Circumcision.

rocky_star · July 2012

DH and I got in to the discussion about circumcision last night, even though we don't know yet if we're having a boy. So far we cannot decide one way or another..

Opinions? Will you circumcise your DS? Why or why not?

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · July 2012

We did circumcise our DS, and we will if we have another boy as well.

I left the decision up to DH since I don't have a penis. We decided to keep DS the same as DH, since that is what DH (and I, I guess) know, and there would be no "why is yours different than mine" questions.

BrittanyDoesDerby · July 2012

I'm having a girl, but DH and I discussed this before we found out. We mutually decided that we would not have our son circumcised(if we had one). While it does have its benefits in places where cleanliness is an issue, it seems unnecessary to inflict that pain on a newborn in a first world society.

That's just our views, though. DH is circ'd and he had no problem raising a boy who looked different.

NoeliaV · July 2012

We are not (if we are having a boy, that is).

Primarily, we don't think the possible health benefits are good enough to justify what is largely a cosmetic procedure.

celiacmama · July 2012

we did with DS and we will if #2 is a boy.

DH is a surgeon and i left the decision up to him.

Nikjones08 · July 2012

If we have a boy, we're definitely getting him circumcised.

My friend decided against circumcision, but her son ended up getting circumcised about 2 weeks ago. He's 3 1/2 y/o. Mainly because of the cleanliness issues which ended up leading to an infection. He was sore for a few days, but recovered very fast.....thankfully!

BTW - this did not impact our decision we already had our minds made up. Just thought I would provide information on a friend who just went through this.

mrsz2008 · July 2012

DS is circumcised, and any other boys will be too. DH is circumcised and he decided he wanted DS to be.

BabyFS · July 2012

We did with DS. I also let DH make the decision. The procedure didn't take long at all, and DS wasn't crying and didn't seem upset afterwards. I was a little scared of the aftercare, but it was just a matter of squeezing some petroleum jelly over the tip at each diaper change until it healed. It really wasn't a big deal at all. We'll do it again if this one is a boy.

Loo52 · July 2012

There are no significant health/cleanliness benefits. And every body is different so we felt that wasn't much of a factor either. And that just leaves religious beliefs. Don't get me started there. So no, DS is not circumcised. If he wants to get the procedure done when he's older that is his decision. Some circumcised men feel that it's body mutilation and have serious emotional scars over the whole issue. My child doesn't need that.

MrsT1108 · July 2012

MH and I have talked about it and I left it up to him since I do not have a penis. He wants our son (should we have one) to be circumcised.

StefandTodd · July 2012

Our son is not and if we have another son, he will not be either. Though my H is circ'd, he feels as opposed to it as I do and has no issues with looking differently or explaining the differences to his son(s) later in life.

jquirke9881 · July 2012

Honestly I don't know what we would do.

robyn2201 · July 2012

We haven't discussed it yet. If this LO is a boy, I definitely want to do more research on it. I am personally leaning towards not having it done. But obviously it needs to be a mutual decision between DH and I. From what little we have discussed it, I think he will lean towards yes. So we could be in for some disagreeing. Maybe the baby will be a girl and we won't have to go there.

dee12807 · July 2012

DS is circumcised and if we were having another boy, he would be too. H and I had decided we would, but also, I knew someone growing up that got it done at 17 years old. It was horrible! He had issues since he was a kid and finally convinced his parents it 'had to be done.' it took him almost 2 weeks to heal and was in a lot of discomfort. I'm not saying this will happen to everyone, but 4 days of healing as an infant while he won't remember and possibly avoiding future complications vs. Watching my son go through what my friend did... It was an easy choice for me.

acardona1010 · July 2012

If this is a boy we will have him circumcised. DH was not circ'd as a baby and had to have it done at 16 years old. He had a lot of tearing and bleeding issues so he went to the doc and got his mom to sign off (she didn't know what she was signing). He says he would never put any son of ours through what he went through.

nanabanana06 · July 2012

We will be circumsizing if this is a boy. I know people may flame me for this next statement. However, I don't give a crap what the American pediatric association says. If there was absolutely no medical benefit to getting it done then doctors wouldn't use it to treat repeated penile infection. I hear more stories of little boys who had to get circumsized when they are older due to this. Plus no amount of teaching them the proper way to clean it means they actually will when they are left to their own devices. So we are just going to get it done when he is little. Makes life so much easier that way.

kingscross270 · July 2012

acardona1010:
If this is a boy we will have him circumcised. DH was not circ'd as a baby and had to have it done at 16 years old. He had a lot of tearing and bleeding issues so he went to the doc and got his mom to sign off (she didn't know what she was signing). He says he would never put any son of ours through what he went through.

