Jeffsjayme

jeffsjayme · January 2013

I had to step back and cool off before replying. I don't want to make this into a bigger situation than it is, so here's a last attempt at clarifying things.

I totally get others think that me and my OB should do something different than what we've done. And that's great. For them. But they aren't walking in my shoes. I am. And I'm making an education decision - isn't that what we want others to do? Even if we don't agree with them? As long as they have the facts, well, they're free to do what they wish.

I love being a mother and kids. Before kids, I thought they were wonderful - in concept. But since having a kid, I know they are wonderful - by experience. It's only confirmed my vision that I want several children, but also can't really afford to wait 2,3,4 years between them - if possible. If I wait the ideal time between kids, I'll run out of time. Not the end of the world, but not what I want.

This is a Trying To Get Pregnant board, not a Tell Everyone How Great Your Kid is board. If you want examples of how great my kid is or how much I love being a mother, see my other posts for thebump or my personal blog. Because that's where those stories are. Not here.

About how even though I hated that he was sick with a cold, I enjoyed the extra cuddles.

About preparing for a babysitter because how do you communicate the really cool things about a baby that only a mom gets to know?

About how I know it can take a while to get pregnant.

How I was looking forward to starting Christmas traditions with him.

How I went from full-time to part time so that I could focus more on my family.

Why I wanted to work just part time.

My DH did have a SA done on Wednesday before I took the first Clomid pill - just because it was so easy to do. I made the informed decision to not get a HSG before doing 1 cycle. Based upon my past history, I'm not ovulating either timely or at all and we have no reason to suspect my tubes are blocked. I do have a HSG scheduled for February if this first cycle doesn't work. But when you have charts with a cycles that are 34 days, 80 days, 50 days, 43 days and when you have only gotten a positive OPK once and that was after your temps indicated that you ovulated, you know that ovulation isn't happening. I am being monitored.

The conversation with my OB (where I filled my prescription at Walmart, not Mexico) was when I should expect more regularity in my cycles after a baby? Her answer: In a non-BF mom, she would've expected to see it by now. Not all women regulate at 9 months, but most do - if they're going to. Because some women never have cycles that are the same. So I asked if I waited a few more months, does she think that would make any difference? No, she doesn't think so. One can never tell, but that's her gut feeling.

If someone was able to struggle with getting pregnant for 5 years and never felt betrayed by their body, major kudos to them. If they never thought "Why aren't you ovulating?" or "Why aren't you eggs implanting?" or "Why does my uterus keep flushing every month?", then I think they're rare. I think their awesome and I'd love to know how they did that.

I didn't meet my DH until I was 28. Didn't date until him until I was 29. Didn't marry until I was almost 31. If I would've seen an article from a 23-year-old woman complaining about how hard and lonely it is to not be married and have someone to love, I probably would've rolled my eyes are her too. But you know what? She wouldn't have been wrong. It was hard being single at 23 and it was hard at 28. If anyone who has been dealing with pregnancy concerns for longer wants to write for thebump, I think they'd love to have you.

I've never given the advice to anyone to seek medical opinions before a year (or 6 months). I've never recommended Clomid to anyone. Why would I? I'm on day 5 - I haven't seen how this is going to play out for me. I never even told anyone that I was starting Clomid (on here). Someone else lurked at my chart and brought it up. Not me. So don't think that I'm setting myself up as an example. I'm just doing what I think is best for me - based upon the knowledge that I have. I have lurked on the Secondary IF and the T-TTC boards and saw that many of them sought treatment before the year when there was indications of a problem. From their Intro:
"We all have different thresholds for what we would consider "trouble." Most of us on the board would interpret that to mean that you have a diagnosis, such as PCOS or symptoms, such as irregular cycles that will make getting pregnant more challenging. Some people have no symptoms or diagnosis, but have been trying to conceive for over a year without success, or 6 months if they are over 35 years old. Some people have had multiple miscarriages. And some people have other reasons for being here. "

"That being said, many of us had our initial testing done before the year mark."

I'm just doing what I think is best and not advising anyone to do anything other than that.

sourapplemartini · January 2013

Just because your periods are "irregular" doesn't mean there's a problem. They change after you have a baby.

Are you getting sufficient rest to know your temps are accurate? Are you temping at the same time each day? Are you using OPKs multiple times a day in correlation with your CM patterns?

I think your OB is crazy to go along with you. Clearly you don't have a problem getting pregnant and claiming ZOMG I HAZ IRREGULAR CYCLES THERE MUST BE A PROBLEM is ridiculous.

eav2c · January 2013

Trying to reason with a toddler would be easier than reasoning with JJ.

TrudyCampbell · January 2013

What I have concluded from all of this is that you are the type of person who cannot open their mind to see things from a different perspective. You don't have to agree with what everyone is telling you, but you could at least try to listen and see things from a point of view other than your own twisted one.

