UO

pnutg · February 2013

slweaver0626:
1and1is3:
pnutg:
I am pro spanking, when used appropriately I think its totally fine.
I have a feeling yours will be a super unpopluar opinion.  I agree with you though. When used in the right context and followed by a lot of loving it is a necessary tool IMO. I am however against those who spank in anger or spank because they are annoyed with the child rather than spank to teach the child. 
EDIT: To say I am guessing that is what you mean by "appropriately". 
DH and I agree with you.  We have seen that our niece and nephews get several verbal warnings about bad behaviors and then a spanking. I think it's more than fair that the kid was warned multiple times (sometimes in an hour) and they still did it. 
DH and I both got the belt as kids and are OK with open handed spanking.
My UO: My children will NOT be getting a cell phone or any kind of wireless enabled device until they have a job and are capable of paying the bill themselves.

I agree with this totally. I've taken care of children for years as my job. I would never spank someone elses child but I have seen that the children who were spanked...and I dont mean out of anger, but out of deserved discipline, were 10 times more respectful and aware that there are consequences to their actions. I don't think theres anything wrong with a child being a little fearful to do something bad because they know there could be a spanking involved. I was very head strong and would have laughed at a time out as a child. A spanking, I did not laugh at.

mytinc · February 2013

I'm sitting in an airport waiting for my connecting flight to take me back to Columbus, Ohio. While looking around at my soon to be fellow passengers I'm reminded that the Arnold Classic is this weekend... Which brings me to my UO.
I think exercise and eating right is great and healthy. I think bulked up muscles for the sake of huge muscles and bodybuilding is gross.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

MommyLizzy:
I understand what you're trying to say here, but its been my personal opposite experience. Children I've known who have a problem with hitting or biting (biting specifically) have for the most part had parents who do not spank. I really don't think the discipline much at all though. They are normally the moms that just go "Honey, be nice!" and bribe them with TV and junk food to behave. I know this is a completely different problem, it really doesn't have to do with spanking vs not spanking.
Ive said this before in the last spanking debate we had. I think every child is different and needs to be treated on an individual basis. I spanked DS on occasion and found it didn't work for him, so I stopped. I'm not going to say what I'm doing with this one because I don't have any idea what needs/temper/behavior problems if any this child will have.
I know some wonderful parents who spank their children, and some wonderful parents that don't.

See my last comment about my own parents, I do believe there is a way to spank your child without teaching them how to be aggressive.

But, I have also had my children attacked by kids that come from hostile homes. And I have had to go pick up my friend's grandchildren from daycare and gotten a lecture from the workers on how they hit and bit other kids all day. (Their mom spanks and swats regularly. Even when she's just annoyed with them.)

My point: If you are going to spank your child, be careful enough with it that they know you are spanking them because you care -- not because you are angry.

MomlovesEloise · February 2013

mytinc:
I'm sitting in an airport waiting for my connecting flight to take me back to Columbus, Ohio. While looking around at my soon to be fellow passengers I'm reminded that the Arnold Classic is this weekend... Which brings me to my UO. I think exercise and eating right is great and healthy. I think bulked up muscles for the sake of huge muscles and bodybuilding is gross.

Agreed. I have an ex who has gotten into competitive body building in the last few years. He used to be so handsome, now he just looks like he should running around yelling "HULK SMASH!".

MrsJ723 · February 2013

jerseygirl81:
I think walmart/sears/JCP/picture people pictures are pretty horrible.

It definitely depends on the photographer. We get our Christmas and DS's birthday pictures fine at Portrait Innovations and while they're not particularly unique, they work for what we need. We've had good experiences there and bad ones, but you can't beat the price.

Blueyed228 · February 2013

There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.

LN1024 · February 2013

My UO: I don't care that my parents are now older and financially took care of me, I expect them to still contribute. When it comes to family trips, events, etc, I expect them to pay their share and we pay ours. I know many people feel inclined to take care of their parents as they continue to age (and if something medical did happen, I would be there in an instant). However, financially footing their part of the bill (for vacations or trips), because they did so for me as I was growing up does not make sense to me.

