Conflicted emotions — The Bump
Snarky and T-TTC

Conflicted emotions

Everyone knows that pregnancy announcements to IFers suck and hurt. Well my sister is starting to TTC. Ugh! She texted me that they want to start but she feels guilty that she may have a baby before me.

I love my sister to death! For her to get pregnant easily and without any of the heartache I endured would be so great! However for her to be a mom before me, or her to be a mom and me never achieve that, really really sucks!

I realize its very, very likely that she'll get pregnant long before me, and while its what I want her to have for her life, it will hurt.

I hate you, infertility!
image

My Blog /
My Chart

TTC since Jan 2007 with MFI and crappy left tube
IUI#1 (10/09)=ectopic
Natural (03/10)=ectopic
IUI#2 (08/10)=ectopic

IVF#1 (10/11)=BFN
(4 frozen embryos)

Natural (01/12)=ectopic
Emergency lap and left tube removal.Dx with Stage III endo.
Natural (08/12)=M/C of twins at 8 wks with d&c
Waiting for FET

Re: Conflicted emotions

  • Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. ((Big Hugs))  That is so incredibly hard. You have every right to feel conflicted. IF is pure hell. I pray with all my heart that you and your sister both get to experience your dream.
    TTC #1 Dx: severe MFI
    IVF with ICSI #1: BFP
    TESE for DH 08/09/09
    ER 08/09/09; ET 08/14/09; Beta #1 08/23/09: 150; Beta #2 08/25/09: 267
    TTC #2: FET #1: BFP
    ET 06/16/11; Beta #1 06/25/11: 282; Beta #2 06/27/11: 777
    First u/s: Twins! Baby A stopped growing @ 9 weeks, forever in our hearts
    TTC #3: FET #2: c/p lost at 4 weeks
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • ((hugs))

    Yup.

    My sister got pregnant 2 mos after getting married.  My nephew is now almost 5 mos old.  If I had her kind of luck, I'd have an almost 4 year old right now.  Sh!t, I'd have 2 kids by now!

    Thankfully, she's super awesome & motherhood hasn't changed her one bit but it's still hard.  I'm kind of thankful we'll likely be having ER or ET around Christmas so I can have an excuse to be on bedrest because I don't want to deal with all of the  "BABY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS!!!" crap.  I mean, it's not her fault my ladygarden sucks, but it doesn't make it any easier.

    image

    TTC since 2008

    8 IUIs of varying med combos: all BFNs

    IVF #1 w/ICSI (Long Lupron): 5R, 2M, 1F

    3dt of 1 = BFFN

    IVF #2 w/ICSI (Antagonist): 10R, 8M, 4F

    3dt of 2 = BFMFN

    1 frosty just chillin'

    IVF #3 (Antagonist): started stims 12/15

    Click here to look inside my warped little infertile mind
  • I'm sorry sweetheart. I hope with everything I've got your FET will be successful, whenever that is. 

    Chart




    image

    Waiting anxiously for someone to come home



    Anniversary

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


    IUIs #1 & 2 BFN, IUI #3 chemical pregnancy.

    IVF cycle 1: ER 8/27 10R, 8M, 6F No frosties for us, none survived to freeze

    Two transferred 9/1

    First beta 247, second beta 487. 9/20 Twins!

    Grow little babies, please, please continue to grow

  • image Anasara:
    hugs
    Yup.
    My sister got pregnant 2 mos after getting married.nbsp; My nephew is now almostnbsp;5 mos old.nbsp; If I had her kind of luck, I'd have an almost 4 year old right now.nbsp; Sh!t, I'd have 2 kids by now!
    Thankfully, she's super awesome amp; motherhood hasn't changed her one bit but it's still hard.nbsp; I'm kind of thankful we'll likely be having ER or ET around Christmas so I can have an excuse to be on bedrest because I don't wantnbsp;to deal with all of the nbsp;"BABY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS!!!" crap.nbsp; I mean, it's not her fault my ladygarden sucks, but it doesn't make it any easier.

