Unwrapped Gifts at Shower

sinisforgiven · April 2012

My family is planning a very large, coed celebration likely with 80 or more guests (not including the children)... I'm not too keen on spending an hour and a half (or more) unwrapping gifts. I'd rather spend this time mingling and doing other activities with my loved ones. Also, all of the money people will spend on bows/bags/paper etc seems like a huge waste (I usually spend $7-$12 on wrapping for gifts myself...)

I'm thinking about asking my hostess to add a note on the invites giving a suggestion to bring unwrapped gifts.. something like.. "Help us to save a tree and forgo the bags, bows, and wrapping paper." Whoever is greeting the guests would ask them to write their name on a label and attach it to their gift(s) when they arrive, then arrange them on display for all to see. Ribbon will be provided to tie small gift items together as well.. If people do bring wrapped gifts, they will be placed with the other gifts but not opened during the event.

I've thought this through a bit, and I know some people will be a little weird-ed out by the idea, but I don't feel that it is offensive or tacky. I personally hate the part of the shower when the person of honor is opening gifts.. it gets terribly boring for the guests and you can tell the person is getting exhausted and having to really force out enthusiastic thank-yous.

Polite opinions please!

ETA: It will not be termed a baby "shower" but the registry will be mentioned on the invite. Also, no games and such..

hterry85 · April 2012

I don't have much of an opinion either way, but the general thought on this is usually no. If I'm going to spend the time and money to buy you a gift, the least you can do is spend 30 seconds opening it.

kelbel527 · April 2012

I think this 100% depends on your guests. If this was my family and friends, I know I'd get the following reactions:

Old ladies: "But I want her to open the gift! I NEED to see her reaction! Not wrapping a gift?!?"

Friends: "Yay! There is no way I want to sit and watch 80 gifts being opened!" "Woohoo, I just saved $5 on wrapping paper!"

Men: "Thank you! I hate wrapping gifts"

So that's my light-hearted opinion. I actually think it's a great idea, since it will take forever to open that many gifts. But, you're never going to please everyone.

SGC29 · April 2012

As politely as I can put this..

it is tacky.

If you don't want to "waste" so much time opening gifts, don't invite 80 people to a baby shower. I would be insulted if my gift were just shoved on a table throughout the duration of the shower and then never mentioned. Your guests are taking the time to go out and buy you a gift, take the time to unwrap it in front of them and properly thank and acknowledge it.

WiFeY 4 LiFeY · April 2012

I understand your point- at my shower for DS1 it took my over an hour to open all my gifts Indifferent

. I kind of think its a good idea, but at the same time it takes away from the fun a little.

sarahbella42 · April 2012

I know that the general opinion is that this is probably an etiquette no-no, but I think it's actually kind of cute. I know that I went to a baby shower in December and I couldn't wrap what I got because of it's odd shape so it could help some people out. I think the people that really have a problem with the idea will just go ahead and bring you a wrapped gift.

sinisforgiven · April 2012

MandJS:
If it's not termed a shower, but instead, a celebration, I don't think you need to open gifts. However, if it's termed a shower, it is expected that gifts will be open. And I really don't like telling people what to do with their gifts - if you don't want to open that many gifts, don't invite that many people.

Yes, I forgot to add that we won't be calling it a shower anywhere.. but the registry will be mentioned on the invites so I don't know how that applies

melodramatic26 · April 2012

I think that not opening the gifts makes it seem even more "gift grabby" than normal. I get a shower is for getting gifts, but the very least you can do is take the few seconds to open the gift in front of the giver. It taking so long is just the downside to inviting the many people to a shower.

EGMphoto · April 2012

SGC29:
As politely as I can put this..
it is tacky.
If you don't want to "waste" so much time opening gifts, don't invite 80 people to a baby shower.

Completely this.

kelbel527 · April 2012

I see I am completely in the minority here (I expected that). But maybe that's because I hate sitting for 2 hours watching someone open gifts. It's pretty boring.

melodramatic26 · April 2012

sinisforgiven:

MandJS:
If it's not termed a shower, but instead, a celebration, I don't think you need to open gifts. However, if it's termed a shower, it is expected that gifts will be open. And I really don't like telling people what to do with their gifts - if you don't want to open that many gifts, don't invite that many people.

