Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Confessions Today!
I set alarms to remind myself to do things too. I don't always notice time passing.
I never got to read it either. By the time I got home to see it, it was HUGE. I might have to dig through it today and will try to help it stay alive for you.
Oh no! What are they doing? Bitching about timing? I feel as though you mentioned something about this but I have forgotten.
Confession: My wife and I DTD this morning and honestly- it was weird. It was straight up missionary and I swear I felt the baby kick me when my abdomen was pressed up against the belly and it really killed the moment for me.
Everyone told me pregnancy beautiful, but they are all f'ucking liars. It is pretty gross with all of the byproduct, the pregnancy hormones, etc etc etc. I know it is horrible for me to say and I feel a little guilty for saying it. My wife is still beautiful and being pregnant doesn't change that. It just.. I don't know.
She is self-conscience about it and it makes me self conscience and DTD is just a little awkward right now.
I guess I am the anti-version of the Kinky thread in 2nd Tri yesterday. My wife being pregnant doesn't enhance my arousal. Sorry.
Although.. +1 for the snail trail. Extra lube never hurts.
Don't feel guilty for feeling this way. I felt this way, and though my husband never said it out loud to me, I am almost certain he felt this way, too.
Say what? I definitely missed something.
I plan on drinking an entire bottle of wine by the time we leave for my mother's house tomorrow. Dinner is at 2pm.
edit: I may lie about going BF shopping tomorrow. I may need to leave early to get in line at Target at 6pm for the 9pm opening.
I am lying to my work. They know about the match, and know we find out in March and that DH will start in June.
But I keep telling them that DH loves the programs in this area and will rank them super high, and that isn't true. The two he had in this area are safeties and not great programs. There are much better ones elsewhere, so these two will be ranked low.
We could still end up here, depending on how he is ranked and the computer and all that, but I think the chances are slim. I just don't want to say that. They are talking about raises and promotions and I will keep my mouth shut till I know.
I guess if I'm going to comment on other confessions, I should come up with something, too.
Even though I'm off work, I sent Nora to day care. I have a lot to do that would be hard to get done with her underfoot. Yet, it's 9 a.m. and so far all I have done is Bump while watching the Today Show and eating Panera for breakfast.
So B has finally moved past the point of calling all of her dolls "Baby Betsy." But the new names she's chosen for them are just ridiculous. Most recently, their names were Crunchy, Gunjee, and Tunty.
So my (lame) confession is that I know it's just a matter of time before she names one of her dolls Cunty, and I will laugh so hard when that happens, and I will not make her change it to something else.
I am with your husband- I would never say anything to her about it. We still go on date nights, we still cuddle, etc and I am still very much attracted to her. It is just awkward and not as "Hallmark Moment" that everyone has played up to us.
I don't think she even wants to do pregnancy pictures because of how self-conscience she is. I think she will regret it later, but I am not going to press the issue because I can only imagine what you guys go through with pregnancy and how it distorts your self-image.
My DH and DS are leaving tomorrow around 11:00 am for a camping trip. I am so excited for my upcoming alone time. It's my wedding anniversary gift.
I did this during the Match process too- for my own job though. I ended up where I thought I was going to match, but I didn't want to burn any bridges before I knew what was going on. It all works out, no worries.
Although, from experience- don't let your DH post anything about where he matches on social media before you tell your job. I made that mistake and someone told my DH's job before he did.
WTF?
"let me test this theory by putting the life of a child at danger"
To your MIL:
You should definitely encourage her to. I didn't want to do any pregnancy pictures (I wasn't self-conscious but I was very superstitious). I finally caved when we hit 38 weeks and thank goodness I did, because I went into labor 2 days later. I'm so glad that we did because I seriously can't even conceptualize how big I was, and having those pictures is a nice reminder of how far I've come.
I love having that marker even though I didn't feel very sexy at the time. But, not all pictures are about looking sex.
