I said the words this week and I am not happy about it. My mom is just too unstable, too sick. She is really fading and seems to be getting worse each day the last couple of months. I am overwhelmed. I have too much to figure out. Our SW called this week to see how we wanted to proceed after not getting the trio we put our homestudy in for in December, and I let her know that we needed to take a break and re-evaluate each month. I did not like saying that. This is the season we are in. I keep telling myself that. Sometimes I wonder why God has shut so many doors for us. Maybe we are not meant to be parents. Maybe we are meant to be missionaries one day when we are not taking care of our own parents, or join the circus. I always liked elephants.