Pregnant after a Loss

An update on what's happening

I am being admitted overnight, depending on how things look in a.m. I may have emergency cerclage tomorrow afternoon. Just have to wait it out overnight.

Ultimately the decision will be ours, as long as I'm not contracting too heavily. They have been registering small contractions today but nothing big; I'm definitely not in labor but the uterus IS active. Obviously the procedure is very risky itself at this gestation; risk of rupturing the bag, infection, irritating my uterus further, if I go into labor the cervix could tear... But if we just wait it out I could just keep dilating and shortening and end up delivering. There are drugs that can buy a few days but really can't be administered until 23.5 weeks so we'd really be just waiting and watching.

I don't know how to make this decision. What would you do in my shoes? Would you risk the cerclage and hope that it worked, so you'd feel like you were doing something at least? Or would you wait it out and possibly deliver a 24 weekend at best?
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Re: An update on what's happening

  • I am so sorry I wish I had advice, but I really have no idea what I would do. 

    ((hugs)) You and LO remain in my prayers.  

    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

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  • I wish that I had some advice to offer you, but I cannot begin to imagine how I would proceed. You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight. I pray that you will have comfort, guidance and strength, and that your lo keeps baking for a long time yet. Hugs to you during this difficult time.
     
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  • I'm sorry I have no advice. Only hopes and prayers for you and your LO. hugs
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  • Oh hun, I wish I had advice for you, but I don't.  I don't know what I would do in that situation.  I just hope that you and your DH will decide what is best for you and LO and that LO stays in there cooking for a while longer.  (((((HUGE HUGS)))))

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  • I can tell you what I think I'd do but really, it's up to you and YH. You will know what is right for your family. That being said, I'm keeping you in my prayers that you don't make any progress over night and your LO keeps baking.
  • Go with your gut. Lots of vibes to you!
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world." - Jack Layton

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    BFP #2 12/26/11 ~ EDD 9/6/12 ~ MMC discovered on 1/27/12 @ 8w1d (measured 6w2d)

    BFP #3 8/10/12 ~ EDD 4/23/13 ~ MMC discovered on 9/13/12 @ 8w2d (measured 6w6d)
  • Thinking of you! Praying for you and the baby tonight, and hoping you get some peace and clarity. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. 
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  • Someone earlier today had mentioned checking out the Incompetent cervix board on facebook because they have more experience with this.

    Keeping the prayers coming. I really wish there was something more I could do. If there is please let me know!!

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    BFP#1 on 02/14/09 BIRTH to Mason 6lb9oz on 10/12/09

    BFP#2 on 5/28/11 EDD 2/1/12 Natural M/C on 6/13/11

    BFP#3 on 1/20/12 EDD 9/30/12 Natural m/c on 1/27/12

    BFP#4 on 4/23/12 BIRTH to Isabella 7lb1oz on 12/19/12



  • I have no advice for you as I cannot begin to imagine making such a decision.  I'm sure you and your husband will make the best decision for you and your family.  I will say a prayer for you tonight that you do not progress any further and that your little one is able to continue growing for a while longer.  You will definitely be in my thoughts.  Big hugs to you.
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    BFP #1 - 12/12/11 - Missed M/C 1/9/12
    BFP #2 - 4/5/2012 - Son Born 12/12/12
    BFP #3 - 2/2/2014 - EDD 10/16/2014
  • I'm so sorry you have to make such a tough decision. I'm praying that you and your husband will have wisdom as you decide and that you'll have peace that whatever you choose is the best thing for you and your sweet baby.
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  • Oh my gosh, darling, I just signed on and found out about everything that is going on.  I really hope your uterus calms down and that you will be able to get the cerclage if need be.  I am sorry that I can't offer any advice except to go with your heart.  I will be thinking of you and checking on you tomorrow.  Good night, try to rest, though I imagine that must be easier said than done.

    BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
    BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
    BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
    BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
    Our little man is getting bigger every day!
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  • Hugs I hope your body starts cooperating.

    BFP 11/09 - DD 7/10 - BFP 8/11 - M/C 9/11 - BFP 6/12 - DD - 2/13

  • I've never been in your shoes, but I am keeping you in my prayers.  
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  • I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't have any advise, but I will certainly be praying for you and that God will give you wisdom to know what to do. *big hugs*
  • Stopping over from high risk to check on your updates...  Some decisions are just impossibly hard. We were in a similar spot my last pregnancy. What I've come to believe is that you can't make a wrong decision. You will make the choice that feels the best for you and your dh at the time and then try like hell not to doubt yourself afterwards. When there's no clear cut answer, all you can do is make the choice that feels least uncomfortable given all the info you have at the time. Thoughts, prayers, good vibes all continuing to come your way.
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  • I wish I had advice.  All I can offer is my thoughts and prayers, I have been thinking of you all day.  I'm so so sorry you are going through this.
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    Married the love of my life 7/11/09 - Our first baby, Peyton Mark, was born sleeping 10/25/11 at 33 weeks - Our second baby, BFP 2/4/12, welcome to the world Raylan! Holy Moly, BPF 2/4/14, please be safe and sound little one!

