Should I throw my own shower?

graciesmurf · August 2012

If you are new to the area and don't know anyone who would you invite??

I know it's a hassle, but if I were you I'd accept the offer from mom and have one in MA. You can return stuff before you head home and then use the store credit to purchase it when you're closer to home. Hope that helps.

SabreenaEastman · August 2012

morethancottoncandy:
SabreenaEastman:
Personally, I'm pretty much co-hosting my own shower with my mom that started out as me hosting my own because I had multiple people ask me when the shower was where I was registered, and a few people to "help with the shower" Here you is where you say, I haven't heard anything about a shower. If someone offers to host one, I'll them know you would like to help, etc. It's not a reason to start planning it your self. ... my Mom thankfully stepped in and is helping me for the majority of it. That's probably because your mother is aware of how rude it is to throw your own shower and she doesn't want you to look like an entitled twit. No biggy either way. Do what is best for you, but try and see if there is a way to take your mom up on the offer, too. Luckily I know for me it isnt a big deal who hosts what because anytime in my family that we have a "baby shower" its never expected or required about the gifts, A baby shower is a gift giving event. It's basically the sole purpose, to shower the MTB with gifts. If it's not about gifts then it's not a shower and there should be no mention of a registry. and its all about celebrating with the mom; we use them as an excuse to have family get togethers since we don't see the eachother often and its a big change that we all want to be able to celebrate. If all you want is a family get together, why not do a meet the baby party when the baby is actually here to be celebrated?

Honestly its a bit different in my family the way that we handle things than apparently yours. At this point everyone I know, including myself is in the midst of college or some other financial hardship and down on money so I would not expect anyone to throw me one, but everyone /expects/ me to have one, including my family. Since I have the means to do it and I already know everyone wants to come but cant personally throw it, why /wouldnt/ I plan it? My mother didnt "volunteer" because she thinks i'm rude or that ill look like an entitled twit, no one in my family or friends would honestly care or judge our own like that, she did it because she loves to help me plan things regardless of what I'm doing, always has, especially with anything dealing with parties, families, or babies. And as for when the child is here, because it would be at least a year for me to feel comfortable to invite that many people to be around and handle my child at that time. As I said. This is simply how its done in my family, I never said its right for everyone, nor did I say it was right for the poster. I was letting her know my experience and that she should do whatever is right for her and how her family and friends personally deal with things.

SabreenaEastman · August 2012

MelRC117:
But one of OP's main gripes were having to get all the gifts that were given to here shipped back and she doesn't want to drive. So yes...showers are about gifts. If not, then just have a get together with friends. GASP. It isn't called a baby shower then.

Youre right! I forgot that was one of the main reasons. If thats the only reason, then I'd just go up there, OP, and see if you could have them shipped ahead of time if its too much of a hassle. Or someone had the idea of returning them and using the gift cards where you live (not my favorite idea, but, if it works it works). But again, do whatever is best for you and what you can do with the situation.

Liz4444 · August 2012

One word for you... Snookie.

morethancottoncandy · August 2012

Liz4444:
One word for you... Snookie.

FTW.

MelissaRae1525 · August 2012

SabreenaEastman:
morethancottoncandy:
SabreenaEastman:
Personally, I'm pretty much co-hosting my own shower with my mom that started out as me hosting my own because I had multiple people ask me when the shower was where I was registered, and a few people to "help with the shower" Here you is where you say, I haven't heard anything about a shower. If someone offers to host one, I'll them know you would like to help, etc. It's not a reason to start planning it your self. ... my Mom thankfully stepped in and is helping me for the majority of it. That's probably because your mother is aware of how rude it is to throw your own shower and she doesn't want you to look like an entitled twit. No biggy either way. Do what is best for you, but try and see if there is a way to take your mom up on the offer, too. Luckily I know for me it isnt a big deal who hosts what because anytime in my family that we have a "baby shower" its never expected or required about the gifts, A baby shower is a gift giving event. It's basically the sole purpose, to shower the MTB with gifts. If it's not about gifts then it's not a shower and there should be no mention of a registry. and its all about celebrating with the mom; we use them as an excuse to have family get togethers since we don't see the eachother often and its a big change that we all want to be able to celebrate. If all you want is a family get together, why not do a meet the baby party when the baby is actually here to be celebrated?
Honestly its a bit different in my family the way that we handle things than apparently yours. At this point everyone I know, including myself is in the midst of college or some other financial hardship and down on money so I would not expect anyone to throw me one, but everyone /expects/ me to have one, including my family. Since I have the means to do it and I already know everyone wants to come but cant personally throw it, why /wouldnt/ I plan it? My mother didnt "volunteer" because she thinks i'm rude or that ill look like an entitled twit, no one in my family or friends would honestly care or judge our own like that, she did it because she loves to help me plan things regardless of what I'm doing, always has, especially with anything dealing with parties, families, or babies. And as for when the child is here, because it would be at least a year for me to feel comfortable to invite that many people to be around and handle my child at that time. As I said. This is simply how its done in my family, I never said its right for everyone, nor did I say it was right for the poster. I was letting her know my experience and that she should do whatever is right for her and how her family and friends personally deal with things.

