I need to vent

OSUx2

I have a co-worker/friend that had a son vaginally without any big issues.  She was in pain afterwards and did develop a hemorrhoid but there was no severe tearing, etc.  She has already said she want a c/s for the next one to avoid the vaginal recovery.  Ummm, hello, that is major abdominal surgery!  We were talking today and I mentioned my hemorrhoid that flared up again and she said she got one after delivery and basically made it seem like it was the end of the world.  She actually said "you know you can still get them after" like I have no idea what I am getting into.  Yes, I know but I will take a hemorrhoid over surgery!  She acts like I am crazy for wanting a VBAC and that a c/s is no big deal.  Ugh

Sorry just had to vent a bit.

lostaspen

My 3 stitches and hemorrhoid from my VBAC were a million times easier and faster to recover from than the c/s.  I have such a hard time understanding why so many woman want a c/s.

hopecounts

It's so irritating when people act like a c/s is NBD.

And OSU- your daughter is such a cutie :-) 

OSUx2

hopecounts:

It's so irritating when people act like a c/s is NBD.

And OSU- your daughter is such a cutie :-) 

Thanks!

annabelle.27

meh. Everyone is different. I've had one c-section and one vbac, both with "easy" recoveries (I didn't even tear). In all honesty, I was still in a lot of pain after my vbac. I don't consider it to be an easier recovery than c-section, at least in my experience, and I've known plenty of women who have had both who felt the vaginal recovery was more difficult (I've also known plenty who felt the opposite, but it just goes to show that everyone is different with different experiences).

MAprincess

Regardless of which is the "easier" recovery, one is generally a much SAFER recovery.  Life you said, a c/s is major surgery.  a vaginal delivery is letting your body do what it is supposed to.  After my c/s I could practically hear my body screaming "what the hell just happened?!" for weeks.  I know plenty of people who have had both deliveries and only one felt the c/s was the better one (for good reason- she is barely 5 feet tall and delivered an 11 lb baby- it was traumatizing for her).  I have had several people think I was crazy for VBACing because they would have preferred the c/s.  I just remind them that they really have no idea the toll surgery takes on a person and their body.  Not so much the recovery but the unknown as to what it does to you in the long run.  They are just now looking at those studies.

 

iris427

Honestly?  I had a REALLY easy c/s recovery.  I can't imagine how frustrating it must be too still feel the effects of a vaginal delivery years afterwards, like some people do.  It can affect your ability to enjoy sex, and undermine your marriage and your confidence in yourself as a woman.  I can understand why those people want a c/s and feel negatively toward vaginal birth.  Just like many of us have strong negative feelings about c/s because of our experiences and maybe want to warn others so they don't go through the same thing.  That said, your friend should respect your wishes and be supportive.  

smbd

I had a very difficult vaginal delivery, a c/s & am hoping for a vbac this time. I had relatively easy recoveries from both (most likely b/c both kids went to NICUs and I had no choice but to recover quickly if I wanted to see/spend time with them), but am still, over 3 years later, having issues from my vaginal delivery.
I had, in total, more stitches after that delivery than I did after the c/s (including staples), and I've got some random numb spots on (in?) the scars from tearing & the episiotomy. My right leg also randomly pops out of joint & is excruciatingly painful at times - I know EXACTLY how and when it happened during delivery (#1 was a spontaneous shoulder dystocia delivery, and I had a nurse, literally on top of me pulling my leg back & out while using her torso to help push down on my abdomen) and I can honestly say, I never expected to be in tears b/c of physical pain over a delivery (vaginal or c/s) years later.

ok, so that being said. I agree that she should be respectful of your choices, but maybe for her, these "little" issues that she never expected have tainted her view of childbirth more than you're realizing. No one really talks about the bad/scary/gross parts of labor & delivery until after a new mom has gone through it themselves. Even when someone does, no FTM really wants to hear all that might go wrong during what is so often called the "most beautiful, magical thing that can happen in your life". 

 

my c/s was pretty much a breeze, and I chose to have it in part b/c of #1s delivery & #2s estimated size -9lb12oz, actual was 8lbs8.8oz - along with #2s known health issues - mainly heart - and made the decision with my MFM, #2s cardi & the neonatalogist at the hospital. It wasn't just a convenience decision for me, it was to give #2 the best way for her out. 

rbytsdy

I have noticed that there seems to be a competition among moms who have had c-sections to brag about their fabulous recoveries.  While I do realize that some women have great recoveries, that's not the norm. So I think c-section moms some times take a somewhat defensive approach and talk about how great a c-section was.  As a result, lots of other women think they are the way to go. 

When I think about how women are often treated during vaginal births, I can sort of understand why it's often so awful.  It's not the vaginal birth itself in many cases; it's about the doctor's over-management of things that makes it miserable (whereas a c-section is cut open, yank baby out, sew belly up). 

I had a difficult vaginal birth but it was loads easier than either of my c-section and i would describe my 2nd c-section as an easy recovery.