I feel like this is inevitable, so I'm doing the research on it now. It's still a challenge to take the plunge and actually register. This is long, so bless you if you read through it.
With our son a decade ago, we didn't have a shower. We were going to, but then two emergencies (one with us and one with the person who was throwing the shower) threw a wrench in our plans. We ended up buying most of the big stuff ourselves, and then getting a sh!t ton of stuff we didn't need or want from well meaning family and friends. We literally got stuff in triplicate. We got an abundance of clothes, most of which went unworn and ended up donated. DH and I were planning on just making all the baby purchases this time ourselves again.
So here we are, many years later, with a child of a different gender, so two of my best friends are insistent we get a shower. I was very resistant and outright said "NO", but they're wearing me down. I also am sure that people will be buying us stuff again, and I dread the room full of stuff we won't need or want. I'm hoping to keep the shower very small, and then if people other than those invitees ask where we are registered, we'll let the out-of-town family and close friends know about the registry, and just tell others, "We have everything we need, thank you!" and pray they don't decide to send something on their own.
I am still not at a point where I feel comfortable registering. I told DH I might feel better in a couple of weeks after the anatomy scan, to which he replied, "At some point, you have to accept the fact that there is a baby coming." I know intellectually he's right, it's just hard to accept emotionally.
When did you finally feel ok about registering?
Here's a nice assortment of fresh cut fruit if you read this far.
Re: When did you get over PGAL brain and do a registry?
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
I just responded on 2nd trimester ... Now to answer this question! Ha.
I actually started putting together a list of what I would like on Amazon this weekend. Nothing concrete, and I've made it private. We won't officially register until after our A/S on Jan. 30, although we are having an elective ultrasound this Friday. (But mainly for peace of mind so we can tell our families and closest friends we are expecting again. We decided to wait until WAY into this pregnancy to share our news, and boy am I hopeful and ready!)
I keep reminding myself that nothing we do can jinx our pregnancies, and now that I'm starting to feel some flutters, I figured it was time to get excited! I'm thrilled your friends want you to have a shower, you deserve it. Not to mention, it's good to register and get the completion discount!
EDT: But just to add, I won't get over PGAL brain until my living, breathing, healthy baby is in my arms.
We lost our first (EDD 07/23/12) after finding out at 12 weeks there was no longer a heartbeat. Our rainbow was born 05/22/13 and was worth all we went through.
“So can you understand? Why I want a daughter while I’m still young? I wanna hold her hand and show her some beauty before all this damage is done. But if it’s too much to ask, it’s too much to ask … Then send me a son.” – Arcade Fire
I'm still not over PGAL brain.
That said, I actually started a private registry on Amazon before we had our loss. I was at a phase in my life where I was literally going to an average of one baby shower every month, so I had plenty of time to start getting ideas and advice from people as to what were the best brands of XYZ, what were the must-haves, etc., etc. I also follow a lot of blogs, and many had lists of their top registry items. Long story short, at around 6 weeks pregnant with our first, I decided to just put all that knowledge into one place.
Then we had our loss, and I didn't look at the registry again until about a year later. I think maybe we were around 12 weeks along with this one before I could finally bear to look at it again. Some stuff was discontinued, and my tastes had changed with a few other things, so I made some adjustments, but much of it stayed the same from where it was a year ago. Just before Christmas I finally opened it up and made it non-private in case anyone wanted to buy anything off our registry for Christmas (though I only told my mom about it, so it was mostly in case anyone specifically went searching).
Like I said, I'm still terrified, but I do find the registry stuff helpful for keeping your own running list. We have yet to go into a store with a scanner, and I honestly have no desire to do that, though! Don't know if that's a product of PGAL brain, or if that's just me generally hating stores like BRU.
BFP #2 8/22/12 | EDD 5/5/13 | DS1 born 5/9/13
BFP #3 4/25/15 | EDD 1/7/16 | MMC 7/2/15 @ 13w1d | D&E 7/8/15
BFP #4 12/9/15 | EDD 8/22/16 | DS2 born 5/18/16 at 26w2d
Just keep swimming.
When we lost DS we were about 20 weeks.. This time I wouldn't even look at BRU before then and we didn't register until after we had a successful AS- actually 2, one at 18 weeks and one at about 21 I believe. I still worry and I've only got 61 days to go - but after I saw her on the AS I felt a smidge better.
Hope this helps a bit.. )
Hope that helps from my side. Happy new year!
m/c 2002 7w2d
bfp 9.6.12 | edd 5.17.13 | m/c 9.19.12 5w5d
bfp 10.18.12 | edd 6/28/13
beta#1 10.18.12 - 96 / progestrone 32 || beta#2 10.22.12 - 711 || beta#3 10.25.12 - 2608 DD born 6/27/13
bfp 7.16.14 | edd 3/27/15
beta#1 7.18.14 - 149 || beta#2 7.21.14 - ??
I didn't start buying really anything until after our anatomy scan at 20 weeks....and even then I had to start off doing it online, going into the stores was too overwhelming.
Remember that you are not going to jinx anything pretty lady and just take your time...for me, adding things online just seemed easier somehow, so maybe you could try doing that first?
And thanks for the yummy fruit!!
I created an Amazon registry around maybe 12 weeks, but it was set to private and solely for the purpose of helping me keep track of the "OMG you need this item" items that I would see on TB.
I made it public a week after the anatomy scan, and created the Target registry around week 24.
BFP 4/18/12, M/C 4/27/12 at 6w6d
BFP 7/1/12 - Counting down to our little girl, EDD 3/8/13
Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant
Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB , 2nd u/s 146bpm
baby girl born 5/10/13
TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28.
IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!! Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!
Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl
Mother to DD, born sleeping on 9/28/11, and DS, born 3/12/13, 5lbs 13oz, 19in
"You know my name, not my story.
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)
BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d
BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13
BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks
BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby