What age to start kindergarten?

RnMom2Be · August 2012

DH works in a school system. Kindergarten and first grade teachers that he knows strongly encourage parents to wait until their sons are 6 before starting kindergarten. This is because boys are no longer held back for another year of kindergarten (this was pretty common practice when I was a kid.)

Parents, however, will often send their boys at 5. Some of these boys then have problems in the first grade.

What is you plan? What is normal for where you live?

mrsseguin · August 2012

It's different in Canada, but DS will be starting junior kindergarten next week. He's 3.5 years old. He turns 4 in november. Then senior kindergarten, he'll be 4.5 turning 5, then 5.5 turning 6 for grade 1.

hmms · August 2012

I am a kindergarten teacher in WI, our cut-off is 5 by 9/1. When parents ask, I give advice on a kid-by-kid basis. Usually if a parent is asking, they have doubts themselves. We mostly look at maturity, not ability. Can he/she sit and look through an entire book? Is there even a tiny interest in coloring/cutting/doing a project?

That being said, my DS has a July birthday, he was born 4.5 weeks early, is in speech therapy (not a delay, articulation only) and I'll be holding him. Currently he attends a 3 half-day/week phonology preschool class (through our school district) and I know that both phonolgy preschool and 4K this year would be TOO much for him. So he'll attend 4K when he's 5 and K when he's 6.

Even as a K teacher in our district, I was strongly encourgaed to not wait, send him at 5. BUT I know him best and I also have the insider's view to know what's expected of him in Kindergarten. Unfortunately it's no longer 'just' learning to play w/ others, learning to cooperate, learning to be at school, learning the alphabet, learning to write your name, etc. It's learning to read, write, spell, etc. I think some the expectations are too high...but that's another issue

rsd12 · August 2012

Where we previously lived the cutoff was December 31st. I had planned to hold out my December 26th, he will be turning 5, son. He also has a speech delay. Academically he is ready, but socially he was not. I was also planning on holding out my September 20 son, he will be 3 in a month. But we were one of three states with a late cutoff. I am not worried about k or 1st... it is when they get older. But we moved and the cutoff is September 1st. Perfect for us! They will all be starting on time! I think it should be a family decision. Our previous school district also agreed with holding out our middle son too, which is very rare to get services when he should be starting k.

regenab · August 2012

I would make the decision on a case by case basis. My twin girls are July babies, they just started Pre-K and are the youngest in there class. They will be the youngest in Kindergarten class, but I am going to send them when they are 5. But this is mainly because they are girls and I feel they are ready. One of my very close friends had her son 3 months after my girls in early October. So he is going to be a year behind them in school and she has said this is the best thing. When she sees him and my girls interact you can really see a difference in maturity and development. He is by no means delayed, but he is just not as ready as they are for school. She said if he had been born in August, she would have been holding him back and is so happy he has 2 more years until starting Kindergarten. So in this example, for her, it would be best to hold her son if he had been born in the summer, before the cut off.

My DH is a July kid (birthday is 2 days after our girls) and he was never held back. He didn't even go to Kindergarten because they had moved to FL that summer and when his Mom went to register him the class was already full, there was no room for him. His Mom told the school that is fine, but he will be starting 1st grade the following year, she would not allow him to be redshirted and he was always one of the top students in his class.

Each kids is different and decisions should be made of that child, not a generalization of boys.

ridesbuttons · August 2012

Kids here start junior kindergarten the calendar year they turn 4. So, kids born after Labour Day start as young as age 3y9m.

Most kids therefore start grade one the calendar year they turn 6.

Redshirting is very uncommon here.

DS1 started JK at 4y3m old. DS2 will start JK at 4y8m.

gimmietimmies · August 2012

ridesbuttons:

Kids here start junior kindergarten the calendar year they turn 4. So, kids born after Labour Day start as young as age 3y9m.

Most kids therefore start grade one the calendar year they turn 6.

Redshirting is very uncommon here.

DS1 started JK at 4y3m old. DS2 will start JK at 4y8m.

