Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
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Click
I find myself often wishing for a magic remote that takes me past this time of unhappiness like in the movie "Click". I was so happy before the pregnancy, overjoyed when I took the test, now I cant stop crying and being depressed and consumed by the thought of pregnancy. I know that every woman's experience is different. I was only 3 months pregnant, but my heart hurts sooooooooo bad. Almost every woman I know has had a mc. Why don't they tell u this when you get pregnant? How do u know what God wants for you? Should I start trying right away or wait? How can I tell what He wants over what I want? When I had my first son I was 19. I was so scared. I didn't know how I was going to provide for him by myself, but I found a way. I think if I have this on my heart and mind, then maybe that's what God wants me to do. Not worry about what might hold me back or let the bad things consume my life. My brothers wedding is in june, If I start trying again and it happens with a healthy pregnancy, then the birth would be in july along with the rest of my family (both my boys 6 and 9 yrs old, my husband and both his brothers). I would be 8 mos preg at my brothers wedding as a bridesmaid. Can u imagine that? lol How could something sooooo right, turn out to be sooo wrong? Im not worried about the inconveniences in my life because I feel that those are the things that help u to live. I just want my baby back. My doc tells me to wait until after my 1st period because of hormones and mental stability, but frankly I feel like I will be more mentally stable when I get pregnant again and sooner the better. Im going to wait till my 2 week check up next week to start trying again, but how do they expect me to wait longer when I keep hearing of women having such healthy pregnancies right after the mc. I dont want to miss my chance. I know I am all over with my feelings and what I'm talking about with this post. It's just what is in my head right now and I had to get it out. I don't really want to keep bombarding my family with my mc and my feelings so I figured why not pour my heart out to strangers that are going through the same thing I am. Thanks for listening. Oh and I see a lot of women are "sprinkling baby dust" on some boards that I've been on. So, if by chance that actually works, I wish you all are sprinkled with baby dust. God bless and keep the hope. I am trying too.
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Re: Click
Sorry for your loss. Only time will make it easier...
(Hugs)
#1 BFP 2/24/11 EDD 10/29/11 Born 11/1/11
(via emergency c-section due to prolapsed cord; dx with sensorineural hearing loss Feb 2012)
#2 BFP 9/13/12 EDD 5/20/13 Natural M/C 10/3/12
#3 BFP 11/13/12 EDD 7/27/13
I'm so sorry for what you are going through...I think most of us can relate. It's so hard not knowing what the future will hold and trying not to hold on to the past. I had my D&C almost three weeks ago. I have been feeling so sad, but I am feeling kind of strangely hopeful and at peace today. I am doing my best to trust that there are good things in store for me, and that they will happen at the right time.
One of my best friends had three miscarriages last year (after having one healthy pregnancy two years earlier). One of her friends who was raised with a lot of Eastern philosophy told her that many people believe that when a soul is trying to come to you, it will get to you one way or another. She found it comforting at the time, and I think believes it even moreso now that she is due with twins in a few months (no medical intervention to conceive!). I really believe those babies just really wanted to be a part of her family, and I am hopeful that my baby is trying to get to me too.