Did you do it in the "right" order?

frasey · August 2012

I was just thinking... The Knot, The Nest, The Bump... I guess most people do things in that order. Ya know, get married, then buy a house, and then have a baby. Did you do it in that order?

Hehe I sure didn't. I bought my house before DH and I were together. Then he moved in, then we got engaged, got pg, got married, and then had DD. Not the usual course of events!

mkarns · August 2012

I really think its beneficial for a couple to live together before they make the decision to get married don't tell my Dad I said that. My H owned a house when we started dating and I rented a house. I slept over at his place every night for about 3 months before we got engaged. After the engagement, I officially moved in. Our engagement was a year and 4 months long so we had a lot of "practice". I'm glad.
Then we conceived 5 months after our marriage.
ETA: that makes it sound like we only dated 3 months before getting engaged. It was a year...but I started sleeping overnight consistently about 9 months into it.

n8swife · August 2012

We bought a house together after we were engaged but before we were married and conceived almost 2 months after our wedding. I stopped taking my birth control on the day after our wedding.

MeganSony · August 2012

We bought our house first and lived with my parents while waiting for it to close. We were pretty young when we got together though. Then two years after living together we got engaged in January. Found out I was pregnant in June and got married in September. Then Gabe came along. Our order was 'just right' for us.

MrMrsandBaby · August 2012

Sort of...we lived together first because I was still in school and didn't want to live on campus anymore. Then we got engaged, married, a dog, then pg! We were married 7 years before getting pregnant though - it was important to us to have a really solid and steady marriage before having children...the first year was rough and I can't imagine adding a baby to it. Although I didn't really want to wait seven years, but that is what happened!

Vii Lii · August 2012

We dated, lived together, got engaged, got married, bought a house, had little G. All while attending and completing school and grad school. Busy!

tmjmeister · August 2012

We definitely did not do things in order. We moved in together, had Mimi, got engaged, got married, had LJ, and we STILL are not sure if we will buy a home anytime in the near future. I've never been one to do things in the "right order."

ClaireBear90 · August 2012

Sort of. My husband had a house prior to our marriage, but I didn't move in until after the honeymoon. I've found that (in my little sphere anyway) buying a house/living together after marriage is uncommon. So I felt like the "unusual" one.

songstress503 · August 2012

We dated for 4 years, were engaged for almost 3, got married, and concieved just before our 3rd anniversary. We still don't own a house, but we moved into our apartment when were got married. Had we done it in any other order it might have been creepy as we started dating when I was 14 and got engaged when I was 19.

88eve88 · August 2012

DH and I dated 12 years before getting married ... so we lived together through university, then in a different country (we went to Japan to teach English for a year), and then he moved into my parents' basement when we came home. We finally pooled our resources and bought a condo, and then a year later, got engaged. About a year after we got married, we sold the condo and bought our first house.. Two years after that, we had Logan. So ... almost the "right " order, but not quite. However, dating 12 years basically means you're married anyway!

lancyjo · August 2012

Yup, we did.

Dated, got engaged, got married, I moved in to the house we'd bought together 4 months before, he moved in as soon as we closed on it, 3 years later we had Aria. :

jju_stb_jju · August 2012

We did! We met in '05 and dated for 2 years before getting engaged. A year later were married, and it wasnt till we were married that I moved in with him to our own house, technically he was already living in the house I inherited since the month before we got married, and I had most of my furniture and some clothes here already but I didn't move in till after marriage. We waited 3 years to start ttc though cause we wanted time together and to be on our own. Found out we were expecting 3 months before our 3rd wedding anniversary.
ETA my Dad was one of those dads that wants their daughter living with them till marriage, no if's, and's, or's, or but's about it! But it worked perfect for us!

Peglet · August 2012

DH bought a house soon after we started dating. I officially moved in about 9 months after we started dating, we got engaged a year later, married a year after that and had DD after 1.5 years of marriage. It was the right order for us!

ssimon621 · August 2012

We moved in together 1 1/2 after we started dating, got engaged 9 months later, got married 1 1/2 after that and had DD 5 months after our 3 year anniversary. We were in the process of purchasing a house during our engagement but it was all too much going on so we are now in the process of purchasing a house now. So we almost did it in the right order, but I could never imagine getting married before living with DH, it just seems to put too much pressure on a marriage in its' early years.

