perfect age to get married?

ougrad1

I Heart the 80's post got me thinking.   What age did you get married and in retrospect, what age do you think is the perfect age to get married?  What age will you tell your kiddos is a good age if they ask?

 

j_luvs_r

I got married at 31, DH 32.  At the time I was all, "I'm so old.  blah blah blah".  In retrospect, it was the perfect timing for US. 

I don't think I'd ever tell someone else what I think "a good age" to get married is.  It is different for everyone. 

 

ougrad1

I married at 34.  My H was 38.   It was the first marriage for both of us.  I think 28/29 is a great age.   I waited a bit long, I think.   I want my kids to go to school and enjoy the single life for a bit.  I also want my girls to feel confident that they know that they can take care of themselves if something were to go wrong in their marriage.

 

MrsMommyQ

I got married at 28 and I thought it was great for me. If anything, I might have just gotten married 1 year sooner so that I could have had a kid before 30 and one right after. Studies show the closer to 30 you are when you get married, the better chance you have of it lasting.

As for DD, I dont think I'll tell her the right age. I think it depends on the 2 people involved. I'll also tell her to make sure she's ready because marriage is not easy.

ETA--getting married to my DH at 27 (rather than 28) was not really possible bc we got engaged on our 1 year anniversary. So when I say a year sooner, I mean in a perfect world I would have met DH a year sooner. 

Heather R

ooh, I hope twatley answers!

 

CootieQueen170

I'm not married and I'm a youngin' so maybe my opinion doesn't count. I think the perfect age is different for everyone. I will not be getting married for at the VERY least another 5 years. I had at one point thought tomorrow would have been good, but I want to make sure I'm well established on my own before getting married.

dmfan897

I got married at 20 [DH was 26] and I feel like it was the right age for ME. Probably not for most people, but DH and I are about to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary and our marriage is still doing good. I do wish that we had waited longer to have kids though..I am 25 and about to have my 3rd baby and I feel too young. It would have been nice to have more "just us" time with DH, but now we have to wait 18 years =P

ETA: I might have reservations about my girls getting married as young as I did..I think closer to 25 would be a better age. It really depends on the person and their partner though..I think that because DH was older than me, it seemed "more okay" to get married at 20.

fancynewbeesly

I got married at 24 (DH was 23). It worked for us. We were dating for about 4 years before we were married, and were married nearly 7 years before our daughter was born. (Our choice) Because of that, even though we did get married young, we were emotionally ready and mature enough to have a child when we did.

I think if my daughter wants to get married young, I wouldn't be opposed to it--but I would suggest to be married for a few years before planning to have a child. That is just me though. 

+SMACE+

92. because you're most likely gonna kick it soon, so the whole marriage will be all newlywed bliss. 

tarebear9891

I got married at 19. In retrospect it was too young. We are still happily married 4 years later, but it wasn't easy. We have gone through some struggles and we didn't start off with a strong foundation. If we didn't have the kids we might have thrown the towel in due to sheer immaturity. But having gone through everything we are stronger now.

Another aspect is that I am doing everything completely backwards. I got pregnant, then married, and now I'm going to nursing school. It is HARD. I don't regret my babies at all, the give me the motivation to finish.

So to answer your question, I will encourage my kids to wait and try not to sound like a hypocrite to them. If it's true love waiting isn't going to make it go away. And it would have been nice to have some time just being together as a couple without kiddos involved. Again, not that I regret them.

synchrosally

I got married at 27. I think it was just right! I had DS at 29 and wouldn't change a thing!

If DS is thinking about marriage much before 25, I will try to encourage him to wait just a little bit, but in the end, it's his decision. 

isacdimi10

I was 18, DH was 19.

Honestly. I think for 90% of people like 25+ is the right age to get married.

DH and I are both spectacularly different from our friends. We get along better with the Late 20s/early 30s crowd so much better than people our own age. I have had friends get married and my first response is to roll my eyes and go "Pft yeah right"

What will I tell my kids? To marry when their heart says its right. Now if I see them planning to go into an eyeroll marriage I will probably try to say something nicely but all in all its their life. 

ATMmom324

I was 29 and DH was 35.  I think it was a good age but maybe wish we had gotten married a bit younger.  I would like a bunch of kids and feel like we are starting to run out of time.

mollybloom

I was 32. I am happy that I waited, but I do think that 29/ 30 is the ideal age to get married.