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  • I'm so sorry that you have to make such a difficult decision.  Only you and your husband can make the choice, and I have no doubt that you will be able to do what's right for your family.  GL, and lots of T&Ps are being sent your way...((hugs))
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  • Praying for you.
    imageimage After 2 years of trying with PCOS, 7 rounds of Clomid/Femara, and 2 early miscarriages, we finally found success. :) Due on April 24, 2013! Beta 1 (16 dpo): 477, Beta 2 (19 dpo): 1568, Beta 3 (21 dpo): 3560 Aug 24 - 5w ultrasound - 1 8mm gestational sac Aug 31 - 6w ultrasound - 1 empty 15 mm gestational sac - possible blighted ovum - Beta 41,716 Sept 7 - 7w ultrasound - 2 sacs, heart beats, and fetal poles - TWINS!! Baby A measuring 6w4d, Baby B measuring 6w6d BabyFruit Ticker
  • I was in the Antepartum unit at Swedish Hospital in Seattle for a couple of weeks in April.  The Labor and Delivery was on the other side of the floor.  So it was easier to not have to hear other women delivering their babies.  We had a support group that met once a week, and it gave us a chance to share what we were going through on hospital bedrest. 

    I would have done anything that I could have done to keep from delivering if I was under 30 weeks.  And if there was no choice but to deliver, I would have wanted the best NICU unit to be right there when I delivered.  Does the hospital that you are at have a good NICU unit? 

    I really hope that this works out for you.  My prayers are with you.  The hardest part is getting through the rest of the pregnancy.  But I hope that you are able to get this baby far enough in the pregnancy so that a NICU unit can take over if you need to deliver early. 

    imageimageLilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers image BFP on 07/18/08. Miscarriage 07/30/08. BFP 3/25/09. Confirmed second miscarriage, no heartbeat, no growth beyond 7 weeks, 5/19/09. TTC again, on baby aspirin, due to value of 23 on Anticardiolipin Antibodies. BFP 11/15/09. Brown spotting, Beta 3735 11/25/09, Beta 5602 11/28/09. Anticardiolipin Antibodies now negative, still on baby asprin. On 100 mg of Prometrium (progesterone) until 10 weeks. Good heartbeat at 1st appt. 12/16/09. Started taking fish oil. Perigestational hemorrhage and red bleeding 12/17/09. 2nd Ultrasound-8 weeks, still a heartbeat 12/17/09. Baby measured 9 weeks, still a heartbeat 12/23/09. Good NT Scan on 1/8/10, heartbeat 164. EDD 7/28/10. TEAM BLUE! Aidan Thomas born on May 26, 2010. Baby #2, BFP 11/27/11, EDD 6/5/12. TEAM PINK! Noelle Elizabeth born 4/30/12. Blessing from God, Blessing from God, Blessing from God, Blessing from God.
  • I'm so sorry this is happening to you and I am praying for you and your family.
    TTC #1 since Aug 2010 * BFP Aug 2011, EDD April 16 2012 * MMC @ 7w5d, D&C @ 10w5d
    BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks
    Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks on Nov 27 2012

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  • I wish I could give you some advice...the best I can do is tell you to go with you gut. Keeping you in my T&Ps
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  • I'm so sorry you're going through this!  My advice would be to talk to as many OB's and nurses in the hospital as possible.  Ask them to come talk to you, ask their experience with the procedure.  The more medical professionals you talk to, the better.  You can start by asking the nurses on rotation to send doctors into your room.  You'll make the decision that's right for you, hang in there!  We're all thinking of you and pulling for you =)=)
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  • Whichever decision you choose - it will be the right one. There is no right or wrong here, it's all difficult. I will keep you and your LO in my thoughts and prayers and keep hoping for a stop to these contractions so you both can relax and keep that baby growing right there!
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  • Thinking about you and praying for your family....
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  • Like the others I have no advice. I want you to know how much we are all thinking and praying for you. Hang in there and I know you will make the best decision for your baby and  family. I second the idea of asking as many doctors and nurses as possible about the procedure, etc. (((((Huge Hugs)))))
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
  • I am glad to hear that things have at least calmed down a bit, but so sorry that you are not out of the woods yet. If it were me, I would talk to as many nurses and doctors as possible to weigh the options and understand the risks with each option.  Then you and DH can make the most informed decision possible. Once you make your decision, just look forward and do not second guess yourself. Still keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.  