My brother in law had the same issues and had to have it done at age 13.

None the less, DH is circumcised and if this baby is a boy, he will be too.

NoeliaV · July 2012

Nana_Osaki06:
We will be circumsizing if this is a boy. I know people may flame me for this next statement. However, I don't give a crap what the American pediatric association says. If there was absolutely no medical benefit to getting it done then doctors wouldn't use it to treat repeated penile infection. I hear more stories of little boys who had to get circumsized when they are older due to this. Plus no amount of teaching them the proper way to clean it means they actually will when they are left to their own devices. So we are just going to get it done when he is little. Makes life so much easier that way.

I'm not flaming you and I really don't care what parents choose to do re: circumcision, but that statement seems a bit off.

If there's a history of repeat penile infection, then of course a circumcision is medically beneficial... just like, if there's a history of repeat ear infections, then tubes would be medically beneficial. Not every kid is going to have tubes placed just on the off-chance he/she is prone to ear infections, kwim?

Doing a circumcision to prevent penile infection, imo, is like doing a c-section to prevent, I don't know, a vaginal tear?

bingo519 · July 2012

DH and I have a system so far with this baby, of whoever cares more about a particular topic gets his/her way. It's worked out pretty well. I don't know what I would do re: circ. if we have a boy, but DH is adamant about circumcision, so he can "win" this one. He is pro-circumcision.

Gross anecdote: An ex-boyfriend of mine had to get circumcized when he was 20 because he had issues coming. He said it was the worst experience ever.

Edited to clarify pronoun confusion.

peacelove&mama · July 2012

NoeliaV:
We are not (if we are having a boy, that is).

Primarily, we don't think the possible health benefits are good enough to justify what is largely a cosmetic procedure.

This is exactly why I didn't have DS circumcised (I was a single mother at that time). DH is, however, and he wants to have this LO done too. I'm not against circumcision in any way, but I'm having a hard time saying yes because I don't want DS to feel weird or different since he's not done.

SingleMom31 · July 2012

kingscross270:

acardona1010:
If this is a boy we will have him circumcised. DH was not circ'd as a baby and had to have it done at 16 years old. He had a lot of tearing and bleeding issues so he went to the doc and got his mom to sign off (she didn't know what she was signing). He says he would never put any son of ours through what he went through.

My brother in law had the same issues and had to have it done at age 13.

None the less, DH is circumcised and if this baby is a boy, he will be too.

My brother had to have his done at 8 too. It's way harder to have it done when you're older, so if we have a son, he'll be circumcised. Also, my BF is circ'd and I'd want our LO to look like dad.

elisabethb29 · July 2012

We haven't talked about it yet. I'm not sure. Definitely leaning towards having it done though.

LuffJoo · July 2012

NoeliaV:
We are not (if we are having a boy, that is).

Primarily, we don't think the possible health benefits are good enough to justify what is largely a cosmetic procedure.

This is the result of a LOOONG discussion on circumsision for us as well. Circumsized boys have a 1% chance of recurring UTI's, whereas uncircumsized boys only have 1.5% chance of the same thing. I don't think its worth losing potentially upto 80% of the nerve tips, and the potential for less than optimal results for a 0.5% improvement.

To me, the arguments about increased risk of aids and stds is a sex education problem solved by teaching them safe sex, and the increased risk of cancer is something they'll need to worry about closer to 50 or 60, so it seems irrelevant to me now, considering medical advances that may occur over the next 50 years.

Good luck with your decision...its DEFINATELY a hard one, with good points on both sides...deciding which points are the most important to you, is pretty difficult.

PittPurple · July 2012

This is practically the only easy decision we've had to make - I'm Jewish, so if I have a boy, he will be circumsised.

