FFFC!

Christina_Diane · September 2012

mrs+harlow:
My FFFC is that I wasn't a good enough friend to someone. I didn't try hard enough when someone was in pain and hurting.
Right after I graduated college, I met this amazing, beautiful person and we became close friends very quickly. I adored her. My husband ( then boyfriend at the time) adored her. We lived two streets away from each other so we were always together. We had a falling out that was a bit complicated. She said some mean things and I said some things that she probably didn't want to hear. We didn't talk for awhile. After Hurricane Katrina, she left me a message on my answering machine asking about my family. I called her back but she never returned my call. I was upset and my husband even went to try to find her where she worked but they told him she had moved.
Through all of these years, I have thought about her and worried about her. I've tried to find her- through MySpace then Facebook..through phone number look ups.
DH and I went to Ft. Lauderdale in April of 2011. I thought I saw her one night sitting with a guy outside of a hotel. DH wanted to go see if it was her but I said no. She looked so happy. I hope it was her.....and that she was that happy girl having drinks with someone on that beautiful beach night.
I fell asleep on the couch Wednesday night with the TV on TLC. DH came home at about 2:30 am and I was getting everything sorted out to bring L upstairs. I hear two voices that I recognize on the TV and turn to look. It's the Mother and sister of my friend. They are in tears. Then her picture flashes on the screen. The show was "Long Island Medium". My friend passed away 21 days before Luke was born. It's all very surreal and I am heartbroken.
Sorry my FFFC is so long.

I am sorry for your loss and that it seems like you never really got any closure with this friend.

puppylove64 · September 2012

Tambcat:
Oh no, I feel you on that part. It was the part about pregnancy weight I was reacting to. That's a pretty sensitive topic for a lot of people.

oh i gotcha, well i didn't want to call her out too much so i kept it vague.... i guess pregnancy weight was the wrong term to use

EmmieB1025 · September 2012

mrs+harlow that is a sad story. I hope you find peace with this.

It makes me really sad when I stop and think about people that I've been close friends with in the past and then lost touch with over the years. I guess that is just the seasons of life, but it doesn't make it any easier.

jkfranklin · September 2012

mrsharlow:
My FFFC is that I wasn't a good enough friend to someone. I didn't try hard enough when someone was in pain and hurting.Right after I graduated college, I met this amazing, beautiful person and we became close friends very quickly. nbsp;I adored her. My husband then boyfriend at the time adored her. We lived two streets away from each other so we were always together. We had a falling out that was a bit complicated. She said some mean things and I said some things that she probably didn't want to hear. We didn't talk for awhile. After Hurricane Katrina, she left me a message on my answering machine asking about my family. I called her back but she never returned my call. I was upset and my husband even went to try to find her where she worked but they told him she had moved.Through all of these years, I have thought about her and worried about her. I've tried to find her through MySpace then Facebook..through phone number look ups.nbsp;DH and I went to Ft. Lauderdale in April of 2011. I thought I saw her one night sitting with a guy outside of a hotel. DH wanted to go see if it was her but I said no. She looked so happy. I hope it was her.....and that she was that happy girl having drinks with someone on that beautiful beach night.I fell asleep on the couch Wednesday night with the TV on TLC. DH came home at about 2:30 am and I was getting everything sorted out to bring L upstairs. I hear two voices that I recognize on the TV and turn to look. It's the Mother and sister of my friend. They are in tears. Then her picture flashes on the screen. The show was "Long Island Medium". My friend passed away 21 days before Luke was born. It's all very surreal and I am heartbroken.nbsp;Sorry my FFFC is so long.nbsp;

I am so sorry! I think this needs its own post. There is nothing to flame here! Hugs!

course11 · September 2012

1. I have the opposite issue as Christina_Diane. I've hated my boobs since adolescence because they are/were huge (DD - out of proportion to the rest of my body). I even considered a reduction in my early 20's but decided to try to accept my body as-is. FFC #1 is that when I got cancer 2 years ago and lost one breast, a small part of me was happy because it meant that I get to have that reduction - and insurance will cover it! I'm currently very misshapen as my reconstructed side is a C and the natural side is HH thanks to nursing, but when we're done with kids I'm gonna get all matched up and have the cutest, perkiest little C rack -- I'm soooo excited about it, to the point where I wish we already had all our kids and I was done breastfeeding so I could have the surgery NOW!

