Why are people always shocked?

adunkin · March 2013

Seriously, I don't get why BFP posts so frequently state that the poster is shocked to get a BFP. Then they go on to say all the stuff they tried that month and how many months they've been trying. And that they thought to POAS and now they are shocked.

Excited - yes. Happy that it finally turned positive - yes. Surprised because your timing was way off - maybe. Shocked - I sure hope not.

Shayliz · March 2013

Because most use shocked and surprised interchangeably.

wearebirds · March 2013

And when you try for so long your expectations are incredibly low.

Mochadoodle · March 2013

grahamlove:
And when you try for so long your expectations are incredibly low.

This.

ETA: DH and I are @ 21 months of TTC. I'm pretty sure that we'll be in a state of shock and disbelief if/when it does happen for us.

CrayChristi · March 2013

OP, do you think they should be more shocked to see a BFN?

bornmommy · March 2013

I think shocked is definitely how some people feel. My personal experience: I had what I thought was my period (heavy bleeding for 6 days) when I POAS on a hunch and it came up pregnant. I knew we had had sex so I knew it could be a possibility but I thought I was absolutely out. I was SHOCKED.

catahoulatte · March 2013

I was pretty damn shocked when I got my BFP on an 80 day cycle.

BankerBSN · March 2013

DONT TELL ME HOW TO FEEL!!!!1!1!1!1

jschwind22 · March 2013

grahamlove:
And when you try for so long your expectations are incredibly low.

This exactly. After 2 years of disappointment, you can sure bet that I was shocked when I finally saw 2 lines. I was starting to believe that 2 lines would never exist.

BankerBSN · March 2013

CLECyclist:
Banker&BSN:
DONT TELL ME HOW TO FEEL!!!!1!1!1!1
Tell me how I should feel about soup

Today we will talk about individually wrapped slices of cheese.

The possibilities are endless.

You be be shocked. SHOCKED I SAY!!

noslen0519 · March 2013

Maybe because it's so surreal?

BillyMaysHere · March 2013

MeatandBandP:
ETA: You make it seem like being shocked is a horrible feeling to have. I don't get that.

SHOCKED? GOOD.

HORRIFIED? BETTER CALL MY FRIEND MAURY!

Luckbeababy · March 2013

I always wonder the same thing. If you are TTC then the chance is always there that you may get pregnant. It especially annoys me when the poster lists a ton of things they did that cycle, shows great timing and has a long list of symptoms, but then they say " I thought for sure we were out this cycle".

BillyMaysHere · March 2013

jefa621:
You know how a word starts to sound weird the more you say it? Shocked shaaked shacht!!!

STAHP

EDIT: BILLY MAYS HERE!

herecomesthesun · March 2013

shock¹ (sh

k)

n.

1. To strike with great surprise and emotional disturbance.

I will be surprised and my emotions would zig zag if I were to get a BFP after 24 BFNs. Yes, I will be shocked, not just surprised. Greatly surprised. Enough to pee all over many sticks.

Cara1024 · March 2013

grahamlove:
And when you try for so long your expectations are incredibly low.

This. Considering we've been told we only have a 1 to 2% chance of conceiving, I will certainly be shocked if it ever happens.

Twinkie0612 · March 2013

talon1226:
grahamlove:
And when you try for so long your expectations are incredibly low.
Yep

Yes

After 21 cycles (19 months) of BFNs, I would be shocked to see a BFP.

Svenny1011 · March 2013

I was shocked because we were TTA. Does that work for you? I mean, when you aren't trying for something, and it happens, despite all the months you did try really hard, it can be shocking.

adunkin · March 2013

CrayChristi:
OP, do you think they should be more shocked to see a BFN?

Nah, I just think once you start TTC a BFP shouldn't shock you. I also think a BFN shouldn't shock you. Since both are distinct possibilities when TTC, I don't get being shocked. *shrug* However, I will totally admit that at cycle 12, I sometimes wonder if it'll happen for us. I still hope I'm happy and excited - not shocked - if it does happen.

Svenny1011 · March 2013

adunkin:
CrayChristi:
OP, do you think they should be more shocked to see a BFN?
Nah, I just think once you start TTC a BFP shouldn't shock you.

