I'm bitter

mrsgaines100 · May 2012

VikingQueen:
mrsgaines100:
I am sad to see some of this. I firmly believe that even if you disagree with Katharine's post from the other night (BTW, we ALL have differences of opinion), or even hell, if you disagree with everything she has ever said, how does a bfp that qualifies not deserve a congrats? Or at least not a bashing? We all have been too hurt to say we wont congratulate someone bc we dont agree with things they have had to say.
I didn't say it didn't deserve one. I truly hope she never has to come back to TTCAL and that this is her take home baby as I do for every woman that has been in this situation.

I know you hope this. I really do.

Maryland Baby · May 2012

It's ok to be bitter. But.. with these boards comes this very drama amongst a group of women. As with anything like this your always going to get people who post stupid crap, inappropriate things that cause trouble.I know I am new but I personally wish each and everyone of you a BFP and I want to hear about it and wish you well and hope I never see you on this board again for all the right reasons! I would hope to share mine with you ladies too if I got one. I couldn't imagine just disappearing without saying at the very least a thank you.

I think this has all gotten out of hand, misunderstandings, misdirected anger.

Never mind trolls and drive-bys, it's the women talking here and now that count.

((HUGS))

figgs0831 · May 2012

TaterTwins:
Maybe someone should keep a running list on that blog with the screen names of people who are allowed to post a BFP.

::claps hands::

This is a great idea! So we can all be clear who is important and who is not. Because obviously there women who are more welcomed than others here. I am curious.... Where is the cut off??

jinxycat24 · May 2012

VikingQueen:
jinxycat24:
This post is the exact reason why I have stopped posting here. This is a perfect example of how the "rules" change depending on the person. I don't EVER comment on all the bs posts around here about "rules" and "oldies" and "newbies" because I think they are ridiculous and I know the comments will fall on deaf ears. But I am so mad about this! Katherine did nothing wrong by posting her BFP (per the blog) and yet the joy and celebration of that was taken away by this bitterness (your definition). And please don't try to back pedal now and say it wasn't all about the BFP....you already admit that.
I've said several times it wasn't all about the BFP so how would I be backpedalling? Yes it annoyed me and as I have already said I was called out and I was truthful that some of it was about her posting a BFP on the board. But again anything I say can be construed just as anything you say, or Petra, or Katherine, or pance, or the list can go on and on can be construed, yeah I'm bitter I've admitted that many times as well. Not just on this post.

I said you are back pedaling because until LaTai brought up her point you only talked about it being "wrong" that Katherine posted her BFP. The point of my post was to express my frustration in the hypocrisy of this board.

VikingQueen · May 2012

jinxycat24:
VikingQueen:
jinxycat24:
This post is the exact reason why I have stopped posting here. This is a perfect example of how the "rules" change depending on the person. I don't EVER comment on all the bs posts around here about "rules" and "oldies" and "newbies" because I think they are ridiculous and I know the comments will fall on deaf ears. But I am so mad about this! Katherine did nothing wrong by posting her BFP (per the blog) and yet the joy and celebration of that was taken away by this bitterness (your definition). And please don't try to back pedal now and say it wasn't all about the BFP....you already admit that.
I've said several times it wasn't all about the BFP so how would I be backpedalling? Yes it annoyed me and as I have already said I was called out and I was truthful that some of it was about her posting a BFP on the board. But again anything I say can be construed just as anything you say, or Petra, or Katherine, or pance, or the list can go on and on can be construed, yeah I'm bitter I've admitted that many times as well. Not just on this post.
I said you are back pedaling because until LaTai brought up her point you only talked about it being "wrong" that Katherine posted her BFP. The point of my post was to express my frustration in the hypocrisy of this board.

I'm sorry but when I first brought up the BFP I also said that was just one of the issues I had..

LaTi07 · May 2012

figgs0831:
TaterTwins:
Maybe someone should keep a running list on that blog with the screen names of people who are allowed to post a BFP.
::claps hands::
This is a great idea! So we can all be clear who is important and who is not. Because obviously there women who are more welcomed than others here. I am curious.... Where is the cut off??

Really? This wasn't necessary.

QuigleyCat1 · May 2012

I'm basically of the same mind as chlobub. I love and value you VQ on this board for sure! However, she had every right to post her BFP. I don't think it's fair for someone to forego their chance to announce just because of a sh!tstorm. They happen so often now so how would anyone be able to share their news, really? So the main focus has been the BFP post, but you also said their were several other things that were bothering you. Now you've been hammered enough on the BFP and you were honest and stood your ground. I give you credit and would expect nothing less from you VQ. Maybe you could PM those that you have issue with? If I were part of something that bothered you, I would hope you would PM me. With that said I am sorry you're having a bitter time right now and hope tomorrow is better for you.

*and on a much happier note...can't wait for tomorrow's new parade!

KDS1987 · May 2012

This may sound harsh and flame away if you feel it is necessary, but she had every right to post that and it doesn't really matter what you think she should have done. She followed the rules and posted in a tactful way. Starting a thread that says other wise is wrong. If you feel bitter, that is your deal, but please don't bring more drama to the board that isn't needed.

If we didn't have graduates this board would have no hope. Yes it sucks to see other people move on while you are stuck here, but I think it would be worse if we never saw people move on and were left feeling that we too would be here forever.

As far as timing goes, that is completely irrelavant. There is always BS on here so there really is no "good time". Also, she deserves to post right away since she is probably beyond excited right now. THis is something we all pray for day in and day out, why the hell would we wait until things calmed down on the board to spread our happy news?

