June 2011 Moms

What is the best parenting decision you've made?

I haven't been around much, but wanted to say hello!  My BFF is due in August with her first, and she asked me what my best decision has been so far. For me, it is definitely my decision to BF. It has been the most amazing experience, and I'm actually sad to see it slow down. I know she is nursing less, we will keep going, but I will definitely shed some tears when it is over. So, what was your best decision?
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Re: What is the best parenting decision you've made?

  • Two words: Sleep.  Training.  At an appropriate age of course.
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  • milescmilesc member

    Not being afraid to have things in the crib with LO.

    Shes slept through the night since 8wks, and has always loved something soft up against her face. (lovie, soft toy, blanket ect) I realize this won't work for everyone, and it's not a cure all for sleep issues, but I believe we had less issues because she was comfortable.

    I'll throw in another one- GO WITH THE FLOW.

     If something's not working for you (her), try something else! Don't be ashamed if things don't turn out how you imagined. Go with what works for YOU.

    Those who don't believe in love at first sight, have never given birth
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  • imagekattyleigh:
    Two words: Sleep.  Training.  At an appropriate age of course.

    this was my gut reaction to the question too. For us the 3 biggies have been Breastfeeding, sleep training, and baby led weaning.

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  • Hands down... babywearing! LOL... I learned to wrap early  and it has changed my outlook on parenthood. I can do so much now and it has made our lives more manageable. I seriously can do everything that I did before and not limited to a stroller. Also, BFing... I think that has made me super lazy... LOL

    I also learned quick that don't worry about what others think. Do what is best for your family and you do not need to defend your decisions.

    Nickie
    Proud Cloth Diapering, Babywearing Mommy to Desmond (5.30.2011) and Evangeline (2.26.2014)
    Loving wife, best friend and teammate to Babywearing Daddy, Kelly (7.27.2000)


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  • Jills83Jills83 member

    Besides breastfeeding, for me it was putting him to sleep in his crib from early on.  He only slept in the bassinet for a couple weeks and then I moved him to his crib.   It was one less thing we had to worry about transitioning him with.  Of course, I realize a lot of people will say the best decision they made was to cosleep or room share so I feel like this isn't that helpful of a hint. 

    ETA: I want to agree with Remmie! It really only took me a couple days to realize daycare was cool.

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  • cvl105cvl105 member

    In general, doing what's best for our family and not worrying about what I'm "supposed to do", etc.

    Specifically, allowing Callie to sleep on her belly early on. I was scared by all the SIDS warnings, but it was the only way she would sleep without sleeping on my chest. I wasn't getting any sleep. Letting her sleep on her stomach was something I'm so glad I ended up doing.

    And BFing - not only for the health benefits...but the huge cost savings.

    ~Chelsea~
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  • BF is a big one, but the one i am proudest of is her sleeping.  From 2 weeks old i put her in her crib to sleep on her own, and since 4-6 WEEKS old she has slept a solid 12 hours a night.  She goes to bed on her own, between 7 and 8 and doesnt wake up until the next morning.  Its awesome that my husband and i have our nights together and the most stressful part of becoming parents, those sleeplessness nights were very seldom for us.  I think bc of that we have really enjoyed this whole experience so much more.
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  • hepcatshepcats member

    GAH! All of the above?!? Those are all such great responses.

    For me, the biggest one is not freaking out about/over every little thing. It's good to do your research FROM REPUTABLE SOURCES, not from Google. But even then, some stuff is just NBD and should be approached that way. For example, chewing on an unplugged cord. Who cares? It's not like they have rat's teeth and can chew through to the wires and it's not plugged in anyhow so NBD IMO.

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  • There have been a few great decisions we've made, that work for us.  They may not work for everyone.

    the biggest is probably putting him in his crib to sleep a few days after we got home.  

    Next is the decision to continue pumping after I realized he was much happier on the bottle than the breast.   

  • 1. Breastfeeding - hands down. It's been an amazing experience and although my original goal was 1 year, I now have no plans to stop until DD self-weans.

    2. Leaving my job to temporarily become a SAHM. I was in a position where I was not allowed to reduce my hours from full-time to part-time and I was extremely unhappy with the idea of putting DD into daycare FT. We sold our home and live on a budget now in order to live more comfortably on one income. We've made sacrifices, but I would gladly repeat my choice if I had it to do over again. I do plan to work 1-2 days a week per diem in the future, but I'm so thankful for this time now that I have with DD at home. (NOTHING against anyone who uses daycare full-time; I just personally wasn't at peace with the idea).

