Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: perfect age to get married?
I got married at 31, DH 32. At the time I was all, "I'm so old. blah blah blah". In retrospect, it was the perfect timing for US.
I don't think I'd ever tell someone else what I think "a good age" to get married is. It is different for everyone.
I married at 34. My H was 38. It was the first marriage for both of us. I think 28/29 is a great age. I waited a bit long, I think. I want my kids to go to school and enjoy the single life for a bit. I also want my girls to feel confident that they know that they can take care of themselves if something were to go wrong in their marriage.
I got married at 28 and I thought it was great for me. If anything, I might have just gotten married 1 year sooner so that I could have had a kid before 30 and one right after. Studies show the closer to 30 you are when you get married, the better chance you have of it lasting.
As for DD, I dont think I'll tell her the right age. I think it depends on the 2 people involved. I'll also tell her to make sure she's ready because marriage is not easy.
ETA--getting married to my DH at 27 (rather than 28) was not really possible bc we got engaged on our 1 year anniversary. So when I say a year sooner, I mean in a perfect world I would have met DH a year sooner.
BLOG: The Quinntessential Mommy
ooh, I hope twatley answers!
I got married at 20 [DH was 26] and I feel like it was the right age for ME. Probably not for most people, but DH and I are about to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary and our marriage is still doing good. I do wish that we had waited longer to have kids though..I am 25 and about to have my 3rd baby and I feel too young. It would have been nice to have more "just us" time with DH, but now we have to wait 18 years =P
ETA: I might have reservations about my girls getting married as young as I did..I think closer to 25 would be a better age. It really depends on the person and their partner though..I think that because DH was older than me, it seemed "more okay" to get married at 20.
DD2 October 2010
DS September 2012
I got married at 24 (DH was 23). It worked for us. We were dating for about 4 years before we were married, and were married nearly 7 years before our daughter was born. (Our choice) Because of that, even though we did get married young, we were emotionally ready and mature enough to have a child when we did.
I think if my daughter wants to get married young, I wouldn't be opposed to it--but I would suggest to be married for a few years before planning to have a child. That is just me though.
I got married at 19. In retrospect it was too young. We are still happily married 4 years later, but it wasn't easy. We have gone through some struggles and we didn't start off with a strong foundation. If we didn't have the kids we might have thrown the towel in due to sheer immaturity. But having gone through everything we are stronger now.
Another aspect is that I am doing everything completely backwards. I got pregnant, then married, and now I'm going to nursing school. It is HARD. I don't regret my babies at all, the give me the motivation to finish.
So to answer your question, I will encourage my kids to wait and try not to sound like a hypocrite to them. If it's true love waiting isn't going to make it go away. And it would have been nice to have some time just being together as a couple without kiddos involved. Again, not that I regret them.
I got married at 27. I think it was just right! I had DS at 29 and wouldn't change a thing!
If DS is thinking about marriage much before 25, I will try to encourage him to wait just a little bit, but in the end, it's his decision.
My BFP Chart
I was 18, DH was 19.
Honestly. I think for 90% of people like 25+ is the right age to get married.
DH and I are both spectacularly different from our friends. We get along better with the Late 20s/early 30s crowd so much better than people our own age. I have had friends get married and my first response is to roll my eyes and go "Pft yeah right"
What will I tell my kids? To marry when their heart says its right. Now if I see them planning to go into an eyeroll marriage I will probably try to say something nicely but all in all its their life.
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
I was 32. I am happy that I waited, but I do think that 29/ 30 is the ideal age to get married.
Being from the NYC area, it is pretty common for women to not marry until they are into their 30s.
This is my siggy. Love it.
I got married at 20.
Both of us partied pretty hard when we were in our teens and discovered we prefer to party hard together, so why not get hitched and party hard together forever?
Good for you Cootie. GL to you sweet girl. : )
I was 26. DH was 33. We're about to celebrate our 9th anniversary.
I don't think there is a perfect age. I wouldn't have been ready before my mid-20s, but my parents got married when my mother was 18 and my father 21. They're about to celebrate anniversary #38.
I hope Nora will choose to finish her education, experience some of the world, and figure out who/what she wants to be before settling down. I will try to instill that in her, but if she is ready to get married at 22, I doubt I will try to stop her unless her SO is a complete and obvious douche.
You have an edge actually. You will still be young when you get them out of the house and be able to enjoy your grandchildren. I pray for the opportunity to have grand kids.
LOL-shut it. This is a very.serious.conversation. Damn you for making light of it.
I have a chronic inability to be serious.
i bet there's as 12 step group.
This is exactly what I hope for for my daughter.
I want to add: No one in my family thought I was/we were too young.
I asked my mother on our 2nd anniversary (May 31) why she let me get married young. Her response was (I copy/paste from the FB chat).
"I didn't let you do anything. When you were young you got it in your mind that you would never get married and maybe have one kid. You carried that straight into your teens, boyfriends were just for fun. Then the night Carl asked for our permission to propose I thought "Let the boy find out what he's dealing with" and gave him my blessing. When you called to say you were engaged I realized there was something special about that man because he made you believe in marriage."
Her response made me cry lol so I saved it on my external hard drive.
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
I was 26 and DH was 28. I thought it was a good time for us. We did everything out of order, had DS1 first and got married later. I'm not sure that I think there is a perfect age, but I'd probably want my kids to be established in a career before they tied the knot.
Trying to continue my education has been difficult. We're at the point that I'm SAH now until we're done having children.
Love you girls....thank you for the response.
THAT'S MY ANSWER. Stop looking at my paper.
My Blog
Well, I got married at age 29, dh was 31. But, we were together since I was 21 and DH was 23.
ETA: I think a good age to marry is in your 20's...maybe early 30's. But it doesn't mean it's not perfect if the person is 50 either...as long as the person you are marrying is perfect for you I guess that's all that matters
Nuff said.
I got married at 22 and DH was 25. I look back now and think how young we were! Even now when I hear about people getting married who are in their early 20's, I think how young that is. My cousin got married a few years ago at 23 and I told my mom that she's so young. She reminded me I was a year younger... lol!
I don't know about a perfect age. I supposed I'd say 27-28, give you time to be young, establish a career or finish school, get married and spend time with your spouse before starting a family. DH and I have been married now for almost 10 years, and it's been amazing, but we did struggle a little bit a few years into our marriage. I think we're lucky that we grew up together and continued to have a lot of fun together and enough simliar interests but also independence. I could see where maybe 3-4 years into the marriage we really could have gone our separate ways if we didn't stay really connected.
oh, you guys just make me sad...
I'm only 21, and I know it will be years before I can even consider marriage, but it still hurts to think that I'll be alone for so much longer.
..and that DS will be at least 6, maybe more before I'm comfortable with it.
I was 19, DH was 25. For us, this WAS the perfect time for us to get married. A lot happened to us in our first 2 years of marriage that would've made a lot of people throw in the towel, but I feel it brought us closer.
I think I'll encourage my kids to finish college/get started on a career path (with or without finishing school/and this could also be in the artistic world, not just corporate) before they get married. I, however, did not do this, because my DH was going to be moving away and we just knew we were ready. Sometimes I'm sad I hadn't stayed in/at school and feel like I missed out on some of those years, but I wouldn't trade a day with my DH for anything. I've never really gotten along with anyone my age, anyway. Usually 6+ years older than I is the group of people I hang out with.
/end rant.
I got married 4 months shy of my 25th birthday. I think it was a good age.
I hope that my children get married around the same time (or even older). I'd like to see them finish college (or trade school) and get established in their career/on their own financially before they get married/buy a house/have kids.