Sure, okay.

adunkin · March 2013

CLECyclist:
I'm shocked that anyone gives a crap about what adjective someone uses to describe their delight, amazement, happiness when they get a BFP.
After 17 months of negatives, I'll be shocked to get a BFP - and even then I probably won't believe it till I see a beta.
It's a word. It describes something, it doesn't affect you in any way. Why it elicits a response worthy of a message board post is what confuses me.
*shrug*

I just think it's a strange thing to say. Especially when they've done so much to make it happen that month. The board has been boring. I thought I'd post something. With over 800 views so far, at least it's making things a bit more lively.

bornmommy · March 2013

adunkin:
I just think it's a strange thing to say. Especially when they've done so much to make it happen that month. The board has been boring. I thought I'd post something. With over 800 views so far, at least it's making things a bit more lively.

So you posted this to start drama?

adunkin · March 2013

CLECyclist:
adunkin:
Nah, I just think once you start TTC a BFP shouldn't shock you.
That's dumb. What a narrow minded person you are.

Stick out tongue Indeed. So narrow minded.

adunkin · March 2013

bornmommy:
adunkin:
I just think it's a strange thing to say. Especially when they've done so much to make it happen that month. The board has been boring. I thought I'd post something. With over 800 views so far, at least it's making things a bit more lively.
So you posted this to start drama?

I don't think starting a conversation is starting drama. Does that mean that all the clicky polls are starting drama? Or all the current posts that refer to something many of us are clueless about is starting drama? I don't really think so - just making convo on an internet forum.....

adunkin · March 2013

MeatandBandP:
bornmommy:
adunkin:
I just think it's a strange thing to say. Especially when they've done so much to make it happen that month. The board has been boring. I thought I'd post something. With over 800 views so far, at least it's making things a bit more lively.
So you posted this to start drama?
You posted this right after someone posted their BFP and said they were shocked. Why try and call someone out like that over such nonsense.

I actually didn't see that post before I posted this. (For some reason my PC refreshed and stayed on page 2. I am however all caught up now.) I wasn't calling anyone out. I find it strange. Lots of other people clearly don't find it strange. And some do.

Svenny1011 · March 2013

CLECyclist:
You are, you really are.
You wouldn't have posted this thread if you had experienced BFN after BFN, or if you'd gotten pregnant when you had given up all hope/stopped medications/stopped charting... Basically your post serves as a beacon to inform TTGP that you really have no idea what you're talking about, and that you fail to understand the simplest of things.

Word.

Luckbeababy · March 2013

ColeRose:
MeatandBandP:
bornmommy:
adunkin:
I just think it's a strange thing to say. Especially when they've done so much to make it happen that month. The board has been boring. I thought I'd post something. With over 800 views so far, at least it's making things a bit more lively.
So you posted this to start drama?
You posted this right after someone posted their BFP and said they were shocked. Why try and call someone out like that over such nonsense.
This. I didn't like that it was posted after someone's BFP announcement. I thought it was in poor taste. Is the board pretty dead now? Sure, but I didn't think insulting her word choice was necessary.
AFM when I got my BFP I was shocked because we had been trying for a short amount of time and just seeing those lines is surprising. If I get another BFP I am sure I will be shocked and surprised. I don't know how else to explain it to you.

I must be the biggest biitch ever then because right after seeing a not so cute baby on this board it made me think of other not so cute babies and what people think about commenting on them so I created a post about it. I think a lot of posts are created after something is said on here don't you think? Is that really a bad thing? It does not mean she never thought that before, just that seeing it made her think of it. You girls really do need some big girl panties around here. At least this is a real post that encourages conversation, not one of your mocking posts about how interesting you are. But I guess if that is the direction you want the board to go in then right on.

wearebirds · March 2013

adunkin:
CrayChristi:
OP, do you think they should be more shocked to see a BFN?
Nah, I just think once you start TTC a BFP shouldn't shock you. I also think a BFN shouldn't shock you. Since both are distinct possibilities when TTC, I don't get being shocked. *shrug*  However, I will totally admit that at cycle 12, I sometimes wonder if it'll happen for us. I still hope I'm happy and excited - not shocked - if it does happen.

So, if someone is shocked...they aren't also happy and excited?!?? Please explain...

adunkin · March 2013

grahamlove:
adunkin:
CrayChristi:
OP, do you think they should be more shocked to see a BFN?
Nah, I just think once you start TTC a BFP shouldn't shock you. I also think a BFN shouldn't shock you. Since both are distinct possibilities when TTC, I don't get being shocked. *shrug* However, I will totally admit that at cycle 12, I sometimes wonder if it'll happen for us. I still hope I'm happy and excited - not shocked - if it does happen.
So, if someone is shocked...they aren't also happy and excited?!?? Please explain...