Best of luck with your "education decision" since you clearly "love being a mother and kids". You're an awesome writer, I'm really looking forward to reading your future blog posts.

(No, really, I am.)

sueann911 · January 2013

So basically, you and your doctor diagnosed you with impatience.

kkfeb04 · January 2013

Do I really need to pull up your July posts that said YOU ALWAYS HAD CLOCKWORK CYCLES PRIOR TO YOUR PREGNANCY ON YOUR FIRST CYCLE? Those were on April 2012 less than 3 months after you gave birth.

1. YOU SHOULD NEVER GET CLOMID OR ANY OTHER FERTILITY MED FROM AN OB, YOU SHOULD GO TO AN RE.

2. If you truly have PCOS what testing did you do because you are a liar, there's another drug before clomid they try, even your educated OBGYN would know that. We have established you don't see an ethical one since THE HSG IS ALWAYS GIVEN BEFORE CLOMID. If your tubes are blocked, clomid is pointless.

3. You are an arrogant twatwaffle.

4. You have no clue why anyone would be upset. See 3. Stop being a douchecanoe and read your blog post. You have a child.

5. Everyone has to control the number of kids they have. Some do it for financial reasons, some do it BECAUSE THEY COULD DIE, some do it because of age. Suck it up. If you wanted to be the next Ma Duggar, you should have started earlier. Some of us did get married in their early 20's and thanks to IF, didn't have a kid until their 30's.

6. I don't care to read your blog of lies. Guess what, people don't need YOU to tell them what to tell a babysitter. Unless you wanted sympathy because your kid has a cold. SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP. Kids get sick, get over it.

7. You are one of the many reasons why the bump sucks monkeyballs. The fact that the bump gave YOU, a terrible whiny person, an outlet to moan and complain.

8. You need to apologize publicly on both of your blogs for being insensitive to the IF community.

9. Have you posted on the TTTC or Secondary IF? They would've flamed you much more than this post. In fact post there, don't forget to mention your infant.

danaflanders · January 2013

Um, if you were as educated on reproduction as you claim, you would know that eggs do not implant embryos do. Your arrogance and your claims of education but clearly lack of and any measure of compassion for others who are truly struggling with fertility is infuriating.

Eta forgive my lack of punctuation. Oh, how I dislike bump mobile.

Emerald27 · January 2013

sueann911:
So basically, you and your doctor diagnosed you with impatience.

This x100.

Akiesha · January 2013

jeffsjayme:
I had to step back and cool off before replying. I don't want to make this into a bigger situation than it is, so here's a last attempt at clarifying things.

I totally get others think that me and my OB should do something different than what we've done. And that's great. For them. But they aren't walking in my shoes. I am. And I'm making an education decision - isn't that what we want others to do? Even if we don't agree with them? As long as they have the facts, well, they're free to do what they wish.

I love being a mother and kids. Before kids, I thought they were wonderful - in concept. But since having a kid, I know they are wonderful - by experience. It's only confirmed my vision that I want several children, but also can't really afford to wait 2,3,4 years between them - if possible. If I wait the ideal time between kids, I'll run out of time. Not the end of the world, but not what I want.
This is a Trying To Get Pregnant board, not a Tell Everyone How Great Your Kid is board. If you want examples of how great my kid is or how much I love being a mother, see my other posts for thebump or my personal blog. Because that's where those stories are. Not here.
About how even though I hated that he was sick with a cold, I enjoyed the extra cuddles.
About preparing for a babysitter because how do you communicate the really cool things about a baby that only a mom gets to know?
About how I know it can take a while to get pregnant.
How I was looking forward to starting Christmas traditions with him.
How I went from full-time to part time so that I could focus more on my family.
Why I wanted to work just part time.
My DH did have a SA done on Wednesday before I took the first Clomid pill - just because it was so easy to do. I made the informed decision to not get a HSG before doing 1 cycle. Based upon my past history, I'm not ovulating either timely or at all and we have no reason to suspect my tubes are blocked. I do have a HSG scheduled for February if this first cycle doesn't work. But when you have charts with a cycles that are 34 days, 80 days, 50 days, 43 days and when you have only gotten a positive OPK once and that was after your temps indicated that you ovulated, you know that ovulation isn't happening. I am being monitored.
The conversation with my OB (where I filled my prescription at Walmart, not Mexico) was when I should expect more regularity in my cycles after a baby? Her answer: In a non-BF mom, she would've expected to see it by now. Not all women regulate at 9 months, but most do - if they're going to. Because some women never have cycles that are the same. So I asked if I waited a few more months, does she think that would make any difference? No, she doesn't think so. One can never tell, but that's her gut feeling.
If someone was able to struggle with getting pregnant for 5 years and never felt betrayed by their body, major kudos to them. If they never thought "Why aren't you ovulating?" or "Why aren't you eggs implanting?" or "Why does my uterus keep flushing every month?", then I think they're rare. I think their awesome and I'd love to know how they did that.
I didn't meet my DH until I was 28. Didn't date until him until I was 29. Didn't marry until I was almost 31. If I would've seen an article from a 23-year-old woman complaining about how hard and lonely it is to not be married and have someone to love, I probably would've rolled my eyes are her too. But you know what? She wouldn't have been wrong. It was hard being single at 23 and it was hard at 28. If anyone who has been dealing with pregnancy concerns for longer wants to write for thebump, I think they'd love to have you.
I've never given the advice to anyone to seek medical opinions before a year (or 6 months). I've never recommended Clomid to anyone. Why would I? I'm on day 5 - I haven't seen how this is going to play out for me. I never even told anyone that I was starting Clomid (on here). Someone else lurked at my chart and brought it up. Not me. So don't think that I'm setting myself up as an example. I'm just doing what I think is best for me - based upon the knowledge that I have. I have lurked on the Secondary IF and the T-TTC boards and saw that many of them sought treatment before the year when there was indications of a problem. From their Intro:
"We all have different thresholds for what we would consider "trouble." Most of us on the board would interpret that to mean that you have a diagnosis, such as PCOS or symptoms, such as irregular cycles that will make getting pregnant more challenging. Some people have no symptoms or diagnosis, but have been trying to conceive for over a year without success, or 6 months if they are over 35 years old. Some people have had multiple miscarriages. And some people have other reasons for being here. "
"That being said, many of us had our initial testing done before the year mark."
I'm just doing what I think is best and not advising anyone to do anything other than that.