So if no one has money to throw you a shower (which doesn't have to be super expensive) I hope you aren't expecting any gifts.

SabreenaEastman · August 2012

Youre right, and I don't. Like I said, I was using this how everyone else in my family uses celebratory instances (especially new babies) in their life as a get together with family that I don't get to see often.

morethancottoncandy · August 2012

SabreenaEastman:
morethancottoncandy:
SabreenaEastman:
Personally, I'm pretty much co-hosting my own shower with my mom that started out as me hosting my own because I had multiple people ask me when the shower was where I was registered, and a few people to "help with the shower" Here you is where you say, I haven't heard anything about a shower. If someone offers to host one, I'll them know you would like to help, etc. It's not a reason to start planning it your self. ... my Mom thankfully stepped in and is helping me for the majority of it. That's probably because your mother is aware of how rude it is to throw your own shower and she doesn't want you to look like an entitled twit. No biggy either way. Do what is best for you, but try and see if there is a way to take your mom up on the offer, too. Luckily I know for me it isnt a big deal who hosts what because anytime in my family that we have a "baby shower" its never expected or required about the gifts, A baby shower is a gift giving event. It's basically the sole purpose, to shower the MTB with gifts. If it's not about gifts then it's not a shower and there should be no mention of a registry. and its all about celebrating with the mom; we use them as an excuse to have family get togethers since we don't see the eachother often and its a big change that we all want to be able to celebrate. If all you want is a family get together, why not do a meet the baby party when the baby is actually here to be celebrated?
Honestly its a bit different in my family the way that we handle things than apparently yours. At this point everyone I know, including myself is in the midst of college or some other financial hardship and down on money so I would not expect anyone to throw me one, but everyone /expects/ me to have one, including my family. Since I have the means to do it and I already know everyone wants to come but cant personally throw it, why /wouldnt/ I plan it? My mother didnt "volunteer" because she thinks i'm rude or that ill look like an entitled twit, no one in my family or friends would honestly care or judge our own like that, she did it because she loves to help me plan things regardless of what I'm doing, always has, especially with anything dealing with parties, families, or babies. And as for when the child is here, because it would be at least a year for me to feel comfortable to invite that many people to be around and handle my child at that time. As I said. This is simply how its done in my family, I never said its right for everyone, nor did I say it was right for the poster. I was letting her know my experience and that she should do whatever is right for her and how her family and friends personally deal with things.

It's a pretty widely accepted rule that you don't throw a shower for yourself, as you can see by the responses here (so not just my family or circle of friends) most people who have manners know this. If the reason no one has offered a shower is a financial one, why would you add to their burden by throwing a party whey they are supposed to bring a gift? If you say its not about gifts then technically it's not a shower. A shower is a gift giving event. It's purpose is to shower the MTB with things to get her ready for baby. Otherwise what you have is a baby-centric party celebrating the fact that you are pregnant, which honestly, is just weird.

Liz4444 · August 2012

morethancottoncandy:
Liz4444:
One word for you... Snookie.
FTW. 

I have to give melle the credit!

sara052420 · August 2012

This is why I don't like parties! Too much fuss about the correct and proper way to do things. Way too much pressure!