Sydney0130 · February 2013

MomlovesEloise:
Pumpkin_Princess:
I never have any good ones of my own, I usually just end up agreeing with everyone else.
This is what I came up with: I completely disagree with getting a baby's ears pierced. It's not the same as making decisions about your child's healthcare or education. It doesn't benefit the baby one way or the other, so I think that the child should have a say in whether or not he/she gets holes punched through his/her body. I have a friend that recently told me that she wanted to get her 1 month old daughter's ears pierced so that people wouldn't think that she's a boy. She already wears nothing but pink, so I don't know that the earrings would make a difference. I suggested that she try a headband first.
Eh, I wasn't crazy about it but it's a family tradition in H's family, so I let him pierce DD's ears at 4 months. I can see your point, but it's something that I think is dumb for me to be judged for.
Mine is pretty lame:
I think it's hilarious every time there's some media panic about horse meat in burgers, pink slime-ish goo, or someone finds something gnarly in their KFC. Americans are blissfully ignorant about the disgusting nature of their food. They jump on whatever bandwagon happens to roll by, but never realize that the majority of what they eat contains absolutely disgusting, perfectly legal filth.

I guess my UO is despite any of that, I'm going to continue to eat Taco Bell and love every second of it!! I'm abnormally excited about the Cool Ranch Dorito Loco Taco that is coming out next week.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

MommyLizzy:
[
I agree with that, spanking really is counter productive when they don't understand why they are getting spanked. I don't think parents should ever spank a child when they are angry, and I know a lot of people do.
I also think spanking is something that should be done in private and not in the middle of a grocery aisle (for example).

I am definitely not the type to confront someone spanking their kid in a store because: A) It's not my personality to do that; and I'd be afraid it would just make them angrier and more likely to take it out on their kid for misbehaving in the first place.

That said, if you are going to haul off and hit your kid in public without making it obvious that you are not doing it out of anger; then you really can't be that surprised when some bold person calls you out for it.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.

And still, they had to learn the behavior somewhere.

Pumpkin_Princess · February 2013

kmcd23:

Disagree. My Mom had mine done when I was 5, and while I loved it then, I hated it by the time I was a teenage because they weren't even and one hole was crooked. So I left them out for years, and those suckers never closed up. 30 years later, I've still got crooked, uneven earring holes that I wish I didn't have.

My point exactly. After so long, those suckers are permanent.

MomlovesEloise · February 2013

Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.

Yeah. I'm in the no spanking camp, but to say that these behaviors are because parent's do/don't spank is nuts. And for the record, biting and hitting is a normal part of toddler development. Most kids go through a hitting phase. It's only a parenting issue when you don't teach them that it is wrong and the right way to deal with anger. Bullying is a whole different can of worms.

blush64 · February 2013

pnutg:
slweaver0626:
1and1is3:

pnutg:
.

I agree with this totally. I've taken care of children for years as my job. I would never spank someone elses child but I have seen that the children who were spanked...and I dont mean out of anger, but out of deserved discipline, were 10 times more respectful and aware that there are consequences to their actions. I don't think theres anything wrong with a child being a little fearful to do something bad because they know there could be a spanking involved. I was very head strong and would have laughed at a time out as a child. A spanking, I did not laugh at.

You realize other people could point out many children who were spanked out of discipline and who are horribly behaved. Properly disciplined children will usually behave better, but that doesn't have to mean spanking.

EDIT and to be clear it can include spanking. There are many ways to properly discipline a child.

mytinc · February 2013

MomlovesEloise:
mytinc:
I'm sitting in an airport waiting for my connecting flight to take me back to Columbus, Ohio. While looking around at my soon to be fellow passengers I'm reminded that the Arnold Classic is this weekend... Which brings me to my UO.
I think exercise and eating right is great and healthy. I think bulked up muscles for the sake of huge muscles and bodybuilding is gross.
Agreed. I have an ex who has gotten into competitive body building in the last few years. He used to be so handsome, now he just looks like he should running around yelling "HULK SMASH!". 
 

HULK SMASH! That's a perfect description of what I'm seeing right now. I'd like to add that the scantally clad female body builders with obviously fake boobs aren't aren't better.

mytinc · February 2013

MomlovesEloise:
mytinc:
I'm sitting in an airport waiting for my connecting flight to take me back to Columbus, Ohio. While looking around at my soon to be fellow passengers I'm reminded that the Arnold Classic is this weekend... Which brings me to my UO.
I think exercise and eating right is great and healthy. I think bulked up muscles for the sake of huge muscles and bodybuilding is gross.
Agreed. I have an ex who has gotten into competitive body building in the last few years. He used to be so handsome, now he just looks like he should running around yelling "HULK SMASH!". 
 

