expressed her concern. That needed to be said once with reassurance that while you disagree with her choice, you will be there for her no matter how this works out.
I do not get that vibe at all. I get the imprression that she is telling her sister that this is a terrible idea every chance she gets.
Obviously no one literally told her to throw on a fake smile, what I meant was, by pretending that your okay with her decision, that's essentially what you would be doing. (Which is what PP suggested she do, if you need me to copy and paste it I will)
You obviously have a very different experience than I do when it comes to family. I just don't think the OP was being unreasonable for reacting the way she did, and you called her a *** for it.
I just can't imagine my sister telling me she's getting married to a man that no one in our family has ever met, after being with him for a month. Of course the appropriate response is to politely tell her once that you disagree with her choice and leave it at that, but in the real world, that's not how most people would react or deal with the situation and I don't think that is unreasonable.
It's quite clear that you do not have a close sister so stop talking out of your asss as if you know how the OP feels.
Go eat *******************
GhostMonkey, YGPM
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OP, all I can say is that you need ti decide if this is a hill to die on for you. I get that you love your sister and you don't want to see her get hurt or make the wrong decision.
Personally, my SIL told my H that she didn't think he should marry me. Their relationship still has not recovered nearly 3 years later. As it is now I encourage him to stay in contact with her, or let her know personally that we'll be in town but he says he just can't forget her behavior. He doesn't want to resume a formerly close relationship.
The fact that your BIL is making comments about what you've said tells me he and your sister are probably hurt by it. Just give some thought to wjat your ultimate goal here is. Good luck.
Re: NTTGPR- am I being unreasonable?
I was talking about you, dear. You implied that you would behave like a child if this was your sister. Because, you know, you wouldn't stand by and fake smile. You would throw a fit because she wasn't doing what you thought was best.
How did you get me throwing a tantrum from me not fake smiling? I don't know how you come up with these things. I think you should just realize that you were wrong for making the OP feel unreasonable and move on. I'm pretty sure anyone with a close family would react the way she did.
Obviously no one literally told her to throw on a fake smile, what I meant was, by pretending that your okay with her decision, that's essentially what you would be doing. (Which is what PP suggested she do, if you need me to copy and paste it I will)
You obviously have a very different experience than I do when it comes to family. I just don't think the OP was being unreasonable for reacting the way she did, and you called her a *** for it.
I just can't imagine my sister telling me she's getting married to a man that no one in our family has ever met, after being with him for a month. Of course the appropriate response is to politely tell her once that you disagree with her choice and leave it at that, but in the real world, that's not how most people would react or deal with the situation and I don't think that is unreasonable.
It's quite clear that you do not have a close sister so stop talking out of your asss as if you know how the OP feels.
I keep trying to be done with this and you keep coming back for more, to take more little jabs at me. I really don't see how me or ANYONE who cares about a close family member not immediately trusting a guy she just started seeing is an issue. I'm not going to keep arguing with you about it. You stated your opinion and I accepted it, like I just said above I was accepting her decision. Just because I'm not going to trust the guy right out of the gate, especially since he decided to talk sh!t about me on facebook, doesn't mean I have issues. I think that's pretty damn normal, actually.
Hawkeye was here.
So coming into this a little bit later but? I was active duty AF when I met and married my husband, also AD AF. We were married within 5 months of meeting. We hadn't met each other's families. I can only guess that some members of our family had reservations. But you know what? They kept it quiet because we were both consenting adults. So my advice is suck it up.
Oh and also if the relationship or marriage does fall through, don't be a smug "I told you so" kind of chick.
You're a piece of work, sweetheart. I think you need to go back and read what I actually wrote. Because you're pulling sh*t out of your a$$ now to try to defend your opinion. You are 100% absolutely, totally incorrect about what I said in this thread. I think you need to step away before you continue to show how inept you are at reading.
Ugh! I better go tell my husband that I'm unhappy and that we jumped into this too quickly because some internet stranger says so. Oh and I guess we should stop trying for another kid too huh?
Umm wow what RocknRoll? My family is STUPID tight and didn't act the way OP is. I'm very close with my younger brother (a Marine) and didn't bat an eye when he got married, after 3 months at 20 years old. Did I agree? No. Did I care? Bet your a** I did. GTFOY before you start making judgements on other people's family dynamics.
Actually, that does make it unreasonable. And childish. Like having a temper tantrum. I rest my case.
It happens every once in a while. I'm sure others will agree with that. Just not every single post. You've probably just missed the posts when it happens.
And the answer to your question is probably post-miscarriage. I became a little bit angrier then.
What the hell are you talking about? Are you for real?
You need to chill the eff out. Speaking of tantrums........
That's what I'm saying. I wasn't trying to start sh!t. Just wondering if my being concerned for my sister given her recent history of this type of thing was really that unreasonable. The general consensus is that it's not, though some think it is, which is fine.
I never told anyone that their marriage won't work out because they didn't know each other long or meet each other's families. I know a few people my parents' age who got married very quickly and they are very happy. My reasons for being concerned are unique to my family and my sister's situation. I'm not trying to generalize people who get married quickly or say that they made a mistake in their own timing. Obviously I would not know that and I hope that every marriage lasts.. divorce sucks, both my parents have been divorced twice.