I have no idea if someone who is shocked is also happy and excited, unless of course they say that. I said that I hope I am happy and excited, but not shocked, should I actually ever get KTFU.

bornmommy · March 2013

Luckbeababy:
ColeRose:
MeatandBandP:
bornmommy:
adunkin:
I just think it's a strange thing to say. Especially when they've done so much to make it happen that month. The board has been boring. I thought I'd post something. With over 800 views so far, at least it's making things a bit more lively.
So you posted this to start drama?
You posted this right after someone posted their BFP and said they were shocked. Why try and call someone out like that over such nonsense.
This. I didn't like that it was posted after someone's BFP announcement. I thought it was in poor taste. Is the board pretty dead now? Sure, but I didn't think insulting her word choice was necessary.
AFM when I got my BFP I was shocked because we had been trying for a short amount of time and just seeing those lines is surprising. If I get another BFP I am sure I will be shocked and surprised. I don't know how else to explain it to you.
I must be the biggest biitch ever then because right after seeing a not so cute baby on this board it made me think of other not so cute babies and what people think about commenting on them so I created a post about it. I think a lot of posts are created after something is said on here don't you think? Is that really a bad thing? It does not mean she never thought that before, just that seeing it made her think of it. You girls really do need some big girl panties around here. At least this is a real post that encourages conversation, not one of your mocking posts about how interesting you are. But I guess if that is the direction you want the board to go in then right on.

I don't think this post encouraged any conversation. There was no back and forth. At least the mocking posts about how interesting someone is had funny dialogue.

KNemo · March 2013

ColeRose:
Luckbeababy:
I must be the biggest biitch ever then because right after seeing a not so cute baby on this board it made me think of other not so cute babies and what people think about commenting on them so I created a post about it. I think a lot of posts are created after something is said on here don't you think? Is that really a bad thing? It does not mean she never thought that before, just that seeing it made her think of it. You girls really do need some big girl panties around here. At least this is a real post that encourages conversation, not one of your mocking posts about how interesting you are. But I guess if that is the direction you want the board to go in then right on.
Apples to oranges it ain't the same thing. There are tons of posts and s/o posts generated but saying how someone should or shouldn't feel after receiving probably the best news of their life doesn't make sense. The fact that it was posted after an active member posted her BFP just seemed tacky.
I'm not sure why I'm responding because all you do it is put shiit out there that no one will agree with so *shrug.*

Is anyone else wondering who the not-so-cute baby belongs to?

madasm0530 · March 2013

KNemo:
ColeRose:
Luckbeababy:
I must be the biggest biitch ever then because right after seeing a not so cute baby on this board it made me think of other not so cute babies and what people think about commenting on them so I created a post about it. I think a lot of posts are created after something is said on here don't you think? Is that really a bad thing? It does not mean she never thought that before, just that seeing it made her think of it. You girls really do need some big girl panties around here. At least this is a real post that encourages conversation, not one of your mocking posts about how interesting you are. But I guess if that is the direction you want the board to go in then right on.
Apples to oranges it ain't the same thing. There are tons of posts and s/o posts generated but saying how someone should or shouldn't feel after receiving probably the best news of their life doesn't make sense. The fact that it was posted after an active member posted her BFP just seemed tacky.
I'm not sure why I'm responding because all you do it is put shiit out there that no one will agree with so *shrug.*
Is anyone else wondering who the not-so-cute baby belongs to?

color me a stalker but it is not your baby!

madasm0530 · March 2013

Svenny1011:
I was shocked because we were TTA. Does that work for you? I mean, when you aren't trying for something, and it happens, despite all the months you did try really hard, it can be shocking.

I really, really don't think you need to defend saying you were 'shocked'. You were. I don't think anybody can tell you how to feel when you get that kind of news. If shocked, scared, frantic, etc. are how you're feeling - so be it.