MrsGlaedr · August 2012

well, FI had already owned his house, we met, fell in love, got pg, moved in together, had the baby, and are now engaged! lol so.... nope. nothing was in order.

noryang · August 2012

Almost. We dated seven months before we got engaged (we were older and I think things tend to move faster with some experience behind you). We were married eights months after that. Then I moved into his apt in NYC. We got pregnant after four years of marriage. No home yet. It would be silly to buy. We have moved five times in five years. We will buy when we retire from the Foreign Servce and aren't moving all of the time. Because of DHs military service, he could retire in only 9 years.

bikitybinx · August 2012

We closed on the house 4 months before we were married. We started dating April 2009, got engaged in October, closed on the house in May 2010, Married August 2010 - baby Feb 2012. It's been a busy 3 years for us!

I didn't even bother with the Nest. I used the Knot to find a few vendors for our wedding, but didn't really frequent these sites until I got pregnant.

ETA: Whoops - married September 2010. Don't tell DH I said that ;-)

songstress503 · August 2012

jju_stb_jju:
We did! We met in '05 and dated for 2 years before getting engaged. A year later were married, and it wasnt till we were married that I moved in with him to our own house, technically he was already living in the house I inherited since the month before we got married, and I had most of my furniture and some clothes here already but I didn't move in till after marriage. We waited 3 years to start ttc though cause we wanted time together and to be on our own. Found out we were expecting 3 months before our 3rd wedding anniversary. ETA my Dad was one of those dads that wants their daughter living with them till marriage, no if's, and's, or's, or but's about it! But it worked perfect for us!

Pretty sure my Dad would have prefered we just moved in together instead of getting married young. He so doesn't get it.

cheese.fiend · August 2012

We lived in a house we leased together before we got married, bought a house after a year and a half of marriage, and conceived L after 2.5 years of marriage.

Mrs Nice · August 2012

Yup. We did. We started dating in high school and dated for 8 years before we got engaged. We were engaged for a year before we got married. I moved from my parents place when we got married to his parents place for three months before we bought our house. I probably would have moved in with him sooner tho if we had found a house sooner. We were looking for awhile. Three years later we had Ian. We have now been married four years and have Zachary.

HappyToBe2012 · August 2012

Somewhat. DH had the house already when we started dating. Dated for 2 1/2 years, engaged for almost a year, and married for a little over two years before we got pregnant. I started spending the nights (and later weekends) after we had been together for about 5 months, and moved in about two months after getting engaged. After DD came along, we sold the house and lived with MIL for three months before closing on a new one.

pinkshades05 · August 2012

DH and I started dating when we were in high school and all through college. We never lived with each other; both of us were still living with our parents when we got engaged (@ 4.5years) and married (@6years). We bought our condo after 1.5 years and then found out about Natalie around our second anniversary. We kind of did it in the "right" order, but we bought a condo and not a house...real estate is expensive out here.

I don't think the "right" way is very common anymore, though.

jju_stb_jju · August 2012

songstress503:
jju_stb_jju:
We did! We met in '05 and dated for 2 years before getting engaged. A year later were married, and it wasnt till we were married that I moved in with him to our own house, technically he was already living in the house I inherited since the month before we got married, and I had most of my furniture and some clothes here already but I didn't move in till after marriage. We waited 3 years to start ttc though cause we wanted time together and to be on our own. Found out we were expecting 3 months before our 3rd wedding anniversary. ETA my Dad was one of those dads that wants their daughter living with them till marriage, no if's, and's, or's, or but's about it! But it worked perfect for us!
Pretty sure my Dad would have prefered we just moved in together instead of getting married young. He so doesn't get it.

yeah my parents were kinda strict though so I always knew growing up that I had to be married to move in with a guy! Lol! But it was never an issue with us.

laura.noel · August 2012

Almost. We started dating at the end of high school, got engaged right before our senior year of college, moved into an apartment together when we graduated, and got married that fall. We bought our house five years later, and got pregnant two years after that. We will have been married for eight years this fall, and have been together for 12.

mle5d · August 2012

Pretty much. My family is traditional, and DH's family is Catholic. We met, dated for almost 3 years before getting engaged. Got married 8 months later, then I moved into the townhouse he already had. We bought a house house the following summer, and got pg right before our 2nd anniversary. We were married 3 years this month.

sparks2987 · August 2012

We moved in together right out of HS, got married a month later, lived in an apartment, bought a house 2 years later, sold that house after I graduated from college, moved back home and now we are renting and looking to buy another house, we were married 7 years when Emily arrived.