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    BFP#1 11/12/11 ~ No heartbeat 12/12/11 ~ D&C 12/19/11
    BFP#2 3/25/12 ~ Heartbeat 141 4/16/12 ~ No heartbeat 4/25/12 ~ D&C 04/30/12 
    BFP#3 7/16/12 ~ EDD 3/26/13 ~ It's a BOY ~ DOB 2/26/13






  • Keeping you all in my T&Ps.  ((hugs))
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  • I am so sorry. I woke up and immediately thought of you and said a prayer. I wish I had the expertise and knowledge to give my opinion on what to do, but I don't. I hope the drs there can help guide you to the decision you feel most comfortable with and that it keeps that little one in there for much longer. 
    BFP#1 2/18/2011, EDD 10/18/2011, natural m/c 2/28/2011 @ 7 weeks
    BFP#2 5/28/2011, EDD 2/1/2012, chemical pg
    BFP#3 10/22/2011, EDD 6/30/2012, natural m/c 11/3/2011 @ 6 weeks
    BFP#4 4/16/2012, EDD 12/24/2012, Beta #1 23 @ 10dpo, Beta #2 68 @ 12dpo, Beta #3 370 @ 16dpo, Saw baby and heartbeat on 5/11/2012.

    It's a boy!
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  • I wish I had advice but I have no idea what I would do unless I was in that situation. I am so sorry that you have to make such a difficult decision. Sending many T&Ps to you and baby.
    imageimageimage
    BFP #1 ~ EDD 5.20.2012 ~ MC 10.1.2011
    BFP #2 ~ EDD 11.15.2012 ~ CP 3.7.2012
    BFP #3 ~ DS born 12.03.2012

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  • I have no advice to offer you, just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
    BFP #1: 5-14-2010, DD born 1-22-2011
    BFP #2: 4-20-2012, Natural MC 5-1-2012
    BFP #3: 7-19-2012, DS born 3-27-2013
    BFP #4: 9-13-2014, MMC discovered 10-27-14 at 10w, d&c on 11-6-14 

  • imageCara03:
    Stopping over from high risk to check on your updates...  Some decisions are just impossibly hard. We were in a similar spot my last pregnancy. What I've come to believe is that you can't make a wrong decision. You will make the choice that feels the best for you and your dh at the time and then try like hell not to doubt yourself afterwards. When there's no clear cut answer, all you can do is make the choice that feels least uncomfortable given all the info you have at the time. Thoughts, prayers, good vibes all continuing to come your way.

    This.  *huge hugs* 

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  • Thinking of you always. Praying things work out and baby stays in cooking for a bit longer..
    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
  • I don't have anything additional I can offer. The other ladies have said about what I would - I would ask a million questions and then discuss things with my DH and make the most informed decision that we thought was best given the information we have. I am sending you many thoughts and prayers and am so, so, so hoping that little one stays in there. Big, big hugs to you during this difficult time.
    BFP #1, 12/22/09 - DD#1 born 9/2010
    BFP #2, 12/12/11, m/c 12/25/11
    BFP #3, 3/09/12, CP 3/10/12
    BFP #4, 7/22/12, DD#2 born 4/2013
     

  • Nobody should ever have to make a decision like that. I'm so sorry you're going through this. T&Ps for you and baby!
    It was a rough road, but Arlo Daniel was born April 1, 2013—and our second rainbow is due October 12, 2014.
  • I have no advice for you either. I am sending you DH, and LO lots of T&Ps.
    DS born 2009
    BFP#2 ~ 8/2/11, EDD 4/11/12, D&C 9/12/11 at 9w5d
    BFP#3 ~ 4/15/12, EDD 12/21/12 ~ DD born 12/22/12
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  • Oh WW, I am so sorry you are in this position.  I have been praying hard and constantly since I first heard the news.  I know you feel like you don't know where to turn or what to do.  I also know that the doctors, nurses and neonatal specialists are a wealth of info at your fingertips.  Ask them anything you think you need to know in order to make a well informed decision.  As others have said, you are going to make the right decision for you and your family - there is no wrong here.  Gather all the info you can and talk it through with you DH, in the end you will make the best decision you can in the circumstances you find yourself in.

    I will continue to pray that your body co-operates and that you will have the wisdom and guidance to make the right decision for you.  I will also pray that should a cerclage be the route you take, that the docs and health care professionals hands be guided and that the procedure be successful.  I pray that your baby bakes well beyond 24w.  ((HUGS))

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  • I can't imagine what you and YH are going through, I will be praying for you. This is an impossible situation to give advice about--only you and YH will be able to decide what is the right thing to do. 

    Have they started you on any meds to try to calm your uterus? Usually they'll use procardia (nifedipine) or indocin (indomethacin)... Maybe those are the medications that they are waiting until 23.5 weeks for? 

    No matter the decision that you come to, it will be the right one for you. 

  • I'm so sorry, but I have no idea what I would do.  I guess I would hope I would be able to trust my Dr. and do what they thought was best, but I am not sure.  I am so sorry that you are going through all of this.  I am sending many thoughts and prayers out to you and your family that LO stays in and things stop progressing.  BIG ((HUGS))

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  • I have no advice. I'm just one more person out there hoping and praying for you.  ((hugs))
  • I wish I could give you good advise, but all I can do is continue to send many, many T&P's your way.  I know that what ever decision you do make will be the right one for you and your family!  ((HUGE HUGS))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)

     

    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

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