Mom shaming at lunch — The Bump
February 2012 Moms

Mom shaming at lunch

So I ended up taking that much needed day off to rest yesterday, thanks to you ladies for suggesting it and really giving me the kick I needed to take some down time!

I slept in, and then DH (who works afternoons, so was home), DS, and I went to our favourite sushi restaurant for lunch. We had finished our meal and DH went to the restroom. When he got up and left the table a waitress came over and started speaking to DS. Her english was not very good at all. She spoke to DS for a couple minutes just fussing over him, and then she stood up, looked me in the eye, and told me it was very sad that he had a soother and that I was ruining his teeth and had to stop doing that to him.

I was dumbfounded. Couldn't even speak.

I have been continuously assuring myself that her english was not good, and she probably didn't realize how offensive, and abrassive her choice of words was... but I'm still fuming. DH wanted me to call the restaurant and complain (I didn't tell him until we were out the door, otherwise I know he would have made a scene, he has a touchy temper).

Thoughts?

Has anyone else been stranger mommy-shamed?

Re: Mom shaming at lunch

  • Once, my sister had Allison and I was walking a little ahead of them, an older woman said "that baby should be wearing a hat."  When I turned around I saw that Allison had taken her hat off and was waving it around.  NBD in my head, it was like 45 out so not super cold.

    Honestly, these things are annoying but I generally let them go.  People don't have boundaries and I just ignore them.  She is my daughter to raise and one random person who saw her for an hour isn't going to change anything about what I do.

    Don't let them bug ya'

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    Lilypie - (y35Q)

  • Foreign or not, that chick was out of line. I probably wouldn't call and complain, but I would have given her earful when she did it.
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  • imagelancyjo:
    Foreign or not, that chick was out of line. I probably wouldn't call and complain, but I would have given her earful when she did it.

    I had one of those situations where you're totally speechless in the moment and then a few minutes later, after the fact, have about a zillion things that you'd love to have said. I was just so taken aback I couldn't form coherent thoughts.

  • I've gotten comments before, too, although none that said I was a bad parent. I don't know what I would have done in your situation, but with my personality I would just let it roll off my back. People make such ridiculous comments and have no idea what your life is like! If you feel the need to call the manager, I don't think that is a bad idea but probably not necessary. Next time you should say something to the lady.


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  • imageAshleyAnthony2B:

    imagelancyjo:
    Foreign or not, that chick was out of line. I probably wouldn't call and complain, but I would have given her earful when she did it.

    I had one of those situations where you're totally speechless in the moment and then a few minutes later, after the fact, have about a zillion things that you'd love to have said. I was just so taken aback I couldn't form coherent thoughts.



    I hate when that happens. You know you rock at this mom thing though, so don't take her words to heart. Big Smile
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  • imagelancyjo:
    imageAshleyAnthony2B:

    imagelancyjo:
    Foreign or not, that chick was out of line. I probably wouldn't call and complain, but I would have given her earful when she did it.

    I had one of those situations where you're totally speechless in the moment and then a few minutes later, after the fact, have about a zillion things that you'd love to have said. I was just so taken aback I couldn't form coherent thoughts.

    I hate when that happens. You know you rock at this mom thing though, so don't take her words to heart. Big Smile

    I wish I had have pulled the plug and let DS tell her what he thought of her attitude lol. Teething baby, and then last night I brought him to urgent care, turns out he has an ear infection. Needless to say, that soother was there for everyone's protection lol

  • I was putting Reece in a shopping cart back when he was in a carrier and I had an old couple give me the naughty finger for sticking him in the front part of the cart. I got flamed for this awhile back but I literally held onto his carrier the entire time never ever walked away from him nor let go.
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  • Ava loves to take her socks off all the time, I will ususually put them back on right away but sometimes I miss it, or I just give up. I get so many comments from people about how her feet must be so cold and I really need to put socks on her etc. Even when she will still have a sock on one foot so it is obvious that she took it off or it fell off.
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  • imageSrhA1984:
    Ava loves to take her socks off all the time, I will ususually put them back on right away but sometimes I miss it, or I just give up. I get so many comments from people about how her feet must be so cold and I really need to put socks on her etc. Even when she will still have a sock on one foot so it is obvious that she took it off or it fell off.


    I get this a lot too. Aria refuses to keep socks on most of the time. I got shamed by an old lady in Walmart after an extremely long, terrible day at work... So I snarked, "if you think she needs socks on, YOU do it." She actually tried. And then she apologized when Aria had the first one off before the second was on. I was still a bit snarky, because after she said sorry, I said, "and now you know better than to judge others. I know full well what I'm doing and how to care for my daughter."

    Sigh... Not one of my better moments, but it had been an awful day.
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  • imagelancyjo:
    imageSrhA1984:
    Ava loves to take her socks off all the time, I will ususually put them back on right away but sometimes I miss it, or I just give up. I get so many comments from people about how her feet must be so cold and I really need to put socks on her etc. Even when she will still have a sock on one foot so it is obvious that she took it off or it fell off.
    I get this a lot too. Aria refuses to keep socks on most of the time. I got shamed by an old lady in Walmart after an extremely long, terrible day at work... So I snarked, "if you think she needs socks on, YOU do it." She actually tried. And then she apologized when Aria had the first one off before the second was on. I was still a bit snarky, because after she said sorry, I said, "and now you know better than to judge others. I know full well what I'm doing and how to care for my daughter." Sigh... Not one of my better moments, but it had been an awful day.
    That's not one of your better moments? That is amazing. I think that was just the right amount of snark. That lady will probably remember that next time, and I don't think you were disrespectful at all.
  • imageAshleyAnthony2B:
    imagelancyjo:
    imageSrhA1984:
    Ava loves to take her socks off all the time, I will ususually put them back on right away but sometimes I miss it, or I just give up. I get so many comments from people about how her feet must be so cold and I really need to put socks on her etc. Even when she will still have a sock on one foot so it is obvious that she took it off or it fell off.


    I get this a lot too. Aria refuses to keep socks on most of the time. I got shamed by an old lady in Walmart after an extremely long, terrible day at work... So I snarked, "if you think she needs socks on, YOU do it." She actually tried. And then she apologized when Aria had the first one off before the second was on. I was still a bit snarky, because after she said sorry, I said, "and now you know better than to judge others. I know full well what I'm doing and how to care for my daughter."

    Sigh... Not one of my better moments, but it had been an awful day.

    That's not one of your better moments? That is amazing. I think that was just the right amount of snark. That lady will probably remember that next time, and I don't think you were disrespectful at all.


    Awesome. :0] thank you!
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  • I got alot of *** for keeping Timothy's hair long.  When people realized by the clothing he was a boy.  They made it sound like I was immasculating him for leaving his hair so long.  Uh hello ever hear of Sampson??? 

    Anyway it was out of line. But I wouldn't have called to complain either.  Especially if it's your favorite place you want to go back without it being weird. 

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