Does anyone else agree? Or am I just crazy?

everchangingcycles · January 2013

I believe there is enough awareness in the world that people shouldn't be so confused, but...you're finding out the baby's SEX, not gender. There is a difference.

It annoys me every time I hear "what gender are you hoping for?" ...actually, even the question "do you want a boy or girl?" kills me. I don't care. I want whatever it is, and I will love it unquestionably no matter what.

It annoys me more when I hear doctors or midwives say "gender." Like, you're already referring to the ANATOMY scan, so call it by the anatomical name.

Am I just being ridiculous, a.k.a. hormonal, or is this a legitimate annoyance?

Mom2katiec · January 2013

Yeah. I think you're being a little sensitive. Sorry.

dande2129 · January 2013

It was a big thing when I was in 2nd tri about people correcting the difference between "sex" and "gender."

It annoys me too, but I'm not losing sleep over it.

FWIW, it makes my skin crawl to see/hear someone say, "prego", "preggers", "pregs" or any other variation of "pregnant." I'd rather hear the incorrect use of gender/sex than that.

ChristyD6 · January 2013

I absolutely know and understand the difference between sex and gender. That said, it doesn't bother me when people use them interchangeably.

Jasmineeelizabeth · January 2013

Every time I say the gender my boyfriend gets so annoyed and corrects me. But I just like that word better, the sex sounds too scientific.

Jasmineeelizabeth · January 2013

dande2129:
It was a big thing when I was in 2nd tri about people correcting the difference between "sex" and "gender."
It annoys me too, but I'm not losing sleep over it.
FWIW, it makes my skin crawl to see/hear someone say, "prego", "preggers", "pregs" or any other variation of "pregnant." I'd rather hear the incorrect use of gender/sex than that.

OH GOD. I hate when people call me preggers.

RedCherry1109 · January 2013

Jasmineeelizabeth:
dande2129:
It was a big thing when I was in 2nd tri about people correcting the difference between "sex" and "gender."
It annoys me too, but I'm not losing sleep over it.
FWIW, it makes my skin crawl to see/hear someone say, "prego", "preggers", "pregs" or any other variation of "pregnant." I'd rather hear the incorrect use of gender/sex than that.

OH GOD. I hate when people call me preggers.

It never bothered me until I got on here and people pointed it out.

flerlgirl · January 2013

It's one of those things where if you know the difference, great; if not, no big deal. I didn't know there was a difference until someone told me in high school. So it doesn't bother me. I'd much rather have that than a post written in Teen Girl Text Message language. m i rite??

luvmyducks · January 2013

I know the difference but think this whole topic is waaay blown up on TB.

everchangingcycles · January 2013

luvmyducks:
I know the difference but think this whole topic is waaay blown up on TB.

Well, I've still got Newb posted by my name

I guess it's just my version of others "preggers, prego, preggies, etc."

But seriously, I don't understand why doctors even refer to it as gender when it is sex, the 'scientific' sounding name as a PP said lol.

SCBride2007 · January 2013

I think most everyone knows the difference, but I think it is ridiculous how "hot topic" people get about it, especially here on TB. It's one of those things that I just shake my head at and say, "You really had to go out of your way to make sure you are right and that everyone knows it....".

Ceefome · January 2013

Does it matter? You know the difference, so you know what the person means when they incorrectly use gender. You're that much better than they are. Go you.

taraleanne · January 2013

What annoys me is when people try to guess what you are having (especially as early as I am at 18w) and they are SO certain they are right.

"I'm NEVER wrong"

"Oh, I just know"

And then referring to baby as him or her and even giving him or her a name. I find that people think you are having what they want! Selfish? I have finally resolved to telling these people to stop guessing and just hope for a healthy babe.

WashingtonQueen · January 2013

luvmyducks:
I know the difference but think this whole topic is waaay blown up on TB.

Thats for sure!

LovestruckAJ · January 2013

WashingtonQueen:
luvmyducks:
I know the difference but think this whole topic is waaay blown up on TB.
Thats for sure!

Indeed. I don't care either way. I know what they mean.

everchangingcycles · January 2013

Cool, you all are on here enough that you know it's a "hot topic." If I'd seen it brought up, I'd have left it alone. I wanted to know what others' views were and if it was even a topic. So, "go me!" for contributing to a board. Yay.

