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September 2013 Moms
I'll admit it, I cried after my a/s
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Re: I'll admit it, I cried after my a/s
This exactly! I know we really wanted a boy for a first born. But when we found out we are having a girl the short disappointment went away pretty quickly and can't wait for this little princess. But it doesn't mean that little disappointment wasn't real.
Well, you are officially the most awful person I have "met". What the hell is wrong with you?
Congratulations on having a healthy baby boy! Also, I just want to give you credit for being honest with your feelings. Many people hide what they really think or feel for fear of what other people will think, say, or write. I have to say I can relate. I really thought it was a girl and, well, it was a little baby boy in there. I tried not to cry, but did a little bit. To those who are flaming you for being honest about your tears...I guarantee they have cried or flipped out about something minor in their past. I love this baby boy inside of me with all my heart and I am quite sure you do too.
PS: I have suffered a miscarriage before and, of course, those tears were of a much different sort.
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I was going to ignore the gender disappointment. Since I've only experienced losses, I'm just happy to have a healthy baby inside me. That being said, from what I've seen others post it appears to be a somewhat normal feeling.
The above quote however is very hurtful. I didn't have to experience a loss to understand how it affected the friends and family who had gone through one.
I'm glad your baby is healthy, and I'm sure it'll only be a matter of time before you realize how great another baby boy will be.BFP #2: 6/29/12, EDD: 3/8/13, Natural M/C: 7/16/12 @ 6 weeks 2 days
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Hypothyroidism
BFP #3: Kendall Grace, born 9/30/13
BFP #4: 9/3/14, EDD: 5/16/15, Missed M/C: 10/6/14 @ 8 weeks 2 days, D&C: 10/8/14
Never in our arms, forever in our hearts
Haha I love that song. And it is so true.
Some things are just better left unsaid. The fact that you were so devastated that you cried is pretty pathetic in my opinion. Don't like my opinion or anyone else's opinion, then guess what... don't post that crap here.
This is not a "safe place" to vent. It's an internet forum full of random strangers. You are going to get good and bad responses to what you post. Most of us happen to think what you posted is completely asinine and some of us have no problem telling you so.
Congrats on your HEALTHY baby boy. The fact that he's healthy and thriving is all that really matters.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think she used the word 'devastated'. I believe it was 'disappointed'. If memory serves...you were disappointed when the ultrasound tech told you the sex of your baby because you wanted it to be a surprise, right? Disappointments happen and people can write about them if they want...
I agree witht he bolded. I am in the same situation with you but not a yours and mine situation. DH and I have one of each together and when we found out about the twins we ideally wanted one of each to keep things even and the older two had a sibling of the same sex to play with.
The day we found out it was two boys I was a little bummed about the situation. I knew the odds going in and it could have gone one of three ways. But in reality, I had two healthy little boys in me and the feeling quickly subsided. There were no tears, no venting, no "oh no its our last pregnancy". I think actually bursting into tears is very dramatic for finding out that you have a healthy baby boy. You and your husband (like us) are going to have one little princess and that is something you have to accept. Even if you two decide in the future that just one more would fit into your family plans you may end up with a fourth boy.
She didnt say she was devastated , she was dissapointed and cried. I have cried over silly things like spilling
coffee on myself lately it's not pathetic it's hormones ! Give her a break already
Was there a clicky poll on this topic that I missed? Because I don't remember registering my opinion. In fact, from previous threads on this topic I'd say gender disappointment is pretty widely understood feeling.
When you are having your last and you've never got to experience one of the sexes, it is completely natural to be sad about the loss of the experiences you'll never have. For example, if you will never have a daughter you might think about the fact that you'll never go prom or wedding dress shopping with your little girl. Or if you never have a boy you might be sad that you'll never experience that special bond between a little boy and his mommy.
I'm very happy, OP, that your little one is healthy, and it sounds like you're already past the sad feelings you had. Congrats on your little boy!
This exactly. Having had a loss I found that statement very hurtful. We never held our baby, we never felt her kick or move around, but I was just as excited for her as I was for this baby and for our first son. So when we found out that we had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks I was devastated. I still think about her every day and I still thank God for the joy that she brought us even if was for a short time. A loss is hard and it's tragic.
This pregnancy I have been elated at every ultrasound to see a heartbeat, and to see those little arms and legs wiggling all over the place. It's a blessing to know that my baby is okay and that we have hope that this pregnancy is going to be successful!
I'm sorry, but I don't understand gender disappointment. I just don't. You go into this knowing that you can have a boy or a girl and all that you can really hope for is a healthy baby. There is a good chance that this is my last pregnancy too, and even though DH really wanted a little girl, he is over the moon for another boy! I just can't imagine being upset because my child wasn't what I wanted, even for a moment. No matter how you say that it just doesn't come out right. I promise I'm done preaching now... this is just a topic that really bothers me. Congratulations on your HEALTHY baby!
Mom to Cam and Al, now expecting baby number 3, August 2016. Praying for lots of sticky baby dust!
Regardless of whether you actually feel this way (which is shameful) this is one of those things that should never, ever be said out loud. I have never read something so insensitive. I can't believe any woman would say this to another woman, especially in the presence of women who actually HAVE lost pregnancies.
