Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: FFFC!
I've had a very stressful last 6 months. My confession......I haven't done diddly squat for this baby. Bought a couple new onesies and that's it. It's probably because I already have every darn thing I could possibly need and she will be sharing a room with H and I instead of having her own room so there hasn't been a nursery started. We just settled on her name yesterday and that's the furthest we've come. And I bought my friend's carseat which was only used 6 months. So yeah.....that's been the full extent of my preparations for this baby.
I don't plan on DH spending the night in the hospital. He snores terribly, and I am actually looking forward to a few nights of not listening to him snore. I also plan on having the baby in the nursery at least the first night. I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to get a few hours of sleep right after giving birth.
This is awesome.
Sometimes at night when I get home from work I let DD watch tv basically from the time we get home until bed time. We take breaks every now and then and play, but usually it helps me get things done around the house if I need to. My DH works two jobs so he isn't home until after she goes to bed, so a lot of the housework falls on me.
ETA: we only do this if it is raining, windy or cold. Usually when it is really nice out we are outside except when we are eating dinner.
Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
Nursed without dairy, egg, soy, peanut, treenut, fish, shellfish or beef for over a year.
Currently tandem nursing dairy, egg, and shellfish free.
DS born via emergency c/s after 20 hrs of labor. DD successful VBAC!
Learning Liam
I'm a bitter whale these days.
We saw my brother and his girlfriend (on and off for the past 10 years) over Easter and nearly ever comment out of her mouth was how fat our dog is (he is chubby). She also made comments about my workout routine 2 months after DD2 was born. She's petite and maybe self conscious about keeping slim but I've about had it with her fat comments around me. Not to mention how she and my brother will be giving my parents a grandson since apparently DH and I can't. I want to ask how that's working out for her considering she's neither married nor pregnant.
Secondly, my "everything revolves around me" cousin is pregnant and due in October. I only found out from her sister 2 weeks ago and have had to read about it everyday on Facebook already - complaints that her mom is "leaving her pregnant daughter behind" when they go to Palm Springs this week, which has zero to do with her being pregnant. And the belly shots have started already. At 12 weeks. And probably 75+lbs overweight so the belly is really just belly and not baby at all and it's taking every bone of strenght I have to bite my tongue and not comment that her "belly" is just bloat.
On the plus side, my belly photos are this weekend with DH and the kidlets. I'm looking forward to some fun family pics as well.....and maybe a little boasting on facebook to knock a certain someone down a peg or two.
I've never participated in this, but I finally have one
The main reason (about 80%) I am planning on BF'ing is because I'm hoping it will help me with weight loss after LO comes. Yes, I know this is selfish
I feel like a sexual zombie. I loathe the idea of sex and anything to do with it. The last two times I tried it was the most awful experience. I hardly feel like a woman anymore, let alone a good wife. That being said, DH gets what he gets...and that is very infrequent...and I really don't feel bad about it. Pregnancy isn't easy and the hatred of sex wasn't something I was expecting so I really don't feel bad he is deprived when I feel so terrible about hating it for myself. Sorry about your luck DH!
Also, he has been so great and hasn't said or done anything, its just something that i am struggling with.
1) Every single pregnancy photo shoot I've ever seen looks either over-the-top cheesy or downright creepy. I won't be getting this done.
2) I think that there are too many women who are planning to have natural childbirth who have holier/stronger/better-than-thou attitudes. I used to want to go natural, until I saw the internet absolutely plastered with the crazy attitudes of these women. Now I'm getting an epidural - I don't want to be associated with these b!tc#es.
3) My lady parts are puffy. As in like fat. And I can't see to shave it either, so there's no way in heck I'm having sex until August.
I don't think that is selfish at all. While I am not BF just for that reason alone, I consider it a huge perk. Also I am excited about BF'ing again because it is something only I can do...and I know it irritates MIL b/c with DD1 she was itching to give her a bottle and try and take over my mom duties...sorry ain't gonna happen.
Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
Same.. and yes, this is my plan too. What will happen, you ask, if LO can't tolerate breast milk? Well, I will continue to pump until I reach my desired weight, and donate it to a milk bank! lol Horrible, I realize, but it's so much better than using a treadmill...
HA! This is great!
DS#1- 7/2002
DS#2- 6/2004
DS#3- 9/2007
I did both these things and I highly recommend it to all my friends. My DH went home because we have pets he got a great nights sleep and my first night home because he was so well rested he went only baby duty and just brought her to me for feeding. It was wonderful.
Agree with all of this. Plus, I HATE the term "outside babies". It makes me cringe.
Wow..choosing to take drugs to get through your birth because you don't want to be associated with the STEREOTYPE of women that give birth naturally? that sure sounds like a good reason to have a medicated birth. *MAJOR eye-roll*
Personally- I want to try a natural child birth but its not because I'm stronger that other women or have a holier-than-thou attitude. I want to do it because its what I feel is best for the baby and what will give me the best over all birthing experience.
