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March 2013 Moms
tina308
member
When are you telling everyone?
tina308
member
Hi, I am really excited that I am now 10 weeks along with our first! I am just wondering when does everyone think is the best time to tell family, work, etc. that I am expecting? I thought I needed to wait in case I lost the baby but everything seems to be going well so far, fingers crossed. (I have no real reasons that I would miscarry but I'm just so nervous since it's my first I think!) Thanks for any advice you have!
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Re: When are you telling everyone?
This
see more After 12
Just because something isn't happening for you right now doesn't mean it will never happen.
IUI #1 - BFN IUI #2 - BFN
IVF - Starting injects May 25 IVF #1 - BFP!
Pretty much this, give or take a few weeks on 2nd tri and telling my principal.
My Blog: One Emerald
BFP#1: 9-13-11 EDD: 5-26-12 MMC: 11-4-11 D&C: 11-8-11
BFP#2: 7-6-12 Elizabeth Faye ("Zuzu") born 3-21-13
We told the parents and my two best friends the week we found out (5 weeks). We WERE going to tell all the brothers/sisters after our first appointment (next monday) but we had all of them together this weekend and we told them.
We are going to wait to tell everyone until Labor Day. Half of DH's extended family will be all together for a party and we want to announce in person. I will be 11 weeks at that point. I was prepared to tell everyone basically once I got the u/s and hb but waiting the little while longer will be even better (more definitely and less risk). This is our first also!
BFP - 7/16/12 ----- EDD 3/27/13 ----- Born 4/5/13
BFP - 5/27/14 ----- EDD 1/31/14 or 2/4/15
We've already told my parents and a few close friends. We're telling H's family over labor day, then immediately after I'll tell work and put it up on facebook. H's family/work/facebook all have to happen really quickly because someone is bound to let it leak otherwise.
H's family has no self control. Someone will post it to facebook (ughhh)
One of my bosses is a child and will tell everyone the second I tell him, so that's why it needs to be made public on FB before he does it for me. Yes, annoying.
(We will be at 13 weeks when I tell everyone)
The Baloney Bug, A Blog
It's a girl!
I told everyone today (Facebook). I'm surprised I held out this long personally. We were going to do it after our appt next week if we heard the heartbeat..,, BUT I had a surprise ultrasound at my RE and she said the chance of anything happening is very low. We got to see it again and it's huge now compared to two weeks ago. Strong heartbeat- 176 so we felt comfortable doing it now. If I could figure out how I add a picture on here I'd post our announcement pic!
Make a pregnancy ticker
We told immediately family within a week of finding out ourselves. Largely because no one even knew we were thinking about kids.
We have told a few friends along the way, as it comes up, since we can't really lie.
We will tell some extended famly starting late next week, once we have had our u/s. Largely because, we're heading on a family vacation where folks will sure to know. There will continue to be a strict - no facebook rule - at this point.
I plan to tell work after vacation - at 15 weeks. Then the world can know I guess...
We told our parents and some of our siblings yesterday after my doctor's appt and a good u/s. (9w3d)
We need to tell the rest of our siblings, grandparents, and a few close friends this week before it becomes more public knowledge. (Although we thought we got to BIL and SIL's after their kids went to bed, but they were still up, so my 3-year old nephew knows about the "baby in my belly" and was absolutely fascinated by the idea + how it will get out...so I don't think it's going to be quiet for long, LOL.)
Hello!
Same as a lot of people, I've told immediate family and a couple of very close friends. I have my first prenatal next week but, I plan on running a 10k race just before the 15 week mark and I plan on sporting a "Running for Two" tank... thought that would be a fun way to let the world know! I think do whatever you feel is best for you and your partner, I'm just going the cautious route for my own personal comfort, though I know my husband is ready to tell the world LOL.
Like many people have said, I think it's a very personal decision that only you and your H can make.
