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Parenting
isacdimi10
member
How do YOU make friends?
isacdimi10
member
in Parenting
I've never been the popular tons of friends type.
I literally have no friends right now (unless you count DH) who live outside the magic box. Yes I'm that much of a loser.
I joined the only play group in my area in hopes of at least having something to do. I went to two things and got an email asking me to no longer come because some of the parents felt uncomfortable with my age.
Next year DH is planning on starting nursing school FT. He will go to school M-F and work S&S. I'm getting a little nervous about actually going nuts.
BFP #1 10/28/09 EDD 06/24/10- Miscarriage 11/2/09
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How do YOU make friends?
I think you should email them back and say thank you for helping you to realize that you just dodged a bullet with that group.
I have a hard time making friends IRL. Which is why I'm here so much. The people in my computer are my friends
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
I'll be 21 tomorrow.
It was earlier in the spring I joined so I was 20 when this occured.
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
I don't have time to make friends. Between work and LO, I just don't know when I'd do it.
We have several sets of friends that we have known forever...either college or hs people who happen to have ended up here. Even so, we are lucky if we see any one set of them in any given month.
Also, that group sounds like they suck.
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cb8c4.aspx[/img][/url]
When I stayed at home, I never met anyone. Because of my age (I'm 23), I also had a hard time finding moms IRL to be friends with. Now I find most of my friends in nursing school which I know isn't very helpful for you.
Maybe just do as many activities out of the house as you can, and hope that you hit it off with another mom somewhere.
That is a bunch of BS. It's not like you are 13 trying to sneak into an R rated playgroup.
I can't help much on the making friends thing. I have had a hard time finding friends myself. I have no one to go out with in the evenings when DS is in bed and DH turns back into a gaming loser. Thank goodness for the bump!
That really sucks
Where did you find the group? Maybe look for other groups, or even start your own?
Which means they are jealous you will steal away their husbands. What a bunch of dumb sluts.
I'm super shy so I kind of wait for people to make friends with me
I'm lucky to have joined a running group, and those ladies are all kinds of chatty and now are some of my best friends. Maybe you just had bad luck with that group?
What about story time at the library or something, where other moms might be? Kids have a great knack for making friends themselves, then you're kind of forced to meet their parents by default (that could be good or bad though!)
My BFP Chart
Sorry, your kids can't play with ours cause you are way cuter than we were while pregnant!
It's definitely hard to make friends. I feel for you. I'm old enough to be your mom (39), but I seriously think it's rude that they kicked you out for your age. I think it's fun to hang out with women of all ages. And honestly, someone your age would help keep me young. LOL!
Can you sign up your kids for any toddler-type classes? I met a few of my good friends through the parent-tot tumbling/similar classes through our rec center. And another one through mutual friends. And I'm lucky enough that my next-door neighbor has become a good friend.
The email was actually worded to imply some of the mothers had daughters entering their teenaged years and basically they were afraid if they saw me they would become hors.
"The lack of age difference between you and some of our older children has caused some of the parents to become unsettled. They worry about the type of image this sets for their daughters "
copy pasta from the actual email.
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
I'll be your friend!!
+1
I'm a younger mom, and I definitely wouldn't want to waste 2 seconds with those bitches. Have you heard about MeetUp? I haven't tried it myself, but I was looking into it.
People are assholess. Not all people your age are immature idiots.
I feel like I have no friends other than H. All my friends are busy with their older kids and extra curricular activities. Also H works later in the day than I do, so I can't have him take care of C while I go out with friends on weeknights or attend their kids' sporting activities.
My bff apparently is not one because the only time she has for me is when she needs something (money or material things) or is in between men. I am giving her my maternity jeans and some shirts, C's bottles/sippies/drying rack by dropping it off at her mother's, and will probably include a note to have her let me know when she has time for me when she doesn't need money/things, and to have a nice life.
I am not an easy person to get along with. How I am on TB is for the most part how I am IRL.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
<a href
That email was a super snatchy thing to do. I'm very sorry.
Can you volunteer? I've made some good friends through volunteering.
So they did you a huge favor then. What a shittty group of little girls. I'm in PA too, but all the way up in Mckean County. Look for bumpies in your area. I think that most of us are the same in the fact that we are more reserved and shy IRL.
"The lack of age difference between you and some of our older children has caused some of the parents to become unsettled. They worry about the type of image this sets for their daughters "
copy pasta from the actual email.
WTF??? Did you reply? I'd have some words about the image THEY are setting for their kids being unaccepting of those reaching out for support? HORS.
DH and I are planning to get a membership with the Y this winter for the gym and they have a ton of tumbling classes and mommy and me music. I'll sign up for them as well, they don't cost a lot.