Personally, If someone got THAT mad at me for wanting to throw my own shower, I wouldn't want them to come anyway! Life's too short to get mad over things like that.. IMO Yes

MelissaRae1525 · August 2012

SabreenaEastman:
Youre right, and I don't. Like I said, I was using this how everyone else in my family uses celebratory instances (especially new babies) in their life as a get together with family that I don't get to see often.

Okay, clearly YOUR FAMILY knows that showers are, in fact. about gifts, and that's why they asked you about a registry.

Can people PLEASE stop saying showers aren't about gifts now?

SabreenaEastman · August 2012

morethancottoncandy:
It's a pretty widely accepted rule that you don't throw a shower for yourself, as you can see by the responses here (so not just my family or circle of friends) most people who have manners know this. If the reason no one has offered a shower is a financial one, why would you add to their burden by throwing a party whey they are supposed to bring a gift? If you say its not about gifts then technically it's not a shower. A shower is a gift giving event. It's purpose is to shower the MTB with things to get her ready for baby. Otherwise what you have is a baby-centric party celebrating the fact that you are pregnant, which honestly, is just weird.

I wasnt saying it was /just/ different for you. I do see that it is different than what my family does for a lot of people. Its was pinpointed at you simply because I was responding to you. And as I said, its simply what is done with my family, regardless if you agree with it or not, most all females in my family do this because it gives us a reason to get together and celebrate. We call it a shower, regardless if you think it should be something different. It simply evolved for us, into whatever it is now, whether others find it weird or not. I can refer to it differently on this board than I would my family if that would make it less confusing as a "weird, baby-centric party celebrating the fact that I'm pregnant". Thats the joy of forums and the internet, though. You get to see the different ways people in general and families deal with things and get a better range on things since not everyone is the same and thats why Im here. So when I have a question, I can get multiple opinions, as well as just generally chat with women going through some of the same things as me. And thats what I came in here to this thread to do, as well, in hopes that it would help the Momma OP form her own opinion on what is best for her. I do, however, own up to the way that my family does things is not normal at all, and could be construed, as you said, as weird. But, its just simply how we do things and how Ive heard them being done since before my mother was born. I did, find, however, that if I were to go back and do it again, I would not put the registry on the invites as everyone else does in my family, just because the logic for the type of get -together I had and what you guys are saying does make sense, so I appreciate hearing how things are generally done outside of my family, too. I'll remember that when I host a family members shower ..er "baby-centric pregnancy congratulatory party" next time for whoever is next in line.

SabreenaEastman · August 2012

MelissaRae1525:
SabreenaEastman:
Youre right, and I don't. Like I said, I was using this how everyone else in my family uses celebratory instances (especially new babies) in their life as a get together with family that I don't get to see often.
Okay, clearly YOUR FAMILY knows that showers are, in fact. about gifts, and that's why they asked you about a registry.
Can people PLEASE stop saying showers aren't about gifts now?

lol I only mentioned that mine and the way my family does things doesn't put the emphasis. But yeah, I can see the confusion, and I won't anymore when it comes up, lol

MelissaRae1525 · August 2012

SabreenaEastman:
MelissaRae1525:
SabreenaEastman:
Youre right, and I don't. Like I said, I was using this how everyone else in my family uses celebratory instances (especially new babies) in their life as a get together with family that I don't get to see often.
Okay, clearly YOUR FAMILY knows that showers are, in fact. about gifts, and that's why they asked you about a registry.
Can people PLEASE stop saying showers aren't about gifts now?

lol I only mentioned that mine and the way my family does things doesn't put the emphasis. But yeah, I can see the confusion, and I won't anymore when it comes up, lol

I didn't mean just you, because there were others who said, "but it's not about the gifts!!!!" when it is at least for the OP because she was worried about getting her gifts back to her home.

If anyone wants to have a "baby celebration" and say it's not about gifts, whatever, fine. In this case though, it clearly is about getting gifts so I think most people would agree, soliciting others for gifts (especially after she said she's not very close to anyone in NC) is rude. But that isn't going to stop her from doing it. Well, maybe it will since she already has an idea that it's rude when she asked.