HULK SMASH! That's a perfect description of what I'm seeing right now. I'd like to add that the scantally clad female body builders with obviously fake boobs aren't any better.

blush64 · February 2013

MomlovesEloise:

Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.

Yeah. I'm in the no spanking camp, but to say that these behaviors are because parent's do/don't spank is nuts. And for the record, biting and hitting is a normal part of toddler development. Most kids go through a hitting phase. It's only a parenting issue when you don't teach them that it is wrong and the right way to deal with anger. Bullying is a whole different can of worms.

I agree with all of this.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

MomlovesEloise:
Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.
Yeah. I'm in the no spanking camp, but to say that these behaviors are because parent's do/don't spank is nuts. And for the record, biting and hitting is a normal part of toddler development. Most kids go through a hitting phase. It's only a parenting issue when you don't teach them that it is wrong and the right way to deal with anger. Bullying is a whole different can of worms.

I wouldn't call my opinion "nuts." Research has always shown that children learn by imitating adults. We can argue all the variables that might lead a child to hit and bit other kids (and yes, some of it is normal), but there really is no arguing that children learn by imitating adults.

Pumpkin_Princess · February 2013

lindsay.n.harman:
My UO: I don't care that my parents are now older and financially took care of me, I expect them to still contribute. When it comes to family trips, events, etc, I expect them to pay their share and we pay ours. I know many people feel inclined to take care of their parents as they continue to age (and if something medical did happen, I would be there in an instant). However, financially footing their part of the bill (for vacations or trips), because they did so for me as I was growing up does not make sense to me.

I agree with this to a point. You are now starting a family of your own, and there is no reason that you should have to pay for your children, yourselves, and your parents. With that being said, we usually pay almost everything for MIL when we take her on trips (hotels, airfare, food, etc.) because we use the trips as birthday/Christmas gifts for her. The only things we don't buy for her are souvenirs.

We do plan on taking some pretty big vacations without LO in the future, and I don't feel badly about it.

lovingmygirl · February 2013

I have a few:

I pierced my DD's ears when she was 2mos old...it's how my parents did it with me and seemed like the natural thing to do

Both my DH and I have spanked (one tap on tush) her when talking and time out haven't worked...if my DS were to react the same way I will do the same. I don't love this method of discipline but there were times when it seems the tap on the tush worked where nothing else brought her out of her moment

I don't like pink lipsticks...but love reds!

My personal UO - My best friend who happens to also be expecting is Team Green...it drives me nuts! LOL, how can she go 9 mos w/o wanting to find out what's coming?! I've tried giving her different reasons why she should find out but I guess I haven't presented a good enough argument. I guess my OU is that to me the surprise is the same at 20wks or at birth...go ahead, flame me

Blueyed228 · February 2013

MomlovesEloise:
Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.
Yeah. I'm in the no spanking camp, but to say that these behaviors are because parent's do/don't spank is nuts. And for the record, biting and hitting is a normal part of toddler development. Most kids go through a hitting phase. It's only a parenting issue when you don't teach them that it is wrong and the right way to deal with anger. Bullying is a whole different can of worms.

This is exactly where I was going with it. I totally agree.

And to answer the "kids learn it somewhere", I know a few biters and hitters that dont have siblings, dont watch TV, were not spanked, and were the only "problem" child in their daycare. A daycare with children who are spanked and do not exhibit any violent behaviors.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

Blueyed228:
MomlovesEloise:
Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.
Yeah. I'm in the no spanking camp, but to say that these behaviors are because parent's do/don't spank is nuts. And for the record, biting and hitting is a normal part of toddler development. Most kids go through a hitting phase. It's only a parenting issue when you don't teach them that it is wrong and the right way to deal with anger. Bullying is a whole different can of worms.
This is exactly where I was going with it. I totally agree.
And to answer the "kids learn it somewhere", I know a few biters and hitters that dont have siblings, dont watch TV, were not spanked, and were the only "problem" child in their daycare. A daycare with children who are spanked and do not exhibit any violent behaviors.

