UO

Blueyed228 · February 2013

cromie713:
jerseygirl81:
I think walmart/sears/JCP/picture people pictures are pretty horrible.
I'd venture to guess this is actually a pretty popular opinion haha. We went to picture people when DS was 6 months old because we had a coupon and the pictures turned out soooo bad. The girl was literally like 17 and had no idea what she was doing.
Mine is that I don't think most "funny" shows on TV are funny... like Modern Family, Park and Rec, 30 Rock etc do nothing for me !

Agree about the shows. Ive never found them funny.

TheyCalledHerKate · February 2013

I have never encountered a parent who didn't spank out of anger and frustration and I think it's a slipperly slope between discipline and abuse (or something that can escalate to abuse if the parent doesn't have control over their actions). I think because I was hit and spanked as a child, I am totally biased and I don't think I could ever do that to my child because I know how it made me feel...but like I said, my view is skewed because I've never seen a parent who spanked "the right way."

MomlovesEloise · February 2013

botanicalbliss:
MomlovesEloise:
botanicalbliss:
pnutg:
I am pro spanking, when used appropriately I think its totally fine.
Nope. 100% against spanking here! I don't believe violence or fear are good educational techniques.
I'm bump crushing you so hard today.
Spanking is lazy parenting. Just because they don't understand verbal reasoning, doesn't mean you have to use your hands.
I've never had a bump crush before!

1and1is3 · February 2013

TheyCalledHerKate:
I have never encountered a parent who didn't spank out of anger and frustration and I think it's a slipperly slope between discipline and abuse (or something that can escalate to abuse if the parent doesn't have control over their actions). I think because I was hit and spanked as a child, I am totally biased and I don't think I could ever do that to my child because I know how it made me feel...but like I said, my view is skewed because I've never seen a parent who spanked "the right way."

This makes me so sad I think this is the reason that there are so many against spanking. I was spanked the right way and I am soooo thankful that I was! I would have been a very unproductive member of society if I weren't spanked. (NOT saying that everyone who isn't spanked is an unproductive member of society!!) I would have been unproductive because I never would have grasped the concept that there is a consequence for every action you take.

It really bothers me when I see parents spank in anger. As for the laziness aspect, a good parent will sit the kid down and explan why they got spanked! If they are about to touch the hot stove you will explain action vs consequences thing. I realize that some kids will just touch the hot stove and get burned and that is the only way they will learn but it just seems more humane to me to spank and explain rather than letting them learn for themselves... (shrugs)

Not trying to change anyone's mind though, I just want to point out that not all parents who spank give a skewed view.

be888 · February 2013

MommaG123:
b&e888:
2013sarabelleATX:
3. I think it's weird when moms-to-be register for boob supplies. Yes, I will need a pump, nursing pads and other breast accessories, but I will buy them myself.
ETA #3.
I agree with this. I want to nurse myself, but I did not put the breast pump on our registry. I would not put formula on a registry either.
I put it on there so I could get the 10 or 15% off once I got the completion coupon. Although I think I added all those at the end after I had my shower.

I may have to do that after my shower. That's a great idea.

Blueyed228 · February 2013

I think red lipstick is ugly and makes people look

like a clown. Add hot pink to that as well.

1and1is3 · February 2013

Blueyed228:
I think red lipstick is ugly and makes people look
like a clown. Add hot pink to that as well.

I second this

be888 · February 2013

Blueyed228:
I think red lipstick is ugly and makes people look
like a clown. Add hot pink to that as well.

I agree to a point. When it is well applied, I think it can be gorgeous. I'm a fan myself. I don't like older ladies with red lipstick that bleed around the mouth though.

ScottsdaleMama · February 2013

MomlovesEloise:
botanicalbliss:
pnutg:
I am pro spanking, when used appropriately I think its totally fine.
Nope.  100% against spanking here!  I don't believe violence or fear are good educational techniques.  
I'm bump crushing you so hard today.
Spanking is lazy parenting. Just because they don't understand verbal reasoning, doesn't mean you have to use your hands. 

