Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: RCS with 2 yr old at home
DD1 was 23 months old when we brought DD2 home. I had 2 weeks of help (DH took off the first week to be home and my mom came to stay with us for the second week) but after that I was on my own.
It really wasn't that bad. DD2 was a great baby and only nursed, pooped and slept. She didn't give me much trouble.
The main thing to remember is your new baby isn't going to remember anything. S/he'll be fine if your DD1 needs 5 more minutes of attention. I avoided the "I can't do X right now, because the new baby needs me" stuff. I made sure I wasn't holding/fussing over the new baby 24/7 and always made a point to do something alone with DD1 at least once per day, while DD2 was napping.
Both of my c/s recoveries were a breeze, but I did take advantage of feeling good and overdo it a bit at 2w pp with DD2 and ended up in a lot of pain. Listen to your body and stop when you need to stop. Since you have to care for your toddler and a newborn, the dishes or laundry can wait an extra day.
DD#1 will be 3 in December. I came home last Saturday from my RCS. Both of my C-sections were pretty easy when it came to recovery. This time I took my pain meds a little longer than last time. I think that is due to the fact that I was much more mobile than last time since I have a toddler. DD#1 has been really great to her little sister, but she has been down right defiant to me. I knew this would be a tough adjustment for her though. Each day gets a little better and each day I learn how to give her the attention she needs without giving in to all rules and letting her just run wild.
Luckily I have an awesome DH and he has really stepped in with her to give her the attention that I just can't give her right now. If he is just running to the gas station he will take her with him. He randomly comes up with fun stuff for her to do. Like Saturday he raked all the leaves into a big pile so she could jump in them. Last night he walked in the door from work and she asked to go to the park. He didn't even hesitate and said sure lets go.
Day by day we learn how to be a family of 4!
My 2nd c-section I had an 18 month old at home.
My 3rd c-section I had a 19 month old and a just turned 3YO at home.
My 4th c-section (about 6 weeks ago), I had a 6YO, 5YO and 3YO at home.
My DH is only able to take 2 weeks off (1 week when I'm in the hospital and 1 week I'm at home). After that, I'm on my own.
It hasn't been bad. I make sure to prep ahead of time for everything. This is key because I'm EBF and need to be out the door at a specific time.
You'll find your groove. Just make sure your older one is entertained and taken care of before you change/burp/feed the baby.
GL!
I am just about a month out and am still not lifting my daughter, but I had other complications during surgery. However, I really recommend having someone who can entertain/help you out with your toddler. Regardless of recovery, you are going to want time with your new LO an having someone to put a lot of attention on your toddler has been super helpful.
Good luck!