what are your plans for birth?

fiercelypatient · July 2012

I have an OB and that is the plan but I am really inspired by this woman's story. I would be way too scared with this being my first but for babies after this maybe.

https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/966059/unassisted-childbirth-at-home/page:2

holly321 · July 2012

I plan a hospital, natural, VBAC. Hopefully things go more according to plan this time.

dande2129 · July 2012

Please.... please do not do that. That woman was incredibly lucky.

If you want to go the home birth route, check your state regulations and laws about midwife assisted home birth, or see if your area has birthing centers, which are usually less "hospital-ish" and have the birthing tubs and all of those kinds of things, but they are monitored by midwives/doctors.

I don't think that woman is inspiring--- I think she's an egotistical idiot. But, to each their own.

JumpAroundBucky · July 2012

My plan is to have a baby.

Ideally in a hospital.

Ideally through my vagina.

The first one is the only really essential one (the hospital being a close second).

momtojad · July 2012

We are birthing at a Midwife center, set up just like a home. We will be doing a natural birth.

carig63 · July 2012

If you do plan to give birth at home, make a back-up plan. If things go wrong, you may need emergency care for yourself and your baby. A neutral third party that can make that decision objectively (like a midwife) is the way to go, if your heart is set on home birth. Don't let your ego cause heartache.

And for what it's worth, I saw an OB, gave birth in a hospital, and had an epidural. I plan on doing it exactly the same way this time. Just because you hear horror stories doesn't mean they're going to happen to you.

holly321 · July 2012

I just read the article, I think that is a horrible idea. You never know when complications can arise. Like PP said, she was very lucky that nothing happened. And waiting until 30 weeks to see the doctor? That is just plan stupid.

dande2129 · July 2012

holly321:
I just read the article, I think that is a horrible idea. You never know when complications can arise. Like PP said, she was very lucky that nothing happened. And waiting until 30 weeks to see the doctor? That is just plan stupid.

And her newborn wasn't even checked up on until two weeks after he was born. Like, WTF?

fiercelypatient · July 2012

I did not say that I would go through with that especially with a first baby. I know next to nothing about pregnancy and childbirth. I'm only say that she is inspiring because she took the natural process into her own hands. I would have had my newborn to the doctor before two weeks though and I would have seen an OB way before 30 weeks even if I was planning to deliver at home.

fiercelypatient · July 2012

Oh also I do agree with a comment that was made on the article about how the US has a 32% C-section rate and that should not even happen if we are such a developed and civilized nation. C-sections are almost always done unnecessarily. It is a fact that doctors use scare tactics. I saw a documentary (The Business Of Being Born) that was really eye opening too. I just think that just because what you believe is different from someone else does not mean that it is wrong for either party.

miakrita · July 2012

JumpAroundBucky:
My plan is to have a baby.
Ideally in a hospital.
Ideally through my vagina.
The first one is the only really essential one (the hospital being a close second).

Ditto, though I'm nervous about the whole hospital and vagina part.

dande2129 · July 2012

fiercelypatient:
Oh also I do agree with a comment that was made on the article about how the US has a 32% C-section rate and that should not even happen if we are such a developed and civilized nation. C-sections are almost always done unnecessarily. It is a fact that doctors use scare tactics. I saw a documentary (The Business Of Being Born) that was really eye opening too. I just think that just because what you believe is different from someone else does not mean that it is wrong for either party.

I'm not trying to argue with you because I have been in your position before, and probably have made the same arguments that you have and will. Home birth can be safe given the right circumstances, the right "team" and support system as well as the right BODY. Just because you want to doesn't mean that your body was equipped to do so. In another life, in another time, you may have just died from giving birth.

And show me the "facts" on doctor's using scare tactics? I do believe that because anyone can sue for ANYTHING and the process of delivering a human is a huge responsibility, that malpractice insurance fuels the need to be proactive ahead of time during a relatively (or moreso) difficult labor and delivery than look back when you've been sued the eff out of and think, "Oh. Gee. I could have done this and this and this." That, unfortunately, is how it works. But you have to be an advocate for yourself and your baby, and there has to be a balance between what's healthy and best, versus what you had created in your mind to be this awesome, beautiful birth experience.

