how soon should i send out baby shower invites?

roxyttandme · June 2012

BallSox:
Oh and to answer your other question, it's really no skin off my back, however, being considerate of others, I thought she'd like to know that she may be off-putting to other people. I also warn people if they have spinach in their teeth, their zipper is down, they've started their period and have bled through their pants and/or they have toilet paper trailing from their shoe. If they look like a fool, is it really any difference to me? Not really, but unlike some people who don't want to potentially make someone uncomfortable at the expense of them being made a fool of all day long, I'd rather warn a person, making them aware. If they choose to walk around green tooth, red butt, open-flyed and trailing the Charmin, then they are just an idiot, I suppose. I've done my duty in warning them, it's up to them to make the corrections if they care.

No, you are right. You are a hero....

roxyttandme · June 2012

BallSox:
roxyttandme:
MandJS:
BallSox:
roxyttandme:
I just hate the word etiquette!!! Who really gives $h!t what is good or bad etiquette? As long as you are not being rude, inconsiderate or offensive to YOUR friends and family... then who gives a crap!?!? Sorry. This drives me crazy..... I could care less what people think of in terms of etiquette... I also wear white on during and after labor day or whichever holiday that is. Personally, I don't allow others to dictate how I live my life or the rules in which I follow.... I don't think you should have to either OP.
The fact of the matter is, you don't know how you are coming off to YOUR friends and family because they likely have more class than you (apparently). Your friends and family are not going to come up and say "Wow, you're being a selfish little twit, aren't you?". So why not err on the side of caution and follow what is considered the standard advice and not host your own baby charity fundraiser.

Not directed at anyone in particular, but I honestly don't wonder why no one is stepping up to the plate and offering a shower for the people who are so incredibly entitled not to understand why throwing your own shower is completely tacky. Odds are, all of these people who "don't care about etiquette" (aka, friends and family) actually do, because you've offended them to the point where they don't want to spend the time, energy and money on someone as completely selfish and class-less as the people crowing about how "Nobody cares about etiquette anymore!"
Ballsox is wise.
Oh, I call BS.
Did the OP say she was hosting her own baby shower? If she did, I will admit that missed that. All she asked was how much time the invites need to go out in advance. My BFF is hosting and planning my baby shower (awesome for you to assume otherwise). I intend on sending out the invites myself to friends and family for her to take some of strain off as she lives a very full life. Unless I missed something, how do you not know this isn't a similar situation? Maybe she is maybe she isn't. Regardless, why do you care? What skin off your back is it? Is she really offending your delicate nature if she is? You aren't getting an invite - so why get all worked up about it?
Do I think it is perhaps not in the best of taste to host your own baby shower? Yes. To me, that falls under the rude, inconsiderate or offensive mark I mentioned before. Do I care if someone else do it? Hell.No. I don't worry about what other people do or how they live their life. That is for them to decide. Do I think it is poor etiquette to send out your own invites to a shower someone else is planning and hosting? Who knows? Who cares! My friends and family love me for who I am- not the social etiquette I decide or don't decide to acknowledge.
On another note, thanks for calling me classless without knowing a damn thing about where I am coming from. You jumped the gun wayyy to fast on that one... and for that, you can shove it... My friends and family know exactly where I am coming from or again, or they wouldn't be my friends and family... In addition, if any of them were to call me a twit - it the same standard would apply. In our circle, we don't speak that way to the one's we care about.
So to conclude,,,, shove off...
Class: Informal . elegance, grace, or dignity, as in dress and behavior: He may be a slob, but his brother has real class.

I was referring to your "I don't give a 'crap' about what people think" rant, actually. Someone with class, traditionally, would actually care how they came across to people they care about. I referred to the fact that no one has pointed out to your face what they are very likely thinking (assuming you act/talk like that to their face) as having more class.

Seriously, I don't see how anyone (literally anyone, not just referring to you) can't grasp how hosting/throwing your own party in which the traditional sole purpose is to solicit gifts/money isn't tacky. You are literally saying "Hey guys, come over here, give me lots of attention for 2 hours and bring me money and presents! It's a ME party! WAHOO!" How that doesn't make you cringe, I don't know.

I will NEVER allow others views to define my self worth. I have never cared if I met others definition of etiquette and never will. If you actually read my post, you would have seen I agreed that throwing yourself a babyshower is tacky. Saying, I could give a crap what other people do in their lives.... that is the point. You on the other hand started throwing out accusations of my lack of class, grace and dignity. Again, I could give a crap....

kcave21 · June 2012

WHO GIVES A *** WHAT PPL THINK!!!! I AM DOING MINE AS WELL!! A lot of ppl have a lot of different situations going on in their lives and not everyone has time or money to help you!!! My mother is paying for the place and ppl are chipping in but other than that I am doing it on my own

so PLAN AWAY GIRL PLAN AWAY!!!

dpraseutsinh · June 2012

lol to all these comments. yeah, i just wanted to know how soon the invites should be sent out....... i just kept that short and simple. only like, 3 people gave me an actual answer. everyone else is STILL debating, goodness.

Cranang · June 2012

morethancottoncandy:
christinaj324:

dpraseutsinh:
i don't understand why it's so tacky....

Its only tacky depending on the crowd. Im only 13 weeks and people are asking when my baby shower is because they want an invite (THAT is tacky) send ur own invites and who cares LoL. Make sure u register at expensive places too!! LOL!!!

::::::face palm:::::::

Agreed. What a twit.