Same, except we don't have jk here. If your ds was in our school system, he'd be asked to start grade one. Kindergarten here is 5 as of 2/28, with "young 5s" evaluated at the end of the school year. It's rare that anyone is held back. Redshirting is very uncommon here, there aren't any benefits to it - for the reasons I've seen it done (sports, etc. sports here are by birth year and they are on their own not through the school).

I'm only a fan of redshirting if there is a clear reason to do so. I'm not comfortable with a parent making that decision arbitrarily, without an evaluation of some sort to back them up. A family member has done this, the school wasn't comfortable, and her child is a good two years older than the other kids. It's awkward to say the least - academically she's where she should be (ahead for her grade, on par for her age), socially her friends are in the next grade and some up. Her reason for holding her back? She's not as tall as the kids her age (but she never will be). That is the one and only redshirter I know.

stdldb29 · August 2012

I am a teacher, DS's birthday is at the end of July, he will go when he is 5. I would be kicking myself if DS failed a grade after I held him back and he was 2 years older than his classmates. DS is going to all day pre-k to get ready for kinder.

neverblushed · August 2012

I would not make this decision just because my child is a boy.

However, my son's birthday is -- well, it's today, actually! -- 6 days before the cutoff for Kindergarten in our state. I had to decide with both of my kids whether to wait a year or not. Complicating matters was the fact that both of my kids could read well by age 5; they were both academically ready. DD was ready in other ways as well. However, it was pretty clear that at barely 5 years old my son wasn't quite ready for real school yet. Here's how I knew:

--still wasn't independent enough yet: didn't like to do stuff on his own.

--didn't always seem to "get" what he was supposed to do in activities in preschool and needed a lot of teacher attention.

--I didn't think he was ready to find his way to the right bus in a hurry every day. I also wasn't sure he could find his way around the school.

--he just seemed younger, less mature, and less confident than the other kids in his preschool class.

If my child was only 5 but seemed "with it" enough to hang with kids 6 months to a year older, and independent enough to manage kindergarten, I would not hold that child in preschool for another year "just because."

smerka · August 2012

This is my first post on this board, but I've got a doozy of situation at my house. My oldest was born Sept. 22 and his younger brother was born September 1 of the next year. They are 344 days apart. Our school district's cutoff date is Sept. 1, so technically they are in the same grade. My older son has a speech delay for which we are getting therapy through EI. My original hope had been to send the older one early and the younger one on time, but now with the speech delay, I'm more afraid they are going to be in the same class. In the end, we'll see how they are when the time comes and take the recommendations of the experts.

Court0026 · August 2012

1/2 of my job before I went on leave was as a kindergarten consultant. I worked with 5 different k classrooms. And I sat in on 1/2 of the academic intervention team meetings. The young boys were usually the most talked about! However, I believe it is a kid-by-kid decision. My son has been academically ahead of the game for awhile now. Unless something crazy happens with his maturity (or something crazy happens with his food allergies), we are sending him to K at 4 (turning 5 at the end of Oct).

Temp6313048411121614 · August 2012

DS1 will turn 6 3-4 weeks after school starts.

jnksmom · August 2012

I really think it depends on the child and their abilities as well as maturity. DS just started Kindergarten this week and he is 5y4m. We feel like he is ready and his preschool teachers felt like he was ready as well.
We just moved to this town but from talking to a few people and the teachers at open house redshirting is not that common unless the child's birthday is very close to the cutoff date which is Sept 30.
DD's birthday is Sept 26 and we are waiting to see how she does in prek before we make a decision. I think she will be ready but we have not made a definite decision yet.

chloephoebecali · August 2012

I will be sending them according to what our district requests unless something changes. DD will be starting at 4 years. DS will be starting at 5. They each will have two years of pre-k. Our district's cutoff is October 31st.

Littlejen22 · August 2012

The idea that kids are being pushed to be held back actually pisses me off because the parents of the kids that send the kids, oh because the district cut off dates should be the cut off date, wind up with kids that just turned 5 in with kids that might be 6 1/2 which is insane to me. I find it lazy teaching to give a blanket statement that you have a son so wait a year.

To me, go by your kid. But people have to be careful because if there is a problem then you lose a year of help the child could have gotten, hard to tell immaturity versus real issue.