/rant over

shibby00 · July 2012

I'll be having a RCS. You know, the devilish c/s...and I'll be scheduling it.

candreco · July 2012

JumpAroundBucky:

My plan is to have a baby.

Ideally in a hospital.

Ideally through my vagina.

The first one is the only really essential one (the hospital being a close second).

Exactly. This served me quite well the first time around. Seriously, do not get yourself mentally locked into what your perfect birth experience is. Be educated about the possibilities, talk to your OB/MW about their preferences, and know what you would choose if you're given a choice, but also know that sometimes you won't have one.

And while I had a very good experience the first time, and everything went pretty smoothly, DD had some serious late decelerations during labor that you would have no idea about if you were L&Ding at home on your own. There are so many things that can go wrong, and it's so important to have professionals there for you.

stahlop · July 2012

I did home birth with my first (had planned on natural birth in the hospital but changed our minds at 30 weeks). We plan on doing a home birth for this one too. I don't think I could do a hospital birth with all the freedom I had with my home birth.

singingsea · July 2012

At a hospital and definitely not natural. I was a 10lb baby :P

Rynleigh · July 2012

Had both of my first two delivered by CERTIFIED nurse midwives, in HOSPITALS, where medical equipment and emergency services were immediately available in case of emergency.

My mother had me, my sister, and one of my brothers in hospitals, and she hated it because of the "lack of control" it gave her - but my mother is also an egotistical nutjob who would rather do things "naturally" than safely. She had another of my brothers at home on the living room floor (our middle child) - it was an extremely disturbing thing to witness in the middle of the night, as a 4yr old child - burned into my memory. They had to take her into the hospital for internal bleeding after he was born. They both pulled through, but there is a good reason she never had another baby at home. She had my youngest brother in a "birthing center" (i.e. a cozy little building rented by her "midwife" with a heart monitor and a sink). He was born with his cord wrapped around his neck, he tumbled out onto the "birthing bed" without being caught, and they had to resuscitate him. I was also present for that birth (joy) at 9yrs old.

If you want to be a responsible and loving parent, please have your baby delivered by a trained, certified, medical professional, with EASY access to prompt medical emergency care. There are hundreds of thousands of professional birthing suites with wonderful homey, roomy, relaxing environments where PROFESSIONAL midwives are permitted to practice. While your baby could be born safely and without risk in your own home, it is an early sign of irresponsibility for the life you are being entrusted with. We delivered babies for thousands of years without medical training... and we also had absurd infant mortality rates. Home birthing is not inspirational. It is activist driven recklessness.

Rynleigh · July 2012

(Also, I was delivered via C section - as the first of five children - because I was breech. This is not a "scare tactic" - it is a legitimate reason to have a cut to save your baby's brain function. Without a CS, I could have been born with significant to severe delays, disabilities, or damage. My mother went on to birth four more children vaginally without any demand from any of her advisers - OB, midwife, or otherwise - to have repeat CS operations)

renc9828 · July 2012

My plans are as follows: 1. Have a healthy full term baby. 2. At a hospital. 3. Hopefully my epidural will work this time. 4. Not have pre-e, that shiiiit sucks.

doremi29 · July 2012

I'm hoping for another great vaginal delivery- my experience with DS was awesome. I am sure I will get an epi like I did the first time around. This time, if all is going well, I would like DH to "catch" the baby. My OB allows it (she sort of "assists") as long as no complications arise during delivery. Since we're team green I'd love for him to be able to announce what it is. Not sure if I can get DH on board or not, but the first time he was right down there anyway! lol

mollyj931 · July 2012

I plan to have another hospital, vaginal birth. Most likely with an epi again. I had an awesome experience with my first birth so hopeful to replicate that.

holly321 · July 2012

fiercelypatient:
Oh also I do agree with a comment that was made on the article about how the US has a 32% C-section rate and that should not even happen if we are such a developed and civilized nation. C-sections are almost always done unnecessarily. It is a fact that doctors use scare tactics. I saw a documentary (The Business Of Being Born) that was really eye opening too. I just think that just because what you believe is different from someone else does not mean that it is wrong for either party.