2. My entire career is about helping people negotiate and resolve conflicts, and a big part of what I teach/consult is about the value of listening to other peoples' perspectives. Having said that, FFC #2 is that I think Romney is a DB and I can't stand listening to Republicans.

jkfranklin · September 2012

Christina_Diane:
As long as I can remember, I've always hated my boobs. I was always so self conscious about them. They are small. Before getting pregnant I wore an A cup. I was teased in high school for having small boobs, and a high school boyfriend always said he wanted to date a blond girl with DD boobs. Being a brunette with A boobs and low self esteem, this did not help. I've pined for implants since I was 16. I always compared myself to other women and the size of their boobs.nbsp;Fast forward to the day after I delivered DS and was having problems latching. Not one, not two, but three different nurses AND the LC said I had perfect boobs for BFing. nbsp;Before DS, I never thought of boobs as anything other than an accessory, or a sexualized part of a woman's body. Having DS, hearing that my boobs, the same boobs that I thought were shiity, we're perfect for BFing, and EBF for 5 months now makes me feel a million times better about my boobs. I planned on getting augmentation after kids, but now I don't think I need to anymore. But then again, asks me how I feel after 23 kids.nbsp;

Yay boobs!

peanuthe · September 2012

mrs+harlow- I hope you find peace about your friend. Hugs!

raynes · September 2012

Christina_Diane:
As long as I can remember, I've always hated my boobs. I was always so self conscious about them. They are small. Before getting pregnant I wore an A cup. I was teased in high school for having small boobs, and a high school boyfriend always said he wanted to date a blond girl with DD boobs. Being a brunette with A boobs and low self esteem, this did not help. I've pined for implants since I was 16. I always compared myself to other women and the size of their boobs.nbsp;Fast forward to the day after I delivered DS and was having problems latching. Not one, not two, but three different nurses AND the LC said I had perfect boobs for BFing. nbsp;Before DS, I never thought of boobs as anything other than an accessory, or a sexualized part of a woman's body. Having DS, hearing that my boobs, the same boobs that I thought were shiity, we're perfect for BFing, and EBF for 5 months now makes me feel a million times better about my boobs. I planned on getting augmentation after kids, but now I don't think I need to anymore. But then again, asks me how I feel after 23 kids.nbsp;

That's really awesome! I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I Didn't realize what a PITA BFing would be with giant boobs. I look forward to being done with kids and BFing so I can get a reduction/lift.

JFH2010 · September 2012

Mine is that I would be way more of an AW if I knew how to post pics from my iphone or ipad. Not so much because I want the compliments, but because I feel like I "know" people better when they share photos, so I want to share them, too.

OneNiceThing, I was just wondering today who you are. I know it would seem weird to do one for yourself, but my guess is that everyone is much more likely to post on the thread than to nominate someone. There are a ton of people on here that I adore, and I want to post on their threads, but I've never actually nominated anyone. Hmmmm, maybe I should.

geekychic · September 2012

mrs+harlow:
My FFFC is that I wasn't a good enough friend to someone. I didn't try hard enough when someone was in pain and hurting.

I am sorry. I have a childhood friend of mine who committed suicide. I always wonder if I had emailed her back or called her, if she would still be alive.

It sucks. I still haven't brought myself to delete the last email she sent me.

JFH2010 · September 2012

rxbeth:
I realize Madison's hip dysplasia and harness are not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things and she is healthy otherwise but I'm so upset about the situation for many reasons.

Number 1 - it should have been taken care of earlier but her pedi is douche

Number 2 - she was already not really hitting milestones and now that she will be harnessed for 8 weeks I think she will be even more behind. She was trying to roll onto her tummy and one time almost got over but got her arm stuck. With the harness on, it's really hard to have her sitting up so I worry she'll be behind on that, too. She hates tummytime so I doubt she'll start armycrawling with the harness on.