And my school district holds kids back, if it is a maturity issue they will also do a transitional 1st grade.

brightning · August 2012

My DD just started kindergarten at age 5 (May birthday) and I was surprised at how many 6 and 6.5 year olds there are in her class! Boys and girls, too.

PhilsWife07 · August 2012

Our oldest is on a three-year preschool plan and will start kindergarten right before his 6th birthday (9/4 bday; 9/30 cut off for school). We came to this decision under the advisement of his preschool teachers to have him repeat preschool this year and move on to pre-k next year and have received nothing but good comments about our decision from people we've come across in the education field. I feel confident in our decision to give him an extra year to mature before kindergarten.

Echowysp · August 2012

Our state just changed the cutoff date from Dec. 1st to Sep. 1st , but will do it gradually... so next school year (not the one that starts next month), will be Nov. 1st, the following year Oct. 1 and then September 1.

My ds is a late Oct. baby, so he will be eligible for kindergarten as a 4 year old. Barring any sudden behavioral issues, he'll be going. I think if we are worried about it, he can attend an Early 5s program, but based on what his preschool teachers are saying, he will be fine in regular class. He's smart and well-behaved at school (now home is another story).

My dd will miss the cutoff by 8 days, so even though they are only 2 years apart, they will be 4 grades apart when she starts school.

Echowysp · August 2012

Our state just changed the cutoff date from Dec. 1st to Sep. 1st , but will do it gradually... so next school year (not the one that starts next month), will be Nov. 1st, the following year Oct. 1 and then September 1.

My ds is a late Oct. baby, so he will be eligible for kindergarten as a 4 year old. Barring any sudden behavioral issues, he'll be going. I think if we are worried about it, he can attend an Early 5s program, but based on what his preschool teachers are saying, he will be fine in regular class. He's smart and well-behaved at school (now home is another story).

My dd will miss the cutoff by 8 days, so even though they are only 2 years apart, they will be 3 grades apart when she starts school.

penguingrrl · August 2012

I don't have a son, but my daughter will be 5 years and about 1 week when she starts K. I have absolutely no doubt she's ready and I see no reason to hold her back. In fact, I think waiting a year would be detrimental for her. I'm not in love with the redshirting trend because in many ways it punishes lower income families (can't afford another year of daycare or SAHP, but now they're being pushed because everyone else is doing it and their kid seems immature when they really aren't, they're average). I have yet to meet a boy who turned 5 after April of this year who is starting K and I think it's absurd. Yes, there are a few who truly aren't ready, but most I get the sense aren't going because their parents are following the crowd and everyone else is holding back.

I love that in NYC you can't redshirt. If you register a kid whose birthday leaves them eligible for 1st grade in K they are automatically bumped to 1st and miss K since it's not compulsory. And the cutoff there is late, like Dec 31. So many 4.5 year olds are in K there.

NerdyMama2 · August 2012

DS is starting when he's 5.

macchiatto · August 2012

When I was in Kindergarten, all but one of the kids in my class were 5 when the school year started (though the oldest turned 6 a few weeks later) and the one exception was 4 and turned 5 a week or so after the school year started. My boys have January birthdays so it's easy; they'll be 5.5 when they start K. But as a general rule, I'd go by the school system's cutoff unless there are extenuating circumstances; I'd want my kids to start when they are 5 if possible, whether they are young 5's or older 5's. The cutoff here is in Sept, though I forget if it's the 1st or 30th.

AgrippaRidesAgain · August 2012

Despite a late April birthday, DS is rather socially immature, so we're going to go with whatever his preschool teacher recommends to us come registration time in March. She's a former kindergarten teacher, so she has a good idea of what's expected.

DD will be almost 6 when she starts.