Proudnavywife&mommy · January 2013

It annoys me to hear someone call a fetus an "it" not loosing sleep over gender or sex.

nyki06 · January 2013

I didn't learn about the difference until I took Human Relations classes during my second year of college. With stuff like that I try to make sure I'm saying the right thing but I also try to have grace for others who haven't necessarily had the same training/education that I've had.

jebrmbbeb · January 2013

It does not bother me at all. I don't even think about it. That is how people talk and refer to the sex of the baby a lot of the time; everyone knows this. So those that feel the need to correct others and explain how bad it annoys them, well to them I say good luck because you will be annoyed a lot and have many people to correct. And there's a good chance the person they're correcting already knows the technical difference but maybe they don't want to say hey we're having a sex party. Gender sounds better.

HelgaFunk · January 2013

you're being ridiculous.

people misuse healthy for healthful all the time too.

pick your battles.

StarshineR · January 2013

You know very well that someone else agrees with you. If you need to vent, call it a vent.

Yes, I think you are being ridiculous, although I don't know whether to chalk it up to hormones or not.

I *do* understand the difference that many people believe exists between gender and sex. I am aware of the politics involved and how people are really worried about offending the very small percentage of people out there who identify themselves as transsexuals, but it's not just informed by LGBT politics, but also feminism. Feminists - or at least the more extreme ones - believe there is no difference between the *genders* at all, and that every difference that we see is socially ingrained. I once believed in that myself in my naive youth. It's also a grave mistake to assume that such a difference - if one exists - isn't socially, culturally, or biologically important. They have always been important and they always will be - in almost every culture, esp. advanced ones - that have ever existed. There's a reason why we'll never have a completely androgynous society. In modern times, victim politics has gotten out of hand. No one wants to feel like they are marginalizing anyone - so they start pushing for changes in how words are defined and everyone starts to say things that are a little bit nutty.

It's not wrong to treat gender as a synonym of sex, because it's *common usage*. Common Usage is not wrong. It's how language works. Words have meanings because *people give them meanings*. Words can also have a variety of meanings - or do you not know that?

The only people who get upset about it are those who are usually politically motivated to push a certain agenda on the public at large. Again, this is for fear of offending somebody. And if you're going to tell me that the distinction between *gender* and *sex* is not made and insisted upon because of politics (instead of serious research and study), well, that's just laughable.

In common usage, there is no difference between gender and sex. It's what most of us have learned growing up, and it's only after going to university and being exposed to gender politics, that people start to feel guilty about it. I have no shame in using common usage, and I won't be bullied or guilted into changing the way I speak (or write).

I have the utmost compassion and respect for everyone - including LGBT people - but I have zero toleration for those who try and tell me how to think, speak, or act.

Lolalipsy · January 2013

It's not something I could muster up the energy or inclination to get annoyed about but each to their own.
I use both quite happily.

hollandmama · January 2013

dande2129:
FWIW, it makes my skin crawl to see/hear someone say, "prego", "preggers", "pregs" or any other variation of "pregnant." I'd rather hear the incorrect use of gender/sex than that.

LOL! Exactly this!

wcvsb3b5 · January 2013

ChristyD6:
I absolutely know and understand the difference between sex and gender. That said, it doesn't bother me when people use them interchangeably.

This.

meltoine · January 2013

I'm offended by all misuse of language. However, if I spent my time actually getting upset about it I wouldn't be able to do anything else with my life.