Being from the NYC area, it is pretty common for women to not marry until they are into their 30s.

Venus04d

Age isn't so much of a factor in when I would recommend my DDs get married as several other factors. Maturity level, time spent out on their own, previous relationships, stability in her current relationship, etc matter much more. Not a single person that knows me personally thought I was too young when I married DH at 22. I have always been incredibly old. My DH was 32, however, and I think everyone thought he was too young. ;-) We have a wonderful marriage and healthy lives as individuals. Most of our couple friends are in their late 30s and wed around the same time we did. One is already divorced and the others are not in marriages I would choose. Overall, I just don't think age means as much as we'd like to pretend it does. 

LaCally4

DH and I were 25 when we married. We'd been together for 6 years at that point, both finished grad school (he was working on his DPT), and had good jobs. We had DS at 27, adopted DD1 at 28, and had DD2 right before turning 29 so it's been a busy few years! With my own kids, I want them to be financially independent and stable before marrying. I'll highly encourage them to be finished with college first, if that's the route they take. I think 25 is a good minimum age but it depends on them, their circumstances, etc. They could be ready sooner or they might not be ready until 40.

judahsmommy1

I was 23, my DH was almost 22. I don't think there's a perfect age to get married at all. I think it just depends on the people involved. Neither my DH or I had any interest in experiencing the single life. We both very much wanted marriage and a family - both of us always have. So that was the right age for us. There are things that I would do differently regarding our marriage, but age isn't one of them.

LuJackCity

I got married at 22. I'll let you know if it was a good age when we either get divorced or die old and together.

laurakaz13

Married at 32.  It was perfect for me.  I did a lot throughout my 20s education and career-wise.  I got to travel and live in foreign countries and I wasn't interested in settling down.  When I met DH at 30, I was ready. 

DreadLoc

I got married at 20.  

Both of us partied pretty hard when we were in our teens and discovered we prefer to party hard together, so why not get hitched and party hard together forever?

ougrad1

CootieQueen170:

I'm not married and I'm a youngin' so maybe my opinion doesn't count. I think the perfect age is different for everyone. I will not be getting married for at the VERY least another 5 years. I had at one point thought tomorrow would have been good, but I want to make sure I'm well established on my own before getting married.

Good for you Cootie.  GL to you sweet girl.  : )

LadyXaverian

I was 26. DH was 33. We're about to celebrate our 9th anniversary.

I don't think there is a perfect age. I wouldn't have been ready before my mid-20s, but my parents got married when my mother was 18 and my father 21. They're about to celebrate anniversary #38.

I hope Nora will choose to finish her education, experience some of the world, and figure out who/what she wants to be before settling down. I will try to instill that in her, but if she is ready to get married at 22, I doubt I will try to stop her unless her SO is a complete and obvious douche.

ougrad1

dmfan897:

I got married at 20 [DH was 26] and I feel like it was the right age for ME. Probably not for most people, but DH and I are about to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary and our marriage is still doing good. I do wish that we had waited longer to have kids though..I am 25 and about to have my 3rd baby and I feel too young. It would have been nice to have more "just us" time with DH, but now we have to wait 18 years =P

ETA: I might have reservations about my girls getting married as young as I did..I think closer to 25 would be a better age. It really depends on the person and their partner though..I think that because DH was older than me, it seemed "more okay" to get married at 20.

You have an edge actually.   You will still be young when you get them out of the house and be able to enjoy your grandchildren.   I pray for the opportunity to have grand kids.  

Liz4444

I was 30.  I think it was the right time for me, I really knew who I was.  I honestly think if I had gotten married in my 20's it wouldn't have lasted, I have changed a lot.

ougrad1

+SMACE+:

92. because you're most likely gonna kick it soon, so the whole marriage will be all newlywed bliss. 

LOL-shut it.  This is a very.serious.conversation.  Damn you for making light of it.

 

+SMACE+

I have a chronic inability to be serious. 

 i bet there's as 12 step group.  

LadyXaverian

laurakaz13:

Married at 32.  It was perfect for me.  I did a lot throughout my 20s education and career-wise.  I got to travel and live in foreign countries and I wasn't interested in settling down.  When I met DH at 30, I was ready. 

This is exactly what I hope for for my daughter.

isacdimi10

I want to add: No one in my family thought I was/we were too young.

I asked my mother on our 2nd anniversary (May 31) why she let me get married young. Her response was (I copy/paste from the FB chat). 

