Daycare Center and Timeouts ?
pitterpatter129
member
So, recently my almost 2 year old has decided to see what he can get by with both at home and daycare. He's a toy throwing, hitting, yelling mess. 
At home, we put him in time out in a chair in our living room for two minutes (just started the 2 minutes instead of 1 min, he'll be two in two weeks.) Usually that ends the behavior pretty quickly. In fact, sometimes we just tell him if he does xyz thing again, time out it is, and that ends it.
I walk into daycare to pick him up the other day and his teacher is ducking toys that he's pelting in her direction!! Ack! They said he'd hit other kids that day too. Now, I have no idea why I'd never asked before, probably because he'd never done anything "bad" before (he's usually a pretty mellow little kid at daycare), but I had no idea what their time out policy was. I had just assumed they did time outs. Apparently, due to DHS regulations, they are not allowed to put kids in time out or even use the word "no" until they are three years old!! So, they are just ducking flying toys and "redirecting" him, which I can tell you won't work with Mr. Independent. Since it's a state regulation, it's not like changing centers. or even home based care, would change that policy.
Is this a similar policy across all states/regions? Can your daycare put kids under the age of 3 in timeout? Do you personally put your 2 year old in time out?
Re: Daycare Center and Timeouts ?
They don't exactly call it time out but they put them in the quiet chair if redirecting doesn't work. I've never heard of any regulations saying you can't say "no" That seems a little extreme especially when dealing with 2 year olds. I would sit down and talk to your DCP to figure out a good way to deal with these behaviors. Consistency is such a huge thing at this age. I know if I give in or do give a time out for something I usually do that DS2 will run with it. Then I'm starting back at ground zero again.
And yes both my big boys go to time out. DS1 didn't really start going until he was almost 2 but DS2 has been getting time outs since he was about17 months old. He's my little crazy one and hit 2 year old behavior well before he was actually 2. He's actually gotten better and my 3 year old is one that goes to time out more at this moment in time.
I've never done timeouts w/ DS. It's just not a tool that I feel would have worked for him. So, no, it's not a given that "everyone" does timeouts.
That being said, I would talk to the teacher in more detail about what exactly they do/ plan to do to curb the behavior. There comes a point where I feel "redirecting" doesn't always work. I think it's ridiculous they can't say "no" until age 3. But I think that's also a product of the trend to coddle kids.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I also think you should meet and talk with the teacher and come up with a plan on how to handle this. I feel like both of you should be doing the same type of discipline.
I think each kid is different too. Timeouts work for some and redirecting works for others. My son does well with just being redirected (not to say we haven't used time out too) But, when I say he is being redirected, I (or the teacher) remove him from the area in which he was misbehaving (ie where all the fun toys are), I sit him on the counter in the boring kitchen and firmly tell him we do not throw toys. It's dangerous and you can hurt your mommy and daddy, friends, puppy, etc. Are you going to throw toys again? He'll usually tell me no, he is usually sad and says he's sorry and we go back to playing. So in a way, it is a form of "time out" because he's being removed from the area. Of course, my guy is almost three, so maybe this won't work on a two year old, but I just thought I would throw this out there. Maybe your teachers will agree?
GL! Being a mom of a boy is definitely trying at times!
This. Timeouts is not part of our discipline program either.
Daycare does not use timeouts either.
Our daycare doesn't do time outs and we've never really used them at home either.
When DD was in the 2s room, they redirected them, in the 3s and now 4s they do a "sort of" time out, but realy its a redirection/removal.
If they are not playing nicely/not listening, etc. they are removed from teh situation. they either have to play in another area (as directed by the teacher) or they have to sit with the teacher for a few minutes. Then after a few minutes, they will ask if they want to go back to whatevr they were doing - but they never use the words "time out." They emphasize making good choices and rewarding good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior.
OP - I do think its a little lame that your DCP is letting a 2 yo throw cars at her as though that's acceptable behavior. Even if they don't do time out, there's no reason she can't confisicate the toys from him since he's not playing nicely.
I would be annoyed that the daycare was allowing the kind of blatant reckless behavior.
This. Yes, let my kid be an a-hole at daycare all dayso that I can work that much harder to correct the behavior at home.
Our daycares can't do "time-outs" like we do at home, but they have a "quiet chair" that the child sits in next to the teacher, and they talk about the behavior and what they can do differently.
I work at a center and our DCFS policy is 2. Ocassionally if there is a major issue and the child is almost 2 we give them a "cool down time," "rest time" or whatever you want to call it. Basically its a time out called something different
I also know that Dr notes trump DCFS here so we would be able to get a Dr note saying "Child XYZ understands and benefits from recieving a time out, please use a time out when neccessary and redirection is not working" and we would be able to put the child in time out. See if your daycare would be willing to do one of the above?
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
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Ours doesnt technically do them either but I think our current teachers will if the parents tell her they'd like her to..
But I have to be honest, is there really a difference between a 'time out' and having a kid sit in a quiet chair or quiet area or be removed from the situation other than semantics? Seriously. That's what a time out usually is- removal from the situation to calm down or stop doing whatever the behavior is.