OP - this is a stupid thread *shrug*

adunkin · March 2013

MeatandBandP:
adunkin:
MeatandBandP:
bornmommy:
adunkin:
I just think it's a strange thing to say. Especially when they've done so much to make it happen that month. The board has been boring. I thought I'd post something. With over 800 views so far, at least it's making things a bit more lively.
So you posted this to start drama?
You posted this right after someone posted their BFP and said they were shocked. Why try and call someone out like that over such nonsense.
I actually didn't see that post before I posted this. (For some reason my PC refreshed and stayed on page 2. I am however all caught up now.) I wasn't calling anyone out. I find it strange. Lots of other people clearly don't find it strange. And some do.
That's quite the coincidence that someone posted their BFP and described themselves as shocked and that you just happened to post this little rant right after them, without seeing their post. Yea not buying that.

3 of the last 4 BFP posts used the word shocked. (Not counting the weird person that everyone is busying taking to task because I've no idea if that's anywhere close to real.) It wasn't directed at the post to which you refer or any specific post. I posted this after catching up on posts from the weekend (OOT and traveling so behind).

CooneyGirl · March 2013

Every week I buy two lottery tickets, one for Friday night and one for Saturday.

I have been doing this every week for over 10 years.

I know there is a chance I could win so I keep buying them. But I also know there is a greater chance I can loose.

Let me tell you just because both are possibilities doesn't mean I wouldn't poop my pants... guess that make me a SS in today's poll... with shock if I won it big.

I feel the same way about BFP or sticky babies.

ETA mobile bumping

adunkin · March 2013

talon1226:
adunkin:
CLECyclist:
adunkin:
Nah, I just think once you start TTC a BFP shouldn't shock you.
That's dumb. What a narrow minded person you are.
Indeed. So narrow minded.
You are proving so with your continued nonsense. You're picking apart people's choice of words and posted this after someone else used the word shocked in their BFP post. You also have no clue what it feels like to go through 19 cycles of BFN's before hearing that your only chance of success is IVF. I promise you, I will be fvvcking shocked if I get a BFP this cycle after my RE just told us there is no hope without IVF. While I'm glad that you have never had to experience something like that, that doesn't excuse you being totally oblivious to people who have.

No, I don't know what that's like and I'm sorry you do know what that is like. I do know what it is like to go through 12 cycles of BFN and to go through 6 months of tests and treatments just to get medical permission to TTC. My original comment referred to people who say we did ED and tried EPO, pineapple, preseed, pomegranate juice, etc and I felt a bit queasy so I POAS and I'm shocked I'm pregnant.

Even after everything I've been through (which has been a lot), I'm not sure I'd say I was shocked to get pregnant as long as we were still TTC. And there are definitely BFP posts that don't say it.

adunkin · March 2013

CooneyGirl:
Let me tell you just because both are possibilities doesn't mean I wouldn't poop my pants... guess that make me a SS in today's poll...

LOL

adunkin · March 2013

CLECyclist:
OP since you're really not getting it...
I took your post as making fun of/making light of people who describe themselves as shocked when they got their BFP. Just because you have it completely figured out how you'll feel on things when you get your + does not mean it's a bad thing for someone to be shocked.
I feel like your post was a passive-aggressive attempt and calling on those who have recently said they were shocked. Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean you should (or that it's okay to) make fun of it.

CLE - you are clearly very upset with me. Baby dust, glitter covered rainbow farts and lacy sexy big girl panties to you.

madasm0530 · March 2013

adunkin:
CLECyclist:
OP since you're really not getting it...
I took your post as making fun of/making light of people who describe themselves as shocked when they got their BFP. Just because you have it completely figured out how you'll feel on things when you get your + does not mean it's a bad thing for someone to be shocked.
I feel like your post was a passive-aggressive attempt and calling on those who have recently said they were shocked. Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean you should (or that it's okay to) make fun of it.
CLE - you are clearly very upset with me. Baby dust, glitter covered rainbow farts and lacy sexy big girl panties to you.

oh, snap.

KNemo · March 2013

adunkin:
CLE - you are clearly very upset with me. Baby dust, glitter covered rainbow farts and lacy sexy big girl panties to you.

sueann911 · March 2013

CLECyclist:
adunkin:
CLE - you are clearly very upset with me. Baby dust, glitter covered rainbow farts and lacy sexy big girl panties to you.
I'm not upset, I just think it's sad that you're as dense as you are.

There's always that point when someone crosses the imaginary what not to say line. You've stepped across it dunkin. Please continue to dig your own hole.

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