I am not a big proponent of spanking. I don't buy the whole 'doesn't understand reason' argument anyway. I know it depends on the individual child but my 2 yo niece responded to short 'time outs' and a discussion about why she was put in time out. It took a lot more effort on my part but she always learned her lesson. I don't understand spanking a child to avoid dangerous behaviors, I find it counterintuitive. I also believe spanking is a slippery slope, but that could just be my MS in Psychology talking. I think there are healthier ways to teach lessons, even when the child is young and not able to carry on a conversation, but they take much more parental effort.

1and1is3 · February 2013

botanicalbliss:
Blueyed228:
Cue the 8 page spanking debate.
Yep....
I know my opinions aren't going to change anyone's mind, but I feel like sharing.

This is what I love about UO day! I love hearing both sides of an issue. I rarely change my mind but its good for me to hear the other side. It helps me feel more educated

botanicalbliss · February 2013

1and1is3:
TheyCalledHerKate:
I have never encountered a parent who didn't spank out of anger and frustration and I think it's a slipperly slope between discipline and abuse (or something that can escalate to abuse if the parent doesn't have control over their actions). I think because I was hit and spanked as a child, I am totally biased and I don't think I could ever do that to my child because I know how it made me feel...but like I said, my view is skewed because I've never seen a parent who spanked "the right way."
This makes me so sad I think this is the reason that there are so many against spanking. I was spanked the right way and I am soooo thankful that I was! I would have been a very unproductive member of society if I weren't spanked. (NOT saying that everyone who isn't spanked is an unproductive member of society!!) I would have been unproductive because I never would have grasped the concept that there is a consequence for every action you take.
It really bothers me when I see parents spank in anger. As for the laziness aspect, a good parent will sit the kid down and explan why they got spanked! If they are about to touch the hot stove you will explain action vs consequences thing. I realize that some kids will just touch the hot stove and get burned and that is the only way they will learn but it just seems more humane to me to spank and explain rather than letting them learn for themselves... (shrugs)
Not trying to change anyone's mind though, I just want to point out that not all parents who spank give a skewed view.

So you spank before you explain or after? I don't see why you can't just explain to the kid what they did wrong and use another form of punishment. I don't really understand how someone can calmly or rationally spank their kid.

Remove kid from situation. Explain situation. Institute punishment if necessary.

Blueyed228 · February 2013

My UO is that I think judging how other people parent is stupid. There is no difference between judging BF vs formula, attachment vs non-attachment, homeschool vs traditional school, spanking vs time-outs, circumsision vs not, ear piercing vs not, etc.

Its not your child. Its none of your business.

caden1206 · February 2013

pnutg:
I am pro spanking, when used appropriately I think its totally fine.

I did not spank my son. I will be spanking this LO if needed, with love of course. Just sayin'.

seblackb · February 2013

1and1is3:
Blueyed228:

I think red lipstick is ugly and makes people look

like a clown. Add hot pink to that as well.

I second this

Personally, I love red lipstick or any bold color when it's done right. It's probably my favorite look for a more formal event or night out. For me, the key is using a lipliner to prevent bleeding, very subtle eye makeup (like eyeliner, mascara, very little eye shadow) and highlighting the bones in the face rather than using blush. Then I don't look like I'm wearing too much makeup.

In terms of hot pink - I think it doesn't work for everyone's skin tone, but I like certain shades.

botanicalbliss · February 2013

Blueyed228:
My UO is that I think judging how other people parent is stupid. There is no difference between judging BF vs formula, attachment vs non-attachment, homeschool vs traditional school, spanking vs time-outs, circumsision vs not, ear piercing vs not, etc.
Its not your child. Its none of your business.

But then what would we talk about?!

ETA: I think a lot of times as PP said, it's interesting to hear all sides and try to understand where the other person is coming from. I think we have a pretty non-judgmental board despite the different view points.

slweaver0626 · February 2013

1and1is3:
pnutg:
I am pro spanking, when used appropriately I think its totally fine.
I have a feeling yours will be a super unpopluar opinion. I agree with you though. When used in the right context and followed by a lot of loving it is a necessary tool IMO. I am however against those who spank in anger or spank because they are annoyed with the child rather than spank to teach the child.
EDIT: To say I am guessing that is what you mean by "appropriately".

DH and I agree with you. We have seen that our niece and nephews get several verbal warnings about bad behaviors and then a spanking. I think it's more than fair that the kid was warned multiple times (sometimes in an hour) and they still did it.

