Asking guests to write info on envelopes - Tacky or not?

sinisforgiven · July 2012

I've been to a couple of showers where the hostess asked the guests to write their name and address on the front of envelopes. Clearly it was to help the mom out when it came time for her to send out thank-yous... I always thought it was a nice idea, and would be glad to help the mother-to-be out in any way that I could.

Would any of you find this tacky/lazy? My baby shower is being thrown on Sunday and I was considering asking my hostess to put out the envelopes I've bought... but now I'm second guessing the idea.

Sherbet Lemon · July 2012

sinisforgiven:

I've been to a couple of showers where the hostess asked the guests to write their name and address on the front of envelopes. Clearly it was to help the mom out when it came time for her to send out thank-yous... I always thought it was a nice idea, and would be glad to help the mother-to-be out in any way that I could.

Would any of you find this tacky/lazy? My baby shower is being thrown on Sunday and I was considering asking my hostess to put out the envelopes I've bought... but now I'm second guessing the idea.

Yes. It's only a step away from asking your guests to just go ahead and write their own thank you notes. Don't ask your hostess to do this. Please.

sinisforgiven · July 2012

Sherbet Lemon:
sinisforgiven:

I've been to a couple of showers where the hostess asked the guests to write their name and address on the front of envelopes. Clearly it was to help the mom out when it came time for her to send out thank-yous... I always thought it was a nice idea, and would be glad to help the mother-to-be out in any way that I could.

Would any of you find this tacky/lazy? My baby shower is being thrown on Sunday and I was considering asking my hostess to put out the envelopes I've bought... but now I'm second guessing the idea.

Yes. It's only a step away from asking your guests to just go ahead and write their own thank you notes. Don't ask your hostess to do this. Please.

Thanks.. I figured there would be people that would feel that way, and probably will have a few at the shower that might think the same thing. .. That's why I asked, because i never thought twice about it when I've been requested to write my address on an envelope in the past... I usually just go with the flow about that sort of thing and don't think too deeply into it.

myatala · July 2012

Asking guests to address their own thank you card envelopes is both tacky AND lazy, IMO. You should have all the guests' current addresses already from when you compiled them for the invitations, so I just can't see where there's any reasonable excuse to ask guests to address their own envelopes.

macy42 · July 2012

I don't think it's tacky. Every.single.shower I've EVER been to has done this. I don't know why your aunt or sister-in-law or best friend or cousin would be appalled by writing their name and address on an envelope. If it were strangers, then yeah, def. it would be tacky. Do you what you think is best. I don't think you will be judged by family and close friends if you decide to do it.

FWIW, the shower I've been to use the "write your name and address on an envelope" as a game. After everyone fills out their envelope, they put it in a basket and so many get pulled out of the basket for a small gift.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

I find it tacky...it really doesn't take that long for the MTB to type up or hand write the addresses on the envelopes for the thank you notes. Besides, the guests came to her shower, spent time and money on her...it's really the least she can do to show her gratitude. I'm looking forward to doing my thank you notes!

MelleTX · July 2012

Tacky.

About the only time-saving tip I will allow is pre-printed labels, but you still have to print them out and affix them yourselves.

I have been known to run my envelopes through my printer though, but truthfully that almost takes more time to set up than just writing them by hand.

misspunky · July 2012

That's horribly tacky. I would hate getting a thank you note with my handwriting on the outside.

pam1005 · July 2012

It is common at every shower I go to. They use the envelope as part of a drawing. There are few showers that I have been to where we don't do this. This is one of those things that I don't find a big deal.

ashtonblair123 · July 2012

I know for a fact that my family is doing this at my shower cause they told me so.

However, they also know that I'll never get around to sending them out (Yeah, I'm THAT girl) without them practically filling them out for me. It's sad, but true. I don't think it's tacky, I think it's smart. You've got a lot of stuff going on, and a short time to get it all done. I don't think anyone would be like OMG this lady made my wrote my own address on my TY card, what a lazy bum.

Just my opinion. But as I mentioned above, I am obviously rude. (Although, I always have good intentions.)

eav2c · July 2012

Tacky. Not the worst thing but not something I'd do either.

Allycat11 · July 2012

I think it is tacky and lazy, and had never heard of it until TK/TB. Addressing thank you notes takes a couple minutes and after your guests have spent time and money attending your shower, the least you can do is take care of thank you notes. Considering your host(s) have already sent shower invitations in the mail, you already have all of the addresses so I can not think of a single good reason to do this.