Not all csections are unnecessary. I had mine because DD was breech, and while I don't agree that all breech babies need to born by cesarean, she should have, she was small (5 lbs), and it is harder on small babies to be born breech.

And BTW, when my OB clearly upset about it himself, told me I had to have a csection, he was much more bothered by the fact than myself. Also, he is very much supportive of my VBAC attempt, he said in my case, there would be no reason to even have a RCS.

Now, was my csection a horrible experience? Yes. Do I want to go through that again? H*ll no.

holly321 · July 2012

fiercelypatient:
I did not say that I would go through with that especially with a first baby. I know next to nothing about pregnancy and childbirth. I'm only say that she is inspiring because she took the natural process into her own hands. I would have had my newborn to the doctor before two weeks though and I would have seen an OB way before 30 weeks even if I was planning to deliver at home.

Just curious, why does it matter if it is your first? I was much more open to the idea of a home birth before DD was born. You can still take birth into your own hands, even if you are in a hospital. You just need to find a supportive provider, who will allow such things, as long as everyone is healthy and safe. OBs and midwives like these do exist.

AKWinterBride · July 2012

JumpAroundBucky:

My plan is to have a baby.

Ideally in a hospital.

Ideally through my vagina.

The first one is the only really essential one (the hospital being a close second).

I'm with you! I don't live under any illusion that this baby will come out the way I want it to, it will happen the way it happens and I just need to be prepared for whatever may come! As long as we end up with a happy, healthy baby, I really couldn't care less how they get here!

LiteraryFoodie · July 2012

I am very supportive of homebirth, in fact if politics hadn't screwed things up in NC, I'd be planning one right now. However, I am NOT an advocate of an unassisted homebirth. Unassisted homebirth is irresponsible and contributes to branding the rest of homebirthing mothers and midwives as reckless, irresponsible, and dangerous. Of course there are always exceptions, but in unassisted homebirth, there are very few.

With that said, I think the woman in Nebraska was in a very difficult situation. She *shouldn't* have had to deal with all that. She *should* have been able to be attended by a CNM (who are board certified!), a practitioner who makes their life work about attending mothers and babies. The only way she could legally not give birth in a hospital setting was if she went it alone. Laws like this are asinine and need to be changed so that women have safe, legal birth options.

I'm planning a med-free natural birth at a free standing birth center with midwives. It's the closest I can get to a legal homebirth right now. I'm hoping with future pregnancies I'll have the option to plan a legal, assisted homebirth.

aimeecasey · July 2012

JumpAroundBucky:
My plan is to have a baby.
Ideally in a hospital.
Ideally through my vagina.
The first one is the only really essential one (the hospital being a close second).

Ditto. I hope to be able to labor at home longer and I hope to go without the epi this time (made it to 7cm w/o last time) but I'm not opposed to getting it again.

aimeecasey · July 2012

And while I completely support people who want an all natural birth etc, there is a big difference between cutting back on unnecessary medical intervention and having your head in the clouds. Sure, women have been birthing children for thousands of years some will say, but they forget to mention how many of those children were raised without mothers. Just be wise in whatever decision you make.

NechamaChayim · July 2012

Our plan is for a homebirth. I see my back-up OBGYN next Thursday (their office is already completely aware of my plan and has it on my records) and then probably again around 14 weeks. If everything looks good then I will find a midwife that his office is willing to back.

NechamaChayim · July 2012

Double Post

00jennifer00 · July 2012

Putting on my fire retardant suit here. I've had 3 unassisted births. I'll have another God-willing. Nothing I say will change any of your minds, and that's fine. Nothing you say will change mine. When I made the decision with my second baby, it was after months and months of research, soul-searching, and prayer. Until you feel that small voice leading you, you can't understand. Is it for everyone? Absolutely not. Is it for me? On a case by case basis, yes. My husband and I know that WE are responsible. If circumstances were different, we might have other thoughts. My first u/c was so picture perfect with every single tiny prayer I had answered in very specific ways. No one can say it wasn't God's will for us. I personally think it's irresponsible to be pregnant and not know what to do in case of an emergency. Any baby could come at any time. There could be a snow storm with phone lines down. What are you going to do? I think we should all know how to give birth alone, just in case. People have been giving birth for a long time, and yes, it can be dangerous, but it's not always. I'm not going to go eat my cheeseburger in the hospital just in case my heart is about to give up. Between my close friends and I, we've had 6 u/c's. Perfect, wonderful, blessed, healthy. If we ever thought for a second that we needed assistance, we'd get it immediately.

