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2nd Trimester
dpraseutsinh
member
how soon should i send out baby shower invites?
dpraseutsinh
member
i know that everyone has their own busy lives, but i wanted to make sure i gave them enough time to rsvp to my baby shower. it's going to be held on august 18 and i wanted to know how soon i should send out the invites? i was thinking beginning of july, to give them a month head's up so they can call off work or figure things out. what do y'all think?
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Re: how soon should i send out baby shower invites?
I think beginning of July gives folks enough time to reply, and I would add an email address for replies for those more likely to send an email than snail mail.
it's considered tacky to throw yourself a party to receive gifts.
I think it's just that the whole purpose of a shower is to give gifts to the mom-to-be, so if you are officially hosting your own shower it looks like you are sending out invites asking people to come give you gifts. If your aunts are the hosts then it looks like the aunts are asking people who love you to come shower you with gifts...subtle nuance, but having them RSVP to the aunts is a little more appropriate and an e-mail address is always good to include.
...baby #3 is here...
Because it makes you appear gift grabby... "Oh, hai, everyone come over and give me presents."
Side note: I love that I've been able to use that gif twice today... although the reasoning makes me sadsies.
You should not send out the invites. Your aunts should send them out 3-4 wks in advance.
You shouldn't host your own gift giving event.
I would say the rules go by culture, so if it's the norm in your culture then there's obviously nothing wrong with it
Being involved and throwing your own are two completely different things.
Please define the difference. Becuase other than not having your own name as the RSVP you could coordinate a whole shower and make it look like your mom, aunts, sisters did the whole darn thing.
Yeah...you shouldn't be hosting your own shower. Leave your name off, even if you send out the invites. Have people RSVP to one of your aunts, not to you.
Rude is rude in any culture, you don't get a pass for being Asian.
Yeah, you could. The difference is the perception. You could plan the whole thing, and if no one knows, then at least you don't come off looking tacky and greedy -- no one will know the truth.
This could be a cultural thing, of course, but in Western culture, we have certain rules of etiquette, and not throwing yourself a shower is one of those rules -- much like not including registry information in your wedding invitations. Did you do that too?
I'm sorry. You must have mistaken me for one of those more "experienced" posters who like to be-little others and make rude, snide comments. My intention in replying to the original post was to give the woman a break from the bashing that posters so often recieve on these boards, not to get into an ethical squabble over the right and wrong way to have a baby shower.
Not saying one should do it. Just that a simple question from another mother to be about sending out invites, doesnt mean she's throwing herself a shower, and doesnt deserve all the harshness.
Its only tacky depending on the crowd. Im only 13 weeks and people are asking when my baby shower is because they want an invite (THAT is tacky) send ur own invites and who cares LoL. Make sure u register at expensive places too!! LOL!!!
They should be sent out around a month in advance - give or take a few days.
But they really should be sent by someone else - or even if you foot the cost of the stamps, you should NOT be the rsvp on there. The pp are right - there is a BIG difference between being involved and co-hosting, or hosting.
I have no idea what's going on with my shower, and I haven't been asked for anything - not even a list of addresses. It would be really rude and gift-grabby of me to presume that one is being thrown and hand the list over to my mom or sister, even if I am 95% sure they are in the middle of planning it. I don't even know the date (I am assuming that DH does - my mom and grandmother apparently got his new work email address before I did, leading me to believe they are trying to surprise me for all of it).
::::::face palm:::::::
And make sure you dictate exactly what people buy you, exactly when gifts are to be shipped to you, and exactly how the gifts should be wrapped. LOL!!!!!!!!
:::screams "TACKY MORONS!" at the computer:::
I would just hand the reigns off to your aunts and let them do everything. Since it's a "gift giving" event, it just looks a little "gift grabby" if you co-host it. It would kind of be like hosting your own birthday party..."come give me presents and buy me a cake to celebrate me!"
My mother, MIL, and my mom's best friend threw my shower and they wouldn't even tell me what flavor the cake was, lol. My "involvement" was giving a list of friends and saying to my mom "I loved that pineapple punch you made once, if you wanted to make that for the shower."
All the mom-to-be is really supposed to do is just show up. No matter how much involvement you have, it'll be fun and I'm sure your aunt's would do a great job.
Please never attempt to give anyone any advice ever again.
I agree with the OP. Its really not that deep and if people feel some type away about you sending out your own invitations they always have the option of just not coming. I think 3-4 weeks is enough time to RSVP.