Aw, I hope she changes her mind about pictures. I had a good "Momtographer" friend of mine do them for me. I trust her, and I knew she wouldn't make me do anything I wasn't comfortable with (I didn't do any bare belly, for example), and though I felt and looked like a beluga whale about to deliver triplets, I'm so glad I have those pictures.
Truth x 1,000,000.
Also, I haven't been weepy about packing up and giving away clothes. Like you, I saved a few things, but mostly, I'm ready to ship it out as soon as she outgrows it.
Do you want those adorable little pink and white shoes back for Quinn? I'd be happy to send them to you.
I am a hippocrate. We turned P FFing in MH's truck and when she rides in anyone else's car she's usually FFing. But in my car I refuse to turn her. I'm not sure if it's just turning is a PITA and she doesn't mind RFing or because I want her to be as safe as possible when she's in my car. BTW she's 2 on Dec 4th and 25+ lbs.
She's not typically in anyone else's car and if she is, it's not for long periods of time.
roflmao at this comment.
True to that!!
#1-DS is 1. I don't see the point in buying him a bunch of crap for his birthday and Christmas, when everyone else will and he won't know the difference.
#2-I hate having sex now, because my PP body grosses me out. DH says he loves it, but if I'm grossed out by it, there's no way he isn't too.
Confession: I am not. They don't vacuum very often here at the office.
I'm sorry.
If you wanna talk about it, we're here for you. ((hugs))
Oh, my. Whoa. How scary indeed!
We are going to lock our Facebook walls down the week before so no one accidentally outs us. Monday they tell us he matched, Friday we learn where. I think I may wait till Monday to say. Unless we stay in this area, then I will cry. I mean, tell them right away. I love my job, but hate the crowds and cost of living here.
Lol.
I may not have really laughed out loud.
Whatever dude, I am alight from the glow of within.
I think your confession is totally normal and I don't blame you for it, I'm just really glad my DH doesn't feel that way.
My confession, I have a Justin Bieber and a Call Me Maybe station on Pandora. Sometimes I just need some stupid mindless bubblegum pop.
I have two.
1) I feel very disconnected from baby number 2 this time around. I haven't felt movement yet. I don't really look pregnant. I haven't really had symptoms. I don't know if it is because this is the second and I am in a "been there done that" mind set. Or if it is because I have a two year old this time around. It kinda scares me and I worry if this wil continue when the new baby gets here
2) My stepdad's mother (who used to mke me feel like crap when I was a kid) asked him to invite us over for thanksgiving so she could meet penny. he told he no we already have plans. He understands why I feel the way I feel about his mom and is very supportive. But I know it makes him sad. I know he woud love to see us on thanksgiving but he knows since his mom will be there (she kinda just incites herself over) that I don't want to. I love that he accepts and understands my feelings...But I do feel like a bad daughter now that I can't get over things from years ago...
So not flammable.
My H definitely feels this way and he does let me know about it. I don't mind the honesty and I can read him like a book anyways. But definitely don't say anything.
My Pregnancy pictures turned out like crap. I haven't showed the disc to anyone and I mostly blame the new photographer. He did the shoot for free since he needed mat pics for his portfolio. I really hope he didn't use them because no one would hire him after seeing all those chins.
I have this awful habit of chewing on and picking at my lips. It is really weird and gross. H hates it and always gets on to me when he catches me doing it, but I don't even realize I'm doing it most of the time!
Anyways, my confession is that it's too darn early and DH is snoring next to me. He sounds like a big jowly dog in his sleep. It's seriously pissing me off that I cant get up to pee and not go back to bed thanks to his loud, gross snoring. Makes me want to smother him sometimes.
SEE! There is never a lame Betsy story.
My real confession. I am supposed to go snuggle a baby and have coffee with friends. I also need to go look at another friends crib and have coffee with her. I would rather stay home, play with my kid, clean and bump. I am rarely home anymore and I just want to enjoy it for a couple days.
Holy crap.