- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
December 2012 Moms
BrittanyDoesDerby
member
Gender Roles.
BrittanyDoesDerby
member
There is a UO on 2nd tri where someone said that they aren't going to raise their girl to be a "tomboy" or their boy to be a "sissy" because that's not how boys/girls should be.
Personally, I'm not going to force my child to something they are not and I firmly believe that sex is not the deciding factor about what children "should" be like.
Thoughts?
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Gender Roles.
I'm a girly-girl, but if my kiddo is a girl who likes to play in dirt, then so be it. I've got bigger fish to fry when it comes to raising our child.
Wow!
Ditto what PP said. I will support my kids however they choose to be, as long as they're happy! And not hurting themselves/others.
Since I don't want to make my LO hate me or him/herself, I absolutely disagreed with what that person said. That sounds harsh, but so did what that person said. And I really, really hate when intolerant people hide behind the Bible/their religion. They really should just say, "I'm intolerant because I'm close-minded and ignorant, and this millenia-year-old text sometimes justifies my intolerant ignorance, too."
I know life will be easier in our society for my baby if he/she does conform to gender norms, but I know I and DH will support our kid as whoever he/she comfortable as.
You can't force a child either way. They're going to be who they're going to be. You are in control (for a short while) of what types of toys they play with and what clothes they wear. For example, my DS is a guy's guy in that his fave colour is blue and he loves cars, trucks and dinos. But he also loves playing with his cousins' "girl" toys and if ever asks for something like that I'd get it for him.
If what I'm carrying now is a girl, she'll likely wear a lot of boy hand me downs from her big bro and will have much access to his cars, trucks and dinos. Will this make her a tomboy? Who knows. Only time will tell. Don't get me wrong, I'll totally buy her dresses and "girl" toys but I won't go overboard. And one thing's for sure, (I'm going to eat a lot of grief for saying this) Disney Princess will NOT be allowed in my house.
*sigh* I'm gonna go now.... :P
That makes me sad to hear.
Oh and I know a 3year old little boy who LOVES dressing up in his princess dress and my son LOVES getting his nails painted.
The "norm" these days aren't what they use to be. I hope by the time our children are in school it'll be much easier than generations before them.
My parents never forced me into or away from anything so it's not something I think about because that was the model I had. My H, on the other hand, was forced to do a lot things he didn't enjoy and had very high expectations set for him, so when I say "do you think our LO should..." his response is always "Let's wait and see what s/he wants to do". He's much more aware of allowing choices than I am b/c it was such a natural way of being raised for me.
ETA: I don't mean to say that I ask "Do you think our LO should only wear blue if it's a boy" more like "Do you think our LO should play soccer/do swim lessons/sign up for ballet" and that's when he responds he doesn't want for him/her to do anything s/he doesn't want.
Well that was aptly titled a UO.
My DD went to a home daycare for the first 2 years, with just boys. The daycare provider had lots of dolls for her to play with etc, but her little boy wanted to play with cars, and DD wanted to play with the little boy, so she played with cars.
Who cares. She also plays with her little mermaid dolls, goes fishing with us, likes to dress up like a princess, and likes to look at bugs.
I'm going to call that well rounded...??
I could be wrong, but I didn't take her post as saying "People who read the bible are ignorant".
Also, if you want to believe everything the bible says, then by all means do. That's your choice. But, make sure you aren't picking and choosing the things that you believe. The bible says a lot of things that aren't followed today.
I'm curious- what things?
You are reading into my comments things that I never said.
1. I never said the Bible has no meaning.
2. I never said I've never read the Bible, because I have, thanks.
Some people who read the Bible are ignorant. The Bible has been used to prop up their own fears/hatred.
The thing that I like about the Bible is that is oftentimes promotes love. However, it also promotes other things that I disagree with. But I am curious, what is happening today "just like it says they would"?
:: sits patiently and waits for answer ::
(Pssst, bingo? I like your response.)