     

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  • okay...with my nearly one year of parenting expertise here are my best decisions! lol  My friend is due in a few weeks and this is what I tell her:

    -try and find a support group or some kind...for me this board has been a lifesaver.   I don't have many IRL friends with kids and having the advice and more importantly support from other moms who are going through the same stuff has been EXTREMELY helpful to me.  So if she has an online group or real-life group, whatever works best, she will probably feel much less alone.

    -  Breastfeeding was great for me as well...challenging in the first couple of months but definitely worth the struggles.  That being said, I think it's also a good decision to stop BFing if it's just making you miserable.

    - Asking for help when I was an emotional mess from the hormones...too many women are afraid to admit their feeling overwhelmed, terrified, exhausted, etc...especially in those first weeks.  If you know you're feeling more than the just the baby blues, get help sooner rather than later...it's not fair to you or baby to suffer in silence.

    - Let go.  I wish I had been better at this one...I think the media these days is really putting far too much pressure on new moms...believe in yourself and your maternal instincts...they are far more valuable that what most resources have to say.

     

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  • I second the BF. I'm also very happy to have gotten the opportunity to stay at home with DD. A few years ago I was opposed to it, but since I was between jobs I tried it and I love it. Going back to work will be tough. I will always treasure these moments. 
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  • imagekattyleigh:
    Two words: Sleep.  Training.  At an appropriate age of course.

    YesYesYesYesYes

    Yep.  I was going to say "giving my child the gift of sleep"  Wink

     

    ETA: And not doing purees.  A didn't take to them.  Finger foods is so much easier! 

  • Not trying to "schedule" my baby.  He eats when he is hungry, sleeps when he is tired.  It's 11 am and he normally naps at 10 but shows no signs of sleepy?  Ok, he will eventually.  Trying to force him to eat or sleep every few hours because "it's time" didn't make sense to me.  I mean, I do not eat every meal at the exact same time every day nor try to sleep at the same time every night, so what difference will half an hour either way make?  Not enough to force the issue to me. 
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  • Jeez, these are all great!  I was going to say hiring a PT nanny because it's the most recent and has made my work life so much easier/better.  But BFing, sleep training, BLW are all right up there.  I think I discount BFing because that was never an option in my mind.  It wasn't really a decision I made but more of a given that I would BF if that makes any sense.
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  • I think the biggest is realizing that there is no one answer to anything. And that regardless of how other Mom's appear or present themselves, no one is a baby expert. Doing what is right for my family, not what others think I should do, and not being afraid to admit it didn't work and trying something new!

     

    And Breastfeeding. In the beginning it was so painful and tough that I was planning on giving it up when I went back to work when Ash was 2 months. But I stuck with it, and one day it just got easier and I started to enjoy it. I ended up BFing until 9 months when, sadly, Ash decided he didn't want to anymore. I miss the bonding and cuddle time, and Ash still does some of the things he used to do while breastfeeding, like rubbing my arm and exploring my face with his hand, even though he doesn't BF anymore.

  • 6240662406 member
    Putting her in the crib starting the first night we were home.  Her room is right across from ours and we had the monitor so we always heard her when she woke up during the night.  The nights we did sleep in the same room with her (in a hotel, at the cabin, etc.) were rough because she was a loud sleeper with her little baby noises that DH and I had a hard time sleeping.  We also avoided having to make a transition later on.
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  • 6240662406 member
    I should also add that I know everyone is pro-BF, but it never worked for us and I ended up EPing.  I didn't feel like a failure because I didn't BF she was getting my milk, that is all that mattered.  It doesn't work for everyone and you just need to accept that. 
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  • I love this post.

    My big ones...

    1 - Breastfeeding. And sticking with it. We are now weaned completely (as of last week) and I miss it SO MUCH. I had a really hard time the first 8-9 weeks and almost quit but stuck with it and I'm so happy I did.

    2 - Having the baby in our room the first 6 months. I loved that time - I loved looking over and seeing her sleeping. I loved pulling her into bed in the early hours and snuggling. We made the decision to move her into the crib and sleep train all at once - it took one night of hell and we've never looked back. She actually won't sleep in our bed anymore (i've tried during naps!) and I love those memories.