Cranang · June 2012

roxyttandme:
cwm11985:
roxyttandme:
MandJS:
BallSox:
roxyttandme:

I just hate the word etiquette!!! Who really gives $h!t what is good or bad etiquette? As long as you are not being rude, inconsiderate or offensive to YOUR friends and family... then who gives a crap!?!? Sorry. This drives me crazy..... I could care less what people think of in terms of etiquette... I also wear white on during and after labor day or whichever holiday that is. Personally, I don't allow others to dictate how I live my life or the rules in which I follow.... I don't think you should have to either OP.

The fact of the matter is, you don't know how you are coming off to YOUR friends and family because they likely have more class than you (apparently). Your friends and family are not going to come up and say "Wow, you're being a selfish little twit, aren't you?". So why not err on the side of caution and follow what is considered the standard advice and not host your own baby charity fundraiser.

Not directed at anyone in particular, but I honestly don't wonder why no one is stepping up to the plate and offering a shower for the people who are so incredibly entitled not to understand why throwing your own shower is completely tacky. Odds are, all of these people who "don't care about etiquette" (aka, friends and family) actually do, because you've offended them to the point where they don't want to spend the time, energy and money on someone as completely selfish and class-less as the people crowing about how "Nobody cares about etiquette anymore!"

Ballsox is wise.

Oh, I call BS.

Did the OP say she was hosting her own baby shower? If she did, I will admit that missed that. All she asked was how much time the invites need to go out in advance. My BFF is hosting and planning my baby shower (awesome for you to assume otherwise). I intend on sending out the invites myself to friends and family for her to take some of strain off as she lives a very full life. Unless I missed something, how do you not know this isn't a similar situation? Maybe she is maybe she isn't. Regardless, why do you care? What skin off your back is it? Is she really offending your delicate nature if she is? You aren't getting an invite - so why get all worked up about it?

Do I think it is perhaps not in the best of taste to host your own baby shower? Yes. To me, that falls under the rude, inconsiderate or offensive mark I mentioned before. Do I care if someone else do it? Hell.No. I don't worry about what other people do or how they live their life. That is for them to decide. Do I think it is poor etiquette to send out your own invites to a shower someone else is planning and hosting? Who knows? Who cares! My friends and family love me for who I am- not the social etiquette I decide or don't decide to acknowledge.

On another note, thanks for calling me classless without knowing a damn thing about where I am coming from. You jumped the gun wayyy to fast on that one... and for that, you can shove it... My friends and family know exactly where I am coming from or again, or they wouldn't be my friends and family... In addition, if any of them were to call me a twit - it the same standard would apply. In our circle, we don't speak that way to the one's we care about.

So to conclude,,,, shove off...

You obviously didn't read the thread...the whole issue is about her hosting her own shower (which yes, she did admit to doing). Go away, you're no fun.

No. You are absolutely right. I did not read the whole post. My message still stays the same however. Why do you all care so much what other people (whom you do nor will never know IRL) do in their lives? Who gives a $hit! It really does not effect your life.....

This whole damn board is giving advice to other people when it doesn't affect my life! Have you heard of the FF/BF debate? Why would someone else care what I do or do not do with my boobs? Formula isn't going to kill a baby. They thrive on formula too. So why do women give sh!t to each other over that. I mean, it certainly doesn't affect your life! The fact that you're so upset that people give this advice about baby showers disproves your point! The fact that we do this doesn't affect you IRL, but boy you sure are upset over it.

Your logic is a big FAIL.

Cranang · June 2012

ICarriedAWatermelon:
roxyttandme:

MandJS:
Generally, about 3 weeks is more than sufficient. But also, it's considered poor etiquette to host your own shower. Are you just assisting by sending out invites, or are you actually hosting your own? Because if the latter, I'd reconsider...

I just hate the word etiquette!!! Who really gives $h!t what is good or bad etiquette? As long as you are not being rude, inconsiderate or offensive to YOUR friends and family... then who gives a crap!?!? Sorry. This drives me crazy..... I could care less what people think of in terms of etiquette... I also wear white on during and after labor day or whichever holiday that is. Personally, I don't allow others to dictate how I live my life or the rules in which I follow.... I don't think you should have to either OP.

Is that not the definition of etiquette?

FTW!!!!!!!!

g8trkim · June 2012

I would say about 4 weeks.

BallSox · June 2012

If there is no one close enough to throw you a shower, pray tell, who are you inviting?

vanessaran · June 2012

I'd send them out as soon as possible! People are so busy in summer and go on vacation. I almost feel as though we should have sent out save--the-dates, lol! Mine is going to be Aug. 5th, and I feel so behind, not having gotten them out yet!

hmontty · June 2012

roxyttandme:
MandJS:
Generally, about 3 weeks is more than sufficient. But also, it's considered poor etiquette to host your own shower. Are you just assisting by sending out invites, or are you actually hosting your own? Because if the latter, I'd reconsider...
I just hate the word etiquette!!! Who really gives $h!t what is good or bad etiquette? As long as you are not being rude, inconsiderate or offensive to YOUR friends and family... then who gives a crap!?!? Sorry. This drives me crazy..... I could care less what people think of in terms of etiquette... I also wear white on during and after labor day or whichever holiday that is. Personally, I don't allow others to dictate how I live my life or the rules in which I follow.... I don't think you should have to either OP.

But...being rude and inconsiderate is defined by cultural norms, i.e., etiquette. Try again.