Hmm...I can't really respond to this because I don't know that level of detail about the private lives of any large group of children.

be888 · February 2013

lovingmygirl:

My personal UO - My best friend who happens to also be expecting is Team Green...it drives me nuts! LOL, how can she go 9 mos w/o wanting to find out what's coming?! I've tried giving her different reasons why she should find out but I guess I haven't presented a good enough argument. I guess my OU is that to me the surprise is the same at 20wks or at birth...go ahead, flame me

Why do you care to know so much? We were planning on being Team Green, but curiosity got the best of us. I applaud people that stayed strong in their decision.

MomlovesEloise · February 2013

MotherMayEye:
MomlovesEloise:
Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.
Yeah. I'm in the no spanking camp, but to say that these behaviors are because parent's do/don't spank is nuts. And for the record, biting and hitting is a normal part of toddler development. Most kids go through a hitting phase. It's only a parenting issue when you don't teach them that it is wrong and the right way to deal with anger. Bullying is a whole different can of worms.
I wouldn't call my opinion "nuts." Research has always shown that children learn by imitating adults. We can argue all the variables that might lead a child to hit and bit other kids (and yes, some of it is normal), but there really is no arguing that children learn by imitating adults.

I wasn't calling your opinion nuts. I was saying the idea that it was a cause/effect relationship one way or the other is nuts. I agree with you 100% that children learn by watching their parents. But the hitting/biting in itself is normal and most kids go through it. It's the kids that aren't shown another way to deal with anger and continue to be aggressive that are the issue.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

MotherMayEye:
Blueyed228:
MomlovesEloise:
Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.
Yeah. I'm in the no spanking camp, but to say that these behaviors are because parent's do/don't spank is nuts. And for the record, biting and hitting is a normal part of toddler development. Most kids go through a hitting phase. It's only a parenting issue when you don't teach them that it is wrong and the right way to deal with anger. Bullying is a whole different can of worms.
This is exactly where I was going with it. I totally agree.
And to answer the "kids learn it somewhere", I know a few biters and hitters that dont have siblings, dont watch TV, were not spanked, and were the only "problem" child in their daycare. A daycare with children who are spanked and do not exhibit any violent behaviors.
Hmm...I can't really respond to this because I don't know that level of detail about the private lives of any large group of children.

I have to say, there seems to be one opinion here that there are zero negative consequences that come from any kind of spanking. I think it's ok to agree to disagree on this.

Blueyed228 · February 2013

MotherMayEye:
Blueyed228:
MomlovesEloise:
Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.
Yeah. I'm in the no spanking camp, but to say that these behaviors are because parent's do/don't spank is nuts. And for the record, biting and hitting is a normal part of toddler development. Most kids go through a hitting phase. It's only a parenting issue when you don't teach them that it is wrong and the right way to deal with anger. Bullying is a whole different can of worms.
This is exactly where I was going with it. I totally agree.
And to answer the "kids learn it somewhere", I know a few biters and hitters that dont have siblings, dont watch TV, were not spanked, and were the only "problem" child in their daycare. A daycare with children who are spanked and do not exhibit any violent behaviors.
Hmm...I can't really respond to this because I don't know that level of detail about the private lives of any large group of children.

Well thats weird because you made it seem like you did when you implied that the biters and hitters were the spanked kids and/or see people getting hit/spanked/violence in their homes.

botanicalbliss · February 2013

There are too many variables involved to make a broad statement about what makes a kid a hitter/biter/bullier.

LN1024 · February 2013

Pumpkin_Princess:

lindsay.n.harman:
My UO: I don't care that my parents are now older and financially took care of me, I expect them to still contribute. When it comes to family trips, events, etc, I expect them to pay their share and we pay ours. I know many people feel inclined to take care of their parents as they continue to age (and if something medical did happen, I would be there in an instant). However, financially footing their part of the bill (for vacations or trips), because they did so for me as I was growing up does not make sense to me.

I agree with this to a point. You are now starting a family of your own, and there is no reason that you should have to pay for your children, yourselves, and your parents. With that being said, we usually pay almost everything for MIL when we take her on trips (hotels, airfare, food, etc.) because we use the trips as birthday/Christmas gifts for her. The only things we don't buy for her are souvenirs.