DH and I both got the belt as kids and are OK with open handed spanking.

My UO: My children will NOT be getting a cell phone or any kind of wireless enabled device until they have a job and are capable of paying the bill themselves.

Blueyed228 · February 2013

botanicalbliss:
Blueyed228:
My UO is that I think judging how other people parent is stupid. There is no difference between judging BF vs formula, attachment vs non-attachment, homeschool vs traditional school, spanking vs time-outs, circumsision vs not, ear piercing vs not, etc.
Its not your child. Its none of your business.
But then what would we talk about?!
ETA: I think a lot of times as PP said, it's interesting to hear all sides and try to understand where the other person is coming from. I think we have a pretty non-judgmental board despite the different view points.

Meh. I think responding to someone who said they believe in spanking by saying "Oh well I would NEVER use VIOLENCE AND FEAR to raise MY child" comes off a little bit like "Well I would NEVER use formula because I love my child and BREAST IS BEST".

But thats how I took it. It came off as pretty judgy.

ETA: It also came off that anyone who spanks is a child abuser.

botanicalbliss · February 2013

Blueyed228:
botanicalbliss:
Blueyed228:
My UO is that I think judging how other people parent is stupid. There is no difference between judging BF vs formula, attachment vs non-attachment, homeschool vs traditional school, spanking vs time-outs, circumsision vs not, ear piercing vs not, etc.
Its not your child. Its none of your business.
But then what would we talk about?!
ETA: I think a lot of times as PP said, it's interesting to hear all sides and try to understand where the other person is coming from. I think we have a pretty non-judgmental board despite the different view points.
Meh. I think responding to someone who said they believe in spanking by saying "Oh well I would NEVER use VIOLENCE AND FEAR to raise MY child" comes off a little bit like "Well I would NEVER use formula because I love my child and BREAST IS BEST".
But thats how I took it. It came off as pretty judgy.

I feel like any time you hit anyone it is out of violence and creates fear. That is the nature of striking another living thing.

Others don't see it that way. I was just expressing my view.

I also don't like little kids getting spanked, so maybe it is a little judgy. Oh well. I'm not going to flame her for it or get all up in her business and try to change her mind.

botanicalbliss · February 2013

2013sarabelleATX:
Blueyed228:
My UO is that I think judging how other people parent is stupid. There is no difference between judging BF vs formula, attachment vs non-attachment, homeschool vs traditional school, spanking vs time-outs, circumsision vs not, ear piercing vs not, etc.
Its not your child. Its none of your business.
I think you can judge the action without judging the person, and that judgement plays a part in how we form our opinions and choose our own actions. My friends purchased a house with shoddy foundation for way too much money - I judged the action. They're not stupid people just made a stupid decision that they now admit to several years later. (Purposely kept this example out of the baby/child rearing realm).

You said it better.

MomlovesEloise · February 2013

This board is one step away from AE callouts and GBCBs.

be888 · February 2013

Blueyed228:
botanicalbliss:
Blueyed228:
My UO is that I think judging how other people parent is stupid. There is no difference between judging BF vs formula, attachment vs non-attachment, homeschool vs traditional school, spanking vs time-outs, circumsision vs not, ear piercing vs not, etc.
Its not your child. Its none of your business.
But then what would we talk about?!
ETA: I think a lot of times as PP said, it's interesting to hear all sides and try to understand where the other person is coming from. I think we have a pretty non-judgmental board despite the different view points.
Meh. I think responding to someone who said they believe in spanking by saying "Oh well I would NEVER use VIOLENCE AND FEAR to raise MY child" comes off a little bit like "Well I would NEVER use formula because I love my child and BREAST IS BEST".
But thats how I took it. It came off as pretty judgy.
ETA: It also came off that anyone who spanks is a child abuser.

I could not have said it better myself.

I was spanked as a child. Out of frustration sometimes, probably, I don't remember it. I don't think I will spank my own child, but I certainly don't expect to talk and explain everything without screaming sometimes out of frustration.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

AllieAGame:
botanicalbliss:
pnutg:
I am pro spanking, when used appropriately I think its totally fine.
Nope. 100% against spanking here! I don't believe violence or fear are good educational techniques.
I respect your view and wouldn't push for anyone to feel the way I feel (pro-spanking). But I see spanking as more of a shock to the child to deter dangerous behavior and a way to get their attention rather than a violent or fearful situation. I also don't think spanking does any good on kids older than 4 or 5- at that point the child can understand punishment and consequences and some logic. A three year old won't necessarily be able to equate a toy being taken away with "I shouldn't touch the stove" whereas a few seconds of a sting to the butt makes an immediate impression.