I know she doesn't even need to be at these milestones yet but she isn't going to have the harness off until 7 months old and by then she should be rolling and sitting up and I'm not sure if she will be.

I've been feeling really sad all week about this.

ETA - I guess my confession is that I'm sad but probably shouldn't be.

I'm so sorry! But FWIW, I just went to a child development seminar yesterday and they talked about how inaccurate the "milestone markers" really are. Babies reach them at different ages, and they all catch up in the end. I would feel the same as you, but try to look ahead a few years - I bet it will seem like this time flew by.

CPhillz · September 2012

I'll feel really bad if its me who posts pics of their LO's too much (which I know I do!) You guys are just always really nice and say you like seeing pics of Camden, so I like to post them! Definitely isn't just to get "awww he's so cute"! Not my intention at all, I swear! I just love sharing pictures of him because he's all I'm around all day long and pretty much my entire life lately. And most of my posts are -share YOUR pics too- because I LOVE the picture threads! I find them much more entertaining than some of the other posts!

And mrs.harlow, I am so sorry about your friend! Thats a crazy story! :-(

My FFFC: My MIL crocheted Camden a huge Captain America 'shield' afghan. It is AWESOME. I found the pattern online and asked if she could do it, and she made it special for him. Once my nephews saw it, they got insanely jealous and demanded they get one too. My MIL is too nice and said of course. I got so angry and upset - I wanted that blanket to be special for Camden because Capt. America is his 'thing' and MIL made it just for HIM. My nephews are spoiled brats and get whatever they want. I flat out told them no they couldn't have the Captain America one, but they should find their OWN pattern. I probably sounded like a brat myself, but aahhh, made me SO mad! hahahahah. Silly, I know.

Tambcat · September 2012

What opinions?

MarxieVonTrapp · September 2012

Mrs. Harlowe, it might help to write a note/letter to your friend's mother and sister, letting them know how often you thought of her. Even though it's been several months, I'm sure they'd appreciate hearing from someone who cared for their sister/daughter. You should be able to find an address from your friend's obit.

My confession: I am super annoyed at my friend because I don't like her baby shower idea. I volunteered to throw it, but I wanted to do something elegant and nice. She wants a coed shower with jeans and football. She doesn't have a lot of girl friends which is probably where the idea came from. I just can't imagine any guy wanting to go to a baby shower, and with a 12-person guest list, I don't even know what to do. I'm so incredibly irritated, and I realize it's irrational. I really don't want to go out to dinner with her and her husband tonight because I'm so irritated.

jenbelsan · September 2012

lindy27:
jkfranklin:
Back when we were all pregnant everyone was whining about wanting to deliver so they could have their bodied back. I said that if you planned to bf, you would not have your body back. Everyone was like, "no its different. I will too have my body back!" I said, ok, if you say so. FF to after giving birth, those same ladies whined about not having their bodies back and I really really wanted to say, I told you so! I refrained, but I guess this is me saying I told you so!

I knew I wouldn't have my old body back, but everybody says if you bf the weight will just fall off, I can't lose a pound for the life of me anymore. I also didn't realize the emotional toll being overweight would have on me.

this. and forget secksy time.

jacka02 · September 2012

MarxieVonTrapp:

Mrs. Harlowe, it might help to write a note/letter to your friend's mother and sister, letting them know how often you thought of her. Even though it's been several months, I'm sure they'd appreciate hearing from someone who cared for their sister/daughter. You should be able to find an address from your friend's obit.

My confession: I am super annoyed at my friend because I don't like her baby shower idea. I volunteered to throw it, but I wanted to do something elegant and nice. She wants a coed shower with jeans and football. She doesn't have a lot of girl friends which is probably where the idea came from. I just can't imagine any guy wanting to go to a baby shower, and with a 12-person guest list, I don't even know what to do. I'm so incredibly irritated, and I realize it's irrational. I really don't want to go out to dinner with her and her husband tonight because I'm so irritated.