FairyDuster003 · August 2012

You probably have a million replies to this as NO, so I didn't even bother to read the etiquette police's posts. But in my opinion, seriously, just do it. Nobody really actually cares that much about it. If you plan to invite snarky, rude, judgmental, and down right hateful people to the thing, I'd say you might not want to have it at all. But hosting a "baby shower" for yourself is not a big deal. Do people go around asking, "and who is hosting this shower?" because if they do, they can easily be kicked out!

Anyhoo, Its no big deal. Get together with a close friend that you know would love to help you, and go for it! This is YOUR decision. Don't let these ladies here make you feel bad. Proper etiquette says that you never pass gas in public but I'm sure we don't always follow that rule either!

MelissaRae1525 · August 2012

FairyDuster003:
You probably have a million replies to this as NO, so I didn't even bother to read the etiquette police's posts. But in my opinion, seriously, just do it. Nobody really actually cares that much about it. If you plan to invite snarky, rude, judgmental, and down right hateful people to the thing, I'd say you might not want to have it at all. But hosting a "baby shower" for yourself is not a big deal. Do people go around asking, "and who is hosting this shower?" because if they do, they can easily be kicked out!
Anyhoo, Its no big deal. Get together with a close friend that you know would love to help you, and go for it! This is YOUR decision. Don't let these ladies here make you feel bad. Proper etiquette says that you never pass gas in public but I'm sure we don't always follow that rule either!

Did you even read the original question? And yes, people would ask who's hosting.

sara052420 · August 2012

MelissaRae1525:
FairyDuster003:
You probably have a million replies to this as NO, so I didn't even bother to read the etiquette police's posts. But in my opinion, seriously, just do it. Nobody really actually cares that much about it. If you plan to invite snarky, rude, judgmental, and down right hateful people to the thing, I'd say you might not want to have it at all. But hosting a "baby shower" for yourself is not a big deal. Do people go around asking, "and who is hosting this shower?" because if they do, they can easily be kicked out!
Anyhoo, Its no big deal. Get together with a close friend that you know would love to help you, and go for it! This is YOUR decision. Don't let these ladies here make you feel bad. Proper etiquette says that you never pass gas in public but I'm sure we don't always follow that rule either!
Did you even read the original question? And yes, people would ask who's hosting.

Why would people ask that? I have never been to a baby shower or a bridal shower or any kind of shower and thought or asked "who is hosting this?" lol that just seems silly to me.

Marie509 · August 2012

MelissaRae1525:
FairyDuster003:
You probably have a million replies to this as NO, so I didn't even bother to read the etiquette police's posts. But in my opinion, seriously, just do it. Nobody really actually cares that much about it. If you plan to invite snarky, rude, judgmental, and down right hateful people to the thing, I'd say you might not want to have it at all. But hosting a "baby shower" for yourself is not a big deal. Do people go around asking, "and who is hosting this shower?" because if they do, they can easily be kicked out!
Anyhoo, Its no big deal. !Get together with a close friend that you know would love to help you, and go for it This is YOUR decision. Don't let these ladies here make you feel bad. Proper etiquette says that you never pass gas in public but I'm sure we don't always follow that rule either!
Did you even read the original question? And yes, people would ask who's hosting.

baaahahahaha. who does this? really. Maybe YOU do this, but not typical people.

OP - do what you want. Ignore these twatwaffles and do what you feel. If you choose to do your own, no one is going to really know. Just do what's easier for you and makes you happy. Yes

MelissaRae1525 · August 2012

Marie509:
MelissaRae1525:
FairyDuster003:
You probably have a million replies to this as NO, so I didn't even bother to read the etiquette police's posts. But in my opinion, seriously, just do it. Nobody really actually cares that much about it. If you plan to invite snarky, rude, judgmental, and down right hateful people to the thing, I'd say you might not want to have it at all. But hosting a "baby shower" for yourself is not a big deal. Do people go around asking, "and who is hosting this shower?" because if they do, they can easily be kicked out!
Anyhoo, Its no big deal. !Get together with a close friend that you know would love to help you, and go for it This is YOUR decision. Don't let these ladies here make you feel bad. Proper etiquette says that you never pass gas in public but I'm sure we don't always follow that rule either!
Did you even read the original question? And yes, people would ask who's hosting.
baaahahahaha. who does this? really. Maybe YOU do this, but not typical people.
OP - do what you want. Ignore these twatwaffles and do what you feel. If you choose to do your own, no one is going to really know. Just do what's easier for you and makes you happy.