GhostMonkey, I don't have a problem with your opinion of thinking I'm a brat. I put myself out there for this type of criticism by even posting this thread. But I do think your "Eat sh!t you worthless b!tch" comment was really out of line and it wasn't even directed at me. And I'm sure you don't care that I think that.. but dang. It seemed to escalate quickly. I don't want to scare any noobs into thinking we all talk like that all the time.
Hold on there, rocknroll's comment the precipitated the eat sh*t comment was the one that was out of line.
I don't think her assuming that you don't have a close sister was right or nice, but I don't think it warranted what GM said. But again, just my opinion. If I were an outsider (I still kind of am) and I looked at those two comments, to me GM's comment is much more severe.
Can you seriously learn how to write properly? I can't believe you are getting mad at me for not understanding your posts.
Also are you saying that me assuming she doesn't have a close sister is worse than her telling me to eat *** and calling me a worthless ***?
ummmm what?
A typo. The comment that precipitated.... Does that make it better for you? Or do I need to explain further?
ETA: And you still haven't addressed your gross misunderstanding (and misrepresentation) of what I wrote in this thread. Pointing out a typo is not addressing your lack of understanding, FTR.
how is not having a close sister even offensive? okay fine GM I'm sorry for making assumptions about the relationship with your sister. jeebus you're sensitive.
If you think that is the only thing wrong with your sentence than I can't help you.
What does the bolded even mean or have to do with anything? I never said no one else knows what it's like to have divorced parents. I said divorce sucks therefore I do not wish it on anyone, whether they got married quickly or without meeting each other's families or not.
Did you not see the part where I said we were working it out, and I have accepted her decision? Where I said I WAS heeding what you and everyone else had to say?? I am not harassing her, because like you and everyone else said, it would damage our relationship and I don't want that. I don't even know where you got the idea that I'm badgering her... I told her how I felt last week, and then I expressed more concerns with her yesterday. So... twice. His posting anything on facebook indicates nothing about how many times I said anything.. might indicate more about his personality than anything. You're beating a dead horse with me. She and I are on our way to resolving my feelings about it and helping her plan what she wants to do. Because I do want to help her with whatever she decides on, and she does want/need the help. That's just how she is. She asks me to do her taxes for her every year, lol.
When did I ever say I guilt tripped her about not moving back?? Again, you're just taking little jabs at me that are unnecessary. She can live wherever the hell she wants. Like I said, I will just visit her as I have in the past. If anything, I'm happy for her to live somewhere far away because she joined the military to see the world, and only ended up going to Rapid City, SD, and Albuquerque, NM, which I think makes her sad sometimes.
I took rocknroll's comment to mean that you didn't have any sisters, but in rereading it I can see how you took it also. And that interpretation is rude, yes, but I still think your reply was incredibly severe.
I know it was sarcasm. It was still completely out to lunch.
Well, maybe that's how they roped her into it then, lol, because she wanted to travel. She also ended up in a career field that wasn't really conducive to overseas travel. She tried several times to get stationed anywhere overseas and it never worked out for her. I'm sure she doesn't regret joining though, as she now has a fiance that she loves.
The BSC is strong in this thread.
This only further proves that you need reading comprehension lessons. Or maybe you just need some basic English language lessons.
By the way, it's "then I can't help you" -- not "than I can't help you."
Fair enough. I just read this whole thread again and I probably should have toned it down. It wasn't a good comment, not sure how I got so wound up.
You have a PM from me.
Ghostmonkey could punch a baby and nobody would care.
The weirdest part is that people actually think that the "close sister" comment was worse than the "worthless biitch" comment. WTF?
GM could kill a puppy and no one here would say sh!t to her. She does whatever she wants and acts like an ahole and gets away with it. Everyone says it is her "thing" but being a complete b!tch to people shouldn't be a "thing" people are okay with.
Disgusting.
Sometimes people just know. I started dating my husband in high school and just KNEW we were going to get married one day. Luckily he turned out to be a great guy and we both grew in the same directions. My parents and the rest of my family freaked when we got engaged at 18. I understand you think it's young and fast, but they're adults and they have to make their own mistakes. DH and I have been together for over 11 years now and I can honestly say dating/marrying him was the best decision I ever made.
On the other hand, I have a sister whom I am very close with and who lives with me. She makes a lot of decisions I don't agree with and think might be detrimental to her future. I sometimes will sit down with her and have a heart to heart, but to be honest, she is 19. And she doesn't think of the world the same way I thought of the world at her age. I have come to terms that we are different people and as close as we are, that will never mean she has to change to fit the mold of what I think she could be.
Finally, other than my siblings and my maternal grandparents, the rest of my family is BSC. I don't talk to anyone on my dad's side and haven't since I was 12. My husband literally knows nothing about that side of my family. That didn't make ME a bad person. You never know what is going on with your sister's fiance's family. It could betheir relationship is strained or nonexistent. That shouldn't change the love your sister has for her future husband and you shouldn't judge based on it either.
GhostMonkey, YGPM
Personally, my SIL told my H that she didn't think he should marry me. Their relationship still has not recovered nearly 3 years later. As it is now I encourage him to stay in contact with her, or let her know personally that we'll be in town but he says he just can't forget her behavior. He doesn't want to resume a formerly close relationship.
The fact that your BIL is making comments about what you've said tells me he and your sister are probably hurt by it. Just give some thought to wjat your ultimate goal here is. Good luck.
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