Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Clicky - do you judge non-AP parents?
Oh I have a feeling your smug nonsense will carry you right through jr's college years.
I judge those who give attachment parenting a bad name!!!!
um, burn?
Look, I don't disagree that certain choices loom less large as your kid ages, and that that's fine. I don't think that many people will find it to be news that everything seems like a bigger deal when you're new to it and actually experiencing it- or that message boards make any opinion anyone expresses sound like something that they care deeply about. I don't think that anyone (but a few crazies) will obsess over other's Bjorn use or FF when their kid is in second grade, but I really don't think that anyone (but a few crazies) does now, like you seem to. I do think that the choices I make reflect my attitude toward my child, and that that will matter as my kids get older- but that may just be my lack of perspective speaking, as my oldest is only 2.5.
I just find it interesting that you feel that you've reached the magical spot where you can speak with authority on parenting, but other people who act like they know anything are judge-worthy and will someday know better (or should). I'm sure that with a single four year old you know all there is to know about what's important. Really. So, thanks for your "perspective".
I think that I'm kind of where you are. I don't judge most parenting choices in the way that I'm evaluating how their kid will turn out respective to mine, but in the way that it reflects on the parent- the way that I "judge" everything that people say or do in order to form a picture of the person. And with parenting as with everything, I acknowledge that I don't know the details of a person's life...but it'd be ridiculous to say that we don't form opinions of people based on all of what we do know.
But this is really nothing AP related.
Depends on the situation.
Do I judge someone who never attempts BF at all because it's "gross", well yes, I do. Those that don't BF because they can't, have medical issues, tried and had issues, etc..different story.
I judge those that sleep train a 2, 3, 4 month old because they think their baby should be sleeping 12 hours (because that is what the book/my pedi/my MIL say)
stuff like that. mainly, those that make choices that are uneducated.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
You missed my point entirely but that's not surprising. I have reached that magical place in parenting when I realize its a crapshoot, that I'm entirely the opposite of expert, and that those parenting books that I read with such excitement during those first years were all just nonsense.
I think you get comfortable when you see a bunch of adjusted, healthy, happy children, whose parents all practiced different methods of parenting through their baby years andyou know that no matter how long you breastfeed or baby wear, you still have a shot at getting one of those weird cutty emo kids despite your best efforts.
I am very comfortable right now knowing that I can do my best, and she'll do fine. Or not. But no child will get up and thank their mother for baby wearing in their valedictory address. That's what I'm saying. So do, don't. AP, not AP. It all gets less significant as you watch amazing kids develop regardless of their parents sling choices.
You keep arguing points that I've agreed to, so I'm thinking that its you who is missing my point.
You are sharing with us the "wisdom" that you feel that you have acquired that you think will help us, and that we must not have (parents of those under one having any advice or opinions? Horrors!). You are sure that if only we knew what you know, we'd agree. It's incredibly condescending, although also fairly amusing.
But moving on from your lovely attitude, again, I agree that the details of parenting an infant will fade in importance, and that we are not shaping it children from nothing. I think, though, that the small, eventually insignificant choices we make reflect who we are as parents and people, and that means something to our children and everything to us. I hope that you aren't arguing that literally nothing we do has any impact on our kids, but if you do I admit to missing your point.
But with regards to even the small things, where does your point get us, really? Should we not consider our parenting choices because they don't matter at all? Should we not consider our sling (or stroller or diaper) choices because they won't make or break our children? How then would we pick gear or work through how we get our kids to sleep? These things need to happen however we go about them. You seem to think that because things are discussed that everyone on this board obsesses and thinks that they are crucial to being a good parent, and that you need to save us from that. I just think that they are equal to the little things discussed on any board, or among friends. Some parenting, some opinions on convenience or worth of baby gear, some random crap.
Sigh. I imagine you are new or something and haven't seen the nonsense of the bump for the past 4 years. That's the only way I can imagine you spinning round and round the point here.
WElcome friend.
Love, love, love
I actually judge parents who put their own selfish needs ahead of teaching their child to sleep. I do think parents cause sleep problems/deprivation in children. Probaby an unpopular opinion here, but I don't care.
A well-rested, happy child is much better than one who is 3 and has never slept through the night.
I also think everyone should MYOB over how others feed their children. I breastfed for quite a while and then dried up and formula fed. I never received any judgement. But my SIL had breast cancer and couldn't breastfeed at all due to surgery. She was judged and I wanted to punch some stupid women in the face b/c of it.
Here here! (and I hope I'm not some crazy stalker lurker but our kids are around the same age --Dec 07 and your daughter gets cuter and cuter in her pix...reminds me of my own, looks like such a firecracker!) Anyway, it's also very very humbling when #2 comes around and you do the exact same thing that worked with #1 and it backfires...
I felt this way as a parent from the very beginning. I'm glad it didnt take me 4 years to get to that place.
Oh, and you think you're an expert now since you have a 4 year old. Wait until you have 2 kids!
I judge (like everyone else) but not non-ap. Occasionally I'll judge someone who is ferberizing their kid at a young age, but I don't necessarily do it. It really depends on the circumstances.
Lately I've judged people who scream and belittle their kids as well as people who watch their kids misbehave and do nothing about it.
Groan.
i judge people who don't give breastfeeding a shot because they think it's "weird." I judge people who sleep train before 6 months. I won't lie, I used to judge people who sleep trained at all, but I really don't anymore, I completely understand that, for some babies, it is truly what's needed. I do think I judge people who go straight to that without researching other options, though. With the carseat thing, I do judge people who are well aware that the AAP now states rear-facing til 2, but they turn the carseat ff anyway. This one mom on a FB group I belong to turned her child FF before age 2 and basically said that she thinks that pediatricians and carseat companies are somehow in cahoots and benefitting financially by making this nonsense recommendation. Yes, I judged her.