I actually know more than a few people that are sending their kids to private kindergarten and then testing in to first grade b/c their kids just miss the cutoff and are ready to start school. So, that's interesting, considering the redshirting trend.

jlw2505 · August 2012

In my district (and stat law), you need to be 5 by Sept 1 to start kindergarten. People do hold kids back, most often you see it with kids who have the very late spring or summer birthdays but in my district you can also test your kids to start early if they have a Sept birthday and I know a few people that have done that. I disagree 100% if someone holds their child back just because they are small or for a sports related reason but I agree 100% that some kids are just not ready even if they meet the deadline for social or behavioral reasons and the social side of thing is huge. I disagree that this is related to just boys and that girls are fine to start but boys are not. Being ready has nothing to do with your sex. My DD was held back (June b-day) and repeated her amazing PreK program and will start kindergarten next week. Yes, she is one of the older kids in her class now vs one of the younger but not the oldest. She has a speech delay and ADHD and there is no way she would have done well in kindergarten last year - she has grown in a trillion ways in the last year. Another boy from her PreK class was also held back and he has also changed and grown so much. Socially he was just not where he needed to be. Even if a child is academically ready to start kindergarten on time, some just are not there socially. My district will hold kids back in any grade if needed - if they are not able to keep up. We also have an amazing challenge (gifted) and special ed programs so kids can really get a great education in my district regardless of any special needs or not. I think this is all personal and based on each child and you can't just make a blanket statement on this. My younger DD is 4 1/2, started a PreK program next week and is academically ahead of her peers right now but socially right on track. She will be 5 1/2 when she starts kindy which I think is the perfect age for her. She will learn a ton on the social side this year and also on how to function in a classroom. Both of my kids were in daycare as infants and then did the center based perschool program but it is nothing compared to the PreK program in regards to kindergarten readiness.

jlw2505 · August 2012

penguingrrl:
I love that in NYC you can't redshirt. If you register a kid whose birthday leaves them eligible for 1st grade in K they are automatically bumped to 1st and miss K since it's not compulsory. And the cutoff there is late, like Dec 31. So many 4.5 year olds are in K there.

I have a huge issue with this rule - there are kids who truly are not ready to start school on time and not having that option is punishing the kids. My DD who is going to struggle in school always was held back and she will still struggle. The extra year of prek that she got helped her get more confident and get closer to being where she should be when starting school. Sounds to me that without some sort of testing or exceptions to the rule, the schools are setting up a lot of kids to struggle where if they were given an extra year, they might do totally fine. NO parent that has held their child back for good reason has regretted it but I have talked to a lot of parents who considered holding their kids back but didn't that do have regrets.

I think there does need to be more in place than just mom and dad making a decision to hold back, some sort of readiness testing but being academically ready vs socially ready are 2 very different things and both are very important and not really sure how to test for all of that.

auburnbride2be · August 2012

DD will be 5 when she starts Kindergarten. She has a July bday, so she will be on the young side. I was always one of the youngest in my class too because my bday is in June.

KL777 · August 2012

I say whatever the state law is. It's typically age 5 by 9/30. DS will be 5 years and 7 months old when he starts (school starts in August)

stever · August 2012

fredalina:
I am not a fan of redshirting just because a kid is a boy. The idea of holding ALL boys back arbitrarily is repellent to me. I do understand why someone may choose to hold back a child, boy or girl, with a very late birthday who has some maturity issues. But that's it. I think there are some major socioeconomic negatives to the practice as a whole. Poor families can't afford another year of daycare and/or mom staying home, so they send their kids ASAP. More affluent and middle class families sometimes redshirt, and the practice is becoming so common in some places that there's a major disparity between schools. Either the affluent schools become more advanced and teach harder, more first grade like, material in K or they match curricula but the poor students perform even worse, and there's always a disparity there. Now my girl, who has a summer birthday, is bright and emotionally mature, may end up in school with kids close to 2 years older. I won't redshirt her just to redshirt her because at 3 she can do all the "kindergarten readiness" skills except write her name. So holding her back would be crazy but I don't love the idea of her being the smallest kid in school by a whole year.

All of this. Both my boys are summer babies and I don't plan to red shirt unless there are issues.

As it is, DS1 is super bright - and big - so I can't imagine him waiting an extra year to start kindergarten.

eta - He's also a very social kid.

Jinsy80 · August 2012

It's normal to send your kids to kindergarten on time here. Our cut-off date is 12/1. DD1 is starting kindergarten at 5. DD2 might start kindergarten at 4 (she has delays though, so she might be 5 turning 6 during the school year).

ryry1977 · August 2012

DS has a Sept 13th birthday, so I wont start him in K until he is 5, just turning 6. Since he is right on that boarder I am keeping him back.

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