I don't have as much of a problem with spanking and swatting when a child is going for something dangerous...sometimes it's just a person's gut reaction and there's not a lot of time to stop and regroup.

But, the toddlers I know that are spanked for acting out are the absolute worst about hitting and biting other children. Toddlers model their behavior on what they see and experience. So if they are hit, then they hit other people...including mom & dad.

[EDIT: So, while I totally agree with Blueyed about not judging other parents, I draw the line when my son or daughter comes home from preschool with bite marks and bruises from kids who have been taught how to react violently from their parents.]

ScottsdaleMama · February 2013

2013sarabelleATX:
Blueyed228:
My UO is that I think judging how other people parent is stupid.  There is no difference between judging BF vs formula, attachment vs non-attachment, homeschool vs traditional school, spanking vs time-outs, circumsision vs not, ear piercing vs not, etc.
Its not your child.  Its none of your business.
I think you can judge the action without judging the person, and that judgement plays a part in how we form our opinions and choose our own actions. My friends purchased a house with shoddy foundation for way too much money - I judged the action. They're not stupid people just made a stupid decision that they now admit to several years later. (Purposely kept this example out of the baby/child rearing realm). 

This exactly. I feel like everyone is entitled to their opinions about how to raise their children. I couldn't care less if someone wants to spank their child, I was just explaining why I personally won't be using spanking as a teaching/punishment tool.

Blueyed228 · February 2013

botanicalbliss:
Blueyed228:
botanicalbliss:
Blueyed228:
My UO is that I think judging how other people parent is stupid. There is no difference between judging BF vs formula, attachment vs non-attachment, homeschool vs traditional school, spanking vs time-outs, circumsision vs not, ear piercing vs not, etc.
Its not your child. Its none of your business.
But then what would we talk about?!
ETA: I think a lot of times as PP said, it's interesting to hear all sides and try to understand where the other person is coming from. I think we have a pretty non-judgmental board despite the different view points.
Meh. I think responding to someone who said they believe in spanking by saying "Oh well I would NEVER use VIOLENCE AND FEAR to raise MY child" comes off a little bit like "Well I would NEVER use formula because I love my child and BREAST IS BEST".
But thats how I took it. It came off as pretty judgy.
I feel like any time you hit anyone it is out of violence and creates fear. That is the nature of striking another living thing.
Others don't see it that way. I was just expressing my view.
I also don't like little kids getting spanked, so maybe it is a little judgy. Oh well. I'm not going to flame her for it or get all up in her business and try to change her mind.

I see what your saying, I just guess a better example would be if you and I were sitting next to each other feeding out babies. I was nursing and you were formula feeding. I turn to you and say "oh formula? I could never feed my child that poison." Then you turning and saying "what? mind your business." and me saying
Oh im not judging YOU, I just think formula is poison."

Either way, no biggie. Im sure peoples different experiences with spanking affect their view on it.

botanicalbliss · February 2013

Blueyed228:
botanicalbliss:
Blueyed228:
botanicalbliss:
Blueyed228:
My UO is that I think judging how other people parent is stupid. There is no difference between judging BF vs formula, attachment vs non-attachment, homeschool vs traditional school, spanking vs time-outs, circumsision vs not, ear piercing vs not, etc.
Its not your child. Its none of your business.
But then what would we talk about?!
ETA: I think a lot of times as PP said, it's interesting to hear all sides and try to understand where the other person is coming from. I think we have a pretty non-judgmental board despite the different view points.
Meh. I think responding to someone who said they believe in spanking by saying "Oh well I would NEVER use VIOLENCE AND FEAR to raise MY child" comes off a little bit like "Well I would NEVER use formula because I love my child and BREAST IS BEST".
But thats how I took it. It came off as pretty judgy.
I feel like any time you hit anyone it is out of violence and creates fear. That is the nature of striking another living thing.
Others don't see it that way. I was just expressing my view.
I also don't like little kids getting spanked, so maybe it is a little judgy. Oh well. I'm not going to flame her for it or get all up in her business and try to change her mind.
I see what your saying, I just guess a better example would be if you and I were sitting next to each other feeding out babies. I was nursing and you were formula feeding. I turn to you and say "oh formula? I could never feed my child that poison." Then you turning and saying "what? mind your business." and me saying
Oh im not judging YOU, I just think formula is poison."
Either way, no biggie. Im sure peoples different experiences with spanking affect their view on it.

