Is anyone else totally freaking out about money? (VENT)

hvtang · May 2012

I had a total meltdown last night.

Adding the baby to my insurance is going to cost an extra 600+ a month. My boss has previously told me that if/when I added a baby to the policy he would still only cover 50% of MY portion of the policy, so this will all be out of pocket for me.

Meanwhile, my husband currently works in a basically dead-end job, so he does not make enough to help cover the increase. I asked him last night to start looking for better opportunities, which was a long and stressful conversation. He agreed at the end, but it was just a really emotional conversation.

Now I just feel terrified and stressed that we aren't going to be able to pull this off. Is anyone else feeling this way?

ambuhsmilesx32 · May 2012

I woke up this morning a mess actually! I woke up at 5:00 am and the first thing that came to mind was money. I'm young at the age of 21, have not finished college and my boyfriend is still attending so we both have minimum wage jobs. We have a pretty supportive family that is going to help, but i'm also applying for help from the government. I don't want to do that, because i feel like a lot of people take advantage of it, but that's what it has come down to for me.

KikiCohen · May 2012

Yeah, I'm freaking out too. I found out yesterday that my student loans are going to come due in July. I took this semester off b/c DH had some health problems before Christmas and things were so up in the air that I didn't feel comfortable registering for classes. I didn't know that this would affect my loans since I am renrolled for the fall.

Depending on the state that you live in, you might be able to get cover for your baby. I know in PA, there's a program called CHIP that covers children till they're 18, but I'm not sure what the requirements are to apply.

hvtang · May 2012

Yeah, we have a similiar plan in our state - I'm definitely going to look into it. I hope we qualify, but I'm afraid we may make slightly too much money. But I am definitely going to try.

Sorry you guys are feeling the same way, but it does make me feel a little better to know I'm not the only one!

bearkatjen · May 2012

KikiCohen:
Yeah, I'm freaking out too. I found out yesterday that my student loans are going to come due in July. I took this semester off b/c DH had some health problems before Christmas and things were so up in the air that I didn't feel comfortable registering for classes. I didn't know that this would affect my loans since I am renrolled for the fall.

Depending on the state that you live in, you might be able to get cover for your baby. I know in PA, there's a program called CHIP that covers children till they're 18, but I'm not sure what the requirements are to apply.

As soon as you start back to school, your loans will go back into deferment. In the meanwhile, you can see about setting up a short term forbearance.

ambuhsmilesx32 · May 2012

hvtang:
Yeah, we have a similiar plan in our state - I'm definitely going to look into it. I hope we qualify, but I'm afraid we may make slightly too much money. But I am definitely going to try.
Sorry you guys are feeling the same way, but it does make me feel a little better to know I'm not the only one!

Worrying is a part of pregnancy Just wait until that little bundle of joy arrives! It'll all be worth it and work out, but then of course more worrying with accompany the babies' every little symptom!

jpeltierphoto · May 2012

COMPLETELY STRESSED ABOUT MONEY! Don't get me wrong, I am SO excited about adding this baby to our family, but right now, we don't have the space in our house, our vehicle isn't big enough and my husband's job is not going well. His boss keeps telling him that he'll give him a raise and talk about giving us our insurance back (lost it 3 years ago when the company was having trouble), but his boss is not following through with it. I have spent a lot of time praying that something else will come along and things will fall into place. Having faith that something will work out. I believe that this baby was meant to be.

amh04 · May 2012

I'm always freaking out about money. In essence, we're pretty sound right now and will be better off once June comes around when my H will finally be paid for his promotion.

My freakout comes to the fact that since I am considered a Part Time employee, and will be part time after the baby is born, I don't qualify for any benefits at all. Thankfully insurance isn't an issue for us, since H has insurance that provides for us and future kids. My issue is I don't recieve any paid time off or maternity leave. So I have to sit down with my boss, when I tell her, and talk about time off. So - we'll be sacraficing just over a months pay and not to mention will be having to pay my taxes (I don't have taxes taken out of my check) after the baby is born. So - for me it's really scary. I know ideally it won't be a big deal come June when I can just start setting aside a big chunk of money every month. And really we need to start budgeting for half my income.