Random thoughts on this:
I grew up a Tomboy and turned out fine!
I think it's sad that little boys playing with little girl toys is considered so much worse than the other way around.
I don't think people are born straight or gay...I think their preference is shaped by a million other factors, but I also think it's something that they can't really do much about - or if there is something they could do to change themselves, I'm not sure why they would want to.
I would honestly be pretty uncomfortable if my son showed a strong preference for girl stuff, but that wouldn't make me love him any less. It's just not what I'm used to.
A girl showing a strong preference for more masculine stuff wouldn't worry me as much for some reason - probably because I was raised with brothers and tended to gravitate towards the 'boy' stuff.
Either way, I would never shame my kid for their gender and I would do everything in my power to make sure they know that I love them no matter what and that I am always in their corner and want them to be happy.
ETA - I read the Bible. People who take every bit of it 100% literally are treating it like a children's book and should avoid adult literature until they are able to understand allegory, symbolism, etc. The Bible should be read with three things in mind - the context of the scripture (people taking things out of context to support their own opinions shows their ignorance), the history going on at the time the scripture was written (the Bible addresses slavery for instance - during that time and place, slavery was the norm. If you were going to speak to the way people lived, you couldn't really leave that out. I like to look at it now as how employers should treat employees.), and the audience it was written to (some parts of the NT are written to Greeks who previously worshipped other gods; the style, etc is catered to them. Other parts are written to Jews; same there - the syle is catered to them. You have to take that into account when figuring out what the writer was trying to convey.)
That was longer than I meant it to be, but it is one of my biggest pet peeves. People from both sides of the 'argument' use the Bible incorrectly all. the. time. Just because you call yourself a Christian doesn't mean you can come up with some jacked up opinion and then go use the Bible to back it up, and just because you disagree with Christianity doesn't mean you can go pick some random verse and call us evil because you neglected to consider the history, context, and audience behind it - things which should be considered when analyzing or interpreting any ancient text.
End Rant.
First Child born
5/5/14 and 6/5/14
11/14
Chemical Pregnancy
9/5/15
Second after severe bleeding for 18 weeks due to subchorionic hematoma
Expecting Number 3 due 10/31/2020
*me too*
You know, whenever there's a disagreement/discussion/argument about the bible, I just feel like yelling out one word "DINOSAURS!!!"
It could be argued that Jesus promoted love. I agree with that statement. However, the Bible ,on the whole, did not promote love. And a lot of modern Christians do not either.
This.
I came into this thread thinking it was about circumcision and started reading about tomboys, and girls wearing fairy wings, and got all sorts of confused. Then I realized I clicked on the wrong thread.
Hope is a dum-dum today!
I can't stand the idea of forcing your child to act a certain way. There is no harm in a boy playing with dolls, nor a girl playing in the mud with trucks. Play is how they explore and learn about the world. Same goes with telling boys not to cry when they get hurt and the like. A few tears over a scraped knee isn't going to make him less of a man when he's older.
My son asked for a few "girl toys" for Christmas. Guess what? He got them! He is very sensitive and loving and cares deeply about other peoples feelings, and I think that's wonderful. Not sissy.
Completely Agree with you OP.
Yes, I will put my son into "boy" clothes, but if he choses a pink shirt at the store, I won't tell him no, and if he wants to join ballet instead of football, I won't stop him.
He can be whoever he wants to be as long as he isn't a hoodlum, and is polite and respectful (ofc among a few other things.)
I also agree with this. Well-rounded is a good way of putting it. I think what you are doing exposing her to many things and letting her decide what she likes is awesome.
Bio
And I'm on my phone and the back button doesn't make it reappear!! Wwwwhhhyyyy!!?
Either way.. Her arguments were lame.
Something happened... I had just posted about how the topic moved from gender roles to politics and religion but its gone now too?