everchangingcycles · January 2013

StarshineR:
You know very well that someone else agrees with you. If you need to vent, call it a vent.
Yes, I think you are being ridiculous, although I don't know whether to chalk it up to hormones or not.
I *do* understand the difference that many people believe exists between gender and sex. I am aware of the politics involved and how people are really worried about offending the very small percentage of people out there who identify themselves as transsexuals, but it's not just informed by LGBT politics, but also feminism. Feminists - or at least the more extreme ones - believe there is no difference between the *genders* at all, and that every difference that we see is socially ingrained. I once believed in that myself in my naive youth. It's also a grave mistake to assume that such a difference - if one exists - isn't socially, culturally, or biologically important. They have always been important and they always will be - in almost every culture, esp. advanced ones - that have ever existed. There's a reason why we'll never have a completely androgynous society. In modern times, victim politics has gotten out of hand. No one wants to feel like they are marginalizing anyone - so they start pushing for changes in how words are defined and everyone starts to say things that are a little bit nutty.
It's not wrong to treat gender as a synonym of sex, because it's *common usage*. Common Usage is not wrong. It's how language works. Words have meanings because *people give them meanings*. Words can also have a variety of meanings - or do you not know that?
The only people who get upset about it are those who are usually politically motivated to push a certain agenda on the public at large. Again, this is for fear of offending somebody. And if you're going to tell me that the distinction between *gender* and *sex* is not made and insisted upon because of politics (instead of serious research and study), well, that's just laughable.
In common usage, there is no difference between gender and sex. It's what most of us have learned growing up, and it's only after going to university and being exposed to gender politics, that people start to feel guilty about it. I have no shame in using common usage, and I won't be bullied or guilted into changing the way I speak (or write).
I have the utmost compassion and respect for everyone - including LGBT people - but I have zero toleration for those who try and tell me how to think, speak, or act.

I like your response, and I do agree. I probably get annoyed by it because I have plenty of friends who I wouldn't want to offend. But, I do understand how they can be used interchangeably, I think the real annoyance, like PP stated, is using it for medical terms of tests interchangeably, "Gender scan" and "sex determination scan.

I'm not in that big of a huff about it, again, just wondering what is said more, which apparently seems to be "gender." Which, I can understand, because it's way more cutesy. I could see the same argument over calling it "it," vs. "baby" or "bean" or whatever other cutesy name people come up with.

So yeah, whateves, I vented. I don't get much to vent about so when I do, I gotta say it and let it go.

prettypinkypeonies · January 2013

yeah, i don't give a flying rat's behind what people call it.

the weirdos that insist on correcting people are just trying to prove how intellectually superior they are to the rest of us.

it never ceases to amaze me the things people get worked up about on here.

BelhurstBride · January 2013

I didn't read the responses but yes, it drives me nuts. Sex is biological. Gender is defined by social roles. It's 2013. Use the correct terminology.

kxp004 · January 2013

StarshineR:

I *do* understand the difference that many people believe exists between gender and sex. I am aware of the politics involved and how people are really worried about offending the very small percentage of people out there who identify themselves as transsexuals, but it's not just informed by LGBT politics, but also feminism. Feminists - or at least the more extreme ones - believe there is no difference between the *genders* at all, and that every difference that we see is socially ingrained. I once believed in that myself in my naive youth. It's also a grave mistake to assume that such a difference - if one exists - isn't socially, culturally, or biologically important. They have always been important and they always will be - in almost every culture, esp. advanced ones - that have ever existed. There's a reason why we'll never have a completely androgynous society. In modern times, victim politics has gotten out of hand. No one wants to feel like they are marginalizing anyone - so they start pushing for changes in how words are defined and everyone starts to say things that are a little bit nutty.
It's not wrong to treat gender as a synonym of sex, because it's *common usage*. Common Usage is not wrong. It's how language works. Words have meanings because *people give them meanings*. Words can also have a variety of meanings - or do you not know that?
The only people who get upset about it are those who are usually politically motivated to push a certain agenda on the public at large. Again, this is for fear of offending somebody. And if you're going to tell me that the distinction between *gender* and *sex* is not made and insisted upon because of politics (instead of serious research and study), well, that's just laughable.
In common usage, there is no difference between gender and sex. It's what most of us have learned growing up, and it's only after going to university and being exposed to gender politics, that people start to feel guilty about it. I have no shame in using common usage, and I won't be bullied or guilted into changing the way I speak (or write).
I have the utmost compassion and respect for everyone - including LGBT people - but I have zero toleration for those who try and tell me how to think, speak, or act.

ummm I completely disagree with you... gender and sex are different because one explains anatomical features and the other is societal or cultural.... not because us "feminists" are worried about offending someone's sensibilities.... and yes there are biological differences between the *sexes* but society is what decides what is appropriate for each *gender*... and laugh all you want but it's not all political... there are significant scientific studies that I have read for my thesis that show the differences...Google scholar has tons of *scientific articles* that you can look at... do people use it for politics? absolutely, but that doesn't mean it's solely political...