I think that example is a bit extreme, but I see your point. And, I agree. I'm sure that being spanked as a child has an affect on my stance.

Funny story about spanking: One time, when my DH was little he got spanked by his dad and says it didn't hurt, but he cried anyway so his dad's feelings wouldn't be hurt!

Blueyed228 · February 2013

My other UO is that I dont care that the Pope is leaving and not looking forward to the next week or 2 of non-stop Pope-Watch on all channels.

kmcd23 · February 2013

botanicalbliss:
MomlovesEloise:
Pumpkin_Princess:
I never have any good ones of my own, I usually just end up agreeing with everyone else.
This is what I came up with: I completely disagree with getting a baby's ears pierced. It's not the same as making decisions about your child's healthcare or education. It doesn't benefit the baby one way or the other, so I think that the child should have a say in whether or not he/she gets holes punched through his/her body. I have a friend that recently told me that she wanted to get her 1 month old daughter's ears pierced so that people wouldn't think that she's a boy. She already wears nothing but pink, so I don't know that the earrings would make a difference. I suggested that she try a headband first.  
Eh, I wasn't crazy about it but it's a family tradition in H's family, so I let him pierce DD's ears at 4 months. I can see your point, but it's not something I judge people for.
 Mine is pretty lame:
I think it's hilarious every time there's some media panic about horse meat in burgers, pink slime-ish goo, or someone finds something gnarly in their KFC. Americans are blissfully ignorant about the disgusting nature of their food. They jump on whatever bandwagon happens to roll by, but never realize that the majority of what they eat contains absolutely disgusting, perfectly legal filth. 
In regards to the ear piercing, I wouldn't do it, personally, but it's not permanent.  If the kid doesn't want her ears pierced she can take them out later.  Plus, I don't know any little girls who says, "You know Mom, I'd really love to not ever wear earrings."  
In regards to the food thing  We eat so much gross stuff. 

Disagree. My Mom had mine done when I was 5, and while I loved it then, I hated it by the time I was a teenage because they weren't even and one hole was crooked. So I left them out for years, and those suckers never closed up. 30 years later, I've still got crooked, uneven earring holes that I wish I didn't have.

botanicalbliss · February 2013

kmcd23:
botanicalbliss:
MomlovesEloise:
Pumpkin_Princess:
I never have any good ones of my own, I usually just end up agreeing with everyone else.
This is what I came up with: I completely disagree with getting a baby's ears pierced. It's not the same as making decisions about your child's healthcare or education. It doesn't benefit the baby one way or the other, so I think that the child should have a say in whether or not he/she gets holes punched through his/her body. I have a friend that recently told me that she wanted to get her 1 month old daughter's ears pierced so that people wouldn't think that she's a boy. She already wears nothing but pink, so I don't know that the earrings would make a difference. I suggested that she try a headband first.
Eh, I wasn't crazy about it but it's a family tradition in H's family, so I let him pierce DD's ears at 4 months. I can see your point, but it's not something I judge people for.
Mine is pretty lame:
I think it's hilarious every time there's some media panic about horse meat in burgers, pink slime-ish goo, or someone finds something gnarly in their KFC. Americans are blissfully ignorant about the disgusting nature of their food. They jump on whatever bandwagon happens to roll by, but never realize that the majority of what they eat contains absolutely disgusting, perfectly legal filth.
In regards to the ear piercing, I wouldn't do it, personally, but it's not permanent. If the kid doesn't want her ears pierced she can take them out later. Plus, I don't know any little girls who says, "You know Mom, I'd really love to not ever wear earrings."
In regards to the food thing We eat so much gross stuff.
Disagree. My Mom had mine done when I was 5, and while I loved it then, I hated it by the time I was a teenage because they weren't even and one hole was crooked. So I left them out for years, and those suckers never closed up. 30 years later, I've still got crooked, uneven earring holes that I wish I didn't have.