Karley0212 · August 2012

Maybe I am the only one but I am not marries. We planned on getting engaged when we graduate but Alexander came first. Now I get to plan my wedding without being engaged but it will happen one day

fredpuma · August 2012

I have to say... The only thing I can see on the mobile site is "did you do it in..." And my brain filled in "the butt." I'm a pervert.

jju_stb_jju · August 2012

fredpuma:
I have to say... The only thing I can see on the mobile site is "did you do it in..." And my brain filled in "the butt." I'm a pervert.

Lmfao I'm so glad I want the only one who thought this!! I was like oooooo juicy post!!!!!!! Lol!!!!!

MrsLindinger0905 · August 2012

DH and I were dating for 10 months before we got engaged. We had our own apartments but we rarely stayed the night apart from each other. We got an apartment together about a month after we got engaged. We found a house we wanted to buy about 3 months before the wedding, but it was in foreclosure so the process took FOREVER! We didn't move into it until about a month after the wedding. We were married for almost 2 years before BFP!

jldubb0626 · August 2012

DH and I started living together my freshman year of college, got engaged 3 years later. Got married in June 2010 and then got pregnant with Eli before we bought our house last November, 2 months before Eli showed up.

k.linn · August 2012

Yep, another traditional girl here. Met dh in high school, dated for 5 years, got engaged, bought a house but dh lived in it solo until we got married and then I moved in. First baby 3 years later, another 2 years after that.

Mistifier · August 2012

We did it in order. Started dating in 2008, engaged January 2010, married October 2010, and our little man showed up February 29th 2012!

karleegirl · August 2012

We dated a year. Got pregnant with ds2., moved in together in a house I bought. He paid bills too but I wasn't putting both our names on a mortgage if we went married. Then we got engaged while I was about 5 months pregnant. We didn't marry till ds2 was 3. He thinks all kids get to go to their parents weddings.
I wouldn't recommend our order of doing things.but it is what it is.

Lawren · August 2012

DH and I got engaged and then built our house. We closed on it two days before our wedding and we actually spent our wedding night in our new house. We never lived together until we got married. We've been married for 5 years.

btartaroind · August 2012

Dated: May '08-Oct '09

Engaged: Oct '09-Oct '10-moved in together after wedding on 10/2/10

Got pregnant: June '11

Closed on house: Dec '11

Had DS: Feb '12

Pretty much in order and wouldn't change a thing!

poobear2015 · August 2012

I think we essentially wanted to do it in that order - but didn't do it perfectly.

We got engaged after 6 years, but we had already been living together for a few months. I don't know if I count it though - since we had a roommate. We got pregnant in May of '11 and married in June '11. We didn't know we were pregnant until on our honeymoon a week after our wedding. We tell older family members that it's the other way around so they don't feel uncomfortable. We moved into our new apartment WITHOUT a roommate in July '11 and now we have DD as a roommate (who is terrible at paying her share of the rent lol). We will be moving in to our new house in the summer of '14 (hopefully with 2 kids in tow).

ryry1977 · August 2012

When we met DH already had a house. We got engaged and I moved in with him. Then married and soon after kids

So no, not the 'right' order, but that was just moving in before we were married.

footnotegirl · August 2012

Mostly in the 'right' order. Met, dated, got engaged, moved in to the house he owned (a week before the wedding), got married, bought a house together, got pregnant (10 years after getting married).

So we get things done, we just procrastinate like nobody's business.

KatelynEA90 · August 2012

Nope.

We got pregnant, had DD, and then got married. DH is currently in school in a state that we don't plan on staying in so we don't own a house yet.

Not that it matters much but we were going to get married shortly after finding out we were pregnant. DH's family said they wouldn't attend if we didn't do it their way so we didn't do it at all. After DD was born, they stopped being such asses about us getting married. Well, they just realized they weren't going to be involved that way.

redheadscu · August 2012

Nope.

We still haven't bought a house (actually, we just walked from a house a week ago, when the home inspection went bad. Crying )

We lived together for a year before getting marreid, then started TTC after 1 1/2 years of marriage.

This is all actually after I was married & divorced by the time I was 23, before meeting my husband in law school. So......I guess we're just all kinds of messed up round theses parts.

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