I have no agenda to push on anyone... and it still makes me irritated when people misuse the two... people don't like using the word sex and that's really what it comes down to... if we called it a sex party on a regular basis, it wouldn't be so awkward that people feel they need to say gender party....

am I going to be a biitch about it and jump on them for misusing the words? no but I will most likely say something...

mben1119 · January 2013

StarshineR:

You know very well that someone else agrees with you. If you need to vent, call it a vent.

Yes, I think you are being ridiculous, although I don't know whether to chalk it up to hormones or not.

I *do* understand the difference that many people believe exists between gender and sex. I am aware of the politics involved and how people are really worried about offending the very small percentage of people out there who identify themselves as transsexuals, but it's not just informed by LGBT politics, but also feminism. Feminists - or at least the more extreme ones - believe there is no difference between the *genders* at all, and that every difference that we see is socially ingrained. I once believed in that myself in my naive youth. It's also a grave mistake to assume that such a difference - if one exists - isn't socially, culturally, or biologically important. They have always been important and they always will be - in almost every culture, esp. advanced ones - that have ever existed. There's a reason why we'll never have a completely androgynous society. In modern times, victim politics has gotten out of hand. No one wants to feel like they are marginalizing anyone - so they start pushing for changes in how words are defined and everyone starts to say things that are a little bit nutty.

It's not wrong to treat gender as a synonym of sex, because it's *common usage*. Common Usage is not wrong. It's how language works. Words have meanings because *people give them meanings*. Words can also have a variety of meanings - or do you not know that?

The only people who get upset about it are those who are usually politically motivated to push a certain agenda on the public at large. Again, this is for fear of offending somebody. And if you're going to tell me that the distinction between *gender* and *sex* is not made and insisted upon because of politics (instead of serious research and study), well, that's just laughable.

In common usage, there is no difference between gender and sex. It's what most of us have learned growing up, and it's only after going to university and being exposed to gender politics, that people start to feel guilty about it. I have no shame in using common usage, and I won't be bullied or guilted into changing the way I speak (or write).

I have the utmost compassion and respect for everyone - including LGBT people - but I have zero toleration for those who try and tell me how to think, speak, or act.

Obviously not if you don't acknowledge there is a real and scientific difference between your genitalia and your gender. Deeb.

trudibell · January 2013

I'm with you - but I'm an anthropologist so I understand the difference!!

Mama-Bear · January 2013

I know the difference, but I use them both, so I would say it doesn't bother me. Hoenstly, why do you care what someone calls the sex? You know exactly what they're talking about, so I think you're getting worked up over nothing.

JaimeCH · January 2013

luvmyducks:
I know the difference but think this whole topic is waaay blown up on TB.

Definitely this. I notice it when someone uses it incorrectly, but don't care enough to get worked up over it.

nyki06 · January 2013

StarshineR:
You know very well that someone else agrees with you. If you need to vent, call it a vent.
Yes, I think you are being ridiculous, although I don't know whether to chalk it up to hormones or not.
I *do* understand the difference that many people believe exists between gender and sex. I am aware of the politics involved and how people are really worried about offending the very small percentage of people out there who identify themselves as transsexuals, but it's not just informed by LGBT politics, but also feminism. Feminists - or at least the more extreme ones - believe there is no difference between the *genders* at all, and that every difference that we see is socially ingrained. I once believed in that myself in my naive youth. It's also a grave mistake to assume that such a difference - if one exists - isn't socially, culturally, or biologically important. They have always been important and they always will be - in almost every culture, esp. advanced ones - that have ever existed. There's a reason why we'll never have a completely androgynous society. In modern times, victim politics has gotten out of hand. No one wants to feel like they are marginalizing anyone - so they start pushing for changes in how words are defined and everyone starts to say things that are a little bit nutty.
It's not wrong to treat gender as a synonym of sex, because it's *common usage*. Common Usage is not wrong. It's how language works. Words have meanings because *people give them meanings*. Words can also have a variety of meanings - or do you not know that?
The only people who get upset about it are those who are usually politically motivated to push a certain agenda on the public at large. Again, this is for fear of offending somebody. And if you're going to tell me that the distinction between *gender* and *sex* is not made and insisted upon because of politics (instead of serious research and study), well, that's just laughable.
In common usage, there is no difference between gender and sex. It's what most of us have learned growing up, and it's only after going to university and being exposed to gender politics, that people start to feel guilty about it. I have no shame in using common usage, and I won't be bullied or guilted into changing the way I speak (or write).
I have the utmost compassion and respect for everyone - including LGBT people - but I have zero toleration for those who try and tell me how to think, speak, or act.