Yikes! That totally sucks.

burkems · February 2013

Blueyed228:
My other UO is that I dont care that the Pope is leaving and not looking forward to the next week or 2 of nonstop PopeWatch on all channels.

ugh, right?! I'm at the waiting room for another half hour until they can do my draw for my GTT and I'm stuck with this crap.

Blueyed228 · February 2013

burkems:
Blueyed228:
My other UO is that I dont care that the Pope is leaving and not looking forward to the next week or 2 of nonstop PopeWatch on all channels.
ugh, right?! I'm at the waiting room for another half hour until they can do my draw for my GTT and I'm stuck with this crap.

Im just mad im missing The View.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

Blueyed228:
burkems:
Blueyed228:
My other UO is that I dont care that the Pope is leaving and not looking forward to the next week or 2 of nonstop PopeWatch on all channels.
ugh, right?! I'm at the waiting room for another half hour until they can do my draw for my GTT and I'm stuck with this crap.
Im just mad im missing The View.

The View? You should have saved this shameful gem for FFFC.

Blueyed228 · February 2013

MotherMayEye:
Blueyed228:
burkems:
Blueyed228:
My other UO is that I dont care that the Pope is leaving and not looking forward to the next week or 2 of nonstop PopeWatch on all channels.
ugh, right?! I'm at the waiting room for another half hour until they can do my draw for my GTT and I'm stuck with this crap.
Im just mad im missing The View.
The View? You should have saved this shameful gem for FFFC.

Haha. I only watch it to re-inforce my hatred of Whoopie and Joy. Ive never wanted to face punch 2 women more in my life. But I like the guests. And there really isnt much else on at 11 here.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

Blueyed228:
MotherMayEye:
Blueyed228:
burkems:
Blueyed228:
My other UO is that I dont care that the Pope is leaving and not looking forward to the next week or 2 of nonstop PopeWatch on all channels.
ugh, right?! I'm at the waiting room for another half hour until they can do my draw for my GTT and I'm stuck with this crap.
Im just mad im missing The View.
The View? You should have saved this shameful gem for FFFC.
Haha. I only watch it to re-inforce my hatred of Whoopie and Joy. Ive never wanted to face punch 2 women more in my life. But I like the guests. And there really isnt much else on at 11 here.

Fair enough. This is exactly the reason I don't watch it.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

PetraStonegirl:
I believe that if you hurt someone (or a group of people) even unintentionally and they call you on it, you need to apologize and suck it up and listen to them tell you how you hurt them. You don't get to apologize AND defend yourself at the same time. The two are mutually exclusive. Doing the second cancels out having done the first. Truth IRL and truth on the Bump, too.

I think this one comes with age. At some point, you realize that you are better off for sucking it all up, apologizing, and for recognizing that someone else may have a valid point.

Even my sister -- who always used to have to be right and have the last word -- eventually learned how to let go and apologize.

mytinc · February 2013

MotherMayEye:
AllieAGame:
botanicalbliss:
pnutg:
I am pro spanking, when used appropriately I think its totally fine.
Nope.  100% against spanking here!  I don't believe violence or fear are good educational techniques.  
I respect your view and wouldn't push for anyone to feel the way I feel (pro-spanking). But I see spanking as more of a shock to the child to deter dangerous behavior and a way to get their attention rather than a violent or fearful situation. I also don't think spanking does any good on kids older than 4 or 5- at that point the child can understand punishment and consequences and some logic. A three year old won't necessarily be able to equate a toy being taken away with "I shouldn't touch the stove" whereas a few seconds of a sting to the butt makes an immediate impression.
 
I don't have as much of a problem with spanking and swatting when a child is going for something dangerous...sometimes it's just a person's gut reaction and there's not a lot of time to stop and regroup.
But, the toddlers I know that are spanked for acting out are the absolute worst about hitting and biting other children. Toddlers model their behavior on what they see and experience. So if they are hit, then they hit other people...including mom & dad.
 
[EDIT: So, while I totally agree with Blueyed about not judging other parents, I draw the line when my son or daughter comes home from preschool with bite marks and bruises from kids who have been taught how to react violently from their parents.]

