Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: I need to vent
It's so irritating when people act like a c/s is NBD.
And OSU- your daughter is such a cutie :-)
Thanks!
Regardless of which is the "easier" recovery, one is generally a much SAFER recovery. Life you said, a c/s is major surgery. a vaginal delivery is letting your body do what it is supposed to. After my c/s I could practically hear my body screaming "what the hell just happened?!" for weeks. I know plenty of people who have had both deliveries and only one felt the c/s was the better one (for good reason- she is barely 5 feet tall and delivered an 11 lb baby- it was traumatizing for her). I have had several people think I was crazy for VBACing because they would have preferred the c/s. I just remind them that they really have no idea the toll surgery takes on a person and their body. Not so much the recovery but the unknown as to what it does to you in the long run. They are just now looking at those studies.
I had a very difficult vaginal delivery, a c/s & am hoping for a vbac this time. I had relatively easy recoveries from both (most likely b/c both kids went to NICUs and I had no choice but to recover quickly if I wanted to see/spend time with them), but am still, over 3 years later, having issues from my vaginal delivery.
I had, in total, more stitches after that delivery than I did after the c/s (including staples), and I've got some random numb spots on (in?) the scars from tearing & the episiotomy. My right leg also randomly pops out of joint & is excruciatingly painful at times - I know EXACTLY how and when it happened during delivery (#1 was a spontaneous shoulder dystocia delivery, and I had a nurse, literally on top of me pulling my leg back & out while using her torso to help push down on my abdomen) and I can honestly say, I never expected to be in tears b/c of physical pain over a delivery (vaginal or c/s) years later.
ok, so that being said. I agree that she should be respectful of your choices, but maybe for her, these "little" issues that she never expected have tainted her view of childbirth more than you're realizing. No one really talks about the bad/scary/gross parts of labor & delivery until after a new mom has gone through it themselves. Even when someone does, no FTM really wants to hear all that might go wrong during what is so often called the "most beautiful, magical thing that can happen in your life".
my c/s was pretty much a breeze, and I chose to have it in part b/c of #1s delivery & #2s estimated size -9lb12oz, actual was 8lbs8.8oz - along with #2s known health issues - mainly heart - and made the decision with my MFM, #2s cardi & the neonatalogist at the hospital. It wasn't just a convenience decision for me, it was to give #2 the best way for her out.
I have noticed that there seems to be a competition among moms who have had c-sections to brag about their fabulous recoveries. While I do realize that some women have great recoveries, that's not the norm. So I think c-section moms some times take a somewhat defensive approach and talk about how great a c-section was. As a result, lots of other women think they are the way to go.
When I think about how women are often treated during vaginal births, I can sort of understand why it's often so awful. It's not the vaginal birth itself in many cases; it's about the doctor's over-management of things that makes it miserable (whereas a c-section is cut open, yank baby out, sew belly up).
I had a difficult vaginal birth but it was loads easier than either of my c-section and i would describe my 2nd c-section as an easy recovery.