Venting..need some opinions

MonicaClaire13 · August 2012

danieliza1127:
When she complains how little she sees him, I would remind her that she told me that she doesn't do babies and didn't want to babysit. I would tell her that based on what she said, I assumed she didn't want to keep him while I ran errands or see him that often. Put the ball back in her court and let her respond to that.

Yes. Do this.

My MIL is constantly complaining about not seeing my nephew but whenever my BIL (her oldest son) brings him over she hogs him the whole time no matter who else is there to see him or visiting, and then in the middle of hogging him, looks at my BIL who will be eating or watching football or something and says, "I can't watch him today", or "I can't keep him for long I have things to do."

Like he was asking her to. When all he did was bring his son over to see his family and relax.. He pretty much never asks her to babysit, he loves being with his son and only drops him off when he really needs to or he and my SIL are going out together to have couple time.

Even if you did let your MIL babysit, I would be wary of doing so. Because she sounds like she'd be like my MIL, all happy and helpful up front but complaining about having to do it behind your back or to you later on.

It's for this reason my MIL, will not see my daughter too much without either my FI or I there

MonicaClaire13 · August 2012

JNicole33:
morethancottoncandy:
JNicole33:
mabenner1:
There's a difference between seeing the baby and babysitting him. Take him for a visit, and just hang out over there. I don't understand your confusion.
There's no confusion. My point is that if she isn't going to be an active member in his life (living 5 minutes away) then she is not entitled to ANY time with him. She hasn't earned it, obviously isn't too pressed about it if she won't even watch him for an hour and at this point for me to take time out to nice and bring him for visits is far more courteous than what she's shown me. I can't stand the sight of her at this point and I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit there(spending my time) and have her pull the "ahh...my baby" bullshit.She's a disgrace of a grandmother to openly take in and care for all these foster kids and has done literally NOTHING for her only biological grandchild. I mean, who does that????
Think I will go with the advice given "call him on his 10th birthday since you don't "do" babies. "
This right here makes you sound completely selfish and childish. You are actually complaining about her taking in children who need help and have families that are unable to care for them. Are you f'ucking kidding me?
NO. Not *** kidding you when she collects kids to collect checks. Takes care of other grand kids because SIL is a complete ghetto ** up but my LO get nothing. I don't think that to be childish at all. She has no rights to see my son if she can't show/display she gives a *** about him!
so, are you *** kidding me????

She's your MIL, and in the end no one really knows her but you and your H. My grandmother is.. complicated. I love her, and I did as a child, but when my family lived in VA and would come to visit her across the country in CA she was a greatly attentive grandma. When my family moved out here, DOWN THE STREET FROM HER, she was attentive at first but then, she just wasn't interested in us anymore. I guess we weren't as exciting anymore. That was when I was 8, and the oldest of three, my brother being only 4 when she decided she didn't want to watch us ever for my mom or anything. And my mom worked from home with three little kids running around, my grandma's never worked.

So if she's already neglecting him now and not willing to do things, imagine how it will hurt him when he can understand it

I think you're doing the right things as a mother, if she wants to see him, she can come to you and make an effort, at least at first to show you she really does care enough to be there for him for more than an hour.

My MIL, as annoying as she is and as whiny as she can be, would do anything for her grandchildren. So, while I don't want to really take her up on babysitting offers or anything that inconveniences her because I know how she can be, of course I'll bring my daughter over. All the time. Just as long as I'm there, she can't complain that I'm leaving her with the baby, I'm not her kid

MonicaClaire13 · August 2012

shotzie:
Holy crap, I made it through all 6 pages.

I'm in awe, I didn't have the energy for all that

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