All I've got, is that one way or another it will work out. I wouldn't stress because it isn't healthy for you or your baby. Just take a deep breathe, try and find a different insurance company (call around and get quotes) and see if it will be cheaper to have your child on a different insurance company.

rrcraz7 · May 2012

I'd look into other options for insurance. I know our state has CHIP (I don't know if it's state or national) which can get lower cost health insurance for childeren if you meet the income requirements. My sis has horrible insurance through work & was able to get her DD on CHIP, which really helped them out.

ETA: https://coverageforall.org/

cwm11985 · May 2012

Yep, every single day. Insurance+babysitter will= $1000/month and that is literally half of my paycheck (anddddd our county has a several million dollar shortfall for next school year so I'll be getting a paycut). Husband makes even less than I do, blah. We aren't extravagent spenders by any means but after paying the mortgage and bills IDK how we will cover anything else (diapers, baby stuff). arghhhh, I totally feel your pain. I've been kind of job searching but I wouldn't want to even think about switching until after baby is born.

KikiCohen · May 2012

bearkatjen:
KikiCohen:

Yeah, I'm freaking out too. I found out yesterday that my student loans are going to come due in July. I took this semester off b/c DH had some health problems before Christmas and things were so up in the air that I didn't feel comfortable registering for classes. I didn't know that this would affect my loans since I am renrolled for the fall.

Depending on the state that you live in, you might be able to get cover for your baby. I know in PA, there's a program called CHIP that covers children till they're 18, but I'm not sure what the requirements are to apply.

As soon as you start back to school, your loans will go back into deferment. In the meanwhile, you can see about setting up a short term forbearance.

Unfortunately, I will not qualify for deferment b/c I only have one class left to take and therefore will only be taking 3 credits. We will be applying for forbearance as soon as my grace period expires.

LadyNikon · May 2012

Yes it's gonna cost us 14k to get the room ready for the twins and fix a bathroom. However, I can't stress myself out over it. I don't want to put that stress on the babies.

KikiCohen · May 2012

LoisLane23:
Nope. I took into account the added expense of a child and planned accordingly before getting pregnant.

Good for you. I sincerely hope nothing unexpected comes along and foils all that careful planning you did.

JordanL1221 · May 2012

LoisLane23:
Nope. I took into account the added expense of a child and planned accordingly before getting pregnant.

Well, that's just swell. Congratulations.I hope your child has everything it could ever need or want.

Yes, I am stressing as well. This was a surprise pregnancy. FI has a good job (about $85k a year), but is having to change since I got pregnant. He works in construction and has to leave the current company he is with because his project in OK is over and they are about to move him to a new location. He wanted to put down roots anyways, but now he has to find a job here so the baby can be added to his insurance. If not, Oklahoma has SoonerCare. I'm currently a student, and got laid off last month from my job. Luckily we have money in savings. I am thinking about going to a temp agency so I can work around dr appointments and such.

I hate being stuck in limbo.

growbeangrow · May 2012

Yes, in the sense that we financially planned for one baby and now we are expecting two. Daycare is going to cost $750 per week (and that's on the cheaper side out here!). But I know we'll make it work.

ssmb_clarinet · May 2012

LoisLane23:
Nope. I took into account the added expense of a child and planned accordingly before getting pregnant.

This is such a helpful comment, really. OP did not ask about your financial well-being and how smart you are with money, she asked if anyone else was stressed. Why even respond. Ugh.

ssmb_clarinet · May 2012

KikiCohen:
LoisLane23:
Nope. I took into account the added expense of a child and planned accordingly before getting pregnant.

Good for you. I sincerely hope nothing unexpected comes along and foils all that careful planning you did.