Yes, I forgot to add that we won't be calling it a shower anywhere.. but the registry will be mentioned on the invites so I don't know how that applies

not calling it a shower, but then asking for gifts doesn't make it any different. It's still obviously a shower.

SGC29 · April 2012

sinisforgiven:
MandJS:
If it's not termed a shower, but instead, a celebration, I don't think you need to open gifts. However, if it's termed a shower, it is expected that gifts will be open. And I really don't like telling people what to do with their gifts - if you don't want to open that many gifts, don't invite that many people.

Yes, I forgot to add that we won't be calling it a shower anywhere.. but the registry will be mentioned on the invites so I don't know how that applies

Regardless of what it is being called, you are expecting people to purchase you gifts and then you are going to ask them to bring them unwrapped to a party, set them on a table and then what? Just go about their business? I think I find it even more tacky that you are including registry info into an invite for a non shower. If it is just a BBQ or luncheon why are you requesting gifts?

judahsmommy1 · April 2012

I don't know that I think it's tacky. If you do choose to do things this way I would plan on spending a good amount of time looking over the gifts and then personally acknowledging them to the giver. I also think it depends on your guests. Honestly I HATE sitting through the opening of gifts at showers. But I'm weird and I also hate receiving thank you cards. (Not sending them, I hate receiving them.) I know that not everyone is like this, but I give gifts because I want the person to have what I gave them, not because I want it acknowledged in front of a bunch of people or to get a tiny card in the mail (that I know gave them hand cramps and took up a bunch of time that they probably didn't really have to spare) that I am just going to put straight into the trash can. (And feel a little guilty about putting it straight into the trash can because I know it gave them hand cramps and took time that they probably didn't have.)

SBBBE · April 2012

I wouldn't be thrilled if I went to a shower if didn't see the guest of honor open up my gift but I also would be annoyed if it took forever to open up the gifts. Can you open the as people arrive? That way not everyone has to watch but the person that brought it gets to see you open it. You will still get some personal time with the guests while you are opening the gifts.

SBBBE · April 2012

I wouldn't be thrilled if I went to a shower if didn't see the guest of honor open up my gift but I also would be annoyed if it took forever to open up the gifts. Can you open the as people arrive? That way not everyone has to watch but the person that brought it gets to see you open it. You will still get some personal time with the guests while you are opening the gifts.

SGC29 · April 2012

SBBBE:
I wouldn't be thrilled if I went to a shower if didn't see the guest of honor open up my gift but I also would be annoyed if it took forever to open up the gifts. Can you open the as people arrive? That way not everyone has to watch but the person that brought it gets to see you open it. You will still get some personal time with the guests while you are opening the gifts.

I find this tacky as well.

Emily Post would be rolling over in her grave over this post. Oy.

FemShep · April 2012

SGC29:
As politely as I can put this..
it is tacky.
If you don't want to "waste" so much time opening gifts, don't invite 80 people to a baby shower. I would be insulted if my gift were just shoved on a table throughout the duration of the shower and then never mentioned. Your guests are taking the time to go out and buy you a gift, take the time to unwrap it in front of them and properly thank and acknowledge it.

Agree 100%. If you don't want to open so many gifts, don't invite so many people.

jlrschmidt · April 2012

MandJS:
sinisforgiven:

MandJS:
If it's not termed a shower, but instead, a celebration, I don't think you need to open gifts. However, if it's termed a shower, it is expected that gifts will be open. And I really don't like telling people what to do with their gifts - if you don't want to open that many gifts, don't invite that many people.

Yes, I forgot to add that we won't be calling it a shower anywhere.. but the registry will be mentioned on the invites so I don't know how that applies

If you're including registry information, I think it's the same thing as calling it a shower. If you don't want to open gifts, leave the registry information off. People will either ask the hostess if you're registered somewhere (which the hostess can provide to them) or they will buy what they want.

This. If you have registry information on the invitation, you are, in a sense, asking for gifts. I think it is polite to open the gifts and thank/acknowledge each person.

mer313131 · April 2012

TheMcCombies:
SGC29:
As politely as I can put this..
it is tacky.
If you don't want to "waste" so much time opening gifts, don't invite 80 people to a baby shower.
Completely this.

Agreed .