We do plan on taking some pretty big vacations without LO in the future, and I don't feel badly about it.

There is a difference between it being a gift and an expectation. I do not feel as though I should be paying for my family's food, hotel rooms, etc. For example, when my mother and grandmother came to my baby shower in Michigan, I drove them in my car. We shared a room and I paid for the entire thing. I am not sure if it was expected or not, but I will be making sure this does not happen in the future.

botanicalbliss · February 2013

lindsay.n.harman:
Pumpkin_Princess:

lindsay.n.harman:
My UO: I don't care that my parents are now older and financially took care of me, I expect them to still contribute. When it comes to family trips, events, etc, I expect them to pay their share and we pay ours. I know many people feel inclined to take care of their parents as they continue to age (and if something medical did happen, I would be there in an instant). However, financially footing their part of the bill (for vacations or trips), because they did so for me as I was growing up does not make sense to me.

I agree with this to a point. You are now starting a family of your own, and there is no reason that you should have to pay for your children, yourselves, and your parents. With that being said, we usually pay almost everything for MIL when we take her on trips (hotels, airfare, food, etc.) because we use the trips as birthday/Christmas gifts for her. The only things we don't buy for her are souvenirs.

We do plan on taking some pretty big vacations without LO in the future, and I don't feel badly about it.

There is a difference between it being a gift and an expectation. I do not feel as though I should be paying for my family's food, hotel rooms, etc. For example, when my mother and grandmother came to my baby shower in Michigan, I drove them in my car. We shared a room and I paid for the entire thing. I am not sure if it was expected or not, but I will be making sure this does not happen in the future.

Hold the phone - you live in MI?!

MotherMayEye · February 2013

MomlovesEloise:
MotherMayEye:
MomlovesEloise:
Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.
Yeah. I'm in the no spanking camp, but to say that these behaviors are because parent's do/don't spank is nuts. And for the record, biting and hitting is a normal part of toddler development. Most kids go through a hitting phase. It's only a parenting issue when you don't teach them that it is wrong and the right way to deal with anger. Bullying is a whole different can of worms.
I wouldn't call my opinion "nuts." Research has always shown that children learn by imitating adults. We can argue all the variables that might lead a child to hit and bit other kids (and yes, some of it is normal), but there really is no arguing that children learn by imitating adults.

I wasn't calling your opinion nuts. I was saying the idea that it was a cause/effect relationship one way or the other is nuts. I agree with you 100% that children learn by watching their parents. But the hitting/biting in itself is normal and most kids go through it. It's the kids that aren't shown another way to deal with anger and continue to be aggressive that are the issue.

I will agree there is no "one way or another." As I said, my parents used spanking as a disciplinary tool but took it very seriously. But if a child is spanked routinely out of hostility, that is a behavior they will learn, unless they 'unlearn' it.

After my daughter was bit in preschool, she went through a period of biting other kids. But, it was still a learned behavior. We had to address it though to get her to 'unlearn' it.

When she was a baby, she bit me once while breastfeeding and I reacted by gasping and that made her giggle. So she gave biting a whirl for a bit -- which is normal. But I don't consider a baby's behavior as something that is "bad" or "good."

Blueyed228 · February 2013

botanicalbliss:
There are too many variables involved to make a broad statement about what makes a kid a hitter/biter/bullier.

I totally agree.

LN1024 · February 2013

botanicalbliss:
lindsay.n.harman:
Pumpkin_Princess:

lindsay.n.harman:
My UO: I don't care that my parents are now older and financially took care of me, I expect them to still contribute. When it comes to family trips, events, etc, I expect them to pay their share and we pay ours. I know many people feel inclined to take care of their parents as they continue to age (and if something medical did happen, I would be there in an instant). However, financially footing their part of the bill (for vacations or trips), because they did so for me as I was growing up does not make sense to me.

I agree with this to a point. You are now starting a family of your own, and there is no reason that you should have to pay for your children, yourselves, and your parents. With that being said, we usually pay almost everything for MIL when we take her on trips (hotels, airfare, food, etc.) because we use the trips as birthday/Christmas gifts for her. The only things we don't buy for her are souvenirs.

We do plan on taking some pretty big vacations without LO in the future, and I don't feel badly about it.