PongosMom · July 2012

We don't know yet what gender our baby will be, but DH and I have already discussed. He is and he wants our son to be. He said it will just be easier. I've met men who were and who weren't and neither seemed very against it.

vlevitt · July 2012

this was also an easy decision for us to make. we're both jewish, so if we have a boy he'll be circumcized at 8 days old.

pamiva1 · July 2012

DS is not and any other little boys we have will not be. I pretty much echo everyone else's reasons why: its getting more common not too so the "looking like everyone in the locker room" argument is out, I don't believe there is a medical need, I had a friend whos DS had severe bleeding issues at 2 days old due to an improperly done circ, and most importantly, I see no reason to permentely modify a body part of my child's for reasons that can all easily be prevented.

nanabanana06 · July 2012

NoeliaV:
Nana_Osaki06:
We will be circumsizing if this is a boy. I know people may flame me for this next statement. However, I don't give a crap what the American pediatric association says. If there was absolutely no medical benefit to getting it done then doctors wouldn't use it to treat repeated penile infection. I hear more stories of little boys who had to get circumsized when they are older due to this. Plus no amount of teaching them the proper way to clean it means they actually will when they are left to their own devices. So we are just going to get it done when he is little. Makes life so much easier that way.

I'm not flaming you and I really don't care what parents choose to do re: circumcision, but that statement seems a bit off.

If there's a history of repeat penile infection, then of course a circumcision is medically beneficial... just like, if there's a history of repeat ear infections, then tubes would be medically beneficial. Not every kid is going to have tubes placed just on the off-chance he/she is prone to ear infections, kwim?

Doing a circumcision to prevent penile infection, imo, is like doing a c-section to prevent, I don't know, a vaginal tear?

Those two aren't even anywhere near close to a comparison. It's called preventing it from happening later in life. Which ultimately I think is better. I would never say to someone get a c section to prevent having your pikachu stitched. One is serious surgery that I personally have gone through. The other is a simple procedure when they are young that they will never remember. It turns into a serious surgery later in life. I would rather do it young than god forbid them needing it when they are older and is more traumatizing.

SchruteBucks · July 2012

Nope, no circumcision happening here. My husband is, but my son isn't and any future sons will not be.

choppinbroccoli22 · July 2012

I am bowing to DH's desire to circumcise, much like a PP's response, because he owns this equipment. I have voiced reservation about it, but I don't know how good of a job I did. Here's why: (kind of TMI, sexual)

I don't know how to tell him without this burning in his mind forever, so I just want to leave it alone, but.... a long time ago, and with my previous BF... well, he was not circumcised. And let's say he was easier than DH... I feel like he was more sensitive because of all those nerve endings in the skin, and the way the skin moved made it a lot harder to hurt him... yeah, you can see why I don't want to get into this with DH. I love DH's equipment, and wouldn't want him any other way. But it makes me just a little bit sad to think that my son's sexual enjoyment might not be as 100% complete because of a cosmetic choice we make.

It's a tough one. I might do some "internet research" and present DH with objective findings that are totally unrelated to my history.

LadyNikon · July 2012

I won't be. Its not medically necessary.

choppinbroccoli22 · July 2012

Ladynikon:
I won't be. Its not medically necessary.

The way you worded that gave me a thought. Does anybody know if insurance covers it or not? STM's?

cjdottie · July 2012

Loo52:
There are no significant health/cleanliness benefits. And every body is different so we felt that wasn't much of a factor either. And that just leaves religious beliefs. Don't get me started there. So no, DS is not circumcised. If he wants to get the procedure done when he's older that is his decision. Some circumcised men feel that it's body mutilation and have serious emotional scars over the whole issue. My child doesn't need that.

I think it is completely a personal decision. But working in the healthcare field I know there are are benefits to it. Although infections can be avoided with care.. There are cases, as stated earlier, that young boys have to do it later in life.. I think it would be worse later in life to do. Also some (rare) infections can lead to other very rare cancers. Because of this I don't think you can say there are absolutely no significant health or cleanliness benefits.

I believe both choices are purely personal, and in that stance there is nothing wrong with everyones personal choice

ObLaDi · July 2012

LuffJoo:
Circumsized boys have a 1% chance of recurring UTI's, whereas uncircumsized boys only have 1.5% chance of the same thing.

This. Know what girls have a 12% chance of? Breast cancer. But I would sure think it was inhumane to remove a baby girl's breast buds.

Needless to say, we will not be circumcising.

LuffJoo · July 2012

choppinbroccoli22:

Ladynikon:
I won't be. Its not medically necessary.