Edit: I don't know who made the comment in question by the point still stands.
I think if people actually read the entire comment and still thought it was a good idea to swear at a victim of sexual assault and ask what is wrong with her, then they are crappy people. Until they get raped and know what it's like to carry a child resulting from that rape, they should not be judging. We all have different experiences and nobody can know exactly what someone else's experienceis like. That was the commenter in question's point in the first place.
I don't think anyone is defending that statement, in fact I have't seen one post where ppl were defending her on that particular comment about losing babies. But I think people jumping on her because she's sad she's not expereincing a girl is ridiculous! Even though I have a daughter and am having another, I can still empathize with her b/c if my two girls were two boys and I knew I was done having kids, I would be sad at the things I'll be missing out on with a daughter. It doesn't mean she is going to love her son any less. Maybe some people can't relate to gender disappointment, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
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It was the OP who said that. Obviously, I feel bad for her to have been in her situation and have a ton of respect for raising her son. I just don't see how gender disappointment and someone losing their baby can be in the same emotional ball park, and find her comments about miscarriage offensive, not her comments on gender disappointment.
It was the OP that said that. 1st page towards the bottom.
I understand being pissed about putting the two things in the same ballpark probably wasn't the best analogy on her part, I agree with you on that
It was the OP who said that. I agree that she maybe has a different perspective based on her own horrible circumstances. But she basically used her comment as a way to defend herself for feeling so upset about having another boy. She basically said, "Some people might not understand gender dissapointment, but I don't understand how a woman can mourn the loss of her unborn baby so to each his own." Ummm, there's a big difference between those two things.
Again, I realize OP was in a $hitty situation with her first. That doesn't mean she can generalize that feeling of not caring whether ot not she lost her baby (which she DIDN'T by the way, so she has no idea how she might have felt regardless of the situation she was in) onto other women who DO care and are devastated about losing their babies. That's f'ed up, and something she should have kept to herself.
You are right, she said disappointed. Either way, I think it's lousy to be so disappointed over something like the sex of your baby. Baby is healthy and that's what's important, not what's between his or her legs. She has a right to post that she feels disappointed, just like several people on here have the right to tell her that they that being disappointed in the sex of your baby is lame.
Yes it was me who was upset because the u/s tech told me the sex when I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know because baby's sex doesn't matter to me. I would have been just as thrilled to have another boy as a girl as long as baby was healthy, which she is. I even said that in my post. I certainly didn't cry about it that's for sure.
This is more directed at VCK but there is a difference between wanting to know the sex of your baby and crying because it wasnt the sex you wanted and being upset that your did not want to know in the first place and then finding out due to a tech saying something.
Dirty lurker here...
Mmceathron, I haven't seen this posted here yet and I feel the need to bring it up... have you sought out professional help for your sexual assault? I have a hunch your extreme gender disappointment may be stemming from it.
Seriously, screw you. Boofuckinghoo you didn't get the girl you wanted. I had a little girl and a little boy and they're both dead. It sounds like you've been through some shiit in your life and I'm sorry about that but you sound like a real assshole right now.
My sweet angels...
Baby girl grew wings 11/14/11, 20w
Baby boy grew wings 4/20/13, 16w
Well, I never said there wasn't a difference between the two. I simply stated they were both a form of a disappointment for each individual person and they have a right to post about it. Ultimately, I think it's pretty crappy that the US tech spilled the beans, but at least the baby was healthy right? Similiar to what people are saying to the original poster...that she should just be happy the baby is healthy right? As for crying....shoot it doesn't take much for the tears to flow for me...commmericials, songs, little baby clothes, the list goes on and on...
OP, You really should consider that some women on here have had their marriages, relationships with friends/family, and relationship with their own bodies be affected because of loss so maybe you could understand that what you makes you sound like a complete C yoU Next Tuesday. I've had a twin and singleton miscarriage, both losses are still with me regardless of whether or not I held them in my arms.
So it's a boy, you sound like you are getting 'over' it but I swore up and down that this baby was a boy, and I was dead wrong. I grabbed a peanut butter chocolate shake on that way home and was over it before I got through the drive through. Congratulations on your healthy baby.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
First, I am sorry you experianced sexual assult. That is horrible no one should EVER have to experiance that.
However, the bolded of your statement baffles me. You can't understand getting upset about losing a baby you've never seen in person or held. Your words right?
So, please explain to me why you are upset about a baby girl that you will never see or hold? I mean right? You can't understand how I (who have lost two babies, real babies that did exist) could be upset at losing them, because I've never touched them or held them, so I shouln't be upset. Yet somehow, you think it is perfectly acceptable to feel some sort of "loss" over a baby girl that NEVER WAS. You have a healthy son. Get over it.
This is not to say that I think you or anyone else may or may not have a moment of "aww, shucks." But seriously to sit there and cry over a healthy baby just because there's a penis, that's a little ridiculous. The odds are 50/50. If you REALLY wanted a girl and ONLY a girl, you should have adopted one, that's the ONLY way you can "know for sure" what you're going to get.