Wow you just don't flipping get it, do you?

brookelynpaisley · January 2013

Your excuses are adorable, but you're still a flucking twatwaffle.

gisa886 · January 2013

cruelsound:
I didn't read this thread, I'm just here to fist-bump my lady, Gisa.

Hey! I want to smother you with kisses.

CMSullivan326 · January 2013

brookelynpaisley:
Your excuses are adorable, but you're still a flucking twatwaffle.

Bingo.

Except, I'm finding the excuses annoying.

kkfeb04 · January 2013

Akiesha:
jeffsjayme:
I had to step back and cool off before replying. I don't want to make this into a bigger situation than it is, so here's a last attempt at clarifying things.

I totally get others think that me and my OB should do something different than what we've done. And that's great. For them. But they aren't walking in my shoes. I am. And I'm making an education decision - isn't that what we want others to do? Even if we don't agree with them? As long as they have the facts, well, they're free to do what they wish.

I love being a mother and kids. Before kids, I thought they were wonderful - in concept. But since having a kid, I know they are wonderful - by experience. It's only confirmed my vision that I want several children, but also can't really afford to wait 2,3,4 years between them - if possible. If I wait the ideal time between kids, I'll run out of time. Not the end of the world, but not what I want.
This is a Trying To Get Pregnant board, not a Tell Everyone How Great Your Kid is board. If you want examples of how great my kid is or how much I love being a mother, see my other posts for thebump or my personal blog. Because that's where those stories are. Not here.
About how even though I hated that he was sick with a cold, I enjoyed the extra cuddles.
About preparing for a babysitter because how do you communicate the really cool things about a baby that only a mom gets to know?
About how I know it can take a while to get pregnant.
How I was looking forward to starting Christmas traditions with him.
How I went from full-time to part time so that I could focus more on my family.
Why I wanted to work just part time.
My DH did have a SA done on Wednesday before I took the first Clomid pill - just because it was so easy to do. I made the informed decision to not get a HSG before doing 1 cycle. Based upon my past history, I'm not ovulating either timely or at all and we have no reason to suspect my tubes are blocked. I do have a HSG scheduled for February if this first cycle doesn't work. But when you have charts with a cycles that are 34 days, 80 days, 50 days, 43 days and when you have only gotten a positive OPK once and that was after your temps indicated that you ovulated, you know that ovulation isn't happening. I am being monitored.
The conversation with my OB (where I filled my prescription at Walmart, not Mexico) was when I should expect more regularity in my cycles after a baby? Her answer: In a non-BF mom, she would've expected to see it by now. Not all women regulate at 9 months, but most do - if they're going to. Because some women never have cycles that are the same. So I asked if I waited a few more months, does she think that would make any difference? No, she doesn't think so. One can never tell, but that's her gut feeling.
If someone was able to struggle with getting pregnant for 5 years and never felt betrayed by their body, major kudos to them. If they never thought "Why aren't you ovulating?" or "Why aren't you eggs implanting?" or "Why does my uterus keep flushing every month?", then I think they're rare. I think their awesome and I'd love to know how they did that.
I didn't meet my DH until I was 28. Didn't date until him until I was 29. Didn't marry until I was almost 31. If I would've seen an article from a 23-year-old woman complaining about how hard and lonely it is to not be married and have someone to love, I probably would've rolled my eyes are her too. But you know what? She wouldn't have been wrong. It was hard being single at 23 and it was hard at 28. If anyone who has been dealing with pregnancy concerns for longer wants to write for thebump, I think they'd love to have you.
I've never given the advice to anyone to seek medical opinions before a year (or 6 months). I've never recommended Clomid to anyone. Why would I? I'm on day 5 - I haven't seen how this is going to play out for me. I never even told anyone that I was starting Clomid (on here). Someone else lurked at my chart and brought it up. Not me. So don't think that I'm setting myself up as an example. I'm just doing what I think is best for me - based upon the knowledge that I have. I have lurked on the Secondary IF and the T-TTC boards and saw that many of them sought treatment before the year when there was indications of a problem. From their Intro:
"We all have different thresholds for what we would consider "trouble." Most of us on the board would interpret that to mean that you have a diagnosis, such as PCOS or symptoms, such as irregular cycles that will make getting pregnant more challenging. Some people have no symptoms or diagnosis, but have been trying to conceive for over a year without success, or 6 months if they are over 35 years old. Some people have had multiple miscarriages. And some people have other reasons for being here. "
"That being said, many of us had our initial testing done before the year mark."
I'm just doing what I think is best and not advising anyone to do anything other than that.