I'm a designer, so I made my own invitations, had them printed and bought envelopes to match. Invitations are a specialty of mine. Therefore, my mom thought I'd enjoy doing it and felt funny having anyone else do it. I even printed the envelopes, put stamps on them and my husband took them to the post office this morning. Of course, my mom reimbursed me for all the costs and I used her address as the return address on the envelopes and gave her phone number and email for RSVPs. So, I think it's great to be involved and to help plan it, but I do think it's a bit tacky for it to appear as if you're throwing it yourself.
Anyway, ours were mailed today and my shower is 7/28.
This. I lol'd.
I just hate the word etiquette!!! Who really gives $h!t what is good or bad etiquette? As long as you are not being rude, inconsiderate or offensive to YOUR friends and family... then who gives a crap!?!? Sorry. This drives me crazy..... I could care less what people think of in terms of etiquette... I also wear white on during and after labor day or whichever holiday that is. Personally, I don't allow others to dictate how I live my life or the rules in which I follow.... I don't think you should have to either OP.
The fact of the matter is, you don't know how you are coming off to YOUR friends and family because they likely have more class than you (apparently). Your friends and family are not going to come up and say "Wow, you're being a selfish little twit, aren't you?". So why not err on the side of caution and follow what is considered the standard advice and not host your own baby charity fundraiser.
Not directed at anyone in particular, but I honestly don't wonder why no one is stepping up to the plate and offering a shower for the people who are so incredibly entitled not to understand why throwing your own shower is completely tacky. Odds are, all of these people who "don't care about etiquette" (aka, friends and family) actually do, because you've offended them to the point where they don't want to spend the time, energy and money on someone as completely selfish and class-less as the people crowing about how "Nobody cares about etiquette anymore!"
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Oh, I call BS.
Did the OP say she was hosting her own baby shower? If she did, I will admit that missed that. All she asked was how much time the invites need to go out in advance. My BFF is hosting and planning my baby shower (awesome for you to assume otherwise). I intend on sending out the invites myself to friends and family for her to take some of strain off as she lives a very full life. Unless I missed something, how do you not know this isn't a similar situation? Maybe she is maybe she isn't. Regardless, why do you care? What skin off your back is it? Is she really offending your delicate nature if she is? You aren't getting an invite - so why get all worked up about it?
Do I think it is perhaps not in the best of taste to host your own baby shower? Yes. To me, that falls under the rude, inconsiderate or offensive mark I mentioned before. Do I care if someone else do it? Hell.No. I don't worry about what other people do or how they live their life. That is for them to decide. Do I think it is poor etiquette to send out your own invites to a shower someone else is planning and hosting? Who knows? Who cares! My friends and family love me for who I am- not the social etiquette I decide or don't decide to acknowledge.
On another note, thanks for calling me classless without knowing a damn thing about where I am coming from. You jumped the gun wayyy to fast on that one... and for that, you can shove it... My friends and family know exactly where I am coming from or again, or they wouldn't be my friends and family... In addition, if any of them were to call me a twit - it the same standard would apply. In our circle, we don't speak that way to the one's we care about.
So to conclude,,,, shove off...
You obviously didn't read the thread...the whole issue is about her hosting her own shower (which yes, she did admit to doing). Go away, you're no fun.
No. You are absolutely right. I did not read the whole post. My message still stays the same however. Why do you all care so much what other people (whom you do nor will never know IRL) do in their lives? Who gives a $hit! It really does not effect your life.....
i'm sorry, but when did try to use being asian as an excuse? i was just stating that most people in MY family expect me to throw a shower anyway, and nobody seems to really care who throws it. on top of that, all i asked was about my dang invites and now i'm getting a whole discussion on whether i should plan my own shower or not. whether it be tacky or not, if i really wanted to plan my own shower then i don't think anyone would stop me. and since it's such a hot topic, i am NOT planning my own shower, my two aunts are planning the majority and i am simply helping because i don't feel right just sitting back and relaxing while they do all the work and spend money on me. goodness gracious, if i knew this question was going to turn into a huge debate, i would've just not have asked.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Best gif in the universe.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I am sometimes amazed at the cattiness in these forums, we are full grown adults here, don't be so judgemental. It's perfectly fine to throw your own party, do whatever you wish!!! People are too quick to judge! Who is going to throw my shower? My deceased mother? her non-existent sisters? My invisible friends who have disappeared lately? Jeez people. relax, we all know gift giving is pretty muc the main event of a shower, AND so do the guests!
Yes, we are all full grown adults, which means anyone can give their opinion. If the OP (or you, or anyone else, for that matter) are not thick skinned enough to handle someone telling you what you are doing is tacky, then maybe you shouldn't post on a public forum. Pretty simple. I shouldn't have to hold back my opinion just because you deem it judgmental.