As for me, I've told 2 close friends and that is it. We may tell our immediate families around 10 weeks but may hold out until 12. Everyone else will be 12-14 weeks.
I would be comfortable telling my parents. soon but my MIL has zero filter so we have to assume our news will get out shortly after we tell her. For me personally, I wouldnt want extended family knowing about a loss so that is why we are holding out with immediate family for now.
This
We told all our loved ones pretty early on. The only people who don't know are "the facebook friends," our work, and people we don't see often.
And I'm so happy we told the people we told. They have all been so excited for us and have been great to talk to.
We told our families immediately We told everyone last week.
Sadly, anything can happen with a pregnancy at any time so I don't like to dwell on the "what ifs".
::MyBlog::
(lurking to stalk some of my PGAL March ladies)
I don't know how to tell you this, but "having no real reason to miscarry" isn't a safeguard. I had no reason to m/c. Most women on ttcal/pgal had no reason to m/c. It just happens. There is not really anything you can do about it.
That being said, I sincerely hope all works out for you. You being 10 weeks already is a good sign. A very good sign. Please do not let the fear/nervousness of a m/c dictate your pregnancy. If you are ready to announce, then by golly announce! Please enjoy every single minute of your pregnancy.
To answer the question, the first time I got pregnant, we announced 3 days after we got our BFP. Unfortunately, we had to un-announce 2 days after that. This time around, Husband didn't want to have to deal with unannouncing should something go wrong, so we waited until after my 12w appointment. We did tell family/friends before that, but it was "facebook official" at 12w.
After 7 years of no ovulation...
BFP#1 10/24/11 ~ EDD 6/29/12 ~ Natural m/c 11/2/11
BFP#2 2/3/12 ~ Alice born 9/26/12
This completely.
As far as when we are telling people--this time around, we decided that we were going to share the good news with close family and friends. We waited until we saw a heartbeat at our first ultrasound. The people that we told about the loss, after the fact, we told about this pregnancy. We figured we might as well celebrate each day that we have. Anyone that knows right now, I would be fine talking to about another loss.
I will not be making an announcement on FB--I echo PP who have said that it can be painful to see u/s photos etc.
** BFP #1 - M/C at 6 weeks 4/13/2012 **
** BFP #2 - expecting a little leprechaun!! EDD 3/21/13 | HB 7/30/2012 (6w3d) **
NT Scan 9/4 - looked great! | Grow, baby, grow!!! | A/S 10/29
***All AL always welcome***
So far we've only told my sister and her boyfriend and probably wouldn't have even told them except for the fact that I had to go in for an emergency u/s yesterday while DH was scheduled to be in court (he's an attorney- not a defendant
I didn't want to go alone, so my sister came with me. Thank goodness everything was ok (knock on wood).
As for everyone else, it probably won't be until 14 weeks. Having to untell even the few people we told before our losses was so incredibly painful that I don't think I can do it again should anything go wrong.
I also have to agree with PPs who have said that there is really no way of knowing if you are likely to miscarry. I sure as hell didn't have a reason to think it would happen to me- especially twice. While I wish every single woman on this board a happy and healthy pregnancy, it is a sad fact that 20-30% of pregnancies will end in a miscarriage and most of the time, no one has any reason to think it will happen to them.
BFP#1 11/12/11 ~ No heartbeat 12/12/11 ~ D&C 12/19/11
BFP#2 3/25/12 ~ Heartbeat 141 4/16/12 ~ No heartbeat 4/25/12 ~ D&C 04/30/12
BFP#3 7/16/12 ~ EDD 3/26/13 ~ It's a BOY ~ DOB 2/26/13
We have told immediate family (parents and sibilings), a few close friends and grandparents. We're telling DH's extended family on his mother's side this week since we are traveling together and they'll all figure it out the first time I turn down a drink.
We'll announce to everyone else shortly after we return as I'll be 12 weeks the day we get back.