    I just KNOW this is going to be me! And honestly I know it's not fair to her to put her life on hold because I can't get KU and stay KU, but dammit it's just not fair!! I'm older, I've been married longer and I've been trying longer. I should be first! :[
    image

    My Blog /
    My Chart

    TTC since Jan 2007 with MFI and crappy left tube
    IUI#1 (10/09)=ectopic
    Natural (03/10)=ectopic
    IUI#2 (08/10)=ectopic

    IVF#1 (10/11)=BFN
    (4 frozen embryos)

    Natural (01/12)=ectopic
    Emergency lap and left tube removal.Dx with Stage III endo.
    Natural (08/12)=M/C of twins at 8 wks with d&c
    Waiting for FET
  • ((Hugs))
    someecardscom - Im well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today
    DD1: allergic to eggs & dairy Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    c/p 4/1/11

    DD2: milk and soy protein intolerant, allergic to eggs, soy, peanuts, tree nuts, sesame, bananasBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    MSPI Moms Check-In Blog
  • :(
    image image image
    Expectation is the root of all heartache ~William Shakespeare

    TTC since 1/08-- 2 IVF's (11/09 and 4/10)- total of 10 fert but no embryos for transfer :(

    Forced break after abdominal myomectomy

    Spring 2011 - IVF #3 - nothing for transfer

    Fall/Winter 2011 - IVF #4 - one lost twin between 7-9 weeks
    one beautiful little girl born 8/2012
  • ((HUGS)) IF sucks on so many levels. I don't have a sister, but my cousin is like my sister. She grew up couple houses from ours. She was married 4 years after me and pregnant within the first couple months of being married. I was just in the thick of IF. It sucked. I was happy for her, but couldn't help being sad at the same time. I'm sending lots of prayers your way.
    imageimage

    After 22 cycles and tube removal our IVF miracle has arrived! Detailed IF and IVF info in bio.


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Ohhh this sucks katt3233. The one positive is that you and your sister are close enough that she addressed it immediately with you and shared her feelings. Some families would never have talked about the elephant in the room. It might sound terrible, but I think people should feel at least a little guilty or awkward if they are close to someone with IF and they conceive easily. I know when we thought we were pregnant the first month (the beginnings of 2.5 yrs of problems) I felt guilty thinking it was easy for us when it's so hard for some people. Little did I know I would be one of those 'some people'.

    It's such a crappy heartbreaking situation. It sounds like the only thing you can do is maintain that honest communication and separate yourself when you need to.

    Take care!

    30 yrs, healthy & TTC since April 2010 
    DH 32yrs & healthy
    *unexplained infertility* 

    Regularly access alternative medicine to supplement a lack of resources in our geographical area.
    • Three rounds of clomid (50mg days 3-7) were useless.
    • IUI#1 w/clomid & HCG in May 2013, BFN.
    • IUI#2 w/clomid & HCG on July 23rd. BFN.
    • IUI #3 in August cancelled last minute, due to lab error.
    • IVF#1 - Started Gonal F stims October 13 2013 for IUI. Over-responded with too many follicles, so converted to IVF. Retrieval October 29th - got 5 eggs, 4 fertilized. Had 2 perfect little embryos transferred on day 3 (Nov. 1). The remaining 2 didn't survive to freeze. Got our BFN on November 13th 2013.
    • IVF#2 - Started stims August 21st. Triggered with Suprefact, started on dostinex due to risk of OHSS. Retrieval September 5th - got 27 eggs! 21 embryos on day 3. Embryos deteriorated quickly. ESet 5day blast on Sept 10. No embryos high enough quality to freeze. BFN came Sept. 22.

    Reserved a semi-known proven donor in August .

    Waiting for consult/screening and protocols with estimated fresh cycle timing in October



    image
  • Preach it!!  Seems like EVERY ONE of my single friends (not in committed relationships, I should say) has gotten pregnant in the past year.  And today I heard about ANOTHER one!  I'm just sick about it.  But I just smile and congratulate them and wish them the best...hopefully my day is coming soon. 
  • Totally understand your situation. From family to friends who have announced they are pregnant.  DH and I have gone through this for 6 years now. 

     Have you tried the free known donor registry? http://knowndonorregistry.com/  If you do try it or have tried it, let me know how it worked for you. 

    image
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