Weird! I've never seen part of a thread disappear like that. Anyway, if anyone else is curious about that crazy (I said it again) chips in the hand part of Obama's plan she was referencing, you can go here to read the misinformation the PP was referencing, and then the truth at the bottom. It was too strange for me to not learn more!
Damn you bump. I wrote out a great response and you ate it before it posted.
My kid will be able to develop into whatever they want to be because they wanted to be that, not because I pushed them one way or another. I was the girl in frilly dresses standing over the toolbox handing my dad tools or fishing. I'm one bad@ss with a drill and clean up nicely for an evening gown. I could careless if my baby girl wanted to be a ballerina or a hockey player, as long as they are happy.
There is a UO on 2nd tri where someone said that they aren't going to raise their girl to be a "tomboy" or their boy to be a "sissy" because that's not how boys/girls should be.
Personally, I'm not going to force my child to something they are not and I firmly believe that sex is not the deciding factor about what children "should" be like.
Thoughts?
I'm a girly-girl, but if my kiddo is a girl who likes to play in dirt, then so be it. I've got bigger fish to fry when it comes to raising our child.
Wow!
Ditto what PP said. I will support my kids however they choose to be, as long as they're happy! And not hurting themselves/others.
Since I don't want to make my LO hate me or him/herself, I absolutely disagreed with what that person said. That sounds harsh, but so did what that person said. And I really, really hate when intolerant people hide behind the Bible/their religion. They really should just say, "I'm intolerant because I'm close-minded and ignorant, and this millenia-year-old text sometimes justifies my intolerant ignorance, too."
I know life will be easier in our society for my baby if he/she does conform to gender norms, but I know I and DH will support our kid as whoever he/she comfortable as.
You can't force a child either way. They're going to be who they're going to be. You are in control (for a short while) of what types of toys they play with and what clothes they wear. For example, my DS is a guy's guy in that his fave colour is blue and he loves cars, trucks and dinos. But he also loves playing with his cousins' "girl" toys and if ever asks for something like that I'd get it for him.
If what I'm carrying now is a girl, she'll likely wear a lot of boy hand me downs from her big bro and will have much access to his cars, trucks and dinos. Will this make her a tomboy? Who knows. Only time will tell. Don't get me wrong, I'll totally buy her dresses and "girl" toys but I won't go overboard. And one thing's for sure, (I'm going to eat a lot of grief for saying this) Disney Princess will NOT be allowed in my house.
*sigh* I'm gonna go now.... :P
That makes me sad to hear.
Oh and I know a 3year old little boy who LOVES dressing up in his princess dress and my son LOVES getting his nails painted.
The "norm" these days aren't what they use to be. I hope by the time our children are in school it'll be much easier than generations before them.
My parents never forced me into or away from anything so it's not something I think about because that was the model I had. My H, on the other hand, was forced to do a lot things he didn't enjoy and had very high expectations set for him, so when I say "do you think our LO should..." his response is always "Let's wait and see what s/he wants to do". He's much more aware of allowing choices than I am b/c it was such a natural way of being raised for me.
ETA: I don't mean to say that I ask "Do you think our LO should only wear blue if it's a boy" more like "Do you think our LO should play soccer/do swim lessons/sign up for ballet" and that's when he responds he doesn't want for him/her to do anything s/he doesn't want.
FYI- you are wrong about the obamacare chip. Just so you know- no mark of the beast just yet. . .
The bottom line is:The law does not require anyone to get anything implantedIt just creates a national registry of a huge of range medical devices from pacemakers to dental implantsThe intent of the registry is to collect statistic on how safe and effective the devices areThat's it.
1. *ridiculous
2. No one insulted you either. They just asked your reasoning behind your opinons.
Bwahaha. You tell 'er.
No one personally attacked you Christine. They questioned your suggestion that we're all half-way to walking around with government mandated microchips implanted in our hands.
Oh, and probably that it was forecast in the bible. But I could be wrong on that point.
Before everyone jumps on my case...actually read up on it, they are working toward making it mandetory. We will just see what happens down the road.