RachMHB · April 2012

I would be concerned as a guest that maybe I didn't get you as much as another mutual friend or something, and then it would be out there for everyone to see on the table. Not that you as the receiver would care about this, but I would.

I have to agree with previous posters, I wouldn't do it this way for a number of reasons.

ccam · April 2012

In my opinon, its tacky. If you're mentioning your registry, you are expecting gifts. People will want to see you open the gifts that they spent time and money on. If you don't want it to be so shower-like, then I would leave the registry info off of the invites. Guests may still buy you a little something, I'm sure, but you wouldn't really be expected to open each gift.

allsmilesCMT · April 2012

I have to agree that I think it is impolite, but I understand not wanting to sit down for a prolonged period of time opening gifts. I recently went to a baby shower where the Mommy-to-be had two times of opening gifts. After socializing for a bit and having a few appetizers, the host announced that the Mommy-to-be would open half of the gifts then and the other half after everyone had eaten the shower meal and played games. I thought it was a very clever idea! That way you have things to talk about about for the entirety of the shower.

DottyBlue · April 2012

hterry85:
I don't have much of an opinion either way, but the general thought on this is usually no. If I'm going to spend the time and money to buy you a gift, the least you can do is spend 30 seconds opening it.

This. Word-for-word.

AnaKat405 · April 2012

If it's going to be such a large gathering, I doubt those who don't care to sit through the entire gift opening will do so and instead mingle with others who aren't watching.

At a friend's shower (huge family, five sisters, grandparents, aunts, friends) there wasn't even room for everyone to be in the same area for her opening her gifts. Most people waited until she opened theirs and went to another room or outside to make room for someone else to have a seat.

There may still be people who choose to wrap their gift anyway and that might make those who didn't wrap theirs feel bad.

TravelSnob · April 2012

SGC29:
sinisforgiven:
MandJS:
If it's not termed a shower, but instead, a celebration, I don't think you need to open gifts. However, if it's termed a shower, it is expected that gifts will be open. And I really don't like telling people what to do with their gifts - if you don't want to open that many gifts, don't invite that many people.

Yes, I forgot to add that we won't be calling it a shower anywhere.. but the registry will be mentioned on the invites so I don't know how that applies
Regardless of what it is being called, you are expecting people to purchase you gifts and then you are going to ask them to bring them unwrapped to a party, set them on a table and then what? Just go about their business? I think I find it even more tacky that you are including registry info into an invite for a non shower. If it is just a BBQ or luncheon why are you requesting gifts?

I was wondering when someone would pick up on this. It's incredibly rude to invite someone to a BBQ or whatever and expect them to bring a gift if it's not a shower.

Jenelle101 · April 2012

SGC29:
As politely as I can put this..
it is tacky.
If you don't want to "waste" so much time opening gifts, don't invite 80 people to a baby shower. I would be insulted if my gift were just shoved on a table throughout the duration of the shower and then never mentioned. Your guests are taking the time to go out and buy you a gift, take the time to unwrap it in front of them and properly thank and acknowledge it.

I agree with this. Sorry, OP.

texandbluejay · April 2012

It doesn't matter what you call it. Unless you put no gifts on the invite, you should plan on opening gifts. Everybody knows it's coming, they expect that, and they know it's the boring part of any party. But it's just rude not to do it.

kategw · April 2012

They are called display showers. In some areas they are very much the norm and they are AWESOME. If its not the norm by you, though, I wouldn't bother because people will be put off and accuse you of being tacky. In my hometown its the norm, but where I live now, it's unheard of, which I hate. I had a shower in my hometown that was display and one here that wasn't.

CraftyKayla · April 2012

SGC29:

As politely as I can put this..

it is tacky.

If you don't want to "waste" so much time opening gifts, don't invite 80 people to a baby shower. I would be insulted if my gift were just shoved on a table throughout the duration of the shower and then never mentioned. Your guests are taking the time to go out and buy you a gift, take the time to unwrap it in front of them and properly thank and acknowledge it.

I agree with this.

kokokat · April 2012

I don't think you need to open the gifts at the shower/celebration/party, do you? You can open them later, have DH help you do the thank you note list, and spend time at the party with your guests. I've never had a baby shower before though. I don't know whether it's rude not to open the gifts there.

mlf625 · April 2012

Um, no.