First of all, that is so nice of you to throw a shower for your friend. I agree about the coed shower situation. Unless it is out of town or something, i think it should just be for the female. I helped throw one for my friend, and besides her H, only one other guy actually came. The other guy looked so out of place and awkward, i felt really bad for him. The good news is, the jeans and football idea will probably cost you less money! Just give her what she wants, and be done with it ya know?

JFH2010 · September 2012

jacka02:
MarxieVonTrapp:

Mrs. Harlowe, it might help to write a note/letter to your friend's mother and sister, letting them know how often you thought of her. Even though it's been several months, I'm sure they'd appreciate hearing from someone who cared for their sister/daughter. You should be able to find an address from your friend's obit.

My confession: I am super annoyed at my friend because I don't like her baby shower idea. I volunteered to throw it, but I wanted to do something elegant and nice. She wants a coed shower with jeans and football. She doesn't have a lot of girl friends which is probably where the idea came from. I just can't imagine any guy wanting to go to a baby shower, and with a 12-person guest list, I don't even know what to do. I'm so incredibly irritated, and I realize it's irrational. I really don't want to go out to dinner with her and her husband tonight because I'm so irritated.

First of all, that is so nice of you to throw a shower for your friend. I agree about the coed shower situation. Unless it is out of town or something, i think it should just be for the female. I helped throw one for my friend, and besides her H, only one other guy actually came. The other guy looked so out of place and awkward, i felt really bad for him. The good news is, the jeans and football idea will probably cost you less money! Just give her what she wants, and be done with it ya know?

In my circle of friends most showers are coed. I couldn't imagine having my shower without my male friends. All the men who were invited to mine came and had a great time (well, the second part is subjective, but I think so!)

I know the whole point of your post is that it's irrational, so I guess it goes without saying :-)

geekychic · September 2012

I wanted a coed shower because most of my friends are male (I work in a male dominated field so it just happened).

My aunt-in-law threw my shower and I didn't have a say in it because she organized it. It was girls only.

Another friend threw a less formal 'work' one that boys were allowed to.

IttyBittyBee · September 2012

This isn't flameworthy but another confession is that I know EVERY SINGLE word to Notorious BIG's Juicy and One More Chance. They are classics, just like Jane Eyre.

tiannalee · September 2012

IttyBittyBee:
This isn't flameworthy but another confession is that I know EVERY SINGLE word to Notorious BIG's Juicy and One More Chance. They are classics, just like Jane Eyre.

This made me fall in love with you.

creamsiclechica · September 2012

tiannalee:
IttyBittyBee:
This isn't flameworthy but another confession is that I know EVERY SINGLE word to Notorious BIG's Juicy and One More Chance. They are classics, just like Jane Eyre.
This made me fall in love with you.

+1! Tell me you Enter the 36 Chambers and I might stalk you obsessively.

jacka02 · September 2012

tiannalee:

IttyBittyBee:
This isn't flameworthy but another confession is that I know EVERY SINGLE word to Notorious BIG's Juicy and One More Chance. They are classics, just like Jane Eyre.

This made me fall in love with you.

hahaha i know every word of Going back to cali.

creamsiclechica · September 2012

Also softskate, I just got a chance to tell you that you should be incredibly proud of your weight loss journey and for hitting milestones, despite how much you need to go. Goals are goals, big and small, and it's important to revel in accomplishing them I think. I think you're fundamentally you, no matter what weight you are, and that doesn't define your personality or character, so as you lose, you might find confidence and new abilities, but you won't lose the charm that makes people identify with you.

