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When did you feel like a mom?
DD is 5 months old tomorrow and I still don't know that I feel like a "mom." I never felt like a babysitter, but I just am not sure I feel like a mom either.. I don't know what I feel like.
Am I alone in this?
Married Since 09/2006, TTC Since 09/2010
DX: Unexplained infertility, DH normal
3 Femara cycles - Oct, Nov, Dec 2011, all BFNs
IVF #1, ER 2/15 (5R, 4M, 4F), ET 2/18, Beta 2/29 = BFN 
Follistim + IUI on 6/25 = BFN
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Officially Matched 8/29/12, Our perfect angel born 9/25/12!
Biggest surprise ever, unexpected BFP on 4/12/13!
Our Angel through Adoption
Our Little Miracle
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Re: When did you feel like a mom?
I felt super protective of him, I loved him, I worried about him, and didn't want to be apart from him for long, but it wasnt intense at first, and it wasn't like now, where I can't imagine life without him. I just think my "mom" identity and that close bonding took a while to come in for me. Probably just my personality. I also went from working to staying home, so I think that may have made that identity shift harder also.
It will come, I promise. Good luck in the mean time, and try not to sweat it.
Sounds a lot like me. I also went from working to SAH and I enjoyed working so it was a bigger transition than for some. Glad to hear I'm not alone, thanks!
Oh you are not alone. I think that it's different for each of us. I brought my son home at 4 months old and I think I didn't allow myself to feel like a mom because his adoption wasn't going to be able to be finalized until he was around a year old. So a little self protection I think. I sometimes still don't quite feel like a mom and he is almost 3 yrs old, it's hard to explain until you experience it.
Everything was expedited everything for me, because within less than a month of bringing M home, he went through open heart surgery. I first felt like a mom when they explained the surgery could be significantly more risky than we were led to believe. And then again when I almost lunged at the specialized "pain team" of doctors who told me that they couldn't figure out why the overwhelming cocktail of drugs they gave him didn't work and wouldn't give him any more until some of them wore off, despite his agonizing pain.
But, in day to day life, it was a lot more of a gradual transition. One day, I just realized, I wasn't the "junior member," looking for guidance/advice from all the other moms. I was a full-fledged mother, who felt completely comfortable in that role, and who knew my child and his needs/wants/likes better than anyone else.