Why do you think people wouldn't know when it says RSVP to her name??? No, I wouldn't ask because it would be obvious if it was a shower I was going to but yeah, I've seen people ask (not on TB) when they thought the girl was going to throw her own shower. The OP knows it's rude, that's why she asked.

MelissaRae1525 · August 2012

sara052420:
MelissaRae1525:
FairyDuster003:
You probably have a million replies to this as NO, so I didn't even bother to read the etiquette police's posts. But in my opinion, seriously, just do it. Nobody really actually cares that much about it. If you plan to invite snarky, rude, judgmental, and down right hateful people to the thing, I'd say you might not want to have it at all. But hosting a "baby shower" for yourself is not a big deal. Do people go around asking, "and who is hosting this shower?" because if they do, they can easily be kicked out!
Anyhoo, Its no big deal. Get together with a close friend that you know would love to help you, and go for it! This is YOUR decision. Don't let these ladies here make you feel bad. Proper etiquette says that you never pass gas in public but I'm sure we don't always follow that rule either!
Did you even read the original question? And yes, people would ask who's hosting.
Why would people ask that? I have never been to a baby shower or a bridal shower or any kind of shower and thought or asked "who is hosting this?" lol that just seems silly to me.

I already answered but again, it will be obvious when it says "please RSVP to [her name]".

SabreenaEastman · August 2012

MelissaRae1525:

I didn't mean just you, because there were others who said, "but it's not about the gifts!!!!" when it is at least for the OP because she was worried about getting her gifts back to her home.

Yeah, lol. I tried to edit it but left before I made sure it processed, so that was my bad. But yeah, I think putting that into prospective, especially the main and only reason she asked about it was because she didnt want to transport gifts, is not a good reason at al.

buttaflly227 · August 2012

feffy11:You're asking if it's okay to host a fundraiser to get new stuff for your baby? Wow. I'm going to miss this board.

morethancottoncandy: I'm not sure why you would even bother, since you don't know anyone to invite.

candreco:Act like an adult...

dande2129:
I'm still waiting for your answer on who would come since you "don't really know anyone" but still bratty enough to not go back home to where people actually would want to (though I'm really not sure why) buy you presents.

JEEZ LADIES WAY TO BE RUDE !!!

I'm not TRYING to be all give me give me that's WHY I'M ASKING !!!! I wasn't sure if it really WOULD come off that way but I guess now I know.

And you ask who I'd invite, well everyone! People from MA and the friends I DO have down here. I do KNOW people down here just not well enough where I would think they'd actually THROW a baby shower for me.

MANY of the people in MA want to come down anyway and visit so I thought it would be an opportunity for them, not an obligation. I know many still may not come and that's fine I just don't see the logic in going up there to drag all the stuff back, WHICH is why I was brought to this question.

I wanted to know because if i'm NOT having one, I'd like to start stocking up, but if I AM having one, I would want to wait until after to see what I still need. So I guess I won't have one now which is fine, I'll just start stocking up on stuff and looking for deals.

I'm glad I don't know you girls I quoted in real life, I'll pray for you miserable things.

P.S

Thanks to the ladies with neutral answers who were adult enough to simply answer my question without being high school about it. I liked the meet the baby party idea because many will want to come see it when it's born anyway

MelissaRae1525 · August 2012

buttaflly227:
feffy11:
You're asking if it's okay to host a fundraiser to get new stuff for your baby? Wow. I'm going to miss this board.

morethancottoncandy: I'm not sure why you would even bother, since you don't know anyone to invite.

candreco:Act like an adult...

dande2129:
I'm still waiting for your answer on who would come since you "don't really know anyone" but still bratty enough to not go back home to where people actually would want to (though I'm really not sure why) buy you presents.

If you didn't want answers you shouldn't have asked the question. You can't say you didn't know it wasn't going to go over well.

morethancottoncandy · August 2012

Somebody needs to feel sorry for our husbands and babies for this thread to be complete.

hansonam446 · August 2012

buttaflly227:
feffy11:
You're asking if it's okay to host a fundraiser to get new stuff for your baby? Wow. I'm going to miss this board.

morethancottoncandy: I'm not sure why you would even bother, since you don't know anyone to invite.

candreco:Act like an adult...

dande2129:
I'm still waiting for your answer on who would come since you "don't really know anyone" but still bratty enough to not go back home to where people actually would want to (though I'm really not sure why) buy you presents.

