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April 2013 Moms
tinychefjackson
member
WWYD: Shower/sprinkle plans for second baby
tinychefjackson
member
I was raised in a very strict "one and done" circle, when it comes to showers. So, imagine my surprise when my coworkers (m/s and fatigue gave it away early) are saying things like, "I can't wait for your shower!" The first time, I quietly replied that I wouldn't be having one, but they insisted that I AM having a work shower and it's already in the works.
A few days later, DH's aunt asked when we will be coming home to visit next, as his family wants to plan a big sprinkle, as well.
I'm not involved in these sprinkles/showers AT ALL (I'm not even sure who is planning on hosting them or when they will be), but I feel gift-grabby by allowing them to even be planned. We have almost everything we would need saved from DD, except (possibly) clothes if we have a boy this time. I know how to graciously accept gifts and kind gestures, but the superfluous gift-giving makes me uncomfortable, especially since everyone was so generous with our first child.
Thoughts? I know it's early, but they've already been mentioned to me. I know I could donate extra items received, but that seems like being ungrateful for the generosity of family and friends.
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Re: WWYD: Shower/sprinkle plans for second baby
You could always decline or keep the guest list very small and only invite people very close to you that would probably be buying a gift anyways. Definitely don't register.
Some people like having/attending showers and buying little tiny baby things. I am one of them.
May Siggy Challenge: Parenting Fails
This is one of the most controversial topics on The Bump, and I usually steer clear of them! But I wanted to put my two cents in and say this despite my almost guaranteed flame...
If people want to celebrate your new baby, let them! Enjoy every minute. Take nothing for granted and enjoy a fun baby celebration with friends and family. If they offer, take them up on it and have a wonderful time. If people feel offended, they don't have to go, and they can just sit and stew over a celebration of new life while you enjoy it!
In my opinion, anyone who gets offended over celebrating second, third, and seventeenth babies need to put down their Miss Manners Book of Etiquette and start enjoying the blessings of life.
As someone who has experienced significant and multiple losses, I will never frown upon any baby celebration and will side eye anyone who does. You aren't throwing it for yourself, you are not asking for gifts, you are letting your loved ones do what all loved ones should want to do, celebrate your new baby.
Enjoy!!!
This would be a reasonable solution for almost anyone else, so thank you for the suggestion (I may suggest it to other friends who are expecting subsequent children). We cloth diaper and use cloth wipes, though. We have all of our diapering needs set aside from DD.
Make a pregnancy ticker
Most people only dream of angels. I held one in my arms.
WEBSITE:?Olivia Marie? BLOG:?Missing Our Angel Olivia?
All AL Welcome
This is a tough one, but here are my thoughts. I'll treat it as a true "what would you do."
I think that a shower/sprinkle for a second/third baby is only tacky if it is thrown by the pregnant lady or her mother. If my friends/co-workers were dead set on throwing me a party, even after I had declined once or twice, I would accept the offer. As PPs suggested, I would limit the guest list, if asked, and not register for anything.
If, and only IF, I was asked for input on the party or on the things I needed, I think I would comment that the hosts could suggest small gifts, or even donations in the baby's/my family's name. For example, I am particularly passionate about kiva.org, which is a microlending charity where regular individuals make loans in $25 increments to ppl in developing countries. Depending on the hosts, I might suggest that people could give loans to mothers in developing countries.
Obviously, this suggestion wouldn't work in every situation, and is much better suited for family/close friends than co-workers, but it is honestly what I would do.
As for donating extra items, I don't think it is ungrateful at all! You are obviously still appreciative of the thought, but don't need the item. I'm sure parents who are in need will be grateful for your thoughtfulness!
BFP #1: 08/17/2012 DD1 born 05/01/2013
BFP #2: 07/31/2015 M/C 09/23/2015 (11.5 weeks)
I've thought about this, and I know I would love to support "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep," which is an organization that gives parents of pregnancy or neonatal loss a free, tasteful, professional portrait session and print package of baby so they can be remembered beautifully. My little brother died at 24 weeks gestation, and the only memory my stepmother and father have of him is a polaroid where he is beet red and sloppily wrapped in hospital blankets.
Great idea! I've heard of that organization, and I think it sounds awesome. If asked, I don't see any harm in suggesting that.
BFP #1: 08/17/2012 DD1 born 05/01/2013
BFP #2: 07/31/2015 M/C 09/23/2015 (11.5 weeks)
I couldn't agree more -- people who love you WANT to celebrate with you, it isn't necessarily about needing anything or gifts or whatever, they just want to share in your excitement and happiness!