EastCoastBride · July 2012

Of all the stuff that bugs me, this isn't one of them. Oddly enough. I'm not offended when asked todo this.

ccam · July 2012

Tacky

sesigs · July 2012

myatala:
Asking guests to address their own thank you card envelopes is both tacky AND lazy, IMO. You should have all the guests' current addresses already from when you compiled them for the invitations, so I just can't see where there's any reasonable excuse to ask guests to address their own envelopes.

This. If you invited them to the shower in the first place you should already have their information.

cwm11985 · July 2012

I've never seen it done at a shower but I really do think its ridiculous. There is no reason the MTB can't take an extra minute per thank you and write out the address..or team up with your husband and have him do it. Its just lazy lazy to have guests do that.

RoxyLynn · July 2012

It's jaw-droppingly rude.

BallSox · July 2012

So lazy. I didn't comply with the request at a shower once and didn't receive a thank you. I'd rather not get one than get one I wrote myself (practically).

jobiann · July 2012

MrsNorry:
I find it tacky...it really doesn't take that long for the MTB to type up or hand write the addresses on the envelopes for the thank you notes. Besides, the guests came to her shower, spent time and money on her...it's really the least she can do to show her gratitude. I'm looking forward to doing my thank you notes!

This, I guess I was a sick bride that I actually liked writing my thank you's for my wedding to have the chance to really thank them for sharing our special day with us. And I look forward to doing the same after my baby shower(s).

I've never been to a shower that we've addressed our own thank you cards. To each their own!

Liz4444 · July 2012

Awful. The only place I should self address an envelope is the dentists office.

tobysnuggles · July 2012

Not a fan of this. Just was at a shower when it was requested and made a note to mention it to my mom do not do this for mine! Honestly, how many people are invited to the shower? Its not super overwhelming to write out up to 50 addresses. The excuse for the last shower was she didn't have all the addresses...which is odd because the invitations came in the mail. The host couldn't share them with her? When I get a letter in the mail with my hand writing on it I just find it odd.

Aleja0918 · July 2012

cwm11985:
I've never seen it done at a shower but I really do think its ridiculous. There is no reason the MTB can't take an extra minute per thank you and write out the address..or team up with your husband and have him do it. Its just lazy lazy to have guests do that.

This. Thankfully, I've only heard of it on the Bump.

PunkyBooster · July 2012

I am hardly the etiquette expert, but I don't find this idea appealing.

I mean, it takes all of, what? 14 seconds for you to address an envelope?

carig63 · July 2012

Please don't. Obviously preparing for a baby is a lot of work. But if you can sacrifice the time to let yourself be showered with gifts, you can take the time to address the thank-yous (not to mention hand writing each one of them!). If your hostess really wants to be helpful to you, she could do a mail merge of the guest list and print labels with the addresses of all those that were invited. I wouldn't mind that at all, if I were a guest.

tatercater · July 2012

I despise this stupid practice so much that I always go over the top when addressing my own envelope. I'll address it to myself as "Grand Majesty" or "Favorite Friend" or something stupid like that.

PLEASE do not make your guests do this.

Hyaline · July 2012

Only ok if the guests also have to provide their own stamps.

WTH? Self-addressed envelopes are for sending away for more information from telemarketers in 1985.

Pokedot · July 2012

I think its a bit tacky. My bridesmaid did this at my shower and I was mortified. It never crossed my mind to say something before hand.

My baby shower was a bit different. My mom threw it and I got all the addresses ready for her. It was much easier and less time consuming for her. I just used address labels and printed them twice then when it came time for the thank you's I just put the address label on them. Problem solved. It also allowed me to cross out who didn't make the shower etc so I had an organized "list" of the people who attended. I would recommend this anyday!

larivierek · July 2012

I'm a lurker here, but I am compelled to emerge from hiding to beg anyone and everyone NOT to have guests do this. The host should be in charge of gathering address and giving them to the mtb. The mtb should hand-write them on the envelopes. period.

I had to do this last year for a friend and I thought it was so so rude--if I were her, I would have been so embarrassed.

If this practice is not tacky or rude, I'm going to start asking my grandma to include her own self-addressed envelope when she sends me a Christmas gift. (GROSS).

VanessaB24 · July 2012

ccam:
Tacky

Yes

I printed out 2 lists of addresses one for me and one for my mom. So i could have it on had for when i write the Thank you notes. I don't see what the big deal with writing addresses on the envelope yourself.

DavidStamps · July 2012

Do you have the labels from when you sent the invites? We just printed two copies and someone will check off and take notes during the gift opening portion.