Yes

LadyNikon · May 2012

growbeangrow:
Yes, in the sense that we financially planned for one baby and now we are expecting two. Daycare is going to cost $750 per week (and that's on the cheaper side out here!). But I know we'll make it work.

yea our daycare is going to go from 150 ( for a toddler) to 550 ( infants 200x2) .. Basically I will be taking home 800 bucks a month after daycare is paid for.. I am soo looking for a new job once the twins are ready for daycare (cry)

cwm11985 · May 2012

KikiCohen:

LoisLane23:
Nope. I took into account the added expense of a child and planned accordingly before getting pregnant.

Good for you. I sincerely hope nothing unexpected comes along and foils all that careful planning you did.

Yes I can plan accordingly all I want and the fact is, I'm still a teacher in a poor, rural county; I still have a husband who is an army veteran w/o a college degree and will always be a blue collar worker. We have money in a savings account, we "planned accordingly" but that sure as hell doesn't make it any less stressful to figure out how to make it work.

KikiCohen · May 2012

LoisLane23:
ssmb_clarinet:

LoisLane23:
Nope. I took into account the added expense of a child and planned accordingly before getting pregnant.

This is such a helpful comment, really. OP did not ask about your financial well-being and how smart you are with money, she asked if anyone else was stressed. Why even respond. Ugh.

The question was, "Is anyone else totally freaking out about money?". I answered that I wasn't because we planned and set aside money for it.

Sure, unexpected things come up. But if at this stage, she's worried about paying an extra $600 per month for insurance, plus the cost of daycare and other baby related items, I'm a little concerned for her.

Your "concern" came off as "I have more money than you, therefore I am better suited to be a parent."

JordanL1221 · May 2012

cwm11985:
KikiCohen:

LoisLane23:
Nope. I took into account the added expense of a child and planned accordingly before getting pregnant.

Good for you. I sincerely hope nothing unexpected comes along and foils all that careful planning you did.

I can plan accordingly all I want and the fact is, I'm still a teacher in a poor, rural county; I still have a husband who is an army veteran w/o a college degree and will always be a blue collar worker. We have money in a savings account, we "planned accordingly" but that sure as hell doesn't make it any less stressful to figure out how to make it work.

*stands up to clap*

Megroons · May 2012

LoisLane23:
KikiCohen:
LoisLane23:
ssmb_clarinet:

LoisLane23:
Nope. I took into account the added expense of a child and planned accordingly before getting pregnant.

This is such a helpful comment, really. OP did not ask about your financial well-being and how smart you are with money, she asked if anyone else was stressed. Why even respond. Ugh.

The question was, "Is anyone else totally freaking out about money?". I answered that I wasn't because we planned and set aside money for it.

Sure, unexpected things come up. But if at this stage, she's worried about paying an extra $600 per month for insurance, plus the cost of daycare and other baby related items, I'm a little concerned for her.

Your "concern" came off as "I have more money than you, therefore I am better suited to be a parent."

LOL ok then. I didn't mention any money, just that we planned for children accordingly and did some research to see what things would cost so we wouldn't be shocked by the expense of children.

apparently you were ONLY supposed to be answering this question if you WERE in fact worried about money. So in that case, I'll refrain from saying anything & go back to my own board "where I belong"..... Confused

CloudBee · May 2012

Why all the snark for LoisLane? A question was asked, and she's being singled out for apparently being the only outlier to answer.

Just because she seems to be one step ahead of many of you, doesn't mean she was taking a jab. She actually gave some valuable insight with her response. Imagine that.

kcisthebombdotcom · May 2012

hvtang:

I had a total meltdown last night.

Adding the baby to my insurance is going to cost an extra 600+ a month. My boss has previously told me that if/when I added a baby to the policy he would still only cover 50% of MY portion of the policy, so this will all be out of pocket for me.