I'm not going to come back to this thread to read all the blasting, so OP, if you want to talk or whatever, pm me.

NechamaChayim · July 2012

I have a friend who did her 3rd or 4th unassisted but not subsequent pregnancies. Another friend accidentally had her 9th unassisted and recently another had hr 4th accidentally unassisted. Their babies just came really fast before the midwife could get to the house.

I am not a fan of the unassisted homebirth. If you kill yourself and your child I guess that's your problem..but what about your spouse and the children you may leave behind? That isn't fair and it could end badly. My two friends never intended to give birth without their midwife. It just happened but for those who plan it that way...I think it's stupid.

NechamaChayim · July 2012

00jennifer00:
No one can say it wasn't God's will for us.

So God told you to do it, huh? I guess when that is your reasoning it doesn't matter what happens. If your baby dies it was God's will. If you die it was God's will. If your children don't have a mother it's because it was God will. He wanted them to grow up without a mother. You don't actually have to take responsiblity for your actions.

People are perfectly free to do what they want but just because you think God told you how to deliver doesn't mean I have to believe it. So yeah, actually I can say it wasn't God's will for you. I just did. The fact that you felt at peace over it doesn't mean a Divine being had it all planned out for you.

SparkleK · July 2012

The plan is at a hospital with a CNM. I was able to go med-free last time with just my DH and I (no doula).

DH and I took hypnobirth lessons in our home last time, so once we get to around 32/34 weeks, we'll probably start brushing up on the techniques so that we're good to go again.

We're in a new state this time around and our hospital has these super fancy private suites that you can pay a little more out of pocket for, and I'd like to see about getting one of those too.

holly321 · July 2012

00jennifer00:
Putting on my fire retardant suit here. I've had 3 unassisted births. I'll have another God-willing. Nothing I say will change any of your minds, and that's fine. Nothing you say will change mine. When I made the decision with my second baby, it was after months and months of research, soul-searching, and prayer. Until you feel that small voice leading you, you can't understand. Is it for everyone? Absolutely not. Is it for me? On a case by case basis, yes. My husband and I know that WE are responsible. If circumstances were different, we might have other thoughts. My first u/c was so picture perfect with every single tiny prayer I had answered in very specific ways. No one can say it wasn't God's will for us. I personally think it's irresponsible to be pregnant and not know what to do in case of an emergency. Any baby could come at any time. There could be a snow storm with phone lines down. What are you going to do? I think we should all know how to give birth alone, just in case. People have been giving birth for a long time, and yes, it can be dangerous, but it's not always. I'm not going to go eat my cheeseburger in the hospital just in case my heart is about to give up. Between my close friends and I, we've had 6 u/c's. Perfect, wonderful, blessed, healthy. If we ever thought for a second that we needed assistance, we'd get it immediately.

I'm not going to come back to this thread to read all the blasting, so OP, if you want to talk or whatever, pm me.

I agree very much with this. I read as much as I could about how to give birth on your own, in necessary. I got especially scared when I was walking around 5 cm dilated. I also just planned to go to the fire hall I live beside in case of snow storm, lol.

acesup · July 2012

i am having a scheduled c-section (repeat).

i did not have a birth plan with DD, as i knew that a lot of times with babies things don't go according to plan lol.

