Philosophical Tuesday Question! Everyone can play.

BzeetyD · January 2013

Was listening to a podcast this morning on a totally unrelated topic and a question kind of like this was posed:

If you could go back in time and tell the you (of when you started TTC) how your journey would go up to this point...

Would the you of then want to know?

What would the you of then think of your journey?

Would the you of then have started to TTC?

Mrs.McIrish · January 2013

I was just talking about this the other day with DH!

If the "then me" knew what we would endure, she would have been institutionalized!! There is no way I would want her to know as it would have been way too overbearing. You'd be amazed at what you can get through when it is in stages but it would have been too overwhelming/ depressing all at once. I don't think I would have continued had I known.

BzeetyD · January 2013

Mrs.McIrish:
I was just talking about this the other day with DH!
If the "then me" knew what we would endure, she would have been institutionalized!! There is no way I would want her to know as it would have been way too overbearing. You'd be amazed at what you can get through when it is in stages but it would have been too overwhelming/ depressing all at once. I don't think I would have continued had I known.

I agree. BUT... but... for me, if this journey ends with a child, then I think the naive me would have endured it, and even more, to get there.

I think, to some degree, it would have helped for me to know that this process would take a long time. It would have helped me to feel more relaxed and more patient.

But I don't know if I would have thought I could handle it. I've gotten so much stronger mentally, physically and emotionally in the process. And my life, up until then, was not exactly a bed of roses, per se.

Mrs.McIrish · January 2013

I agree with you if the story ends with a baby. But the "now me" knows that not everyone gets a happy ending.

I do wish the "then me" had not eaten as much to get through this:-)

PrettyAccountant · January 2013

I probably would not have wanted to know. Part of my keeping going was the naive belief that this was going to happen and not be as hard as it has been.
Although I have to agree with MrsMcirish on telling myself to put down the darn fork... Lol

DoublePortion · January 2013

This is way too deep for a morning question! lol I cannot think of a more intelligent response than just not wanting to know. IF has changed me, hopefully for the better, and if I had known everything from the get go then I probably would have missed out on one of the few (only?) benefits IF offers.

liz4paws · January 2013

Great questions.

No, I definitely would not want to know. Life was so much more blissful than it is now knowing the reality of things. It surprises me how much my need to have a child dictates my overall happiness or sadness levels but it appears that it really does.

If someone would have said to me all in one giant explanation "Hey your ovaries suck, your husband's sperm sucks, and you'll never have children of your own...oh and your mom is going to die amidst it all" I probably would have needed to be institutionalized too, like PP said. Luckily (if that's the right word) it all came in increments which made it easier to get used to piece by piece. I definitely could NOT have handled it all at once.

DH and I have learned a lot about each other and ourselves in this process and I think there are some definite positives that have come from it. I think I am much more compassionate about everyone else's struggles, whatever they might be. I try hard not to judge because I have no idea what they might be going through just like the majority of people have no idea what we are going through. I have learned I need to just let my husband be angry sometimes instead of trying to smooth it over and say things to make him feel better. I have learned that he is more introspective than I used to give him credit for.

Yes, I'd still say we would TTC because I want a family (still do, of course) and would do anything to make that happen even if it's not in the method, shape and form I once thought it would come.

mm29 · January 2013

BzeetyD:

Was listening to a podcast this morning on a totally unrelated topic and a question kind of like this was posed:

If you could go back in time and tell the you (of when you started TTC) how your journey would go up to this point...

Would the you of then want to know? Yes. However, I most likely wouldn't have believed it! I was the first person I knew in my family who has had a difficult time ttc. It wasn't until my IVF cycles I found out I have one cousin who is struggling.

What would the you of then think of your journey? Heartbreaking! I have always felt sadness for those who were IF!

Would the you of then have started to TTC? I would like to think yes. I'm not sure DH would have gone along with it. Had I started ttc earlier I would have had a much better chance getting knocked up. I would have tried to talk DH into it about three years earlier. I'm not sure if it would've made a difference though!

mm29 · January 2013

BzeetyD:
Mrs.McIrish:

I was just talking about this the other day with DH!

If the "then me" knew what we would endure, she would have been institutionalized!! There is no way I would want her to know as it would have been way too overbearing. You'd be amazed at what you can get through when it is in stages but it would have been too overwhelming/ depressing all at once. I don't think I would have continued had I known.