    3 - Going to work part-time. My job has been incredible with working with my schedule - I now work Wednesdays, Thursdays and Friday mornings - allowing me plenty of time with my sweets.

    4 - Traveling with the babe. We've been to Florida SIX times in her little life (my husband's family lives in Fort Lauderdale) and I don't regret it for a second (even when her schedule becomes disrupted for a couple of days).

    5 - Figuring out her nap schedule - she naps so much better nowadys! Twice a day, 3 hours after she last wakes up.

     

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  • Putting DD in her crib from the beginning.  The first week or so she didn't really sleep but after that we realized it didn't matter if she was in the pack n play or her crib, she slept for about 2 hours, so we used the crib.  Best decision ever.  She loves her crib now!
  • Oh, and another one for us, though it may totally be an UO, but pretty much once a month we leave Ty with one of the sets of grandparents overnight for a night.  We never leave him with the grandparents so we can go home and watch HBO, there's always a reason (weddings mainly), but it has really been beneficial to our relationship!  It allows us a night to reconnect, and that doesn't just mean physically - we can talk without worrying that he's waking up, etc.  And, sleeping in the next morning is always awesome!
  • Sleep training. Best thing ever for us. I have zero regrets about it and will do it again in a heartbeat when we have #2.


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  • ajc0121ajc0121 member

    BFing is definitely one. I love the bond we have because of it.

    Also, co-sleeping because it works for my family. I love waking up to my sweet little girl every morning too. Some nights it is rough but waking up to her smiling and giving me a kiss is totally worth it IMO.

    And, joining a Mom's Group. We love having playdates every week (sometimes 2 or 3) and getting to do so many different activities with other kids/moms.

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  • If I had to choose just one, I would say BLW.  E is an excellent eater and she has really advanced fine motor skills for her age.  I attribute both of those successes to BLW.

    Trusting my gut, BFing, and sleep training (although I came to that realization much later than most) also rank up there really high.

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  • nic5606nic5606 member

    Giving breast milk and not giving up. He never learned to latch despite weekly visits with lactation consultants until he was 11wks old.

     I still pump 4-5 times a day and will continue to until he is taking "real" food better and taking less milk.

     I hope he stops gagging on textures soon and starts eating more, because I am sick of pumping!

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  • By far, the best decision that we have made was for me to take an extended maternity leave.  I knew I was going to get laid off within 6 months and we didn't want me to go through the stress of having to put DS in DC and then have to take him out once I was done working and the stress of me returning to work - it is a toxic environment there right now.  Sure enough, I was laid off and have been a SAHM since G was born.  I love it!  And now that G is older and DH's work schedule has changed and I am ready, I may go look for a new job and put him in DC a couple days a week.
  • simbabysimbaby member

    imageTelly21182:
    once a month we leave Ty with one of the sets of grandparents overnight for a night.

    Yes  This is us. Our relationship before LO was amazing and even more amazing today.

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  • I would say BFing, BLWing, and sleep training.  Which all make me sound lazy & cheap... well the first two at least. Smile
      
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  • BFing and sleep training. I love Dr. Ferber!
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  • image62406:
    I should also add that I know everyone is pro-BF, but it never worked for us and I ended up EPing.  I didn't feel like a failure because I didn't BF she was getting my milk, that is all that mattered.  It doesn't work for everyone and you just need to accept that. 

    The question is, what is the best decision YOU made.  BFing was the best decision I made for myself and my daughter, it has been a great experience.  I'm not implying that it is the best choice for everyone.

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  • My initial reaction was BFing. I can't really think of another true "decision" I made. We just kind of take things as they come. I'm loving how he's turning out, so far, so I guess I'll count that. I honestly think C is just an innately "easy" baby. I don't think I could have screwed him up, lol :)

     

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  • imageajc0121:

    BFing is definitely one. I love the bond we have because of it.

    Also, co-sleeping because it works for my family. I love waking up to my sweet little girl every morning too. Some nights it is rough but waking up to her smiling and giving me a kiss is totally worth it IMO.

    And, joining a Mom's Group. We love having playdates every week (sometimes 2 or 3) and getting to do so many different activities with other kids/moms.

    Under the circumstances we ended up co-sleeping and it was something I never thought we would do. But I loved it and I wouldn't change it. I definitely don't want to do it with #2 but if we had to I know it would still be worth it.