Meanwhile, my husband currently works in a basically dead-end job, so he does not make enough to help cover the increase. I asked him last night to start looking for better opportunities, which was a long and stressful conversation. He agreed at the end, but it was just a really emotional conversation.

Now I just feel terrified and stressed that we aren't going to be able to pull this off. Is anyone else feeling this way?

No, but I would advise you to have your DH get a part time job in the meantime for extra money (along with job hunting for something more lucrative). He has 7 months until the baby comes to earn extra.

mrsnala · May 2012

Same here, my husband is self employed and we have had some trouble getting his company off and running, Luckily I have a decent job that will be able to support us.

HopeNotLost · May 2012

CloudBee:

Why all the snark for LoisLane? A question was asked, and she's being singled out for apparently being the only outlier to answer.

Just because she seems to be one step ahead of many of you, doesn't mean she was taking a jab. She actually gave some valuable insight with her response. Imagine that.

As much as this kills me, I agree and support LL in her answer. I'm sure she is as human as any of us, and if something came up that she wasn't necessarily expecting, she would be stressed as well. No one is fully 100% prepared for a child. Or for life for that matter.

hvtang · May 2012

Thanks for all of the insight. Please don't think that I didn't look into/consider the costs beforehand. I absolutely did - hence discussing it with my boss a year ago (well before becoming pregnant) to determine what would be covered, etc.

We will make it work, but that doesn't mean it's not stressful. I'm sure even for those of you who have/had it all figured out felt some levels of stress at some point (or if not, well, then that's amazing, and lucky for you.)

Megroons · May 2012

CloudBee:

Why all the snark for LoisLane? A question was asked, and she's being singled out for apparently being the only outlier to answer.

Just because she seems to be one step ahead of many of you, doesn't mean she was taking a jab. She actually gave some valuable insight with her response. Imagine that.

Well said Yes

6fsn · May 2012

Yes I'm stressed. Right now we have 2 mortgages and we're going to need a new (to us) vehicle. We thought we were done and our cars were fine, but we can't get 3 seats in a Matrix. We should close on one of the houses this month so that's good, but we didn't think we'd have a car payment for another 5 years.

We'll always stress about money though.

hvtang · May 2012

BrinaElka:
It's totally stressful. DH and I TTC for a long time due to my endometriosis, so we had time to save up $. Even so, you're faced with a huge set of "What if's...??" that run through your head. Babies are freaking expensive, yo!

BUT! but but but but...there are a ton of ways to save money through pg and with all the baby gear.
- Baby Bargains book
- consignment sales (Tot Swap, Moms of Multiples sales, etc)
- craigslist
- freecycle (I got a free activity mat and a friend got a free water table and baby carrier)
- hand me downs from family and friends
- borrowing baby gear for a few months
- formula coupons/checks, rewards programs for diapers, etc.

ETA: but seriously, if you want to have some objective eyes look at your monthly budget, come over to MM.

Thanks Brina - I will definitely hop over and check out that board, I am always down for budget tips!

We will have a lot of support and help from family and friends - we are SO lucky that his sister saved alllll of her baby stuff for us. So that will be a huge help. And I'm already turning into a coupon clipping fool, so I'm sure that will continue!

nikipau144 · May 2012

LoisLane23:
Hvtang--clipping coupons has been great for us. We save a lot each month and I have a small stockpile, especially for baby stuff. It's much better to buy it cheaper when you don't need it than to pay full price when you run out. That has saved us so much money.

Coupons rock my world.

SummerOH · May 2012

Well, yeah, everyone knows that you should plan accordingly and prepare for a child. However, life isn't always perfect. Sometimes the unexpected happens. But I do agree that planning a pregnancy and then freaking about money, barring any unexpected developments like job loss or twins, is a bit goofy.