SGC29 · April 2012

kokokat:
I don't think you need to open the gifts at the shower/celebration/party, do you? You can open them later, have DH help you do the thank you note list, and spend time at the party with your guests. I've never had a baby shower before though. I don't know whether it's rude not to open the gifts there.

Also considered rude.

byrne15 · April 2012

For me, I would have liked a non-wrapping gift shower, but only because of the perk of less waste. I only had about 15 people at my shower, but I do feel bad about all the waste that is created.

kokokat · April 2012

Ok, somehow I missed the detail about the registry stuff being on the invitation. I guess I thought that some people would elect to bring gifts, instead of feeling compelled to do so by virtue of the fact that the registry details are being provided. In that case, I agree that if you are inviting people, and telling them where to buy your gifts (and what to buy), then you need to open them all.

I guess the other option is asking the person doing the invitations to put "no gifts, please" on the invites if opening all the presents is going to bum you out.

morethancottoncandy · April 2012

SGC29:

As politely as I can put this..

it is tacky.

If you don't want to "waste" so much time opening gifts, don't invite 80 people to a baby shower. I would be insulted if my gift were just shoved on a table throughout the duration of the shower and then never mentioned. Your guests are taking the time to go out and buy you a gift, take the time to unwrap it in front of them and properly thank and acknowledge it.

This, 100%.

kelnyc · April 2012

I actually really enjoy seeing people open their gifts. And since giving gifts is my favorite part, I definitely want to see the recipient open mine. That being said, it would be a bit much to sit through over an hour of present opening. Again, if there were less people...

kelnyc · April 2012

byrne15:
For me, I would have liked a non-wrapping gift shower, but only because of the perk of less waste. I only had about 15 people at my shower, but I do feel bad about all the waste that is created.

Wrapping and tissue paper are recyclable.

jennypasadena · April 2012

I kind of appreciate this. I once went to a shower (my evil SIL, so I couldn't get out of it), and she had it in her own home, and there were probably 70 people there. The gift unwrapping took 90 minutes. It was EXCRUCIATING. I understand that people want to see you ooh and aah over their gift, but I would GLADLY have foregone that to get out of there sooner. It was miserable and awful.

Edited to add: But as previous posters have noted, the problem may lie more with your need to have SO MANY people at your shower. It comes across as extremely gift-grabby. I'd recommend having a smaller shower or multiple smaller showers so this isn't an issue, but if you do have 80 people, the gift wrapping will indeed be awful.

camillaandcarson · April 2012

SGC29:
As politely as I can put this..
it is tacky.
If you don't want to "waste" so much time opening gifts, don't invite 80 people to a baby shower. Your guests are taking the time to go out and buy you a gift, take the time to unwrap it in front of them and properly thank and acknowledge it.

This. If you can't take an hour or two out of your your entire year for this occasion where people are giving you their time and money to celebrate with you and for you then that is sad. Just enjoy yourself. And move on. It isn't polite to dictate not only what stores people buy from with putting your registry on there but also how they can and should wrap or not wrap them. Don't get caught up in the details. Just have a good time.

pammi2003 · April 2012

I hate going to showers and birthday parties where the gifts are not being opened.

AndBabyWouldMake5 · April 2012

MandJS:
sinisforgiven:
MandJS:
If it's not termed a shower, but instead, a celebration, I don't think you need to open gifts. However, if it's termed a shower, it is expected that gifts will be open. And I really don't like telling people what to do with their gifts - if you don't want to open that many gifts, don't invite that many people.

Yes, I forgot to add that we won't be calling it a shower anywhere.. but the registry will be mentioned on the invites so I don't know how that applies
If you're including registry information, I think it's the same thing as calling it a shower. If you don't want to open gifts, leave the registry information off. People will either ask the hostess if you're registered somewhere (which the hostess can provide to them) or they will buy what they want.

Yes If you include registry info it is a shower, no matter what you call it.

If you don't want to open the gifts call it a celebration but give the hostess the registry info so that when people rsvp and ask they can find out, plus people are savvy these days and just do a registry search online.

I agree that it can be boring to watch someone open 100 gifts but I do enjoy watching them open mine, and when I go to a shower I expect to sit through gift opening. A glass of wine while I watch never hurts (except for us pregnant folk)!

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