Birthmother gift ? — The Bump

Birthmother gift ?

Our BM does not plan to have future contact with child.  I do not know much about the BF, but have sensed she is very uncomfortable with the situation all together.  I do still want to get her something when she presents us the baby at the hospital.  I've always planned to get something sentimental, but I do not think she would want  that.

Any suggestions that would show her our appreciation, but not upset her anymore than she already may be?


After DX- IF 1996-16 years old; IVF 1 5/2009 BFP! ;MC- 8 W6d- 6/2009
DX w/ Protein S Deficiency and unexplained thin lining
Multiple D&C's, Hysterscopy for removal of Scar Tissue, Endometrial Biopsy, 3 BFN FETs, including a year of cancelled due to lining issues (ranging 4.5 to 6.4),
Procedure of arcuate uterus, Shocking lining development...9.2.
Moved on to adoption 3/2011
Homestudy approved! 6/27/2011
Forever matched! 7/17/2012
Precious baby boy born 7/30/2012
SAIF & PAIF Always Welcome

Re: Birthmother gift ?

  • We gave ours a sterling silver necklace that had a heart on it. This way she can wear it whenever she is thinking of him. When she went to leave we hugged and I noticed when she changed into her normal clothes she had put it on.

    As well, if you don't feel comfortable giving her a gift you could always offer while she is in the hospital if she wants anything to eat or has clothes or a robe to wear while at the hospital.  Our BM didn't have time to grab her bag from home so we brought her pajamas, a robe and clothes to wear home. We also grabbed her food whenever she wanted it.

    TTC #1 since January 2008 dx: PCOS, Hyperthyroidism 5 IUI's - ALL BFN IVF & FET - BFN January 2012 - Moving onto Domestic Newborn Adoption May 2012 - Home study approved!! June 21, 2012 - Our little man was born! July 7, 2012 - We got to bring our little one home after a two week NICU visit. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • We got her flowers

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  • I became a mother because of adoption. She is the absolute love of my life. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker formerly known as sw_in_kc
  • I would write a heartfelt letter and give her flowers. 
    <a target="_blank" title="" href="">Our Adoption Blog</a>
  • We have an open adoption and our birth parents (who are still a couple) live in another state. As their gift, we got them a webcam since we know that financially it will be hard for them to get to visits. This way we can have almost instant access if we or they want it. We also got them a hand blown glass float (we live in a coastal town and they are very popular here)-we thought this would be a reminder in their house that they could look at and be reminded of DS but not something that friends would question about. Oh, and we did flowers in the hospital and a "hospital bag" with treats, games, lotions and other girlie stuff. They are really young and really broke so we wanted to help them as much as we could-especially since they never asked us for anything and refused to claim birthmom expenses-they felt that they got themselves into this situation that they should take care of it until DS was placed. I really admire them. Sorry for the long post...
    Unable to conceive due to emergency hysterectomy 11/04 Started our adoption journey 4/11 9/29/11- Officially waiting! 5/29/12- Our little boy is born and goes home with us the next day :-)
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