There is a difference between it being a gift and an expectation. I do not feel as though I should be paying for my family's food, hotel rooms, etc. For example, when my mother and grandmother came to my baby shower in Michigan, I drove them in my car. We shared a room and I paid for the entire thing. I am not sure if it was expected or not, but I will be making sure this does not happen in the future.

Hold the phone - you live in MI?!

I currently live in NC but my husband's family lives in MI. He grew up there in the Grand Rapids area, more specifically, Holland. Ever heard of it? (Tulip Time!)

MotherMayEye · February 2013

Blueyed228:
MotherMayEye:
Blueyed228:
MomlovesEloise:
Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.
Yeah. I'm in the no spanking camp, but to say that these behaviors are because parent's do/don't spank is nuts. And for the record, biting and hitting is a normal part of toddler development. Most kids go through a hitting phase. It's only a parenting issue when you don't teach them that it is wrong and the right way to deal with anger. Bullying is a whole different can of worms.
This is exactly where I was going with it. I totally agree.
And to answer the "kids learn it somewhere", I know a few biters and hitters that dont have siblings, dont watch TV, were not spanked, and were the only "problem" child in their daycare. A daycare with children who are spanked and do not exhibit any violent behaviors.
Hmm...I can't really respond to this because I don't know that level of detail about the private lives of any large group of children.
Well thats weird because you made it seem like you did when you implied that the biters and hitters were the spanked kids and/or see people getting hit/spanked/violence in their homes.

Actually, what I said was this:

"But, the toddlers I know that are spanked for acting out are the absolute worst about hitting and biting other children."

I didn't intend to later imply that I know a daycare's worth of toddlers who are spanked.

botanicalbliss · February 2013

lindsay.n.harman:
botanicalbliss:
lindsay.n.harman:
Pumpkin_Princess:

lindsay.n.harman:
My UO: I don't care that my parents are now older and financially took care of me, I expect them to still contribute. When it comes to family trips, events, etc, I expect them to pay their share and we pay ours. I know many people feel inclined to take care of their parents as they continue to age (and if something medical did happen, I would be there in an instant). However, financially footing their part of the bill (for vacations or trips), because they did so for me as I was growing up does not make sense to me.

I agree with this to a point. You are now starting a family of your own, and there is no reason that you should have to pay for your children, yourselves, and your parents. With that being said, we usually pay almost everything for MIL when we take her on trips (hotels, airfare, food, etc.) because we use the trips as birthday/Christmas gifts for her. The only things we don't buy for her are souvenirs.

We do plan on taking some pretty big vacations without LO in the future, and I don't feel badly about it.

There is a difference between it being a gift and an expectation. I do not feel as though I should be paying for my family's food, hotel rooms, etc. For example, when my mother and grandmother came to my baby shower in Michigan, I drove them in my car. We shared a room and I paid for the entire thing. I am not sure if it was expected or not, but I will be making sure this does not happen in the future.

Hold the phone - you live in MI?!
I currently live in NC but my husband's family lives in MI. He grew up there in the Grand Rapids area, more specifically, Holland. Ever heard of it? (Tulip Time!)

Ugh, I LOVE NC! I'm in MI, but on the other side of the state!

pnutg · February 2013

Blueyed228:
MomlovesEloise:
Blueyed228:
There are just as many bullies, biters, hitters, etc that were not spanked.
Yeah. I'm in the no spanking camp, but to say that these behaviors are because parent's do/don't spank is nuts. And for the record, biting and hitting is a normal part of toddler development. Most kids go through a hitting phase. It's only a parenting issue when you don't teach them that it is wrong and the right way to deal with anger. Bullying is a whole different can of worms.
This is exactly where I was going with it.  I totally agree.
And to answer the "kids learn it somewhere", I know a few biters and hitters that dont have siblings, dont watch TV, were not spanked, and were the only "problem" child in their daycare.  A daycare with children who are spanked and do not exhibit any violent behaviors.

I totally agree. The 3 yr old I watch is a complete nightmare, her parents don't even raise their voices to her and wouldn't dream of spanking her and she's very physical with her 1 yr old brother. She hits, kicks, bites him in the back, etc. She certainly is not the product of spanking. She also has ZERO fear of consequences. Basically, she's just a brat and probably would have benefitted from spankings.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

Blueyed228:
botanicalbliss:
There are too many variables involved to make a broad statement about what makes a kid a hitter/biter/bullier.
I totally agree.