DH and I are fine with money but I still have freakouts from time to time. We have a significant amount in savings but somehow I feel like it's never enough. I'm a financial advisor and very conservative with our personal finances, so perhaps that's why. I just keep thinking of all the major costs we have this summer - finishing a basement, patio installation, several weddings, two vacations, buying baby gear, etc. - and get overwhelmed. Logically I know we're ok, but when it's all running through my head I get antsy. DH always tells me to relax but that's just not my nature.

One good thing about being in our first tri - you won't have all the expenses of a child this year (namely childcare, feeding, diapering) but you get to claim the tax deduction for the entire year. So, um, that's a good thing to focus on - right?

Starlette22 · May 2012

YES,YES,YES and YES!! Not to long ago I moved back home to help relieve some financial strain of rent, student loans (especially student loans!!!) and other major expences! Only to find out Im now expecting and with that I want to be out on my own again. My boyfriend and Family are very supportive but once again I may have to return to working two jobs after the baby wich leaves very little time for new baby, family or me. Its somewhat stressful and often keeps me awake at night. I pray everything works out for you!

amh04 · May 2012

nikipau144:

LoisLane23:
Hvtang--clipping coupons has been great for us. We save a lot each month and I have a small stockpile, especially for baby stuff. It's much better to buy it cheaper when you don't need it than to pay full price when you run out. That has saved us so much money.

Coupons rock my world.

I'm in love with coupons. We also have a pretty decent stockpile for us, and I'll definitely be stocking up on baby items (esp diapers) once we get into the 2nd trimester.

gnomemom · May 2012

Yes, I am very stressed. My husband and I only make about $80K/yr, but I have a lot of opportunity for advancement. We don't own our home yet. We don't have as much money saved as I would like. However, we wanted children and we know we can make it work.

In a perfect world, we'd have the house and the minivan and I'd be finished with grad school. But if we waited for everything in our lives to be absolutely perfect before having a baby, it might never have happened. We will already be in our 30s by the time we start our family, and we did not want to wait any longer.

+easye+ · May 2012

I'm surprisingly doing ok, given that I'm typically always paranoid about money. We definitely looked into expenses and things, but I don't think you can ever be 100% prepared. I'd like our savings to be higher but the effing house keeps throwing us expensive curve balls. That being said, I know we have a budget that works well for us and we know where and how things will change with a baby in the picture, and that picture still looks okay! Remind me of this when I'm having my freakout in a few weeks! Feel better OP, there are lots of ways to save and cutback/make more.

brookew86 · May 2012

Yes! We've had a rough year so far with sickness popping up and now our car is threatening to go out on us. It's just been one thing after the other! We hadn't planned on another baby, but apparently it is ready for us. I swallowed my pride and signed up for government health insurance, but it takes 30 days to process and I've yet to hear anything. So I'm stressed that something is wrong, and the "what if" I have to go back through the enrollment process again. I can't wait another 30 days if that's the case so I'm stressed out because we're broke right now after some stuff cropped up this week that tied up all of our savings. It's just frustrating.

landosmommy · May 2012

Megroons:
LoisLane23:
KikiCohen:
LoisLane23:
ssmb_clarinet:

LoisLane23:
Nope. I took into account the added expense of a child and planned accordingly before getting pregnant.

This is such a helpful comment, really. OP did not ask about your financial well-being and how smart you are with money, she asked if anyone else was stressed. Why even respond. Ugh.

The question was, "Is anyone else totally freaking out about money?". I answered that I wasn't because we planned and set aside money for it.

Sure, unexpected things come up. But if at this stage, she's worried about paying an extra $600 per month for insurance, plus the cost of daycare and other baby related items, I'm a little concerned for her.

Your "concern" came off as "I have more money than you, therefore I am better suited to be a parent."

LOL ok then. I didn't mention any money, just that we planned for children accordingly and did some research to see what things would cost so we wouldn't be shocked by the expense of children.

apparently you were ONLY supposed to be answering this question if you WERE in fact worried about money. So in that case, I'll refrain from saying anything & go back to my own board "where I belong".....