acesup · July 2012

dande2129:
fiercelypatient:
Oh also I do agree with a comment that was made on the article about how the US has a 32% C-section rate and that should not even happen if we are such a developed and civilized nation. C-sections are almost always done unnecessarily. It is a fact that doctors use scare tactics. I saw a documentary (The Business Of Being Born) that was really eye opening too. I just think that just because what you believe is different from someone else does not mean that it is wrong for either party.
I'm not trying to argue with you because I have been in your position before, and probably have made the same arguments that you have and will. Home birth can be safe given the right circumstances, the right "team" and support system as well as the right BODY. Just because you want to doesn't mean that your body was equipped to do so. In another life, in another time, you may have just died from giving birth.
And show me the "facts" on doctor's using scare tactics? I do believe that because anyone can sue for ANYTHING and the process of delivering a human is a huge responsibility, that malpractice insurance fuels the need to be proactive ahead of time during a relatively (or moreso) difficult labor and delivery than look back when you've been sued the eff out of and think, "Oh. Gee. I could have done this and this and this." That, unfortunately, is how it works. But you have to be an advocate for yourself and your baby, and there has to be a balance between what's healthy and best, versus what you had created in your mind to be this awesome, beautiful birth experience.
/rant over

i agree with dande 100%. i had a c-section. it was scheduled too. the nerve. my doctors estimated my DD to be between 9 and 9 1/2 lbs. based on my size and stature and the measurements of her head and body, they did not believe she would fit. and they STRONGLY believed that if her head fit, her shoulders wouldnt. there was a very high risk of shoulder dystocia. they told me the risks of attempting a vaginal delivery and left the choice to me. those were risk i was not willing to take. but i was not bullied and no one used scare tactics.

i honestly don't know why people have such HUGE issues with c-sections. if that is the safest way to get the baby into the world then so be it.

ETA: they were dead-on.... she was 9 lbs 4 oz

epona3 · July 2012

I would not do an unassisted homebirth, but to each their own...

I hope to have a similar experience that I had with DD. I went to a midwife practice in a hospital, had a med/intervention free birth and a healthy baby. I was able to decide what procedures DD had (no eye gook or Hep B shot), immediate skin-to-skin and nursing, etc. It was overall a great experience.

However, my favorite midwife recently opened her own free standing birthing center, so I may go there. I'm still a little on the fence...

[Deleted User] · July 2012

I plan to get the baby out safely while not killing myself in the process. That's all I've got, so far.

monlyn9 · July 2012

singingsea:
At a hospital and definitely not natural. I was a 10lb baby :P

What exactly does your birth weight have to do with the baby you will be delivering?

acesup · July 2012

monlyn9:
singingsea:
At a hospital and definitely not natural. I was a 10lb baby :P
What exactly does your birth weight have to do with the baby you will be delivering?

i have heard that it "runs in the family"... however I was 7.1 and DH was 6.6 and we had an over 9lb baby :P

LnR70707 · July 2012

00jennifer00:

Putting on my fire retardant suit here. I've had 3 unassisted births. I'll have another God-willing. Nothing I say will change any of your minds, and that's fine. Nothing you say will change mine. When I made the decision with my second baby, it was after months and months of research, soul-searching, and prayer. Until you feel that small voice leading you, you can't understand. Is it for everyone? Absolutely not. Is it for me? On a case by case basis, yes. My husband and I know that WE are responsible. If circumstances were different, we might have other thoughts. My first u/c was so picture perfect with every single tiny prayer I had answered in very specific ways. No one can say it wasn't God's will for us. I personally think it's irresponsible to be pregnant and not know what to do in case of an emergency. Any baby could come at any time. There could be a snow storm with phone lines down. What are you going to do? I think we should all know how to give birth alone, just in case. People have been giving birth for a long time, and yes, it can be dangerous, but it's not always. I'm not going to go eat my cheeseburger in the hospital just in case my heart is about to give up. Between my close friends and I, we've had 6 u/c's. Perfect, wonderful, blessed, healthy. If we ever thought for a second that we needed assistance, we'd get it immediately.

I'm not going to come back to this thread to read all the blasting, so OP, if you want to talk or whatever, pm me.

Considering your siggy says you've had 4 losses...it is beyond me that you are willing to toss the lives of your surviving babies to the wind like that. By the time people like you think they need assistance, it is too late.

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