Anyone else have no sex life? When I was pregnant, I lost all interest in sex. Thankfully, my husband was super patient & understanding (husband of the year!). I was hoping it would get better after I had DS, but it hasn't. DS is almost 11 months old, and I have really no desire. I'm taking Loryna (generic for Yaz) as birth control - I'm wondering if that isn't the culprit.
Other factors are I did suffer pretty badly from PPD, but feel like I've gotten over that hump. Also, DH travels for work a lot (gone most of the week every week). I'm working 40-50 hours/week, have a 1.5 hour commute, & am maintaining the house while taking care of DS. Frankly, I know part of it is because some days/weeks, I'm exhausted.
I've never had a super huge sex drive, but enough to satisfy my husband. When we were TTC, I had much more of a sex drive, but I'm not sure if that's because I wanted a baby or because I was finally of the pill.
DH is home all week this week & making a super effort to help so everything isn't on my shoulders. He is really into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu & MMA. When home during the week, he usually goes to the gym for classes (they are after DS goes to bed). He stayed home last night to hang out with me and we had tentively planned on having sex then - however, I fell asleep at about 8pm on the couch.
When I thought about it on my way to work this AM, I got sick to my stomach. When you figure 9 months of pregnancy w/ no sex drive and the last almost 11 months without much sex (maybe 2x/month) I felt like a total failure of a wife. DH says he's understanding, but I know it bothers him.
I have a physical w/ my general practitioner in March, so I hope to bring it up then. In the meantime, I might go off BC until I see her and see if that helps.
Re: sex life
You are certainly not alone.
My DH and I are in the same boat. For me, the drive is sorta there, sometimes, not nearly like it was pre-pregnancy, but I never follow through even when it is there. I am just so tired all the time, and am still trying to figure out how to balance working fulltime and being a new mom (also with a 1.5 hour commute) and no family nearby or cleaning service to help. My DH works long hours and travels a lot.
I was just telling DH the other day. I am starting to forget how to take care of myself and even how to enjoy time for myself. I joked that taking care of myself these days is, honestly, putting some good moisturizer on my face before I go to bed.
Everyone says things get easier as the LOs grow up. I'm hoping this is true.
Hugs!
Same here.
I had a healthy sex drive pre-preg and it was ok while I was pregnant but now - nada. I feel awful for DH, he's being really patient but I'm so stressed out I can't even fake arousal and enthusiasm.
I think talking to your physician about it is a great idea. I always had little to no sex drive on birth control. Could you switch to a non-hormone pill?
I totally appreciate your support & am glad to know I'm not alone. I feel like what you posted is exactly how I feel most of the time. Not to mention, like you, we have no family nearby to "give us a break". However, I finally hired a cleaning lady, she starts next week (I'm probably more excited than I should be). Although this won't alleviate all the chores for me, I won't have to deep clean the house, just vacuum a few days a week. Now, if only I could have a personal chef and dog walker...
I know it probably gets better when the kids get older, but I just feel so bad for DH. He's being so patient and amazing about it, but I feel like the least I could do is offer something up!
Adventure's In Willyland
Mine started right away, and I was given prozac. What really helped, was fresh air and naps. It's probably hard to nap if you're working & get fresh air if you live in a cold place! helpful, huh? I do find myself sometimes back at square one when i'm really sleep deprived & stressed. Just take one day & moment at a time and seek help if you need to (no shame!).
Adventure's In Willyland
s and it really turns me off from him in general. My husband is not as understanding as yours though and thinks that he is entitled to sex whenever he wants it and when he doesnt get it he gets very mean toward me.
Anyway sorry that I just hijacked your post to vent! You are not alone though in having no interest.
Corbin | born 4.19.12
Baby boy #2 | due 4.13.15
I also try not to complain about my hubby to others. I find it helps our relationship if I tell my DH what's bothering me like not helping out enough before I go to my best friend.
I am still struggling with this everyday, so I know how you're feeling. I hope some of the things that have helped me will help you too. If anyone has other suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
BFP #2 11/2013, MC 11/26/2013 (6/7WKS) -NO SACK JUST EMBRYO, NO D&C