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  • Sleep training.  And BFing, although we struggled through every second of it. 
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  • ajc0121ajc0121 member
    imagevanessa999:
    imageajc0121:

    BFing is definitely one. I love the bond we have because of it.

    Also, co-sleeping because it works for my family. I love waking up to my sweet little girl every morning too. Some nights it is rough but waking up to her smiling and giving me a kiss is totally worth it IMO.

    And, joining a Mom's Group. We love having playdates every week (sometimes 2 or 3) and getting to do so many different activities with other kids/moms.

    Under the circumstances we ended up co-sleeping and it was something I never thought we would do. But I loved it and I wouldn't change it. I definitely don't want to do it with #2 but if we had to I know it would still be worth it.

    Yeah we decided to because it was the only way I could get sleep. My DH works out of town so it was just me doing all the child care 24/7 and with her sleeping with me, we both got sleep. Now I am just so used to it. But if we have a second baby I will probably have them in their own crib to begin with. We shall see though!!

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  • imageRemmieRis:

    Not exactly a best decision, but more of a best realization. That would be, that daycare is not the devil. I agonized over bringing LO to daycare when he was 3 months old and I had to go back to work. I worried, dreaded, cried.  But you know what, he does great and he really enjoys it there! Of course I wish I could stay home with him, but it's just not in the cards for us. So, to new moms who have to send their LOs to DC, it's not the end of the world! Everyone will be okay : )

    100% this for me too.  

    The best decision I made was visiting a lactation consultant at 3 wks.  DS wouldn't latch after being spoiled with bottles in the nursery for a few days, and every attempt at BFing led to both of us sobbing.  I EP'd for 3 weeks and Ithought at that point it was too late to learn to BF. 

    One session with a lactation consultant made all the difference.  (Other things that helped: My Brest Friend nursing pillow, Breastflow bottles, and a nipple shield that I only had to use once or twice) I am still BFing, though supplementing quite a bit at this point.

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  • I agree with all the other mama's. Breast feeding was definitely the most rewarding decision I made as a mother. Some other favorites are, our decision to co sleep, cloth diaper, baby wear and to not vaccinate.  

    sam & arlo 

  • image62406:
    I should also add that I know everyone is pro-BF, but it never worked for us and I ended up EPing.  I didn't feel like a failure because I didn't BF she was getting my milk, that is all that mattered.  It doesn't work for everyone and you just need to accept that. 

    This would be #1 for me.  I always planned to BF and suffered through 2 months of misery and daily trips to every lactation consultant I could find and it just didn't work.  I did not want to give up but am glad DH (who was very supportive and pro-BF) let me know it was ok to quit.  It's not at all what I planned and I will try to BF my next LO but it completely tore me apart physically, emotionally and (never thought I would say this) quitting BF was the best thing for my sanity, my relationship with my daughter and my relationship with my husband. 

    Other top ones would be putting DD to sleep in her crib from night 1, sleep training, getting out of the house on walks and to spend time with other moms, and letting LO learn to explore on their own and entertain themselves (balanced with good interaction). 

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  • hands down BF'ing. It cures all. lol. I think as a faimly we all love BF'ing, even DH. He knows it can calm DD like no other and the cost savings is nice too!
  • 2 things:

    I will let the dishes stay dirty, the clothes go unfolded and the dinner unmade any moment of the week - I read to her and actively play on the floor with DD, or take her outside to enjoy fresh air. That's what she'll treasure and I'll remember, not whether I had a clean house all the time. My time with her is too precious not to spend it with her.

    She has been on a strictly organic diet since Day 1. From BM to organic formula to all organic cereals and solids. This is the one thing that my mom said she would have done differently if she had her kids to raise again, so I took it to heart.

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  • imageJills83:

    Besides breastfeeding, for me it was putting him to sleep in his crib from early on.  He only slept in the bassinet for a couple weeks and then I moved him to his crib.   It was one less thing we had to worry about transitioning him with.  Of course, I realize a lot of people will say the best decision they made was to cosleep or room share so I feel like this isn't that helpful of a hint. 

    ETA: I want to agree with Remmie! It really only took me a couple days to realize daycare was cool.

    Ha ha, my first response was bed sharing! Whatever works for you :)

    I would say BFing, if I had to pick one thing. Nursing led to the other decisions I'm happy with- bed sharing, taking an extended maternity leave, BLW, etc. Above all, I think going with your instinct and remembering that you are the expert on your baby are the best pieces of advice I would give. 

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