Oh, this is not how I wanted to spend my NYE. Dealing with an attitude from my DH. Things just haven't really been the same since I had LO. When he was born, my DH complained the entire time we were in L&D about how hungry he was, or bored he was, or how long it was taking (we had an emergency induction and they started me on pit at 5pm and he was here by 10:21pm, which isn't very long), and he didn't comfort me at all. Even though I had an epi, my contractions moved into my shoulders and I was having throbbing pain, the only way they wouldn't hurt so bad was if he would rub my shoulder and he got mad at that. Also, I was GBS+ which means you have to stay an extra day, and we also had to stay an additional day because LO was jaundice. My DH DOES NOT run well on no sleep, so when I was suppose to be resting, I was up non stop while he slept every night and I would get MAYBE an hour of sleep. He would even wake me up to change the diaper because he didn't know how.
Now that I am 8 weeks pp, he really hasn't helped much, he doesn't spend very much time with LO he says what is the point in spending time with him while he sleeps. That he is too young to remember.
I try and try to get him more involved with him and he doesn't want to. He never gets up with him at night, and he never has. When its the weekend and he doesn't have to work, I expect to get some sort of break but it doesnt happen.
I don't know what to do, I am totally fed up with his attitude when I ask him to help or ask him to spend time with his son. He just wants to skip to the age that he can actually play with him and not help me get him there. He was always so good with kids and he was the one that pushed for us to have a baby. I just dont know what to do anymore =/
Ourfasttrackfamily.blogspot.com
Re: Fed up w/DH (VENT, LONG)
Also, I'm not a doctor and I'm not saying this is what's going on, but men can also suffer from PPD. I'm not there so I don't know the exact situation, but it might explain some of his behavior...
ETA: I just thought if this too... It might be hard but of there are things that he is helping with, sometimes just thanking him for that might make him feel like doing more? Again I don't know the situation, but I know my DH always feels more helpful when I take the time to thank him for what he does do.
"For this child I prayed; and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of him:"
-1 Samuel 1:27
I would agree he sounds insecure. Some men take longer to adapt to major changes. And sleep deprivation has never made any situation better. Do your best to rest up and then talk to him.
Wow. I can't believe he's acting like that. Was he anything like this before? Behaviour change during pregnancy? I'd be moving him out to his parents for a while and getting someone like my mom to stay and help if he's not getting it. You need a break and to be of sound mind to take care of LO.
I have to tell DH daily what I need help with around the house, I tell him what our routine is on his days off, and have him help with bath time .. He's not comfortable doing it alone, so I don't force it... Maybe you just need to tell him how you are feeling, and offer to have him help with tasks with LO.
This. He needs to grow the eff up. You shouldn't have to do everything yourself (or ask for help repeatedly to no avail). I'd be seriously contemplating kicking his ass out if he didn't respond to one final (measured and very specific) request to get involved.