JEEZ LADIES WAY TO BE RUDE !!!

I'm not TRYING to be all give me give me that's WHY I'M ASKING !!!! I wasn't sure if it really WOULD come off that way but I guess now I know.

And you ask who I'd invite, well everyone! People from MA and the friends I DO have down here. I do KNOW people down here just not well enough where I would think they'd actually THROW a baby shower for me.

MANY of the people in MA want to come down anyway and visit so I thought it would be an opportunity for them, not an obligation. I know many still may not come and that's fine I just don't see the logic in going up there to drag all the stuff back, WHICH is why I was brought to this question.

I wanted to know because if i'm NOT having one, I'd like to start stocking up, but if I AM having one, I would want to wait until after to see what I still need. So I guess I won't have one now which is fine, I'll just start stocking up on stuff and looking for deals.

I'm glad I don't know you girls I quoted in real life, I'll pray for you miserable things.

P.S

Thanks to the ladies with neutral answers who were adult enough to simply answer my question without being high school about it. I liked the meet the baby party idea because many will want to come see it when it's born anyway

morethancottoncandy · August 2012

hansonam446:
buttaflly227:
feffy11:
You're asking if it's okay to host a fundraiser to get new stuff for your baby? Wow. I'm going to miss this board.

morethancottoncandy:
I'm not sure why you would even bother, since you don't know anyone to invite.

candreco:Act like an adult...

dande2129:
I'm still waiting for your answer on who would come since you "don't really know anyone" but still bratty enough to not go back home to where people actually would want to (though I'm really not sure why) buy you presents.

JEEZ LADIES WAY TO BE RUDE !!!

I'm not TRYING to be all give me give me that's WHY I'M ASKING !!!! I wasn't sure if it really WOULD come off that way but I guess now I know.

And you ask who I'd invite, well everyone! People from MA and the friends I DO have down here. I do KNOW people down here just not well enough where I would think they'd actually THROW a baby shower for me.

MANY of the people in MA want to come down anyway and visit so I thought it would be an opportunity for them, not an obligation. I know many still may not come and that's fine I just don't see the logic in going up there to drag all the stuff back, WHICH is why I was brought to this question.

I wanted to know because if i'm NOT having one, I'd like to start stocking up, but if I AM having one, I would want to wait until after to see what I still need. So I guess I won't have one now which is fine, I'll just start stocking up on stuff and looking for deals.

I'm glad I don't know you girls I quoted in real life, I'll pray for you miserable things.

P.S

Thanks to the ladies with neutral answers who were adult enough to simply answer my question without being high school about it. I liked the meet the baby party idea because many will want to come see it when it's born anyway

You are cracking me up with these gifs today.

hansonam446 · August 2012

morethancottoncandy:
hansonam446:
buttaflly227:
feffy11:
You're asking if it's okay to host a fundraiser to get new stuff for your baby? Wow. I'm going to miss this board.

morethancottoncandy:
I'm not sure why you would even bother, since you don't know anyone to invite.

candreco:
Act like an adult...

dande2129:
I'm still waiting for your answer on who would come since you "don't really know anyone" but still bratty enough to not go back home to where people actually would want to (though I'm really not sure why) buy you presents.

JEEZ LADIES WAY TO BE RUDE !!!

I'm not TRYING to be all give me give me that's WHY I'M ASKING !!!! I wasn't sure if it really WOULD come off that way but I guess now I know.

And you ask who I'd invite, well everyone! People from MA and the friends I DO have down here. I do KNOW people down here just not well enough where I would think they'd actually THROW a baby shower for me.

MANY of the people in MA want to come down anyway and visit so I thought it would be an opportunity for them, not an obligation. I know many still may not come and that's fine I just don't see the logic in going up there to drag all the stuff back, WHICH is why I was brought to this question.