Your guests are showering you with gifts....writing their names and addresses is the smallest of gestures that you can do to say thanks.

lulling · July 2012

I am probably in the minority here but I have never been to a shower where this was not done. It just seems to be something that is done in our area. Then all the envelopes are thrown into a basket and the mother-to-be pulls out five or six of them and those guests get a prize that is usually valued between 15.00-30.00. That is usually done in place of playing games and giving out prizes as no one in my circle really enjoys shower games.

ELEEW84 · July 2012

I provided my hostess with a word document that has all ofthe names and addresses for my guest list in a label format. I'll be printing my own at home and use those for the thank yous. More convenient for me and I can go ahead and get them labled and ordered before hand, so all I'll have to do is write my personal thank you on the back or inside (havent decided on style yet) after the shower.

BLuvsE · July 2012

sinisforgiven:

I've been to a couple of showers where the hostess asked the guests to write their name and address on the front of envelopes. Clearly it was to help the mom out when it came time for her to send out thank-yous... I always thought it was a nice idea, and would be glad to help the mother-to-be out in any way that I could.

Would any of you find this tacky/lazy? My baby shower is being thrown on Sunday and I was considering asking my hostess to put out the envelopes I've bought... but now I'm second guessing the idea.

Yuck. No. Please don't.

myatala · July 2012

Hyaline:
WTH? Self-addressed envelopes are for sending away for more information from telemarketers in 1985.

I wish some common thread topics could have autoresponses, and this be part of the autoresponse for this "guests address their own thank you envelopes" topic.

rhubarb123 · July 2012

Definitely tacky.

I never fill them out...even when asked. A couple of times I didn't get a thank you...oh well - one more person on my list as "tacky" (since she couldn't be bothered to write my address on an envelope when I didn't do it myself).

luvlss1 · July 2012

It's done quite a bit at showers around here & I just really find it offensive for some reason. I specifically asked my hostesses not to do this for mine. Part of the way to avoid it is to A. Not give them your thank you note envelopes B. Tell them that you have some on order already (if they insist on providing).

PP's had great suggestions, enlist hubby, print labels or DIY. Please just don't ask your guests to do it.

mrsc720 · July 2012

I don't think it is tacky but many people do. I would only do it if it is a very large shower where there are so many that you couldn't possibly do it yourself.

SunAndRain · July 2012

"might as well write my own Ty note"...

"hate to receive a TY note with my hand writting on the envelope"...

To equate addressing an envelope with actually writing a TY note is rediculous. Either you write really generic TY notes or have never received a heartfelt one.

I've attended several showers, including my own, where writing your name on an envelope was part of a prize draw.

This is such a silly thing to get one's panties tied up in a wad over.

That said, OP, if you are not comfortable with it then don't do it. Etiquette is there as a guide but shouldn't trump common sense. If you think it will offend your guets then don't do it.

Liz4444 · July 2012

mimikat22:
I don't think it is tacky but many people do. I would only do it if it is a very large shower where there are so many that you couldn't possibly do it yourself.

That is ridiculous! If your shower is so big that you couldn't possibly write that many people's addresses on envelopes then you should have a smaller shower. I'm guessing that that same person had no problem opening up that many gifts.

daisy662 · July 2012

Liz4444:

mimikat22:
I don't think it is tacky but many people do. I would only do it if it is a very large shower where there are so many that you couldn't possibly do it yourself.

That is ridiculous! If your shower is so big that you couldn't possibly write that many people's addresses on envelopes then you should have a smaller shower. I'm guessing that that same person had no problem opening up that many gifts.

THIS is exactly my thought. I don't particularly care for showers. I think they are usually boring. But, I always go to them because I know it is exciting for the girls getting married or having the baby. I spend time (and money) picking out a gift that I think she would enjoy, and take several hours out of my weekend afternoon to attend. She can at least spend 30 seconds addressing a thank you card for goodness sake. It's rude and lazy.

And...whoever said there is soooooooo much to do to prepare for baby - ya, there isn't that much. I am 31 weeks pregnant, I have an extremely demanding job where I travel on planes and in hotels just about every week. I still managed to have my baby shower thank you's out within a week of the shower.

kelly321 · July 2012

I was asked to do this at my BFF's shower on Saturday. It was the first time I'd ever heard of it (I haven't been to many showers), and my first thought was, "What a good idea! Writing out addresses is such a pain!" So, no, not tacky in my book. It's not like it was the MTB's request. It was the planners who organized it, trying to make things easier for her, and that's just fine in my book.

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