And I think it's too easy to take someone's specific examples and spin them into broad generalizations because it makes it easier to trump someone.

I have certainly been forthcoming in my opinion that spanking using a certain approach does not lead to hitting/biting/bullying. I gave my own parents as an example.

botanicalbliss · February 2013

MotherMayEye:
Blueyed228:
botanicalbliss:
There are too many variables involved to make a broad statement about what makes a kid a hitter/biter/bullier.
I totally agree.

And I think it's too easy to take someone's specific examples and spin them into broad generalizations because it makes it easier to trump someone.
I have certainly been forthcoming in my opinion that spanking using a certain approach does not lead to hitting/biting/bullying. I gave my own parents as an example.

Yes

senoritaemily · February 2013

MomlovesEloise:
Pumpkin_Princess:
I never have any good ones of my own, I usually just end up agreeing with everyone else.
This is what I came up with: I completely disagree with getting a baby's ears pierced. It's not the same as making decisions about your child's healthcare or education. It doesn't benefit the baby one way or the other, so I think that the child should have a say in whether or not he/she gets holes punched through his/her body. I have a friend that recently told me that she wanted to get her 1 month old daughter's ears pierced so that people wouldn't think that she's a boy. She already wears nothing but pink, so I don't know that the earrings would make a difference. I suggested that she try a headband first.
Eh, I wasn't crazy about it but it's a family tradition in H's family, so I let him pierce DD's ears at 4 months. I can see your point, but it's something that I think is dumb for me to be judged for.
Mine is pretty lame:
I think it's hilarious every time there's some media panic about horse meat in burgers, pink slime-ish goo, or someone finds something gnarly in their KFC. Americans are blissfully ignorant about the disgusting nature of their food. They jump on whatever bandwagon happens to roll by, but never realize that the majority of what they eat contains absolutely disgusting, perfectly legal filth.

Uh-oh, this is my soapbox subject On that note...

My UO is that I totally judge people who pay no attention what they eat (ie where it comes from, how it's grown or raised, how it impacts their health, etc). or eat fast food/processed food all the time. I am not saying I have a perfect diet, but I have educated myself enough to know what I should and should not put in my body, feed my kids, etc and how that choice impacts the food market and the environment.

My MIL was complaining the other day that her waiter at a restaurant asked her if she wanted her burger with grass-fed beef. She said she didn't appreciate having to think about the animal once being alive and eating its own meal. That comment annoyed me so much - that is the problem. People don't want to think about what they are consuming, they would rather be ignorant. If you can't bring yourself to picture that cow being a living, breathing future, and make peace with what you are eating, then you shouldn't eat it. If you don't want to see the process your burger or taco meat goes through before you pick it up in the drive through, because it grosses you out, then why would you eat it???

You might say it's none of my business what other people eat, which is only partially true. Other people's health = none of my business. But in many ways, it's everyone's business because supply is driven by demand. If people keep buying, for example, cheap hamburger from places like Wal-Mart, or McDonalds, then those public suppliers who serve a huge demand will continue to support a disgusting food industry that is dirty, inhumane, and pumps animals full or hormones and antibiotics. The same goes for organic vegetables; if more people demanded that their produce be raised without the use of chemicals, then it would become a standard and wouldn't cost an arm and a leg to buy this stuff.

Ok, soapbox speech over!

PS MomlovesEloise- I dig your kid's name

MrsJ723 · February 2013

My UO:
I think the pregnancy advice to sleep now while you can is stupid. You can't bank sleep, so while it is nice to enjoy your sleep, it isn't going to make a difference when the baby arrives.

Blueyed228 · February 2013

Im just gonna bite you all and see who spanks me first

botanicalbliss · February 2013

MrsJ723:
My UO: I think the pregnancy advice to sleep now while you can is stupid. You can't bank sleep, so while it is nice to enjoy your sleep, it isn't going to make a difference when the baby arrives.

Piggy-backing on this, I really dislike random drive-bys of already mommies giving "advice". I can see where they are coming from, but I really don't need more unsolicited advice. Also, we have lots of already mommies here who tell it like it is and are very helpful!

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