Wow you just don't flipping get it, do you?

kkfeb04 · January 2013

kkfeb04 · January 2013

This is what you make us feel like you just don't get it!

creamsiclechica · January 2013

bbg676:
jeffsjayme:

::snip:::

If someone was able to struggle with getting pregnant for 5 years and never felt betrayed by their body, major kudos to them. If they never thought "Why aren't you ovulating?" or "Why aren't you eggs implanting?" or "Why does my uterus keep flushing every month?", then I think they're rare. I think their awesome and I'd love to know how they did that.

JJ - I have stayed out of this because I wasn't on April 2012 and have no problems with you, but I had to address this statement.

Are you really implying that you, who has "struggled" post-partum for 9 months, are equal to someone struggling with IF for five years?

Because reality is that for a lot of people, five years of struggling does make them feel betrayed by their body. The majority, at that point, are working with doctors or have sought them out at one point or another. They are trying to figure out why they aren't ovulating/implanting. Because they have infertility.

But you haven't been struggling for five years. You got pregnant the first cycle, unassisted. You gave birth 9 months ago - your body and it's hormones are still regulating and adjusting.

I get that having PCOS and not ovulating in the past makes you worried it might take longer this time around. I get that. But your body hasn't betrayed you. In fact, even with the PCOS and anovulation, you were able to get KU on your first try the first go-around. That seems like the opposite of betrayal.

The fact that you keep comparing yourself to someone that has IF is what bothers people. You have no idea the heartache and pain of going cycle after cycle, for years, with no positive outcome. Your body has not betrayed you.

Instead of contemplating how unfair your life is, crying to yourself and trying to find ways to 'distract' yourself, why don't you spend some time with your beautiful baby? It is totally normal to start TTC in the first year, but to feel like your body is broken because ZOMG IT ISN'T WORKING right after giving birth is abnormal.

It honestly sounds like you need to talk to someone and get your priorities straight. If you miss out on all the wonderful things of your baby because you're so driven to grow your family, you're going to look back someday and wonder what was so darn important to miss out on his now. It's one thing to be TTC. It's another to be obsessed with getting pregnant as soon as possible.

This is an absolutely perfect response. Just perfect, thank you.

And earlier, I did not mean to imply that secondary IF isn't a viable thing to be distraught over. It most certainly is, and no less diminished in priorities. But IMO, that's not at work here. And I feel that many doctors would even agree. I truly have never had a regular cycle in my entire life, and there's absolutely no way my doc would have started me on Clomid prior to my HSG. It's foolish, because as a PP mentioned, if there is a blockage, it won't even work. Were your TSH levels even checked? BF or not, most women undergo periods of hyper and hypo thyroidism PP, and that can affect ovulation too. Charting and temping PP will always be different than the results a woman who didn't just give birth will have. It just sounds like you found a guy who will listen to whatever you say so he can get more money from insurance, rather than using proper methods and figuring out if there's even a problem at all. Plus, you've been so flucking closed minded about the whole thing, it's absolutely infuriating. You still have NO idea how it feels, and the comparisons and excuses you are using are just exacerbating the situation.

And I'm supposed to cry because you didn't find your DH until you were 28? Boo *** hoo, sweetheart. That still doesn't justify any of this in the least.

gracefulash · January 2013

.... Where did it allll go?

BillyMaysHere · January 2013

BILLY MAYS (was) HERE!

GFY JEFFSJAYME

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