I think just because you have differing opinions doesn't mean you don't deserve an elf gift or that someone would just not do it. It also doesn't make anyone superior or inferior here, no matter what kind of opinions or beliefs they have. If we were all the same person, things (especially here) would get a little boring. But as much as you can dish it, you have to be able to take it, that's my stance on things. I did notice a few offhanded comments myself, directed about people who were just simply being honest with you about how they felt. I don't think nastiness is the proper comeback for honesty. So I hope that you continue you find a happy medium here, because I consider you both an asset to the board and an intelligent, educated, valuable opinion. Even if I don't always agree with the conclusions you draw. Make sense?

mrs+harlow, I am so sorry for your loss and that you found out about in such a startling way. I'm so sorry you have such guilt, and I agree with the PP who said a letter to her family about how much you cared about her would do you a world of good, and it will continue to let her family know how much of an impact she made on lives in the time she was here. Hugs!!

jesbeth · September 2012

I get a lot of anxiety taking DD out in public and taking the bus (which I rely on). I worry about rude bus drivers, having to give up my space on the bus for a wheelchair (the bus has two spaces designated for wheelchairs/scooters, strollers, etc.) and getting the side-eye if DD cries for so much as a second. Or people side-eying me thinking I'm a teen mom (I swear I'm 30!).

What helps me overcome this anxiety is knowing that DD will get a lot of compliments and people will tell me how cute she is, etc. By the time I get home, I'm in a great mood and flush with pride. It's worth it every time.

Another FFFC, I hate that wheelchairs/scooters are allowed on buses, the reason being that we have a separate bus system for disabled people that is like a taxi service. The driver will pick you up and take you wherever you want and they are trained to handle getting people on and off safely. I hate seeing rude bus drivers yell at people in wheelchairs because they take "too long" to back in and get buckled, and then hearing the customer frustrated because the bus won't take them exactly where they want to go.

IttyBittyBee · September 2012

creamsiclechica:
tiannalee:
IttyBittyBee:
This isn't flameworthy but another confession is that I know EVERY SINGLE word to Notorious BIG's Juicy and One More Chance. They are classics, just like Jane Eyre.
This made me fall in love with you.
+1! Tell me you Enter the 36 Chambers and I might stalk you obsessively.

Omg! I have an embarassing pic of me in hs posing gangsta-style infront of my Wu-tang poster in my bedroom. I of course was wearing my oversized Perry Ellis jacket and rocking the brown lipstick. Ahhhhhhhhh... Memoriiiiiiies.

Patella1129 · September 2012

softskate31:
I like picture threads. I think the photo contest is getting a little silly though. I love seeing the babies, but I'm over the contest part.

If an internet "stranger" needs a few complements from the group - then that is fine with me. maybe she is having a bad day and needs a pick-me-up. Sure there is some AWing but if you don't like it, don't open it.

My real FFFC is that I think my random crap person will intentionally not send me anything b/c I don't always have the same opinions as the popular gals and I don't go along with the group-think on here.

My other FFFC is that I am afraid to lose weight. For 25 years my major identifier has been the fat/plump/chubby/portly girl - and I don't know what I will be after the weight is off. I am losing slow and steady - I got my first 10 pounds WW goal today, and I am now 8 pounds under m y wedding weight. I still have over 100 pounds to go to get to a realistic goal weight - and I am scared.

You will still be you---just a healthier version of yourself! You will have more energy and less healthy issues as you get older. That's good for you and your kids! Congratulations on your first 10 pounds goal! Keep it up!

MrsA71208 · September 2012

I just read the entire 6 pages and all I have to say is ADUB I totally agree with you.

Marie509 · September 2012

Because I'm in a mopey mood-- I'll finally post this. I've been thinking about it and may as well just do it.

I wish I had more of a personal connection with people on here. I know it's because I don't post in the 'heated' debates, during the day, and I'm not really sure how to portray my personality over the internet. I see a lot of people making connections with each other, and it makes me a little envious. I know if y'all knew me IRL I'd be able to make those same connections.

that is all. I'm done being a sappy susan now.

jacka02 · September 2012

IttyBittyBee:
Omg! I have an embarassing pic of me in hs posing gangsta-style infront of my Wu-tang poster in my bedroom. I of course was wearing my oversized Perry Ellis jacket and rocking the brown lipstick. Ahhhhhhhhh... Memoriiiiiiies.