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
Wow what a nasty email.
You're better off without people like that.
I work PT as a fitness instructor so I've made friends with the other ladies that work at the gym and a couple clients as well. I have friends from church. We have a soccer league we play in (I don't currently since I've been pregnant/had a baby the past year). With DD1 being in pre-school and making friends I've gotten to know some other parents of kids in her class. We also live in a neighborhood with a lot of young families so there are a lot of people around our age or a little older that are fun to hang out with and our kids play together.
DH is also really good at making friends so I mooch off of him and get to know the wives or girlfriends of his new friends and co-workers.
I know it's hard with kids but I think getting involved in the community somehow is a good way. Once your kids are in school if you can volunteer in their classrooms or coach their sports/activities, it's a nice way to meet other parents.
"The lack of age difference between you and some of our older children has caused some of the parents to become unsettled. They worry about the type of image this sets for their daughters "
Oh wow. That is just so wrong. I am so sorry. How exactly did you respond?
I kind of crawled backwards into my proverbial shell and responded with "I understand and apologize, I never intended to make anyone uncomfortable."
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Wait, you apologized to them because they are narrowminded jealous biitches? Screw that. They should apologize to you for assuming that you are a man-stealing twit.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
<a href
WFT, holy jesus is right. what a bunch of uptight biotches.
did you reply?
I have a really hard time making friends. I found a meetup group that has local people/parents/moms in it and I'm - slowly - making friends there. They have a message board that is not at all like this one - very simple asking of advice and WWYD things, or local tips/stores/places to go. It allowed me to "talk" to them before actually meeting them, and then when we meet it's like we kinda know eachother.
Prekiddo I met people through hobbies, but I haven't gotten back into that yet.
Dear biitches,
I would like to thank you for your kindly worded email. It made me realize that I would rather be a part of a community that will appreciate who I am than try to make me feel guilty or unacceptable.
You should feel very proud of yourselves for teaching your children that it is acceptable to reject other people because of their age or appearance. That should make their experience in college just that much more memorable.
Please extend my warmest regards to the other ladies in the group. May God have mercy on their souls.
XOXOX,
isa
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
ETA:I hope my 'take you under their wing' comment doesn't come off the wrong way. I am just thinking about how I would act around a young mom. I am 30 and only have 1 kid, I just imagine it would be hard to be 20-21 and have 2-3 kids, and I would want to be that person's friend.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
Also, I read their email as "We are insecure. You are young and have your shiit together. You are a threat to us. Please leave."
Snatches.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
I have friends at the different jobs I do. I teach dance so I work different programs throughout the year but I don't really keep in touch in the off seasons. I never meet people outside of work. I'm young too and don't really know a lot of people my age who are married or have kids.
I think the people I get along with best are our friends who are couples and are more settled down. I dont have any ideas but maybe you could try to meet other couples. That way you and YH can make new friends together and maybe it will be less intimidating.
That email was extremely rude and evidence that you are far better off not associating with them anyway. They don't sound like company worth keeping.
That being said, I have formed friendships with other moms through classes I have DD in. She goes twice a week to a local center that has "mom and me" type classes and I talk with the other parents there. It isn't a "mom group" so perhaps that type of an environment would be better? It is much more casual that way.
The gym suggestions are great, or if you have any hobbies perhaps you could join a group pertaining to that? For instance, if you like photography maybe a local group for photographers? If you like baking, some craft stores offer classes.
Even somewhere like the park might work. It is sometimes fairly easy to strike up a conversation with someone while pushing kids on the swing. You never know you might meet someone great!
I think they did you a favor because that doesn't sound like people you'd want to hang with.
As an adult it seems harder to make friends. Especially once you have children. The only friend I really hang out with is a work friend.
This! *** them.
I'm painfully awkward IRL and don't really have that many friends. I've met some people by taking a baby/mom yoga class which has been nice.
What about ECFE? Does your school district provide these classes? I hear they are a great place to meet people.
Also meetup.com, you could start your own group, I'm sure there are other moms looking for people to meet.
That is INSANE. I can't believe that. How horrible. All us old bi*ches aren't like that! But I won't join a group because of stuff like what you dealt w/. I don't have any friends really either. I was in NY and all my friends were single & now I am in Orlando which I just moved to. I have mom friends in my home town but they are 1.5 hours away. I am 32 & I like people younger than me!! Honestly I'd probably rather hang w/ you. I feel like lots of moms my age or older take themselves too seriously.
omg, I'm sorry they were such biiitches to you. You don't deserve that at all.
I don't have any suggestions though. My awkwardness and shyness prevent me from getting close to people.
You joining the Y sounds like a great place to start.