"I didn't let you do anything. When you were young you got it in your mind that you would never get married and maybe have one kid. You carried that straight into your teens, boyfriends were just for fun. Then the night Carl asked for our permission to propose I thought "Let the boy find out what he's dealing with" and gave him my blessing. When you called to say you were engaged I realized there was something special about that man because he made you believe in marriage."

Her response made me cry lol so I saved it on my external hard drive. 

RobinSparkles214

I was 26 and DH was 28. I thought it was a good time for us. We did everything out of order, had DS1 first and got married later. I'm not sure that I think there is a perfect age, but I'd probably want my kids to be established in a career before they tied the knot.

Trying to continue my education has been difficult. We're at the point that I'm SAH now until we're done having children.

ougrad1

Love you girls....thank you for the response.  

quidditchcapn1120

We got married at 21 (me) and 22 (him).  I was a senior in college, had travelled the world, DH had travelled the US for his job and we were ready.  I don't have any illusions that this is a good age for marriage for just anyone.  I think the best time to get married is when the individuals know they could make it alone based on experience, but don't want to.  When they know they are compatible and want to make a life together, that is when to get married.  I certainly hope that my children choose to pursue education and other dreams before marriage but other than that I just wish them happiness.

grr_aargh

twatley:

25. The answer is 25. Everyone knows that. Next.

THAT'S MY ANSWER.  Stop looking at my paper. 

 

 

KLMFBP3

Well, I got married at age 29, dh was 31.  But, we were together since I was 21 and DH was 23.

ETA:  I think a good age to marry is in your 20's...maybe early 30's.  But it doesn't mean it's not perfect if the person is 50 either...as long as the person you are marrying is perfect for you I guess that's all that matters 

mrebecca

I was 18, he was 19. 
Nuff said.

Jenny952

I got married at 22 and DH was 25.  I look back now and think how young we were!  Even now when I hear about people getting married who are in their early 20's, I think how young that is.  My cousin got married a few years ago at 23 and I told my mom that she's so young.  She reminded me I was a year younger... lol!

I don't know about a perfect age.  I supposed I'd say 27-28, give you time to be young, establish a career or finish school, get married and spend time with your spouse before starting a family.  DH and I have been married now for almost 10 years, and it's been amazing, but we did struggle a little bit a few years into our marriage.  I think we're lucky that we grew up together and continued to have a lot of fun together and enough simliar interests but also independence.  I could see where maybe 3-4 years into the marriage we really could have gone our separate ways if we didn't stay really connected.

jpearce327

oh, you guys just make me sad...

 

I'm only 21, and I know it will be years before I can even consider marriage, but it still hurts to think that I'll be alone for so much longer.

..and that DS will be at least 6, maybe more before I'm comfortable with it. 

RissKay

I was 19, DH was 25. For us, this WAS the perfect time for us to get married. A lot happened to us in our first 2 years of marriage that would've made a lot of people throw in the towel, but I feel it brought us closer. 

I think I'll encourage my kids to finish college/get started on a career path (with or without finishing school/and this could also be in the artistic world, not just corporate) before they get married. I, however, did not do this, because my DH was going to be moving away and we just knew we were ready. Sometimes I'm sad I hadn't stayed in/at school and feel like I missed out on some of those years, but I wouldn't trade a day with my DH for anything. I've never really gotten along with anyone my age, anyway. Usually 6+ years older than I is the group of people I hang out with.

/end rant.  

trizzie

I was 28 and DH was 30. We started dating when I was 26.  It was the perfect age for us both, though at the time I thought I was an "old" bride because all my friends married at 22 (southern baptist college grad ).  I hope that my kids will wait until their late 20s. At the earliest 25.

Amaryllis619

We got married when i was 28 and DH was 27.  It was perfect for US!  We had a year and a half engagement, and by the time we got married we had been dating for four years.  If DD asks me, I will encourage her to wait until after she is 25. I think alot of growth happens in your early twenties... but that's just my opinion.

Luckie519

I got married at 27 and DH was 26.  It was a good age for us.  I thought I would be married before then, but I am glad I waited. 

kcisthebombdotcom

I got married 4 months shy of my 25th birthday. I think it was a good age.

I hope that my children get married around the same time (or even older). I'd like to see them finish college (or trade school) and get established in their career/on their own financially before they get married/buy a house/have kids.