We are looking at adoption because i am too reproductively chanllenged. My husband says he's fine with adoption, but no eager or excited. Have any of you sturggled with your partner disappointment over no bio children? Should we wait till he's as excited as I am to adopted? I am afraid that may be never...perhaps he'll only ever be excited at the prospect of bio children and accepting of adopted children.
help!
Re: Reproductively Challenged/husband is not
IMO yes, on a certain level you need to wait. Many people have to grieve the loss of a potential bio child, and your H is one of them. It's important he process that.
FWIW DH was about 6 months behind me in being ready to adopt. But he ended up falling in love with DD at first sight
I hear what Dr L says but I'd counter it saying that if your DH is open to learning more, attending workshops, GO!
My husband didn't full get it until we had our baby and he couldn't be more in love.
I think the process is different for men sometimes... so see how he feels about taking first steps. If he says "fine"... I'd say move ahead but be open to his needs to ask questions.
Men show it differently, I think. His giving you the go ahead is a good sign of his willingness to move on, IMO.
I absolutely agree. In our case I still had to wait. I was VERY excited to take the leap into adoption, and DH flat out told me he was overwhelmed and needed to process not having a bio connection to a child. We agreed that I wouldn't push it, but would bring up any info in books I was reading, and he'd be open to attending info sessions (even if they were online). It still took him a while to fully embrace the idea.
Definitely ask questions. DH was hung up on how invasive the homestudy would be, and it took talking to SWs at agencies to make him feel more comfortable and get rid of his fear of the unknown.
GL!