The way you worded that gave me a thought. Does anybody know if insurance covers it or not? STM's?

I'm not a STM, but looked into that as part of my research before deciding not to, and no, most insurance companies do not cover it anymore, because although it has benefits for some boys, it is not necessary for most. (more or less their words, not mine)

mama2many · July 2012

If we have another boy, he'll be circumcised like the others & DH. I've been with each of my boys during their procedure & don't suggest it if you're not medically minded. In hind sight, I think I would rather have left them uncircumcised, but was uneducated with first DS, so I thought it's just "what you do". With the next two, decided to leave everyone the same, and it was important to DH.

SchruteBucks · July 2012

choppinbroccoli22:

I am bowing to DH's desire to circumcise, much like a PP's response, because he owns this equipment. I have voiced reservation about it, but I don't know how good of a job I did. Here's why: (kind of TMI, sexual)

I don't know how to tell him without this burning in his mind forever, so I just want to leave it alone, but.... a long time ago, and with my previous BF... well, he was not circumcised. And let's say he was easier than DH... I feel like he was more sensitive because of all those nerve endings in the skin, and the way the skin moved made it a lot harder to hurt him... yeah, you can see why I don't want to get into this with DH. I love DH's equipment, and wouldn't want him any other way. But it makes me just a little bit sad to think that my son's sexual enjoyment might not be as 100% complete because of a cosmetic choice we make.

It's a tough one. I might do some "internet research" and present DH with objective findings that are totally unrelated to my history.

I would definitely encourage you to do some research if you have reservations. It's a permanent decision that can't be undone. I am extremely thankful that I researched it while I was pregnant and made the choice that I did. It took some work to get my (ex) husband (my 8 year old son's father) to come around while I was doing my research. But after reading some of the stuff I had researched , watching some videos of the function and purpose of the foreskin as well as actual circumcision videos he eventually came around.

Here is a link with a lot of information that you might find helpful.

https://www.thewholenetwork.org/14/post/2012/06/how-do-i-talk-to-my-husband-about-circumcision.html

Good luck with your decision and husband

LaceFace14 · July 2012

We did not and will not for any future boys. We can teach them to clean and I'm not going to remove their tonsils and appendix at birth just because one day later on there might be an issue.

kerribear1717 · July 2012

We did simply because DH is so like father like son.

choppinbroccoli22 · July 2012

SchruteBucks:
choppinbroccoli22:

I am bowing to DH's desire to circumcise, much like a PP's response, because he owns this equipment. I have voiced reservation about it, but I don't know how good of a job I did. Here's why: (kind of TMI, sexual)

I don't know how to tell him without this burning in his mind forever, so I just want to leave it alone, but.... a long time ago, and with my previous BF... well, he was not circumcised. And let's say he was easier than DH... I feel like he was more sensitive because of all those nerve endings in the skin, and the way the skin moved made it a lot harder to hurt him... yeah, you can see why I don't want to get into this with DH. I love DH's equipment, and wouldn't want him any other way. But it makes me just a little bit sad to think that my son's sexual enjoyment might not be as 100% complete because of a cosmetic choice we make.

It's a tough one. I might do some "internet research" and present DH with objective findings that are totally unrelated to my history.

I would definitely encourage you to do some research if you have reservations. It's a permanent decision that can't be undone. I am extremely thankful that I researched it while I was pregnant and made the choice that I did. It took some work to get my (ex) husband (my 8 year old son's father) to come around while I was doing my research. But after reading some of the stuff I had researched , watching some videos of the function and purpose of the foreskin as well as actual circumcision videos he eventually came around.

Here is a link with a lot of information that you might find helpful.

https://www.thewholenetwork.org/14/post/2012/06/how-do-i-talk-to-my-husband-about-circumcision.html

Good luck with your decision and husband

Schrute,

first with the water births, now with this! Coming through again with the helpful links! I thank you again!! :-)

weddedwife · July 2012

DH is circ'd but any sons we have will not be. The whole "matching Dad" argument doesn't hold water, how often are DH and DS gonna compare dicks? It's an easy enough explanation to a little kid why their junk is different. There is no proven medical benefit and cleanliness can and should be taught anyway. The amount of pain and trauma a newborn goes through is tremendous, my job is to protect my son not to allow unnecessary pain to be inflicted upon him.

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