You really should think about whats best for YOU and your baby, regardless of everyone else, and do that. If that means a medicated birth, then by all means do it! Not judging at all. but I AM judging that you're moving forward with an dpi just because you want to avoid a stereotype.
?xp from fb
1. Our hospital has a policy that grandparents and siblings can visit maternity 24x7. Whenever any of the grandparents ask I tell them 12-8 (regular visiting hours) because I do not want these people showing up whenever they feel like it.
2. I am doing hypnobabies. It is a five week course and I still have not been able to get into it. The reason? For me it is not remotely relaxing, it is boring. Every time I listen to one of the cd's I want to jab in the side of my head after about five minutes of "peaceful thoughts".
TTC #1 since 5/10
BFP #1 7/22/11 - EDD 4/2/11 - M/C 8/15/11 (7w0d)
BFP #2 9/23/11 - EDD 6/5/12 ♥It's a Girl♥
BFP #3 2/20/13 - EDD 11/2/13 ♥It's a Girl♥
Agreed! I plan to get a pedicure and shave really well. I never thought about a spray tan. I wonder if that would be bad to have your skin died before a c-section - or if the iodine would clean that all up.
That policy is insane, and I don't blame you one bit for lying about the visiting hours. Everyone at my hospital has the same visiting hours and aside from DD and DH, there is a limit of 2 visitors per mother at any one time. There is a guard out front that strictly enforces those rules.
So you make decisions based on what other people may think of you? Good to know. I make decisions based on what works for for me and what I feel is best for myself and LO. I don't care that there are loonies that may give things a bad rap (in either direction). Other people have zero bearing on my choices and I do not care one bit what other people choose.
Why?! The one spray tan I got (to try it out before my wedding) I wreaked of chemicals for three days straight. The though of my LO trying to bond with me skin-to-skin and only smelling those chemicals makes me want to hurl. I couldn't even stand the smell.
My FFC- we had layoffs in our dept yesterday due to outsourcing and while I am relieved I am safe and have a job, a part of me is a little jealous of a couple of my coworkers who are laid off (and happy about it) with a sweet severence package and unemployment and get to be SAHMs once their benefits run out. I dread coming back to work after maternity leave right when our outsourcing functions go live.
Amen to that! Plus all those pictures....I definitely don't want to be looking all tore up! I think I'll just plan on getting sprayed once a week the last few weeks...and doing the neutrogena spray mist at home in between:)
Because I feel better and look better when I have a little tan going on. And the salon I go to will use chemical/odor free all natural spray on me since I'm pregnant. I think it's called SunFX. No risk to me or my baby:)
I'm with alicia on this one.
You're gonna need more than just a fake tan to feel/look better after giving birth lol...and I don't mean this in a mean way. But no matter how good you look up top, your vag is gonna be a nice hot mess and you won't be feeling all Beyonce up in the hospital simply because you have a tan!
Holy shiit, I just choked on my Cheeto!
DS#1- 7/2002
DS#2- 6/2004
DS#3- 9/2007
lmao! I don't care what y'all say... I always feel better with a tan.
I have only gotten two spray tans while pregnant (would get more if I could afford to and only do if I have an event) and the girl I go to uses only organic/natural ingredients. There is never any kind of chemical smell. yuck
LOL!!! Touch?!
If this is flame free what's up with the flaming? Just wondering...I never usually participate so maybe I don't understand the full concept.
Not judging about the girls getting spray tanned but I would be worried about getting my huge belly tanned then it deflating after baby. I'm already going to be self conscious about my belly pp and can't imagine that getting a tan before hand will make it look better pp. Just something I thought when I read it.
I had a good two weeks where I wasn't taking my prenatals. Now I remember every other day.
I'm planning be a natural birther (no holier-than-tho here). I've been researching for my birth plan, looking into vaccines, and other decisions that will need to be made around LO. I just can't seem to come to any conclusion around circumcision. I told DH it's up to him to research and make a decision. He says we should do it (after little research was done). We probably will do it only because I feel like I can't put anymore thought into the pro's and con's not because I came to any solid conclusion.
Flame Free Friday Confessions is never truly flame free
I'm so glad I'm having a girl. I was dreading having to make that decision between whats socially accepted and whats medically necessary...
agreed!
These both sound like FANTASTIC ideas!!!
lol good to know!
This is keeping me going today:)
My FFC- I have never had a spray tan in my life. Ross ruined it for me.
-Although my first labor went so quickly that I could not have had an epi had I wanted one, I am still proud that I did it without drugs. If that makes me a sterotypical crazy lady, then so be it. I love the fact that I know now that I can do it and will do it again.
- My patience is dwindling. I am not fit for human company at the moment. I should be locked in a closet with my Kindle, a pillow and blanket.