I was spanked as a child and it didn't make me react violently towards other children. I remember being bitten in daycare by another child and I have no idea if they were spanked or not. I think your statement is a bit too broad.

rebaann · February 2013

Why must everything have some slogan like "Daddy's Princess" or some other crap embroidered on it? I want to spend money but every cute outfit has words on it.

jerseygirl81 · February 2013

beaubecca:
TheyCalledHerKate:
I have never encountered a parent who didn't spank out of anger and frustration and I think it's a slipperly slope between discipline and abuse (or something that can escalate to abuse if the parent doesn't have control over their actions). I think because I was hit and spanked as a child, I am totally biased and I don't think I could ever do that to my child because I know how it made me feel...but like I said, my view is skewed because I've never seen a parent who spanked "the right way."
My parents never spanked my sisters or me - not even once. My dad threatened to once or twice, but in the end they could never do it. So there definitely are parents who never have spanked.

Same here. I was never spanked, and I have never laid a hand on my own child.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

mytinc:
MotherMayEye:
I don't have as much of a problem with spanking and swatting when a child is going for something dangerous...sometimes it's just a person's gut reaction and there's not a lot of time to stop and regroup.
But, the toddlers I know that are spanked for acting out are the absolute worst about hitting and biting other children. Toddlers model their behavior on what they see and experience. So if they are hit, then they hit other people...including mom & dad.

[EDIT: So, while I totally agree with Blueyed about not judging other parents, I draw the line when my son or daughter comes home from preschool with bite marks and bruises from kids who have been taught how to react violently from their parents.]
I was spanked as a child and it didn't make me react violently towards other children. I remember being bitten in daycare by another child and I have no idea if they were spanked or not. I think your statement is a bit too broad.

Yes, it was definitely too broad if it sounded like I meant every child who is spanked turns out to be a bully. Of course that is not true. I was also spanked and was not a hitter or a bully.

But, there is a hostile environment of constant spanking and slapping that rubs off on some kids. Some that I know personally.

[EDIT: Per Kate's comment...when my parents spanked me it was a very serious and big deal. There was always a lecture first, sometimes my Dad would get choked up, even. I was not spanked 'in the moment,' it was something my parents talked to me about, before and after. And I always felt it weighed heavy on their minds when it happened -- which was rare. Never did I feel like they were just out of control, or being mean & ugly.]

pnutg · February 2013

AllieAGame:
1and1is3:
pnutg:
I am pro spanking, when used appropriately I think its totally fine.
I have a feeling yours will be a super unpopluar opinion.  I agree with you though. When used in the right context and followed by a lot of loving it is a necessary tool IMO. I am however against those who spank in anger or spank because they are annoyed with the child rather than spank to teach the child. 
EDIT: To say I am guessing that is what you mean by "appropriately". 
I, too, am pro-spanking, especially younger kids. You just can't reason with a toddler, you know? I will say, I think it's best to limit spanking to deter dangerous behavior (reaching for the stove, playing with electric sockets, running away from you) rather than simply as punishment for regular misbehaving.

Yes I agree.

MotherMayEye · February 2013

pnutg:
AllieAGame:
1and1is3:
pnutg:
I am pro spanking, when used appropriately I think its totally fine.
I have a feeling yours will be a super unpopluar opinion. I agree with you though. When used in the right context and followed by a lot of loving it is a necessary tool IMO. I am however against those who spank in anger or spank because they are annoyed with the child rather than spank to teach the child.
EDIT: To say I am guessing that is what you mean by "appropriately".
I, too, am pro-spanking, especially younger kids. You just can't reason with a toddler, you know? I will say, I think it's best to limit spanking to deter dangerous behavior (reaching for the stove, playing with electric sockets, running away from you) rather than simply as punishment for regular misbehaving.
Yes I agree.

Actually, toddlers understand perfectly when you stick to your guns and tell them "You are not playing with your -fill in the blank- for the rest of the day. And if you really do follow through with that punishment, it works wonders the next time you have to use it as a warning for them to straighten up.

There may be tears & fits in the moment, but in the long run it really is a lot more effective than spanking, in my experience.

Want a personalized experience?

UO

Re: UO

Choose Another Board

Search Boards