Post itttt. You won't!

creamsiclechica · September 2012

IttyBittyBee:
creamsiclechica:
tiannalee:
IttyBittyBee:
This isn't flameworthy but another confession is that I know EVERY SINGLE word to Notorious BIG's Juicy and One More Chance. They are classics, just like Jane Eyre.
This made me fall in love with you.
+1! Tell me you Enter the 36 Chambers and I might stalk you obsessively.
Omg! I have an embarassing pic of me in hs posing gangsta-style infront of my Wu-tang poster in my bedroom. I of course was wearing my oversized Perry Ellis jacket and rocking the brown lipstick. Ahhhhhhhhh... Memoriiiiiiies.

creamsiclechica + ittybittybee = true love AAF

PIP this please, this is amazing! I need to find some of my I think I'm a gangsta pics too.

Tambcat · September 2012

MrsA71208:
I just read the entire 6 pages and all I have to say is ADUB I totally agree with you.

Will YOU name names?

Patella1129 · September 2012

Mine is that I really want to start working part-time. I don't want to go back to teaching right away, but I have been thinking about applying at Weight Watchers to be a receptionist (and maybe one day, a leader). They ONLY thing holding me back is that I don't want to have to pump. Pumping sucks--pun intended.

MrsA71208 · September 2012

Tambcat:
MrsA71208:
I just read the entire 6 pages and all I have to say is ADUB I totally agree with you.
Will YOU name names?

Sure will!

AmandaR.

To me it was sort of a given.

IttyBittyBee · September 2012

jacka02:
IttyBittyBee:
Omg! I have an embarassing pic of me in hs posing gangsta-style infront of my Wu-tang poster in my bedroom. I of course was wearing my oversized Perry Ellis jacket and rocking the brown lipstick. Ahhhhhhhhh... Memoriiiiiiies.

Post itttt. You won't!

If I can find it, I will. It might be in the attic.

jacka02 · September 2012

Even though i joined the knot back in 2007, the only board i have ever posted on is April 2012.

Except for baby names once, and 0-3 once.

I never knew forums could be so much fun.

adrianacastro08 · September 2012

I had a boob job when I was 24. I loved my more womanly body. But I fear that's probably why I have supply and bf issues now. It makes me feel crappy that I may have caused this. But perhaps it just wasn't meant to be. Who knows. Also, I'm pissed cuz I thought fake boobs weren't supposed to sag! Wah, I have orangutan titties!!!! I plan to have my boob job redone once I'm done having kids

IttyBittyBee · September 2012

MrsA71208:
Tambcat:

MrsA71208:
I just read the entire 6 pages and all I have to say is ADUB I totally agree with you.

Will YOU name names?

Sure will!

AmandaR.

To me it was sort of a given.

yikes. so biitchy.

Amanda, I think you are gorge, and LOVE seeing your pics! I say if you got it, rock it!

MrsA71208 · September 2012

IttyBittyBee:
MrsA71208:
Tambcat:

MrsA71208:
I just read the entire 6 pages and all I have to say is ADUB I totally agree with you.

Will YOU name names?

Sure will!

AmandaR.

To me it was sort of a given.

yikes. so biitchy.

Amanda, I think you are gorge, and LOVE seeing your pics! I say if you got it, rock it!

I wasn't trying to be bitchy. Everyone was throwing the name around so that's why I thought it was a given.

EmmieB1025 · September 2012

My FFFC: I posted a picture of DS, no one commented on it, I got a little butt-hurt, and DD'd.

ChelseyB5186 · September 2012

My FFFC is I'm not a fan of the not so nice "call-outs." Whether they're thinly-veiled, or flat out saying someone's name...I don't like them. I really feel like people (in general) on the board forget that just because you're on an internet forum, doesn't mean your comments might not possibly hurt someone's feelings. Sure, it's not all puppies and rainbows here, but do you *really* need to say that? I just don't understand the point other than to create drama. I'm sure I'll get a lot of flack on this, but eh, what can you do.

I've done one "call-out" before and it bit me in the butt. :coughtrollscough:

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