I wanted to know because if i'm NOT having one, I'd like to start stocking up, but if I AM having one, I would want to wait until after to see what I still need. So I guess I won't have one now which is fine, I'll just start stocking up on stuff and looking for deals.

I'm glad I don't know you girls I quoted in real life, I'll pray for you miserable things.

P.S

Thanks to the ladies with neutral answers who were adult enough to simply answer my question without being high school about it. I liked the meet the baby party idea because many will want to come see it when it's born anyway

You are cracking me up with these gifs today.

Haha I think they speak better than words alone

Marie509 · August 2012

MelissaRae1525:
buttaflly227:
feffy11:
You're asking if it's okay to host a fundraiser to get new stuff for your baby? Wow. I'm going to miss this board.

morethancottoncandy:
I'm not sure why you would even bother, since you don't know anyone to invite.

candreco:Act like an adult...

dande2129:
I'm still waiting for your answer on who would come since you "don't really know anyone" but still bratty enough to not go back home to where people actually would want to (though I'm really not sure why) buy you presents.

If you didn't want answers you shouldn't have asked the question. You can't say you didn't know it wasn't going to go over well.

bish.

dande2129 · August 2012

I am NOT miserable. I am SIMPLY giving ANSWERS to your QUESTION and asking a QUESTION in RETURN.

If YOU have SOME friends than it's POSSIBLE that ONE of your FRIENDS would throw you a SHOWER. Even ASKING them to THROW you a SHOWER would be better than THROWING your own. Or even CO-HOSTING and having SOMEONE else AS a RSVP person shows more TACT.

See? I, too, can capitalize letters to show emphasis on random shiit. You wanted opinions, you got them. Better luck next time.

hansonam446 · August 2012

dande2129:
I am NOT miserable. I am SIMPLY giving ANSWERS to your QUESTION and asking a QUESTION in RETURN.
If YOU have SOME friends than it's POSSIBLE that ONE of your FRIENDS would throw you a SHOWER. Even ASKING them to THROW you a SHOWER would be better than THROWING your own. Or even CO-HOSTING and having SOMEONE else AS a RSVP person shows more TACT.
See? I, too, can capitalize letters to show emphasis on random shiit. You wanted opinions, you got them. Better luck next time.

Well we are obviously very mean for telling her the truth about how we feel. And OP for the record, A LOT of people share the general opinion that throwing yourself a shower is a big no-no. We're just nice enough to actually tell you here instead of talking about your lack of taste behind your back.

Marie509 · August 2012

Indifferent I hope some of you aren't this rude IRL. Seriously, there's a difference in stating what you think and being a total biitch about it.

Who cares if she throws her own shower. Clearly it does not effect you in any way.

sara052420 · August 2012

Marie509:
I hope some of you aren't this rude IRL. Seriously, there's a difference in stating what you think and being a total biitch about it.
Who cares if she throws her own shower. Clearly it does not effect you in any way.

Yes

hansonam446 · August 2012

sara052420:
Marie509:
I hope some of you aren't this rude IRL. Seriously, there's a difference in stating what you think and being a total biitch about it.
Who cares if she throws her own shower. Clearly it does not effect you in any way.

She asked if we thought she should. We said no. No need for the butthurt from you guys. And yes, I knew a girl who was throwing her own shower for her 2nd child under 2 and I told her it was tacky and gift grabby and declined the invite.

Now the post is complete.

MelissaRae1525 · August 2012

Marie509:
MelissaRae1525:
buttaflly227:
feffy11:
You're asking if it's okay to host a fundraiser to get new stuff for your baby? Wow. I'm going to miss this board.

morethancottoncandy:
I'm not sure why you would even bother, since you don't know anyone to invite.

candreco:
Act like an adult...

dande2129:
I'm still waiting for your answer on who would come since you "don't really know anyone" but still bratty enough to not go back home to where people actually would want to (though I'm really not sure why) buy you presents.

If you didn't want answers you shouldn't have asked the question. You can't say you didn't know it wasn't going to go over well.

bish.

No one is being a b*tch here but you. No one called names or said rude things, unless telling her what she asked about doing rude, key words there being SHE ASKED. You seem very mature. You can go back to where you came from now.

