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JerkStore213
member
Fitty Shades of Cray
JerkStore213
member
I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror. Damn my hair. Why
can't it just behave? Anyway, it doesn't matter, because nobody can see
your hair on the internet anyways. I should be getting some work done,
but instead I'm drawn to the magnetism of something... no... someone.
Someone who has amassed quite the reputation for herself. Emcray. I
shuffle clumsily to the board, awaiting her reaction to a story I typed
up about her. Will she like it? I hope she likes it. I nervously smooth
my hair down and adjust my collar. Why did I wear this stupid shirt?
"Jerkstore," she says, "What a pleasant surprise." Her gaze is unwavering and intense. Or is that just the crazy?
My
memories of her did not do her justice. She is the complete opposite of
self aware. The epitome of batshiit. And now here she is, right in front
of me. I pull myself together enough to stammer out, "Ms. Cray, wha-
what are you doing here?"
"Why Ms. Store," she said coyly with
the ghost of a smile on her lips, "I came to clear my name. You
misrepresented me, and I feel that I have the right to explain myself
properly."
"Well how do you plan on doing that?" I ask, my voice suddenly too high pitched. Calm down, JerkStore! Be cool, damnit!
Emcray
blinks. "First, I'm going to write a literal, detailed account of what I
was wearing on the day I hung out with so-and-so. Then, I'll call out all
those biitches who dare say I would eat that fake Italian BS at the Olive Garden. After that,
I'll open up my secret douche dungeon for everyone to see and not give
the people who wrote the stuff any access if they want to delete any of
it. I know one of my two remaining friends said something about playing
fair, but who cares? The thing is, Ms. Store, I'm a bad, bad girl.
People just won't stop talking about me. It's exhausting, really. And
they're like, always copying off me and ***. Did you see my message
board that I made all by myself? Nobody else's contributions to it
counted. And I'll keep reminding people of that til the day I die or
until the bump figures out how to IP ban."
"Ok Cray. I understand your feelings were hurt when all that stuff went down. I just don't understand why you had to be a big baby and shut down a whole community instead of just admitting that. Even you have to admit that what went on between you and 2% of the board wasn't anybody's business but your own."
Cray sighed and furrowed her brow. "Idiot," she said. "Moron. You really think my feelings would be hurt because I felt that people who I thought were my friends were talking behind my back? I'm just mad because nobody got the minute details correct when they retold the story. That's all that matters to me. I need to get the word out that my hair was in a ponytail that day. NOT a braid."
"Cray, you sound like a control freak." I gasp. I can't believe I let that slip out.
"Not a control freak, Store. Just a freak."
My heart is racing now. Does she mean what I think she means? She can't.
"I'm
fully aware that this is a dark path I'm leading you down, Store, which
is why I want you to think carefully about this. I need you to look at
some paperwork. I need to know your limits and you need to know mine."
I
don't know what this paperwork is about, but I think it says something
about Emcray owning everything I type on the internet, ever. Whatever,
it can't be legit, can it? I toss my hair back and confidently take her
hand as she leads me down a hallway. As we walk, I glance at the
paperwork.
RULES
Obedience:
The Submissive will obey
any instructions given by the Dominant immediately without hesitation
or reservation and in an expedious manner.
Sleep:
The Submissive will stay up all hours of the night reading internet drama.
Personal Hygeine/Beauty:
This is the internet, are you kidding me?
Personal Qualities:
The
Submissive will not roll eyes at the Dominant's horrible sense of
humor. The Submissive must explain any jokes and/or sarcasm in literal
terms, even if it ruins the joke. The Submissive must relinquish all
authored content on message board to the Dominant. She shall be
accountable for any secrets she shares within, no matter how private.
When telling a story, the submissive must remember all important
details, like what your waitress's name was when you went out to eat
that one time.
We retire to the secret douche dungeon, where all
the crazy stuff happens. It's everything I ever imagined. All kinds of
computer screens, robot-looking servers, green lights, fog, screen
shots, incriminating PMs. Handcuffs. Handcuffs??? "I'm going to
take you from behind, BGP," Cray murmurs, and with her other hand, she
clicks a button that allows everyone to see into the private things that
happened like a year ago. I'm not gonna lie, it was hot.
"You are mine," she whispers. "Only mine. Don't forget it."
It
was then that I realized that thousands of people were watching the
whole thing. I couldn't decide whether I was completely turned off or
aroused. My inner goddess decided she wanted to keep it going and
totally did a salsa dance and then the roger rabbit.