I agree. BUT... but... for me, if this journey ends with a child, then I think the naive me would have endured it, and even more, to get there.

I think, to some degree, it would have helped for me to know that this process would take a long time. It would have helped me to feel more relaxed and more patient.

But I don't know if I would have thought I could handle it. I've gotten so much stronger mentally, physically and emotionally in the process. And my life, up until then, was not exactly a bed of roses, per se.

This!

J&D2007 · January 2013

Would the you of then want to know?

yes, definitely. So many wasted years of being scared to start a family.

What would the you of then think of your journey?

I would have never thought in a million years I would get to here, I never would have thought I'd have the guts to go through everything I've been through.

Would the you of then have started to TTC?

Yes. The only thing in my life that I would go back and Re-do would be that I would have married DH sooner and ttc sooner.

kflynn81 · January 2013

If you could go back in time and tell the you (of when you started TTC) how your journey would go up to this point...

Would the you of then want to know? The me of then would need to know that she needed to keep working and not start her own business....now I'm in a position that we haven't got the funds for DE or adoption if we decide to go one of those routes. My bridges are burnt in my previous field so I'm starting all over now...urgh.

What would the you of then think of your journey? The me of then would say....WTF, the Clomid didn't work??? Are you sure?!?

Would the you of then have started to TTC? Honestly, since I had advance knowledge of my issues, I feel like we started as soon as we could. My first round of IF related tests were 5 months after we were married....my first RE appt. was a year after (the soonest I could get into see her after my HSG and DH's SA were done). I know for sure I would have NEVER been able to convince DH to go to the RE before we were married, LOL. What's funny to me now is that when we first started dating 4 years ago....telling him we didn't need to use protection because I couldn't get pregnant was a selling feature, and now look at us

Sophistikitty · January 2013

Would the you of then want to know?

No, I wouldn?t want to know because the person I was then would not have had the strength to get to where I am now without naivety.

What would the you of then think of your journey?

I think the me of then would be amazed by what I am capable of. I think she would be impressed by the strength I have had to push forward and more so, the lengths I would go to for a family.

Would the you of then have started to TTC?

This is a hard one. I am not sure the me of then had the strength to embark on this journey knowingly. Maybe I am under-estimating myself but I think if the picture map of our journey was put in front of me 3 1/2 years ago I might have made other decisions. I just think that the course we travel in our lives is dictated so much by circumstance and feeling. If you were unable to experience the emotion of a circumstance you likely would make different choices. Having said that, at the risk of sounding completely corny; I am thankful for this experience and that I didn?t have the opportunity to opt out of what the future held.

ForTheLoveOf Pink · January 2013

If you could go back in time and tell the you (of when you started TTC) how your journey would go up to this point...

Would the you of then want to know? I dont think I would want to know that it would all end with empty arms and empty wallets.

What would the you of then think of your journey? The then me would be amazed that I had the strength to inflict the physical pain and emotional torture time and time again with no outcomes. The then me would for sure understand how badly I want a baby then and now.

Would the you of then have started to TTC? Of course the then me always wanted a baby....the then me hopefully would have tried a little sooner in life!!!!

luvboston · January 2013

If I had known it would be this hard I would have gotten a divorce immed it would have saved me more heartache then I care to mention. My husbands family are a bunch of heinous witches that fly around on broomsticks and they hurt me irreparably over IF. Also my relationship has been damaged permanently over this crap and it would have never happened had we not started the journey. If I had seen how horrible IF was going to be I would have bought a horse so much cheaper and I would have had constant and immed happiness. When I was in my early twenties all I thought I ever wanted was a horse and that would have been enough and I am beg to think I was right.

Sophistikitty · January 2013

luvboston:
If I had known it would be this hard I would have gotten a divorce immed it would have saved me more heartache then I care to mention. My husbands family are a bunch of heinous witches that fly around on broomsticks and they hurt me irreparably over IF. Also my relationship has been damaged permanently over this crap and it would have never happened had we not started the journey. If I had seen how horrible IF was going to be I would have bought a horse so much cheaper and I would have had constant and immed happiness. When I was in my early twenties all I thought I ever wanted was a horse and that would have been enough and I am beg to think I was right.

HUGE HUGS.

Philosophical Tuesday Question! Everyone can play.

Re: Philosophical Tuesday Question! Everyone can play.

NTNP 2009-2012 TTC since 2012:

Choose Another Board

Search Boards