MelissaRae1525 · August 2012

Marie509:
I hope some of you aren't this rude IRL. Seriously, there's a difference in stating what you think and being a total biitch about it.
Who cares if she throws her own shower. Clearly it does not effect you in any way.

She was the one who asked if it would be rude so......

PrimRoseMama · August 2012

Yes it's rude, tacky and gift grabby to throw your own shower. Even if you say it's "not about gifts" for your subset of aquaintances or family. In the general rule, if you asked someone off the street, it is not done.

The girls here will tell you straight up. Your friends or family won't say anything but you can bet your buns there will be someone realizing your lack of tact or taste behind your back.

It's not "mean", what, are you 5? It's common sense. You can feel sorry for my husband, child, pets and mailman now.

morethancottoncandy · August 2012

Marie509:
I hope some of you aren't this rude IRL. Seriously, there's a difference in stating what you think and being a total biitch about it.
Who cares if she throws her own shower. Clearly it does not effect you in any way.

The OP asked for opinions and got honest answers. That's the beauty of this place. We aren't your friends and acquaintances that are going to talk about you behind your back when you throw your own shower. The only one being rude here is you with the name calling. Though if common sense is this difficult for you, I can only guess that manners are completely out of your grasp. Oh, and calling us biitches? Please, at least be a little creative. I'm underwhelmed.

Marie509 · August 2012

Nah, I'm done. I was bored yesterday. You ladies were my entertainment.

Carla6394 · August 2012

MonicaClaire13:
Tennis Chick:
MonicaClaire13:
ambermccormick:

i have heard of ladies throwing a meet the baby party or a "guess what it is party" where people came with a gift for either or and find out what your having. another thing i heard was having kind of like an open house party where you show off the baby's room and people would bring like diapers and stuff to that. you can always ask a friend to host it at your house but you make all the plans and no one is the wiser.

This. I don't agree with any of the previous posts. If you're in a situation where you can't easily have a shower thrown for you, then throw your own party. It's for the BABY not YOU. No one's bringing gifts for you. How is it ever in bad taste to throw a celebration for your child?? It's something to celebrate!
Just do a loose family and friends party and send out invites saying "Come help me(us) celebrate my(our) little bundle of joy!"
People will decide whether or not to bring gifts on their own. If they ASK if you're registered somewhere, tell them. If not I wouldn't bring it up

But you can also have a cover person, have your sister or someone host it and do it at a community center or something but do the planning yourself. I have my mom and her best friend throwing one for me. It's at her best friend's house, my mom is footing the bill, but I get help with the planning and I came up with the party favors all on my own and did them. I enjoy planning/throwing parties more than attending them

I say do it, you can always figure out a way to do it in a classy manner

Did you read the OP? She does not have any friends/family where she currently lives....so 'throwing her own party' is really out. One can not expect people to drive 15hrs or jump on a plane for a baby shower - some people can, but realistically most can't.

Helping your host plan the shower is completely separate from planning it yourself.

1: I never said it was the same. And honestly, if you knew how much my mom works, you'd know I'm pretty much doing it on my own without paying for it. She's more of a front-man than anything else. Which is fine by me.

2: I don't know her! Maybe she has people who just aren't as close or maybe her SO has people they could invite. It's just a suggestion based of a board posting.. I don't know everything.

3: If she's considering throwing her own, she must know at least SOME people.

You could also always just go down there and have a party or go out to a restaurant and do presents and instead of your mom paying for the party she could pay to help ship the gifts back. There are always options

And people throw their own birthday parties/ birthday dinners all the time. How is it okay to throw a birthday party for yourself (where people are obviously expected to bring gifts) but not a baby shower in honor of your child?? I don't understand. And frankly, I honestly don't think MY friends would care if I threw my own. They wouldn't think about it, they'd just come to have a good time and celebrate with me. If you all have friends who are so stuck up that they would judge you for wanting to have this special moment with them, I feel sorry for you.

Do people really do this? Adult people throw their own birthday parties?

dande2129 · August 2012

Marie509:
Nah, I'm done. I was bored yesterday. You ladies were my entertainment.

In other words, "I don't feeling like calling you bishes anymore because you make sense."

Okay.

Want a personalized experience?

Should I throw my own shower?

Re: Should I throw my own shower?

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

Choose Another Board

Search Boards