My pregnancy blog
We told all of our close family and friends the same day we got our BFP with our first pregnancy (at 7.5 weeks). We were just too excited not to tell our loved ones even though we knew there was a possibility of me miscarrying. My mom had three miscarriages and only had me...so I had been aware of what a heartache a miscarriage could be. Still, I just could NOT keep it in! I miscarried 10 days later. It was somewhat hard to tell everyone about our loss but everyone was so supportive that it made it that much easier. I believe that if you celebrate alone, you also grieve alone. Having so many friends and family in the know helped us through the loss.
We never made it public on FB and, to be honest, I think it was harder for me afterward because we hadn't made it public. Not long after I miscarried, quite a few people I know announced their pregnancies on FB. Some of them were due around the same time I would have been due. It was hardest to see their u/s pics and read their exciting status updates knowing what we had just gone through. I guess I thought that people would have been a bit more sensitive toward me having known that I miscarried recently. Mind you, there is no reason that they should have been sensitive to me and, at the same time, not celebrating their own happiness. I was just sensitive to the topic. So, yeah, I don't think it would have helped had we made it public on FB.
Anyways, this time, when we got our BFP, we felt a little apprehensive towards feeling excited. We wanted to be excited but were also cautiously optimistic. We told some family a few days after the BFP and some friends over the following week and a bit. We feel that everyone that SHOULD know, DOES know. Everyone else can find out when we make it public around the 12 week mark. I go back to work (teaching) at the end of August, a few days shy of 12 weeks. I will tell my principal and colleagues then (some already know).
BFP #1 09/02/11 M/C 09/12/11 8w6days
BFP #2 07/18/12 Baby S born on his EDD 03/23/13
SS - age 12...SD - age 8...DS - 13 mos.
1. Telling people is a very personal choice and there isn't a right or wrong answer. When you are comfortable letting people know, let people know.
2. OP and teachinggirl. I really truly hope your two have healthy successful pregnancies, I really do. I don't wish loss on anyone. But throwing out there the "I have no reason to miscarry" line is extremely insensitive to those who have miscarried without a reason. And I know since you haven't experienced the loss of a child you can't fully understand what a pgal mom goes through. And I hope you never have to. There isn't a rhyme or reason to miscarriage it happens. To anyone.
3. Miscarriage is a lot harder to talk about than I think many realize. I see the "well, I'd want friends and family for support anyway" line all the time. Yes, everyone grieves differently. But the absolute hardest and heartbreaking moments is when someone innocently asks you "how's the baby?" and you have to relive the loss all over again and they feel like crap for bringing it up. I can talk about my loss now and have even blogged about it. It's not a voodoo topic, it's an emotional topic- two very different things.
4. We shared DD1 pregnancy news at 11 weeks. And plan to wait until about 12 weeks this time.
BFP #1: 9-20-2010 EDD: 5-25-2011 DD #1 born: 5-23-2011
BFP #2: 6-14-2012 EDD: 2-15-2013 MC: 6-19-2012 5w5d
BFP #3: 7-18-2012 EDD: 3-26-2012
This - we told my parents, grandmother and DH's father right away. After the first u/s, we told DH's sisters, I told my BF and DH told his BF. It is unlikely we will tell anyone else until at least the first week of September.
With DD#1 - I didn't tell anyone until after the first trimester other than DH's father and that was only because DH was visiting him in FL before the end of the first trimester and wanted to tell him in person. I guess I was too scared to tell anyone else since it was my first pregnancy.
I agree with everything you said, but on this note I wanted to add how the people you think are going to be there might totally suck. Some of them may not even call and acknowledge your loss, or you get to hear stupid sh!t like "at least it was early", "it happened for a reason", or even worse yet "God has a plan". That kind of stuff is not support. It's people trying to say anything to make themselves feel better that it won't happen to them.
BFP 4/18/12, M/C 4/27/12 at 6w6d
BFP 7/1/12 - Counting down to our little girl, EDD 3/8/13