Every ounce
of good in me told me to stop the whole thing, that this was getting out
of control. But the naughty side of me said, "Keep on going, Jerk. This
is too good to be true." I like my naughty side better.
??Why
are you such a diick, Cray? Why'd you take a community of friends and
heartlessly shut it down because nobody wanted to blindly ride your jock
anymore?" I whisper, staring up into steel gray eyes.
"Because I?m fifty shades of fuccked up, Jerkstore."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Fitty Shades of Cray
Why thank you! I do write professionally, but it's nothing as fun and glamorous as this. I'm a corporate drone. I've been procrastinating about starting a blog for oh... 6 years now, but I'm way too lazy.
Well, let me know if/when you start that blog.
Just when I think I couldn't possibly love you more.....
Can you write short stories and have them published so I can DL them for free to my Kindle?
I haven't read the Twilight books. But I haven't read 50 shades either, so if necessity arises, I might have to Twilight a betch.
This was fan-freakin-tastic.
THIS IS IN DIRECT VIOLATION OF OUR AGREEMENT.
Best line ever written. EVER.
It's not. It's not even my style.
Also, Kate, you're really getting predictable. Is the only way you can get attention by continuing to talk about me? You're the one screwing over your friends. When more of BGP gets made public, you will be the one they can thank for it. Maybe next it should be chat logs.
A lot of your friends have a lot of things they don't want the masses to read. I don't have the time or the desire to differentiate who posted what. It would all just go up at once, and their stuff is laid bare for all to see... because you wanted a few laughs from a bunch of internet strangers.
And Mandaree, there is nothing wrong with saying Kate. Her user name was Katefres for ages. So, as for posting people's real first names... that's her problem. I don't care to try to memorize everyone's new names. Just like I will still call you Mandaree. That's what I knew you as, that's who you will remain.
IMPOSTER!
We are not strangers!!!! We meet up in dark alleys all the time and fist eachother.
I'll guess this is Kate... or Cruelsound, or some other lame ass. Cruelsound loves to make AE's. She's admitted that many times. So... whoever is lame enough to now pretend to BE me... give it a break.
Hello Rim. At least alley-fisting sounds more entertaining than these lame narrations of Kate's.
Seriously, give it a rest. I'm the real Emjay. I have the delusions of grandeur to prove it.
At least you didn't spell it "dilution" like that idiot that messaged me the other day asking me to remove her posts.
Also... I must be very important if I have completely occupied Kate's life and contribute more traffic to this board in one post than it gets in a full day, because you all can't give me up. :-( Sad, really.
Well... your idiot friend made yet another thread today. So... consider that the "Emjay Signal". Like the bat signal, but cooler.
I never understood exactly who made this agreement with you.
Seriously. I watch Jersey Shore too but that doesn't mean I give a shiit about Snookie. Paula D is another story obviously.
except we met in a public hot tub
You do realize that wasn't me posting that, right???
And PS - I'm gonna just say it here, because I blocked you on facebook (although, I thought I had you blocked already, but i guess not)
It is not my fault if you decide to open back up your messageboard. It is YOUR fault. Because YOU are the one who's doing it. Let me say it again: it has nothing to do with me. And if anybody wants to blame me that you're insane and you have a very sad way of dealing with your emotions, that's a whole different subject.
I wanna make her say my name. Or call me daddy.
Actually, the domain is set for auto-renew. However, since I'm sure you lack the technical knowledge to understand this I'll happily explain. Having a domain doesn't mean you have a site. It means you have a web address for a site. You need a server, a DNS... , to make the site appear on the internet.
I possess that in the form of a year contract with GoDaddy at the current time. That will expire (soon), but all information is simultaneously backed up on Techguy's server once a week, so in case we had a data loss through GoDaddy, we had a backup. As you recall, the red dots were never-ending because there was always constant posting, so it needed frequent backups.
So... the domain will auto-renew because I don't mind paying the $8.95 or whatever it is. The DNS will be redirected to his server instead of GoDaddy. The data will never go away. It will always be there.
One good thing is, the backups didn't overwrite the state of the site on the date I shut it down. I had a backup performed then to preserve ALL of the existing threads, chats, etc. So, even the posts that I removed for people since the site was closed... they are all still there. And, unless you possess some kind of super leet hacker skills, I don't think you can get into Techguy's server to delete it.
Sorry. It doesn't just *poof*. Hell, I could buy a new domain and send the whole forum there. It's really easy if you have someone that knows how to do it.
This. I've been lurking for the deliciously fun drama, but this is just awesome. I want to read the other things you write now! Bravo for this.