I know, right!? I read the title of this post & totally gave it the side eye. I can't get over how people want a baby so bad because they are "cute" & "fun" but don't think about all the money that goes into raising a child! You should really be financially stable before having a baby. That doesn't mean you have to be rich, but have a steady/stable job with health benefits. You're setting yourself (& your child) up for failure if you don't have your ducks in a row BEFORE having kids.

ssmb_clarinet · May 2012

LoisLane23:
CloudBee:

Why all the snark for LoisLane? A question was asked, and she's being singled out for apparently being the only outlier to answer.

Just because she seems to be one step ahead of many of you, doesn't mean she was taking a jab. She actually gave some valuable insight with her response. Imagine that.

It's because people only want to hear responses from those that agree. It's a bump phenomenon.

I never said you had to agree, you came off as rude and condescending. No one can hear voice inflection and tone on an internet board. I am glad you are prepared, but telling OP that you did all that doesn't help her, just makes her feel worse IMO.

SummerOH · May 2012

landosmommy:
Megroons:
LoisLane23:
KikiCohen:
LoisLane23:
ssmb_clarinet:

LoisLane23:
Nope. I took into account the added expense of a child and planned accordingly before getting pregnant.

This is such a helpful comment, really. OP did not ask about your financial well-being and how smart you are with money, she asked if anyone else was stressed. Why even respond. Ugh.

The question was, "Is anyone else totally freaking out about money?". I answered that I wasn't because we planned and set aside money for it.

Sure, unexpected things come up. But if at this stage, she's worried about paying an extra $600 per month for insurance, plus the cost of daycare and other baby related items, I'm a little concerned for her.

Your "concern" came off as "I have more money than you, therefore I am better suited to be a parent."

LOL ok then. I didn't mention any money, just that we planned for children accordingly and did some research to see what things would cost so we wouldn't be shocked by the expense of children.

apparently you were ONLY supposed to be answering this question if you WERE in fact worried about money. So in that case, I'll refrain from saying anything & go back to my own board "where I belong".....

I know, right!? I read the title of this post & totally gave it the side eye. I can't get over how people want a baby so bad because they are "cute" & "fun" but don't think about all the money that goes into raising a child! You should really be financially stable before having a baby. That doesn't mean you have to be rich, but have a steady/stable job with health benefits. You're setting yourself (& your child) up for failure if you don't have your ducks in a row BEFORE having kids.

Not everyone plans to have a baby. Accidents happen. That doesn't make someone a bad or stupid person. If you plan to have a baby and then complain about the costs, then yes - you're not the brightest. But a lot of babies are unexpected surprises. I was on BC when I had DD in college. It wasn't the path I had planned but I took it and everything has turned out wonderfully. I never felt that as a young mother I was setting either one of us up for failure because I knew I'd make it work regardless of what I had to do.

I'm glad life has worked out so perfectly for all of you who are sitting around judging, but sometimes the best laid plans don't work out.

YisraelAmmi23 · May 2012

LoisLane23:
BrinaElka:

I'm not pg, but I do hang out on Money Matters on thenest.

If you're serious about looking for ways to save money and improve your budget, come over and post. The ladies there can be really helpful if you post your budget (expenses each month) and they can give great suggestions. You do have to be willing to take advice, though, and not go all defensive about how you NEED cable and to get your hair done every month etc etc etc.

Also, great resource:
https://www.daveramsey.com/article/dave-ramseys-envelope-system/lifeandmoney_budgeting

We are doing Dave right now. <---That's a weird sentence. I luff him.

This! My DH had to take his online financial peace university course as a part of one of his college classes. His system really does take the stress out of finances, annnnd I am a huge couponer, and we belong to a warehouse club =cheap baby, well manageable baby.

I think it's key to remember we're in control of our finances, and not the other way around. And don't flame me, we're not rich by any means. I SAH, and DH works and is a full time college student, but it can be done!

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