I'm such a silly feminist, thinking that the way our society teaches what gender is defined as would make an impact on the way we view gender.

I Love my Dave · January 2013

I hate when people would say, before I found out what I was having, you want a girl don't you? No I want a healthy baby. I don't care. I feel blessed to just be able to get pregnant.

kxp004 · January 2013

mabenner1:
StarshineR:
I have the utmost compassion and respect for everyone - including LGBT people - but I have zero toleration for those who try and tell me how to think, speak, or act.

Obviously not if you don't acknowledge there is a real and scientific difference between your genitalia and your gender. Deeb.

thumbs up to this...

ImaniJ55 · January 2013

JaimeCH:
luvmyducks:
I know the difference but think this whole topic is waaay blown up on TB.

Definitely this. I notice it when someone uses it incorrectly, but don't care enough to get worked up over it.

Ditto to this. I know the difference and I know what people mean when the say it. I just wonder sometimes if the ppl who are super strict with the words sex/gender say sex neutral instead of gender neutral when it comes to baby clothes lol.

mben1119 · January 2013

ImaniJ55:
JaimeCH:

luvmyducks:
I know the difference but think this whole topic is waaay blown up on TB.

Definitely this. I notice it when someone uses it incorrectly, but don't care enough to get worked up over it.

Ditto to this. I know the difference and I know what people mean when the say it. I just wonder sometimes if the ppl who are super strict with the words sex/gender say sex neutral instead of gender neutral when it comes to baby clothes lol.

That doesn't make any sense. Clothes are gender neutral, as we as a society have placed gender assignments to the colors of baby clothes.

ImaniJ55 · January 2013

kxp004:
zigspective:
ImaniJ55:
JaimeCH:
luvmyducks:
I know the difference but think this whole topic is waaay blown up on TB.

Definitely this. I notice it when someone uses it incorrectly, but don't care enough to get worked up over it.

Ditto to this. I know the difference and I know what people mean when the say it. I just wonder sometimes if the ppl who are super strict with the words sex/gender say sex neutral instead of gender neutral when it comes to baby clothes lol.
No, because that makes no sense. An absence of pink ruffles and blue trucks is gender neutral, because those are society and culture based gender indicators.
All clothing is sex neutral because clothing does not have genitals. 

That's true. I'm not trying to stir the pot here but what about the babies that are born with both genitals? I know they are called hermaphrodite but what would you do then? Since they have both sexes but their gender isn't determined yet.. That's another thing that confuses me..

homebird · January 2013

Yes, people use the word "gender" wrong, but it's not my hill to die on, kwim? I'd more annoyed by the misuse of "their", "they're" and "there".

I make a point to say "sex" when referring to anatomy, except when it came to my cupcakes last. For some reason I felt weird saying "sex cupcakes", so I said "gender cupcakes" instead, lol.

FWIW - when I was a FTM I posted something like this on the 2nd tri board and got flamed to crap and back.

homebird · January 2013

ImaniJ55:
JaimeCH:
luvmyducks:
I know the difference but think this whole topic is waaay blown up on TB.

Definitely this. I notice it when someone uses it incorrectly, but don't care enough to get worked up over it.
Ditto to this. I know the difference and I know what people mean when the say it. I just wonder sometimes if the ppl who are super strict with the words sex/gender say sex neutral instead of gender neutral when it comes to baby clothes lol.

haha. point-making fail.

gender neutral means the absence of traditional/cultural gender cues (like pink and ruffles for girls, trucks and blue for boys). sex neutral would mean that they had no sex organs.

so people ARE using the term "gender neutral" correctly.

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Does anyone else agree? Or am I just crazy?

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