LaTi07 · May 2012

Alright, everyone, anyone, I ask you this.

This weekend this board lost one of it's long time members who was very respected and loved by a vast majority of this board. Someone who stood by this board, even after getting one of the most painful blows dealt of being told that bio kids aren't happening. Even as Wicked was bowing out, quite gracefully I might add, Katharine seized her moment to get her last few slaps in. Something that was very common of her. Katharine used any and every opportunity to oppose Wicked. It was quite obvious to anyone who posted here frequently. No one stood up to Katharine and said "enough's enough" as Wicked was bowing out. Instead, everyone stood by and said "no Wicked stay," but not one person checked a relentless personal attack.

Today Katharine posted a BFP. I'm not saying she shouldn't have. By the rules, she was more than fine to. I wish her well and I hope this is her take home baby. I'm just shocked that VQ had the balls to stand up to Katharine and you all proceed to slap her down. Why is it that you all turn an eye to a relentless personal attack against one of our most supportive members, yet get on VQ because she stood up to this person?

katharine25 · May 2012

This thread is so full of hypocrisy, I barely know where to start.

Firstly, I decided that when i got my next BFP, I was going to post it here weeks ago. Am I out to prove a point? A little bit.I apologize for the bad timing. When I first joined here, BFP's from supportive members were widely accepted. I'm not sure when this board made women sneak off, but that's really how it does feel (at least that was MY feeling 2 months ago). It's also not my sole opinion around these parts. I've seen supportive graduates often referred to as :disappearing in the night" several times. I've felt this way for quite some time. In fact, if you look at DC2London's call to me today, you'll see that the majority of the responses were TTCAL'ers wishing her congratulation because they had NO idea she had graduated. I can't even count the number of threads recently that have discussed how Supportive Active members should post their BFP's. But again, sorry for actually listening and setting an example, following the blog rules, and having a badly timed cycle.

VQ, you have really hurt me. I have given you nothing but heartfelt support in my time here, and on the FB group where you were a member for quite a while. Even after whatever things have gone down, I have never felt anything but kindness towards you. I have listened to you go on about your ex and issues, and always given you my honest and empathetic advise. I'm saddened to see you throw me in the mud so quickly.

LaTi, Since you are referring to my post yesterday in Wicked's thread, then clearly you have a failing of reading comprehension. I clearly stated what MY interpretation of a post was, in response to question that was asked. I offered an example to how I felt the post came across, while acknowledging that might not have been her intention, but is how if came across to me. I think Wicked is a smart enough and strong enough woman to be able to take a little honest opinion of how she comes across. Or wait, was I supposed to hugs and rainbow farts all over the post?

And at the same time, another very supportive and loving member of this board - while not as "seasoned" - but frankly way more supportive in recent times - expressed her honest reasons for leaving this weekend, and got bashed for having an opinion - that honestly is not that unpopular. Maybe that's why people are so afraid to speak up around here.

Petra (and you'll get a PM sometime soon) To my general opinion of this board statement you made. There are things I love about it, and things I don't. This entire thread being an example of one I don't. Funny enough, I've actually been one of TTCAL's biggest supports "off-board" - do I disagree with actions taken my some members here? Definitely, but I've never pretended that I haven't - here or otherwise. And I've always tried to offer sound examples of where my opinion comes from. Have I let my opinion of this stop me from "given & getting support" here. Absolutely not. Because this place is just as much mine as it is yours. Afterall, it's the internet.

LaTi07 · May 2012

katharine25:
LaTi, Since you are referring to my post yesterday in Wicked's thread, then clearly you have a failing of reading comprehension. I clearly stated what MY interpretation of a post was, in response to question that was asked. I offered an example to how I felt the post came across, while acknowledging that might not have been her intention, but is how if came across to me. I think Wicked is a smart enough and strong enough woman to be able to take a little honest opinion of how she comes across. Or wait, was I supposed to hugs and rainbow farts all over the post?

Katharine, I may not always respect what you say or do, but at least I do respect you enough to not resort to low blows. I'm sorry you couldn't show me the same respect. I said my peace. Good luck with your pg, I hope you get your take home baby soon.

vflipo · May 2012

Posting your BFP in the midst of a shiit storm because you decided to post it partially to "prove a point" a while ago is kind of tacky. It also makes me think maybe you shouldn't have posted it here if those were your intentions, even in the least bit. I only lurk and post on occasion over here, so I don't really know you outside of the comments you've made here, but that's a craptastic thing to do to a bunch of people you support.

That being said, congrats on your BFP. I hope you have an uneventful pregnancy.

VikingQueen · May 2012

katharine25:

and got bashed for having an opinion

Just like I did.. I was asked if your BFP post was part of this thread and I was honest and got bashed.. but it's ok. I have big girl panties and I'm not afriad to speak up. I agree with vflipo totally on what she said.

I'm sorry you were hurt by what I said. But I do believe it was wrong to post a BFP on this board while we were having problems with drivebys.. that DOES NOT mean that I wish evil things on you. As I have said atleast 3 times now, I hope this is your take home baby and that you only come back here to visit.

I also agreed that you were fully in your rights to post the BFP as you were a regular and you have been supportive. Again as I have said before that was not the main issue that prompted this actual post. I kinda feel it was disrespecful, but it was not my intention to call you out on it, until someone called me out as this post being about that and I admitted that yes part of it was. I was honest and I stood my ground for what I believe in and I am still doing so. If that makes some people hate me, so be it.

Again. I wish you the best on your pregnancy and hope that come Feb, you have a beautiful baby to call your own.

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